by Tawny Weber
And all of that, except the enemy fire part, sounded wildly exciting. But clearly not to her father.
“I know,” she agreed quietly. “He’s an elite warrior. But that’s the thing, Dad. He’s been through some of the most intensive training there is. On top of that, he’s smart and careful.”
“Is that enough for you? Will that be enough to tell your children when their father is always gone? Gone, and you can’t tell them where?”
No. No, no, no. It was all Sage could do not to press her hands over her ears. Enough with the children talk. She felt safer thinking about Aiden jumping out of an airplane under enemy fire into the ocean than she did thinking about herself raising kids. As flaky as everyone said she was? She was positive Aiden was definitely better at being a SEAL than she’d be at being a parent.
“Dad, that’s way, way in the future. Why don’t we just get through Aiden’s leave, our engagement? You know, celebrate now instead of worrying about tomorrow.” Her toes twitched with the need to hit the floor and scurry out of the room. But she managed to keep her smile calm and cheerful.
The name of the game was making her dad feel good, she reminded herself.
“I know you’d rather not think about the future, Sage. I’m not advising you make plans and act on them today. I’m simply suggesting you begin considering your future. Thinking about what you might like it to be.”
“I’m great at dreaming,” she assured him, leaning forward to pat his hand. “I’ll definitely be thinking about the what-ifs and possibilities.”
There.
A comforting sort of vow that promised nothing. Her specialty. One that had always worked wonderfully in the past in answer to everything from her travel plans to her college plans.
“Ah, yes, you are a dreamer,” he agreed with a smile of his own. Noting the look in his eyes, Sage sighed. She leaned back against the wall and waited. Lecture, life lesson or well-thought-out suggestion. One of them was heading her way. Or, since he was looking particularly chipper, probably all three.
“I suppose you’re spending a lot of time dreaming about your future right now,” he pondered, crossing one knee over the other and wrapping his hands around it with a look of contemplation. “Not wedding contemplation, although I understand that’s a normal preoccupation for young engaged women.”
“The wedding is a ways away,” Sage reminded him, flicking her fingers as if shooing the calendar off her radar. “And I’m hardly the big-traditional-wedding type, Dad. It’s more likely that we’d send you a plane ticket to meet us on a beach for a sunset ceremony at the last second.”
She’d be wearing a sarong, with white flowers in her hair. Aiden would probably insist on wearing his dress uniform, but she was hoping she could convince him to go barefoot with it. After all, the soft white sand would feel so good on his toes.
“Just give me twenty-four hours’ notice, more if the trip requires inoculations,” he advised with a warm smile. “And since you clearly have that figured out, why don’t we discuss what happens after the wedding.”
Oh, God. Sage’s stomach dove into her toes and her pancakes curdled. Please, no. Not a wedding night chat.
“Where will you spend your marriage?”
She squinted. This wasn’t another wedding night chat angle, was it?
“You’re not going to want to bounce from station to station, are you? Waiting around, unable to actually see your husband because he’s off on a covert operation or dangerous top-secret mission?”
“Sure, why not? It’s not like I’ll be twiddling my thumbs or staring forlorn out a window.” Seeing the concern on his face, she searched her mind for something that might settle his mind. Oh, she had it. “I’ve got plenty of things to do myself. Actually, I just got an offer to expand some of my blog posts into a series of articles. The publisher has suggested I become a regular columnist for not only their online, but three of their print publications.”
“That sounds like a big commitment for you.”
Which was why she agreed to no more than a test period. She figured if in four months she wasn’t bored, burned out or disenchanted, she’d take their offer.
“Still, what are the odds of marriage success between two people who see so little of each other?”
“I’m not a settle-in-suburbia kind of girl. If I had to live in a nine-to-five existence, I’d go crazy. So for two people like Aiden and me? I’d say the odds are pretty good.”
If they were really engaged and in love enough to get married, of course. She ignored the ache in her heart and tried a cheery smile.
“For the short term, maybe. But long term? Don’t you think you’d do better if the two of you moved back to Villa Rosa? Here, Aiden can finish his degree, teach at the university. He can finally do justice to that brilliant mind of his.”
“I don’t think that’s what he wants to do, though.”
“But married life isn’t about what each individual wants for him, or herself, dear. It’s about the whole. Society is built on compromise and the greater good.”
“You might want to let the politicians know that,” she said with a teasing smile.
When he didn’t smile back, she let her lips droop again.
So much for a distracting clever subject change.
“Aiden is a brilliant man. I’m sure he realizes that marriage requires changes. And he loves you, dear, so he’s going to want to ensure that those changes make you, both of you, happy.”
“Uh-huh.”
“He just needs to know what you want, so he can begin making it happen.” Her father paused, the look on his face pure avuncular pride. She had no idea what she’d done to earn it, but for the first time in her life, it scared the hell out of her.
