by M. Clarke
“Josh,” I breathed, my body quivering, my sex throbbing, all of me needing release. Lowering my hand, I reached for his hardness—no trouble finding him. As I began to stroke it, he rocked against my palm, moaning. Oh God! I could listen to that sound all day and stare at his face, relaxed in ecstasy.
“Isla,” he panted, rocking faster, devouring my lips. “We shouldn’t, but I don’t want to stop.”
“Don’t stop.” I yanked at his jeans, stressing my point.
Josh pushed my hand away, lifted my skirt to expose my G-string, and made circles on my clit with his thumb, rubbing faster and faster. Oh God. The area around my sex spasmed, and I was beyond wet and ready for him. I yelped and curled my toes when something icy cold spread over my most sensitive spot. Again, Josh had dabbed ice cream there. Oh fuck. Ice cream and Josh. Ice cream would never be the same for me again.
I cried out when he sucked my clit, taking in the ice cream and me. Then I cried out louder when he slid one finger inside me. I reached for his tattooed, ripped arms and trailed my fingers up to lace through his hair.
“Oh Josh. Josh. Josh,” I moaned. With each rapid thrust his name became a whisper, and I became lost into the moment. Completely undone by his touch, all my rational thoughts flew out the window. Worry that what we were doing was wrong didn’t cross my mind any longer. I wanted him. He wanted me. Only that mattered.
“Come for me, Isla,” Josh growled. A predatory, alpha male sound I never heard from him before vibrated through me, heating my veins. And I wanted to hear more masculine, domineering demands from him.
As he thrust his finger inside me and growled naughty words, I lost it. I let loose, letting him break me, take me, undo me.
“Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.” I shuddered as I panted, out of breath and dizzy from the pleasure. Then he collided on top of me. His chest rose and fell as fast as mine, and hot breath rushed out of him, his cock still hard in my hand.
“That…was…amazing,” I murmured softly, lacing my fingers through his hair. So often I played this scenario in my mind, except Josh was inside me, not his finger. I had expected him to take me to his room or fuck me on the sofa, but he didn’t. It surpassed my expectation.
Josh stayed quiet for a bit. Then he sat up, running his hands through his hair and scrubbing them over his face, unable to meet my eyes. That became my clue to close my shirt and pull down my skirt. I stiffened.
“I’m sorry, Isla. I’ll get you a new shirt.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s just a shirt.” My muscles eased. Was that why he looked so intense?
“I really like you, but I’m not able to give you what you want.” He jolted up and finally looked at me. “Maybe I can in time, but I don’t want you to wait. I may never be ready. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done what I did.” He dipped his head. “Your friendship means a lot to me, even though I didn’t show that by kissing you. I’m not sure what to do from here.”
What just happened? His words felt like a slap on my face, but I told myself he was right to stop my heart from ripping apart. Guilt seeped in, and a wall that wasn’t there before started to form. I felt ashamed. The beautiful moment we shared seemed so wrong. I guessed we shouldn’t have done what we did, especially since we were roommates, but it was too late. We had crossed the line. But it could be fixed, right? At the same time, I couldn’t forget and ignore how amazing he made me feel. Until the man I wanted had crushed the thought of us as a couple that flourished in our intimate moment. Reality set back in. Why couldn’t he let me in? I didn’t understand. But I had to give him space, his privacy, and let him figure it out.
“I understand. Let’s pretend it never happened, and we’ll start a new day tomorrow. Sound like a plan?” I tried to sound chipper, but my heart felt like a stone. Though those weren’t the words I wanted to say, they were the right words to say. I tried to remain strong. I didn’t want him to see the tears that would fall behind my closed bedroom door.
Josh dropped to the sofa, embraced me, and whispered tenderly. “I really care about you, Isla. I wish I was the right man for you, but I’m not. I’m an excellent friend but a terrible boyfriend. Tomorrow is a new day.” He kissed my forehead tenderly and left, leaving me utterly baffled.
Chapter 3
Josh
What the fuck was I thinking? Actually I wasn’t thinking. Snuggling in the dimness as Isla fed me ice cream had turned me on. She felt so warm and perfect pressed to me, and the scent of her perfume, sweet and alluring, had me dizzy in her spell. I wanted her as soon as I entered the door. Seeing Shelly with a baby that could possibly be mine set me on fire, but as soon as I saw Isla, my worries subsided enough to allow air to enter my lungs.
