by Sandy James
“You love me.” I’d stupidly blurted out the words.
His smile warmed me as much as his touch. “Yes, angel. I love you. Probably from the moment you saved that dog from drowning.”
Even as I savored his words, the ones that made my heart near to bursting, I couldn’t leave him hanging out on that scary ledge all alone. “I love you too. I’ve loved you for the longest time.”
“I thought so.”
“You were right. As usual.”
Scott pulled back until our bodies almost separated, then with a low moan he plunged back inside me. I almost came on the spot. He tortured me again until I reached behind him, pressed my palms to his firm butt, and let him know I was past time for playing. Evidently, so was he. The rhythm became fast, furious, frantic. Fantastic.
My muscles tightened as I flew higher and higher, anticipating something I seldom had the pleasure of achieving when a man made love to me. Orgasms are few and far between with selfish lovers, but Scott was anything but selfish. And he excited me more than I thought possible.
Just when I reached the peak, ready to let the waves of my orgasm wash over me, Scott whispered in my ear, “I love you, Maddie.”
I shattered as fire fanned through every inch of my body, and I bucked beneath him, begging him to join me. He answered with a loud groan, ramming into my body one more time. His soft moans as he called my name caused a wonderful aftershock deep inside me.
I would have been happy if the world simply exploded at that moment, because I feared I’d never experience anything as heartbreakingly exquisite as what Scott had just made me feel.
Chapter Twelve
I came out of the bathroom, feeling refreshed after a long, hot shower. I sure didn’t expect the sight that greeted me.
A pillow tucked behind his back, Scott was leaning against the headboard, reading a Kathyrn West book. One of my first. My shocked gasp must have drawn his attention because his gaze met mine.
“I have a new favorite author.” He tossed me a wink.
“You know?”
“I know.”
“How?”
“I’ve known a few people who have a favorite author and have a copy or even two of her books. But ten? And one I saw in your condo was stamped Advance Reader Copy. Figured you were the author.” He stuck a bookmark improvised from a yellow folded-up sticky note between pages and shut the book before setting it on the nightstand. “Pretty sexy stuff. Maybe we’ll have to give some of those moves a try.”
My mind ran through the love scenes from the book he’d been reading, hoping he didn’t think I was as sexually adventurous as my heroine. I sure didn’t want him to be disappointed. Handcuffs, food, even a few sex toys and a touch of bondage have been found on my pages. I finally opted to reply with some of Kathryn West’s bravado. “Want me to highlight the sex scenes?”
“Nah. I already dog-eared those pages so I can read them again later.” His eyes swept me from head to foot, and I could feel my cheeks flush hot. “That towel looks great on you.”
I considered dropping it to the floor and asking what he thought about me then, but my daring had fled as quickly as it arose. “Thanks.” I fished some fresh clothes from my bag and retreated to the bathroom like a coward.
It was hard to feel sexy when you faced one of the hardest days of your life.
* * *
Scott opened the door to the coffee shop, placed his hand against the small of my back and whispered, “It’ll be okay, angel.”
I nodded as he guided me inside the quaint place. My gaze quickly settled on Eli, who sat at a big table with Terri. A woman sat opposite them. I couldn’t see who because her back was to me. But I knew anyway.
Stephanie Robertson.
As if she heard my thoughts call to her, she turned to glance at me over her shoulder. Her eyes were rimmed red. No wonder. Her teenager had tracked down his birth mother, something Stephanie probably hoped would never happen. Had it not been for Scott loving me into a sated sleep, I’d probably have cried my eyes red too.
“It’ll be okay,” Scott said again.
“Sure it will.” Sarcasm dripped from my words. Not that I had a right to take out my fear and frustration on him. I immediately gave him my contrition. “Sorry.”
He frowned but nodded. When we reached the table, he pulled a chair out for me next to Terri, and when I sat down, he took the chair on my other side. All I could do was watch Stephanie.
“Hi, sis.” Terri nodded at Stephanie, obviously seeing where my gaze rested. “You remember Stephanie Robertson, right?”
