This was something he did not know, and he immediately felt remorse. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know that.”
She smiled briefly. “I wouldn’t expect you to.”
He glanced down at her, but she was still looking forward.
“When they died, I moved in with Ford and Isabel while I finished high school. Ford took me to some events, but it was too much, and I sold Duffy. I haven’t ridden since.”
“That’s too bad.”
She waved her hand in dismissal. “It was a long time ago.”
“Have you considered riding again?”
A silence descended as she considered his words. “Honestly, I hadn’t thought about it. Life goes on, you know?” When he nodded, she continued. “First there was college, then the career, then marriage followed by divorce... Now all this. I guess I’ve been too busy to think about what to do in my off-time.”
“You’re divorced?”
As soon as he spoke, he wanted to kick himself. In his efforts to speak with Jamie, he was bringing up every painful memory the woman had. No wonder she did not want to be near him.
Without looking at him, she nodded her head. “Yeah, a while ago now.”
He swallowed hard and gathered his courage. Change the subject quick, he thought, or this walk home with her will be your last walk home with her. There was a time when he never would have hesitated. He would have found it easy to talk to her and express his interest. The night he first met her, she had liked him. He left feeling confident that had she not have been engaged he would have gotten her number. But so much had changed since then. Now he was labeled a criminal.
Taking a deep breath, he took the plunge. “Now that I have a job, I’m going to need help caring for the boarders and training Tabasco so I can sell him. If you’re not too busy and may be interested, come on out.”
Bracing himself for the polite refusal, he held his breath. After meeting her family, he now understood where Jamie learned her graciousness, so he expected nothing less than a friendly but unequivocal snub. However, he was taken aback when she stopped and stared at him in open-mouthed surprise. He also stopped and stared as her dark eyes widened to the size of saucers, and he was instantly reminded of an excited child being granted a much coveted gift. While not what he expected, he had to admit that he was pleased. However, before he could relish the moment, her eagerness subsided and her tone became more suspicious.
“You want me to help you with your horses?”
“They’ve been pretty lazy lately.” He saw the uncertainty return to her eyes and immediately felt suspicion of his own. “Why?”
She shrugged, but he heard the hurt in her voice. “I didn’t think you liked me.”
Now that was unexpected. He could not have been more surprised if she had reached out and slapped him across the face. Without another word, Jamie turned the corner onto the side street and crossed the gravel in the front yard of a modest ranch house. He watched her for a moment and then began to follow, still stunned. She reached into the pocket of her shorts and pulled her keys free before looking over her shoulder for him, and his steps quickened until he caught up to her standing by her darkened front door. “Why would you think that?”
“For obvious reasons, I guess.” She reached out and patted his arm lightly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s no big deal.”
“No, I’m glad that you did,” he said firmly. “Jamie, there are many things that I may think of you, but I can tell you right now dislike is not one of them.”
A hint of a smile appeared on her lips. “I’m not sure how to take that.”
He could feel the color in his cheeks rise uncomfortably. They were burning, and he hoped the darkness hid it well. “Take it any way you like. Just know that I don’t dislike you at all.”
He wondered if the desperation he was feeling was apparent in his voice, for she suddenly smiled up at him. “I’ll see what kind of schedule I can come up with this week and let you know.” When he nodded, she tilted her head in the direction of the house. “Would you like to come in for a minute?”
Her continued show of trust pleased him more than her invitation, but he decided not to push his luck any more that evening. Shaking his head, he took a step back in the direction of the street. “Thanks, but I should get back to my truck.”
She nodded her dark head and pushed open the door, greeting both of them with a blast of cool air. It felt good after the hot walk to her house. Air conditioning was one of the things he would never take for granted again.
“Maybe next time,” she said as she stepped inside. Once she flipped on the outside lights, she turned around and again smiled at him. This time her smile was less timid, and he decided right then that he liked seeing her like that. “I’ll let you know as soon as possible. Sometimes I do home appointments for work, so I have to check what days I’m free.”
Nodding, he was about to turn away when she reached out and laid a hand against his cheek. Her palm was warm and feather soft. Despite his eagerness to feel her touch, he could not help but flinch, and when Jamie noticed her hand fell back to her side. “Drive safely, Andrew,” she said softly.
“Enjoy your evening,” he said in return.
Backing away slowly, he raised a hand to say goodbye. She responded in turn, calling out to him one last time before he reached the end of her driveway. “If I can’t make it any evenings this week, how about Saturday morning?”
Andrew stopped walking and turned around, wondering how it was possible that Jamie had no inkling how badly he wanted her company. “Anytime you want, Jamie.”
She nodded and disappeared back inside, but not before he saw her happy smile. As the door closed and the lock set, he heard her muffled whoop. It was not until he reached the corner to turn back onto the main road that he realized something had definitely changed.
He was actually grinning.
***
Despite the scowl sent her way, Jamie continued whistling when Andrew joined her in the barn three Saturdays later. This was her third time rising before dawn and making the drive out to Grandma’s Apache Junction home on her day off. Instead of lamenting the loss of extra sleep after a long week, she actually looked forward to seeing the horses. Getting back in the saddle again after so many long years was cathartic.