Since Isla moved in, I’d been eating better. Of course I gave in return by taking her out to eat. I wasn’t a selfish bastard, and I wasn’t about to take advantage of her. For a while, I suspected Isla had feelings for me, and I for her, but both of us kept the feeling locked away. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship if things went wrong. But I realized there was a great chance of something happening, even between friends, when you play house.
Isla and I often said things husbands and wives would say to each other: Good night, dear. Honey, I’m home. Love you. Don’t forget to pick up milk. The words flew naturally and we laughed it off, but deep in the recesses of my mind, I wondered what it could be like if we did date.
But…but…but…we had crossed the line. I might have started to cross over first, but Isla encouraged it. And damn, she felt and tasted amazing. Fuck! I was going to want more of her. Control yourself, Josh. I had been doing well so far. I just had to continue, especially since I had to find out if Shelly’s baby was mine. And if so, Isla might not want anything to do with me.
Regret rippled through me. I shouldn’t have kissed her, but when her bright green eyes filled with lust, and she lowered her gaze to my lips as she licked hers, I gave in to temptation. I’d forgotten about Shelly until it was over. Then reality flooded back. I had to get my life straightened out before I even attempted to have a relationship with Isla. She deserved the best of me, not the worst.
After I took a freezing shower, I got ready for bed and debated whether to say something to Isla. We’d agreed to pretend nothing happened, and if I didn’t say good night to her like I did every night, she would feel like shit. I knew I would. So I opened the door and shot my eyes open wide.
“Isla. I was just about to come see you.”
Her raised fist, ready to knock on the door, dropped while her eyes lingered on my bare chest. “Josh. I—I—you were about to come see me?” She smoothly changed the subject.
When I raked my hair back, her eyes landed on my biceps. Her longing-filled eyes had me so close to giving in to my desire and taking her in my room. Closing my eyes to contain my lust, I inhaled a deep breath to shut out my thoughts and my dick wanting what it shouldn’t. What I couldn’t have.
But shit, Isla. Did she have to look so damn hot in her night outfit—shorts and a T-shirt? She crossed her arms, to hide her nipples under the thin shirt, no doubt. But that didn’t stop me from envisioning the beautiful breasts I saw, touched, and tasted. Oh hell, I imagined my mouth on them as she stood before me. Her disheveled auburn hair—wild and full—contrasted with her face, looking innocent with no makeup.
I arched my eyebrows, loosening up, trying to get us back to the way we were. “Yes, I was, but why don’t you tell me why you’re here first?” I gave her my goofy grin—lips twisted, tongue slightly poking out, and eyes crossed.
She smacked my arm and let out a delicious, contagious laugh. When her laughter died, my heart died a little too because I couldn’t have her, at least not yet.
“I came to say good night. Since we’re starting over, I thought we keep things…you know…normal,” she said hesitantly, her eyes darting to the door, to my bare chest again, swallowing, and then to her perfect, manicured feet.
“I’m glad you came.”
&nbs
p; Her eyes shot to mine. “You are?”
“Of course I am. I was on my way to your room to say good night.”
“Oh. Okay. That’s good. Thanks. I mean. Good night.” She stumbled over her words.
Oh hell. I made it that way. She didn’t sound like my friend Isla but rather a broken and confused Isla.
“Good night, honey.” I played along. “Do I get a hug?” I thought to ease the tension between us, but as soon as she wrapped her arms around me, I tightened with the tension of unfulfilled pleasure.
Isla’s touch burned through my skin, and her body molding to mine unraveled me. Her lavender shampoo filled my nostrils, and I wanted to take her to bed and make love to her all night. We stayed entangled longer than we should have, frozen in time and space. Then Isla pulled away, leaving me cold and empty.
Running her hands through her auburn locks, she forgot to cover her chest. Oh fuck me! Her T-shirt clung to her breasts, teasing what I could no longer touch or taste. She gasped and crossed her arms again when my dirty eyes reminded her.