Like I could ever forget.
“I thought you lived in California.” I was simply too nervous to make polite conversation.
“We did, but Eli and I moved back to Pottsville a few months ago.”
She looked the same. Even though her eyes were bloodshot from crying, they were still that dark, warm brown that had made me instantly like her the moment we’d met so long ago. Her short brown hair was mussed, as if she hadn’t even bothered to style it after she slept. Slim shoulders slumped in defeat, she had a few laugh lines fanning from her eyes. But she’d aged very well. I had to resist the strong urge to lean across the table to hug her.
Her gaze shifted to Eli. “I need you to know that I had no idea he’d do this. I was always honest about the adoption, but I never told him your name.”
“I didn’t figure you did. Probably that shyster of a lawyer we used.”
“I’m not sure how Eli found out.” She twisted a napkin in her hands. “He’s really resourceful.”
A weak smile crossed my lips. “I can tell.”
Eli pounded a fist on the table, making the glasses of water and orange juice jostle. “Quit talking about me like I’m not here.”
A teenaged waitress who’d been approaching the table slowed her steps. Warily eyeing my son, she put a glass of water in front of me. When her gaze settled on Scott, she smiled, showing a full set of gleaming braces with tiny pink rubber bands. She even batted her eyes. The outrageous flirt made me feel a thousand years old.
“Can I get you something?” she asked Scott. “Orange juice? Milk? Coffee?” Then she giggled, probably because she wanted to add the word me.
“Coffee,” I ordered even if she wasn’t paying attention. “Lots of coffee. And I need some sweetener. Lots of sweetener. The pink stuff if you have it.”
Scott didn’t take his eyes off me to even glance at the waitress, which made me very happy. “Coffee for me too.”
She frowned and walked away. She’d be better off flirting with Eli since he was a hell of a lot closer to her age.
“I wanna go to New York.” Eli’s announcement brought me crashing back to the ground like a skydiver whose parachute wouldn’t open. “I can stay with her.” He nodded my way.
“Excuse me?” I practically screeched. “How do you even know I live in New York?”
“I told him,” Terri replied. “He seemed to want to play twenty questions about you last night.”
I could only imagine all the embarrassing things Terri probably told him. Sisters always viewed their shared past differently, and she surely had a few awkward things to reveal. Pushing aside that concern, I addressed the more obvious problem. I leveled a disapproving frown at Eli. “Why do you want to visit me?”
“I should get to know you. You’re my mom, after all.”
A choked sob burst out of Stephanie, making my heart shatter. This woman had been Eli’s mom through all the important things from diapers to chicken pox to potty training to teenage angst. How dare he call me a title I hadn’t earned in front of the woman who had?
Terri dug around in her purse to pull out a tissue. She handed it to Stephanie and then scowled at Eli, who had the good sense to look contrite.
“How long would you visit?” Scott asked, clearly trying to find some boundaries for this ridiculous plan of Eli’s.
“I don’t wanna visit,” Eli replied. “I wanna live in New York.”
My voice rose. “You want to come to live with me? Are you insane?”
He narrowed his eyes. “You owe me.”
“Owe you?”
“Well, yeah. You gave me away and—”
Terri bravely stepped into the fray. “We talked about this last night, Eli. It wasn’t like that. She didn’t give you away. She was only seventeen.”
Stephanie also joined the fight. “Maddie gave you to your father and I because we wanted a baby so badly.”
He turned loose a mocking laugh. “Then Dad should’ve stuck around. He shouldn’t have fucking died.”
I gasped at that piece of news as Scott leaned in and narrowed his eyes at Eli. “We had this discussion yesterday, young man. I know you’re upset or you wouldn’t have just dropped a nuclear warhead like that. But I hear any more cursing around these ladies, and I’m taking Maddie out of here.”
Eli’s cheeks reddened, but I wasn’t sure if it was out of embarrassment or anger.
“Sean’s dead?” I asked. “Oh, my God. I’m so sorry.”