This was her eighth trip out since Andrew had first mentioned it to her, and their uneasy truce had developed into a cautious friendship. She was growing more accustomed to his moods, and he was slowly learning to open up to her. After her first visit she realized what Ford had deduced that first evening. Andrew had a patient and gentle way with the horses, showing no aggression or anger when a command was not followed. Or when she did something stupid, she thought with a wry smile.
Though she still had yet to hear Andrew’s laughter, she thought she had caught a glimpse of a smile one day earlier that week. She had not tightened the girth properly on Bruno’s saddle and landed on her backside in the dirt at the old horse’s hooves. Once Andrew was sure she was okay, he came over and straightened the saddle. His lips were compressed tightly as if holding the smile in, but he glanced over at her as she regained her feet and brushed off her rump.
“Amateur.”
His gentle teasing was so unexpected that Jamie laughed out loud. “I try,” she said lightly.
He was still staring at her as she finished brushing herself off, and when she looked up she saw that the corners of his mouth had deepened considerably. For the first time, Jamie felt as though she had made some progress with him. She mounted up gracefully the second time and sent him a saucy, triumphant grin.
He shook his head in return. “I was beginning to worry about you.”
“I do know how to ride,” she declared. “It’s just been a very long time.”
“Well let’s see what you’ve got, Champ,” he challenged in return.
She had shown him, and she had proven herself so well that this was to be their first ride off the p
roperty. Andrew had suggested an easy trail ride along the base of the mountain earlier that week, and she had jumped at the chance. Though he was scowling this morning he still seemed eager, for he arrived in the barn with a cooler under his arm.
“Linda packed us some food,” he said in explanation.
Jamie’s brows rose. “She did? Is the ride that long?”
“Depends on the weather,” he said with a shrug. “If it gets too hot we can turn around any time.”
Judging by the eighty-something degree temperature at the moment and the clear star-filled sky, Jamie suspected it would top the century mark by late morning. Despite her concern, Andrew seemed unaffected. He grabbed Tabasco’s lead and went to collect him where he dozed under the lean-to across the pen. After running him through some games in the round pen to loosen him up, Andrew led him back in where Jamie was brushing out Bruno. She was still whistling under her breath.
“You’re very chipper this morning,” he said shortly.
“And you’re very grouchy.”
“Yep,” was his reply.
“Everything okay?”
“Yep.”
She briefly considered questioning him more but had learned enough about his personality to realize that he would not elaborate unless it was something she needed to know. With his back squarely toward her, it was obvious that this was not one of those things. Though feeling a bit stung, she did her best to ignore him and continued tacking up Bruno. She did not whistle again.
Giving the old chestnut a light rub on the neck, Jamie led him past Andrew into the yard. Holding the reins in one hand, she reached inside the open window of her car and pulled out the bottled water she had brought. She tucked them into the insulated saddle bag she had tied on the back of the saddle and then scratched Bruno’s ears while she waited for Andrew to appear.
The sun was just starting to rise behind the mountain, and it gave the intimidating cliffs a purplish hue. She found Venus in the early morning sky, a bright light of happiness and stability. No matter what mood Andrew was in, she was happy to be out here and eager for their ride.
“Are you coming or not?”
She was so lost in staring up at the sky that she did not see him approach, but she heard his short command. His head was still lowered, so Jamie could not judge his expression with the hat that hid his face. She frowned but did as she was told, mounting the old quarter horse and steering him to the gate. Pouting at his back, she followed as he led Tabasco through the gate before latching it behind them. As soon as it closed, Bruno’s ears perked in excitement. She could tell it had been a while since he had left the yard.
Before she could comment, the old horse let out a whinny to which Rojo answered immediately. The others trotted to the side of the pen and watched as Andrew mounted up and guided Tabasco into the lead.
“We’ll head east until we hit the Forest Service trail. Then we’ll go north for a bit.”
The path was too narrow for them to ride side by side, though Jamie doubted Andrew even wanted that at the moment. He was in deep concentration, focused solely on Tabasco, who was jittery and skittish. Jamie remained respectfully silent and attended to Bruno. The older horse had again whinnied to express his reluctance to leave his herd.
After a few minutes of steady riding, Bruno calmed. The house was not in immediate sight anymore and the trail had grown increasingly rocky. Jamie was enthralled at the wild desert around her. Old and overgrown mesquite trees, with branches dangling down to the ground, provided the perfect den for slumbering coyotes. Aloe plants and cholla cactus grew to either side of the trail, mingled in with the neverending sea of brittlebrush. The monsoon season had brought out the green of the desert, and an almost-emerald carpet of life surrounded them on either side.