“But what if that’s not what I want?” she asked quietly, terrified that she actually might. How could she want a settled, boring, average life after years of chasing adventure and bliss?
“Think about your future together, about children. There’s so much for the two of you to experience. Wouldn’t it be better if you experienced it together?” Her father paused, then patted her hand. “Just think about it, darling.”
“Of course,” Sage promised, setting her bowl down and pushing her laptop away. Suddenly she wasn’t so hungry. Or interested in writing a brilliant and fun article that might cement her future.
* * *
“DUDE, YOU’RE INSANE,” Gary panted, huffing as he tried to keep pace with Aiden.
“You didn’t have to come along.”
“Since you’ve spent the last week in bed with your fiancée, this was the first shot I had to talk to you. If I’d realized you were insane, I’d have waited until you were through.”
Not at all winded, Aiden easily laughed and slowed his pace to nudge Gary with his shoulder.
“I told you it was a ten-mile run. You said you do that three days a week. So what’s the problem?”
“I do it on the treadmill, in the air-conditioned gym, with the news on TV to distract me,” Gary muttered between huffs.
Aiden laughed again.
It was probably that week in bed Gary had mentioned, but Aiden couldn’t ever remember feeling this good.
Alive, energized.
Happy.
Running along a side road that was mostly dirt, while row after row of grapes lined up like good little soldiers in the fields beyond. Gold and green met the blue of the sky, a brilliant backdrop to a fabulous morning run.
He’d missed this.
He was relaxed here. For the first time, Aiden realized how much tension he always set aside when he came to Villa Rosa. Not because he didn’t have concerns or responsibilities, but because they were different here.
And the ones he had, they were shared.
By the town. By his friends. By Sag
e and the Professor.
This was the feeling, he realized, of being home.
Where he knew every tree and side road, not because he’d studied and memorized topographical maps, plotting attack and escape routes. But because he’d walked them hundreds of times. The people might not be his best friends, and he’d never count on most of them in a fight. But they all knew him, and he them. There was something comforting in that.
For a man who hadn’t been aware that he needed comfort, it was a weird feeling.
He shot a sideways glance at his running partner. He and Gary had played Little League together. They’d been in the same third-grade class, although Aiden had spent half of his time in the gifted program, and they’d been hard and fast recess buddies. There was a simple camaraderie here with someone he’d known most of his life. An easy acceptance.
His relationships with the other SEALs were tight. Beyond tight, given how hard they worked together, trained together. That they depended on each other for their lives. They were brothers-in-arms. Those relationships were unbreakable.
But they were short-term, too. Teams changed on a regular basis. New assignments, different missions.
“Dude, we gotta stop,” Gary panted.
“Why?”
Gary pointed to the little girl on the corner of a private vineyard. Set back a ways from the street, and in clear view of the house behind, she’d placed a slab of wood over two wine barrels and hung a sign.
“We need lemonade,” Gary huffed. “Desperately. Have to have it.”
“Drinking in the middle of a run isn’t a good idea.”
“That’s my niece. She’s saving up to buy a pony,” Gary said, nodding toward the little girl again. “C’mon. You can help a ten-year-old out, can’t you?”
What were a few potential cramps in the face of a ten-year-old and her pony?
A few minutes, two lemonades and a promise to visit said pony later, and Aiden was halfway in love.
“She’s a pistol,” he told Gary, watching the kid juggle lemons as a floor show.
“Yeah. She’s the image of Darla, my sister. But she’s got her dad’s personality. You ever imagine what your kid’s gonna be like? You? Or Sage?”
“Me or...”
Holy shit.
The idea of a kid—with Sage—suddenly terrified Aiden like no mission, terrorist threat or deadly night maneuver ever had.
“I’ve gotta finish my run,” Aiden said, tossing the cup in the little trash can and giving the pigtailed entrepreneur a smile. “You with me?”
Gary peered up the road, then eyed the house behind his niece. He hung his head and heaved a sigh before giving Aiden a rueful look.
“You kicked my, um, rear, buddy. I’m gonna go see what my sister has for breakfast. Want to join me?”
“I still have six miles to go.”
Gary shook his head, thumped Aiden on the back, then waved toward the road.
“Have at it.”
Aiden grinned, gave the little girl another smile, then had at it.
He was used to running with others. But there was a kind of peace that came with running alone.
Even if he did feel like he was being chased by Gary’s last question.
Him and Sage, having a kid.
What an image.
He didn’t know what was more preposterous.
The idea of his life including a kid.
Or of Sage settling down long enough for that to even come into question.
Not that having kids with her wouldn’t be fun.
He’d never thought about kids before. But now he grinned a little as he ran, wondering if they’d have his brains and her imagination. Her smile, and zest for life. A boy would be great, but a couple of girls would be fabulous, too.
Even more fun would be the making of said imaginary tots.