Stephanie’s gaze dropped to the glass of orange juice she shifted between her hands in place of the shredded napkin that now rested on her placemat. “He died almost a year ago. That’s why I moved home, back to Pottsville. It’s been hard on Eli.”
“Hard on me? It was hard on you! He was with his girlfriend when that fucking drunk driver—”
Scott’s chair scraped across the laminate floor as he pushed back from the table and stood. Then he pulled my chair back and nodded toward the door.
With a sheepish, “I’m sorry,” Eli picked up his glass and took a sip of juice.
Thank God, Scott sat back down. The guy was truly a man of his word, and he’d warned the kid. I dropped back on my chair, put my hand over Scott’s where it rested on the table, and mouthed a thank you. With a sigh, I turned my attention back to my son. “Eli, I’m sorry about your dad.”
He simply shrugged.
I addressed the most obvious problem. “You can’t come to New York with me. Don’t you have school?”
Stephanie shook her head. “He wouldn’t miss school. Eli’s getting homeschooled now.”
“Homeschooled? Are you a genius or something?” Will looking at those eyes that are exactly like mine always be so damned unsettling?
“Too smart for public schools,” he replied. “Already aced the SAT and ACT. Scores were good enough to get me any college I want.”
“Eli’s exceptional. He was having a hard time not getting…bored in school,” Stephanie added.
I wasn’t stupid—that translated into Eli got in trouble and they were going to kick him out. But what kind of trouble? And would any of it follow him to my home?
“Sean and I had been working on some advanced stuff with him. And then…” She glanced away, tears brimming her eyes as her teeth tugged on her bottom lip. The poor woman had probably cried a river in the last year.
Her world was clearly falling apart. I wasn’t sure if she needed an embrace or a Prozac. I tried to talk the kid out of doing something stupid and adding to her emotional burden. “You need to keep studying, not come to New York. How am I supposed to help you learn anything? I’m not a teacher.”
What was I supposed to do with a sixteen-year-old who didn’t even know me, one who was clearly full of rage and confusion? I didn’t know how to live with other people. I sure didn’t know how to care for a child. I could barely handle my own life.
Terri chimed in. “You don’t want another coulda-woulda-shoulda, Maddie. Let him come, but just for a short visit.”
Somehow I resisted the almost overwhelming urge to kick her under the table, and pointed out the obvious. “He said he didn’t want to visit. He wants to live with me forever.”
“Quit being melodramatic,” she retorted. “He’s sixteen. Forever lasts about a week in his world. Besides, maybe he could turn it into an educational trip.”
Nothing could have stopped me then. I kicked her. She kicked me back.
“Well, he could. You could take him all the places you took me when I visited. St. Patrick’s. Ground Zero. Ellis Island.”
“What about Mom and Daddy? I have to talk to them.” Just the thought of finally telling them about Eli made my stomach churn to the point I was afraid I’d be sick. After all of Mom’s cajoling about needing grandchildren to love, once she found out she’d had one and that I’d denied her the chance to watch him grow up, she’d hate me forever.
“I’ll handle that. Give yourself some space. And give Mom time to come to terms with this,” Terri replied.
Chickenshit that I was, I loved that solution. Yes, I’d have to face them eventually. I wasn’t ready. Not yet. Now, I needed to focus on my son.
Stephanie seemed to take to the idea of Eli going, which came as a surprise. Why would she want her son to spend time bonding with his birth mother? She’d always been adamant that I never meet Eli, telling me it might confuse him. Now she was handing him over to me like she wanted to wash her hands of him. “There’s a lot for him to do in New York,” she said. “I could even make some curriculum for him. History. Geography. He could learn a lot, and you could help him.”
Great. They were ganging up on me. I turned to Scott, hoping he’d have something to say that would discourage everyone’s meddling. For the first time since I met him, he let me down. “I don’t think a short visit would hurt. Might give you two a chance to get to know each other.” He looked over at Stephanie, his eyes full of sympathy. “And he might realize his mom isn’t all that bad.”