The repetitive calls of a family of quails met their ears moments before they shot out on the path in front of Tabasco. He startled briefly, but Andrew quickly got him back under control. The skittish reaction reminded Jamie to focus, and she returned her attention to Andrew. Though he was far more skilled a rider than she was and less likely to get hurt, she did not mind watching his broad, t-shirt clad back even if he was acting sullen. For such a large and well-toned man, he sat in the saddle with the same stealthy grace that he moved with on the ground. Jamie had to admit that she was no more immune to it now than she was when she first met him. She just wished he felt the same draw of attraction as she did. Actually, she wished he could feel anything at all.
At the entry to the trail, Andrew pulled up Tabasco and waited for her. His eyes were still shielded behind his hat, but his voice was less clipped when he spoke. “How are you doing?”
“Oh we’re fine,” she said. She reached out and stroked Bruno’s neck. He was not even warm yet.
“Good.” He nodded. “I’ve been thinking of a change in plans, if you’re up for it.”
“Depends on what it is,” she responded lightly. Inside though, she was crossing both her fingers and toes in the hopes he would not suggest they turn back.
“Instead of heading north toward the state park, I’m thinking of going south instead.”
“Okay then.”
“It’s more secluded that way. I doubt we’ll see any hikers on the trail.”
She sensed the unspoken challenge and test of trust in his cautious words, but she refused to flinch. Her days of suspicion had passed long ago. “That’s not such a bad thing, is it?”
“Not at all. We’re less likely to spook Tabasco.”
Of course it was not that he wanted to be alone with her, she thought mutinously. She raised her chin. “Let’s go.”
The path had opened up a little now that they were off the game trail, so Jamie steered Bruno alongside Andrew when he waved her up. Riding side by side was more enjoyable for her, even though Andrew remained silent. Although he was not feeling talkative, she did notice that he kept a close eye on her. She felt his stare every so often, and he pointed to loose rock areas for her to be careful guiding Bruno through. After another half hour of this spotty talk, she finally reached behind her to the saddlebag.
“Would you like some water?”
“I should finish my coffee. That’ll wake me up.”
She unscrewed the cap to her water bottle and took a deep drink, aware that he was watching her as her head tilted back. When she finished drinking, she replaced the cap and met his stare.
“It’s still cold. You sure you don’t want one?”
Her words seemed to shake him from his reverie. He shook his head briefly and reached for his travel mug. “I really better finish this so I can become more human. I didn’t offer you this trail ride to ignore you the entire time.”
It’s about time, she fumed, but she hid her irritation behind an indulgent smile. “Don’t worry about it. I like the quiet.”
She lied in an effort to appease him the way he tried to appease her. Instinctively, she understood that this was his way of apologizing for his moody behavior, which in her opinion was a step in the right direction.
She watched him as he downed his remaining coffee. “Did you sleep at all last night?”
He shrugged. “No more than any other night.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
Not knowing what else to say, she adjusted her baseball cap on her head and settled back in her saddle to enjoy the ride. Andrew did the same until they made yet another turn onto a rock strewn double path. Instead of following the base of the mountain, this time they were heading back toward one of the steep, overgrown, brush-filled canyons. There were no trails marked into that canyon, and she felt a moment of hesitation again.
“This is an old wagon trail,” he commented as he pointed out the two wheel furrows. “It’s grown in a lot in the last hundred or so years, but you can still see where the mules pulled the wagon.”
She looked at the path with new eyes. “I wouldn’t want to be that mule.”
“I wouldn’t want to be the m
iner who had to bring them up there. There’s no water, and it’s pretty rough,” Andrew agreed.
“Where does this lead?”
“It’s a surprise,” he answered. He glanced over at her to judge her reaction. When she smiled, he swept an arm out to indicate around him. “Just watch how the landscape changes. Back there was all brittlebrush. Up here the growth is much thicker and dense.”
“You know, now that you mention it… The canyon must run-off something fierce after a good rain storm.”
He nodded. “I’ve seen bobcats and a mountain lion or two in this area. I think they prefer the denser vegetation.”
“And the bunnies,” she said, pointing to yet another rabbit hopping out of their way. Bruno flicked an ear as it shot past.
They watched it go for a few moments. Then Jamie turned back to him. “How often do you come up here?”
He paused as though considering her answer, but after several long moments of silence she began to wonder if he had no intentions of answering her. Assuming it was just another mood swing, she returned her attention to the scenery when his voice reached her ears again.
“My brother, Adam, and I used to come back here all the time. This is my first trip since… The trail we just came up on wasn’t built when I was a kid.”
Grandma had told her about Adam’s betrayal and Andrew’s resulting despair. She decided to keep it light. “How did you get through if there was no trail?”
He shrugged again. “We made our own.”
She chuckled as she imagined two boys wielding machetes. While it was a bit over the top, it was definitely a possibility.
“What? You don’t believe me?” He asked in response to her laughter.
“Actually, I do believe you. That’s what made me laugh.”
“Do I want to know?”
“Probably not,” she replied.
That earned her another intent stare, but she merely smiled. “Remember, I grew up with four brothers. I know what you boys do.”
“Having met your family, I’m sensing a bit of unfair bias,” he muttered.
“With them, anything’s possible,” she agreed with a grin.
If We Dare to Dream Page 17