Just thinking about that kind of activity with Sage got his heart pumping and quickened his breath in a way that a ten-mile—hell, a fifty-mile—run couldn’t.
Especially now that he knew what it was like.
What she was like.
Tasty, imaginative and wild. With so much sweetness, a wicked laugh and a talent for whispering naughty suggestions at just the right time.
Images of their weekend together flashed through his mind, surged through his body. She was amazing. In bed, out of bed.
Just amazing.
Dammit.
Aiden stepped off the road to a patch of grass and dropped to the ground to do fifty push-ups. Gotta send the blood to other muscles. Since he was wearing a pair of navy issue loose gray sweatpants—without a cup—he didn’t figure a hard-on was a good accompaniment to his run.
One, two, three...
It didn’t matter how great the sex was.
That didn’t equate to a future.
Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two...
And as great as the dream was, he knew it was just that.
A dream.
Built on wishes and thin air, with as much substance as Sage’s attention span.
Needing to move, not willing to face the emotions crashing over him at the prospect of giving up a dream he had never admitted he had, he jumped to his feet and started running again. He watched the road in front of him, his running shoes slapping the pavement as if mocking his thoughts.
Here, now, alone in his own mind, he could admit the truth that he’d never share aloud.
He loved Sage. He always had.
He was pretty sure he always would.
She was his fantasy girl, his dream woman.
She was also flighty, flaky and emotional.
Hardly the type of woman who’d make a good military wife. Not that he was interested in a wife. He’d simply paid attention to his friends on the team. First Landon, then Sullivan. Now Lane. They were pairing up like they really believed they could beat the odds stacked against military marriages.
Since that’s what SEALs did, beat the odds, Aiden couldn’t fault them.
He just knew better than playing the game unless he figured he had as good of a shot.
And Sage? She wasn’t marriage material, let alone military-marriage material.
They had now. This crazy, ridiculous fake engagement that was so perfectly Sage. They had to live in the moment, as she’d say.
So he was going to live. And enjoy and revel and bask.
But a future?
A real one?
With Sage?
Not gonna happen.
10
“WHY ARE WE doing this again?” Aiden asked, his grumpy tone melting into the warm evening air.
Because she was in desperate need of a distraction?
Because she hadn’t been able to get her father’s words, or the terror they’d invoked, out of her head or her stomach for three days?
Because maybe an average evening of togetherness with friends would show her how boring this life would be, and she could stop fantasizing about her and Aiden, settling in for their very own happy-ever-after.
He probably didn’t want to know any of that, though. So Sage laughed instead, tucking her hand through Aiden’s arm and cuddling close as they walked up the path.
“Why are we doing what? Going to dinner at a friend’s house? Going together? Or wearing our own underwear instead of each other’s?”
“Please.” Aiden slanted her a chiding look. “Your thong is too small for me.”
“That’s because you’re sooo big,” she drawled, her tone as teasing as the look she gave him in return. He was so fun. She loved this side of him. The relaxed, mellow, not-off-to-fight-secret-battles side.
Maybe her dad was right. Maybe being in Villa Rosa was good for Aiden. Around friends, away from th
at constant stress and adrenaline overload.
“Seriously. Why the secret dinner plans?”
“Because Nina and her doctor eloped. Cailley and AnaMaria don’t think it’s fair that she missed out on all of the torture they disguise as engagement fun, so we’re here to plan a little post-marriage excitement.”
“That’s why you’re here. Why am I necessary?”
Since he’d frozen on the bottom porch step, Sage had every reason to believe he’d turn on his heel and leave her to go in alone.
For a woman who’d spent almost all of her adult life going her own way, and whose longest relationship had lasted less months than she had fingers on one hand, going in alone was the norm.
But for the first time, the idea of it made her miserable.
She just wasn’t sure if it was the idea of going in alone. Or going without Aiden.
Something to freak out about later, she decided. With all the other freak-outs she was already entertaining. It was getting to be a regular nerve-fest in her brain.
“We need you,” she told him with a wide-eyed look, hoping she came across as earnest. “Nina’s always been the one to plan these things. According to the other girls, she’s the expert and would recognize anything they tried to do. If we’re going to surprise her, we need strategy.”
“Surprise her with what? A girly shower? One of those underwear parties you women are always talking about?” He gave her a horrified look. “Nope, I’m out.”
“What if I promise you naughty sexual favors on the walk home?” she offered.
He gave her his uptight military look. The inscrutable one she figured they taught in SEAL school.
“Fine, I’m in.”
Delighted, Sage was still laughing when their host took their jackets. But it wasn’t until they were halfway through dessert that it hit her.
This was it.
She’d found her bliss.
Not the settled, suburbia image that her father had painted. That still scared the crap out of her.
But this, here...
Friends, laughter, and a deep feeling of contentment pouring through her. The company was great, and the warm comfort of being back home was always welcome.