“Anyway. I’m going to see my brother tomorrow, and I’m going to spend the weekend with his family, so I’ll see you whenever.”
Why did that feel like a punch to my gut? It shouldn’t. She had done that two weekends before. “Sure. Have fun.”
“You got any plans?” Her long eyelashes fluttered, curious.
“I’m having dinner with Nathan tomorrow, but not much.”
She nodded and took several steps back. “Okay. Have a great weekend.” Then she turned and walked away.
“You too.” I stared at her fine ass and her long legs until she disappeared out of my sight. Inhaling a deep breath, I went back to bed with my laptop to distract me.
I checked my email first and clicked on the one from Knight Fashion from Matthew Knight.
Email: The Sexiest Model contest will start in one week. Josh, Logan, and Carter will enter from Knight Fashion. List for Kauai shoot in two weeks: Nathan, Josh, Logan, Carter, Olivia, Mia, Avery, and Isla. Itinerary will be sent with another email along with plane ticket and hotel information.
I double checked the names again and read Isla’s name three times. The list put a smile on my face except for seeing Logan on the list. For some reason, we clashed. And I didn’t particularly like the way he flirted with Isla. Logan’s relentless chase of Isla had bothered me from the get-go. He wasn’t good enough for her. I wasn’t good enough for her. She deserved the best. She deserved everything a good life had to offer.
After I closed the email, I went to Instagram and Facebook to Isla’s pages. Pictures of her and Olivia got a lot of likes, but pictures of Isla and me, especially the one we took when we went to my parent’s cabin to couple trap Nathan and Olivia, got triple the likes and comments on how hot we looked together. I smiled, recalling how much fun we had together planning Nathan and Olivia’s matchmaking.
Isla’s friendship meant more to me than anything. I kept reminding myself that. If only my dick would listen.
Chapter 4
Isla
My brother, Ivan, lived about forty minutes from Josh’s place, but it took me more than an hour. The horrendous traffic was no better than New York City, and the lack of sleep the night before didn’t help my mood. Things looked up when I arrived.
“Auntie Isla,” my nieces cheered, jumping up and down, their joy infectious.
I made them giggle by wiggling in a silly dance. “Hanna. Hailey.” I hugged them both and then moved on to my brother and my sister-in-law, Kathy.
“I didn’t know you could dance like that.” Ivan snorted, bringing my bags inside.
“Oh, hush it.” I would have told him to fuck off, but the innocent faces staring at me adoringly tamed my dirty mouth.
“Ivan, leave your sister alone,” Kathy drawled, leading me to the sofa in the family room.
Kathy yelped and jolted up when Ivan smacked her ass. “Fine. I’ll bother you.” He chuckled.
“Ivan.” Kathy wiggled her eyebrows playfully, a promise of something later. I didn’t want my mind to go there, especially after what happened with Josh and me. The weekend was meant to help me clear my thoughts of him and give us the space we needed to cool down—at least I needed that, anyway.
My nieces were the luckiest girls. Next to the living room was a separate room filled with toys, dolls, board games, a playhouse, and shelves packed with books.
“Did the room get smaller?” I teased.
Hanna, the oldest, cocked a four-year-old eyebrow at me, standing by the archway between the two rooms ready to go back to whatever she was doing before I arrived.
“Auntie Isla. We don’t have that many toys,” she stated like a fact. “And rooms can’t grow or shrink.”
Hailey, the two-year-old shook her head, standing beside her sister with her jaw hanging open like I had extra arms. “No. It’s the same.”
“Smarty pants.” I giggled and leaned into the back of the sofa. “I got you something,” I sang. “But after dinner.”
The girls’ eyes lit up, and their lips curled.
“You don’t have to get them something every time you come.” Kathy narrowed her eyes, plopping on the sofa across from me. “They have plenty of toys, as you can see. Besides, the room is getting smaller.”
Hanna threw up her hands. “The room can’t get smaller.” Then she sauntered to the playroom, Hailey trailing behind her.
Being the good brother he was, Ivan handed me a mug of tea and sat beside Kathy. “So, what’s new since two weeks ago?”