Eli bristled. “I never said she was bad.”
Like I’d let him get away with that kind of backtracking. “You told me she treated you like shit last night. What does she do that’s so awful you wanna run away to the big city to stay with someone you don’t even know? Why do you wanna hurt your mom like that?”
“You’re my mom.”
I gave serious consideration to reaching across the table and slapping his face. “How dare you? After everything your mother’s done for you, you’d say something that blatantly cruel? You should be ashamed of yourself.”
A tear spilled over Stephanie’s lashes to slide down her cheek. “I love you, Eli.”
He closed his eyes and sighed, but he never said anything to try to ease the wound he’d inflicted.
At that moment, I sure didn’t like my son.
Scott came to her defense, scowling at Eli. “Apologize. Now.”
“For what?” Eli asked with a scoff.
“For being a total jerk. Be a man. Apologize.”
The boy shoved his hands in his jacket pockets and slumped in his chair. “Fine. Sorry.”
I sat and watched them, having no idea how to deal with a teenager. Good God, I didn’t know a damned thing about kids. He’d grown up with Stephanie. She’d changed his diapers, nursed his hurts and knew everything about him. Yet she obviously couldn’t deal with him. Made me wonder exactly how much trouble the kid was in and what the true reason was she’d started homeschooling him.
They were clearly keeping secrets, and how was dragging him back to New York supposed to make this situation any better?
“Let him come, Maddie,” Scott said. “Give him a week. You two can get to know each other a little better. He can learn a few things about New York City.”
“And about life,” Terri added, looking furious and every bit as ready to pummel Eli as I’d felt.
A thousand excuses flew through my mind. I didn’t have any approaching deadlines, so I couldn’t plead work. Try as I might to come up with something reasonable, I had nothing.
“Fine,” I finally muttered, realizing I’d just started down a path I would probably live to regret.
Chapter Thirteen
After picking up Cleo from the kennel, it was well past midnight when we got back to my condo. Cleo seemed happy to be home as she repeatedly pawed at the door while I tried to get my stubborn lock open. Scott pulled her back and patted her head. S
he licked his hand in reply while Eli stared at her like he’d never seen a St. Bernard before. I almost warned him that the drool takes some getting used to. The door finally opened, and Cleo dragged Scott inside before he had a chance to hold her back.
At least I’d cleaned the place up before I left. Now that Eli was here, I didn’t want him to think it was a pigsty. At times, my condo looked like it might be featured in an episode of Hoarders because I had a hard time throwing things away, always wondering if I might need it sometime in the future. Since Scott was every bit as much a slob, I never tried to hide it from him. I just needed to put on a show for Eli.
The birds started chirping when we got inside and I flipped on lights. My neighbor had fed them, cleaned their cage and covered them at night while I was away. I peeked under the sheet covering them to check on their wellbeing. They were fat and sassy as ever and still more in love with each other than with me. After chirpingly scolding me for interrupting their rest, they settled back down when I let the sheet drop back into place.
Scott took off Cleo’s leash, and she bounded up on the couch where she knew she didn’t belong. I didn’t even scold her because Eli dropped his bag on the floor, sat next to her and started ruffling her fur and telling her she was a “pretty girl.” My dog fell in love with him as quickly as she had Scott. Shameless hussy.
“The couch lets out into a bed,” I said as I threw my own bag into my bedroom. “Sorry I don’t have two bedrooms. New York real estate prices suck.” I hadn’t really needed any more room when I bought the place. I had a good-sized bedroom, a great room sufficient for my big sofa, my bookshelves and my desk. Plus the kitchen had a place where I could pull up a couple of barstools and pretend it was a table. How could I ever have anticipated meeting the son I’d lost so long ago, let alone planned on him coming home with me?
Eli shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I can sleep anywhere. Literally.”
Scott strode over to window and pulled back the drape, probably getting a good view of Restaurant Row. “What do you think of the city?” he asked, turning back to my son.