I kind of had sex with Josh. I want Josh. Get married to Josh. Have kids with him, and live a happily ever after like you and Kathy. “Nothing new.” I paused. “Wait. I have good news. I got an email this morning from my new boss. Well, not new. I’ve worked with him before. You know how my career is. Nothing is steady.”
I frowned when my brother made a rolling motion with his hand, telling me to get to the point. He did it to tease me, but it annoyed the hell out of me. I reached behind my back and tossed the sofa pillow at him. He caught it, chuckling, and I continued.
“Anyway, I get to go to Hawaii. I’m going to be in the Knight Fashion summer catalog.”
“Wow. That’s awesome.” Kathy’s eyes rounded in excitement.
“My baby sister sporting a bikini for a magazine. Who would have thought this shy little girl would end up being a model?”
Kathy lightly smacked Ivan’s arm. “Shy? Isla doesn’t seem like the shy type.”
I grabbed the other sofa pillow and hugged it like a security blanket. “I was very shy. For the longest time, I had social anxiety. I dealt with it by pushing myself to do things that scared me. One time I raised my hand in class and volunteered to do my speech first even though I wanted to vomit. It helped me ease into my English class in ninth grade.”
Kathy nodded in understanding. “I think we all have some degree of social anxiety.”
“True,” I said.
“Except for me.” Ivan’s brown eyes gleamed as his lips twisted to a smirk. He looked more like my father the older he got, especially when he made that expression. Ivan had the same stunning face as my father—deep-set eyes, perfect nose, thin lips, and chiseled jaw. Even his sleek, black hair reminded me of my father’s. I, on the other hand, replicated my mom with auburn hair and green eyes.
“That’s because you’re too arrogant,” I threw in playfully.
Ivan shifted and patted the pillow I had tossed at him. “So you’re going to Hawaii.”
“I’m so jealous.” Kathy sighed, gazing at the painting on the mantel of the beach and palm trees.
Ivan wrapped his arm around Kathy’s shoulder. “We’ll go in three years when Hailey is old enough to appreciate it. She’s too young. She’ll need to take a nap, and though the flight isn’t that long, it’ll still be hard on her. I don’t want to give her unneeded stress.”
“I know,” Kathy surrendered, her tone dipping lower. “So when are you going and to which is
land?”
I took a sip of my tea and crossed my legs. “In about two weeks. And we’re going to the big island.”
“FBI,” Ivan grunted.
Kathy turned sideways and gawked at Ivan as if he’d gone insane. “What are you saying?”
I let out an unattractive laugh, and my brother snorted. Kathy stared at us with her lips parted and then joined in.
“What’s so funny?” Hanna stormed out of the playroom with a Star Wars light saber I had bought for them. Hailey followed, waving hers too.
“Your dad thinks he’s an FBI agent, I think?” Kathy furrowed her brow in confusion.
Hanna and Hailey released a cute sound like an unsure laugh and slipped back to their playing.
“You’re getting it all wrong.” Ivan rubbed his face. “FBI stands for From Big Island. Get it?”
Kathy belted out a laugh, finally understanding. “You’re so silly. That’s why I love you.” She leaned in and kissed my brother’s lips.
Their affection for each other melted my heart. I wished I had that with someone special. Sighing, I sipped my tea. My mind reeled back to the day before when Josh and I sat on the sofa with ice cream, and the things he did with the ice cream. Oh God, I almost felt his lips on mine, his hands on my body, and his tongue licking ice cream off me.
“So, how’s Josh?” my brother asked.
I almost snorted tea out of my nose. “Who? I mean, oh Josh. My roommate Josh.” Damn it. My brother could read me so well.
Ivan lifted his eyebrows so high I thought they would peel off his forehead. “Yes. That Josh. Your roommate Josh. Unless there are other Joshes I don’t know about. Do I need to have a talk with this Josh?”
Stop being so protective. “No. Stop it.”
“Stop what? I didn’t do anything.”
My lips puckered while my eyes challenged him playfully, letting him know he didn’t need to worry. “Anyway. I’m excited to go. Nathan and Olivia will be there, and so will Josh.” Saying Josh’s name did not come easy. I had to force it out of me. Shit! That was what I wanted to avoid, that uneasy churning in my stomach every time I thought of him.
