by M. Clarke
“What did Josh do?” Isla cut in. Her smile, wider than a second ago and too gorgeous for her own good, sent waves of desire through me.
“Josh is always up to something,” Logan added.
Mia to my right, having had way too much to drink, rested her head on my shoulder. “Josh has a reputation of being the hot, bad boy model no one can have,” she announced.
“Do I?” I snickered.
Mia’s hand ran down my arm. “Every girl talks about the forbidden Josh. They love your tattooed arms, and they’re curious to see where it ends. And so am I.”
I furrowed my brow. “Really?” Our conversation had taken an interesting turn. Isla stiffened, glaring at Mia so hard that if Isla could, she would have lit Mia on fire. Unlike Isla, but I smiled at the jealous reaction.
Mia cupped my face, bringing me closer to hers. Eyes to eyes, nose-to-nose, lips-to-lips. “Would you like to show me more?”
“Mia,” Avery scolded, tugging Mia’s hands away from my face. “You’re making a fool of yourself. You’ve had enough fun. Let’s get you to your room.”
“Oh, let her be.” Logan chuckled. “She’s just having fun. Besides, I don’t think Josh minds a pretty girl all over him.”
I do mind if it’s not the right one, idiot. I’m not a man whore.
Carter slammed his glass down for emphasis after he finished his last gulp and came around to gather Mia. “That’s enough, Mia,” he said, sounding like a father. “Avery, I’ll help you.”
“Who’s Shelly?” Avery pointed at my cell phone vibrating on the table.
Shit! My face burned from guilt. I took my phone and shoved it in my back pocket. “You read it wrong,” I snapped.
“Hiding someone are you, Josh?” Logan twitched his lips to a grin. “It’s okay. We all have secrets.”
“I’m not hiding anyone, Logan. Besides, it’s none of your damn business,” I spat. My fists rounded into balls ready to fly across the table and punch his face, or better yet, beat the shit out of him.
Nathan yanked my shirt from the back, causing my ass to sit back down.
“Whoa.” Logan raised his hands to surrender. “Josh, I’m just messing with you. What’s your problem?”
My eyes met Isla’s stunned, hurt eyes. I hadn’t intended for her to find out about Shelly that way, even though there was nothing going on between us. How could I have been so stupid? I had forgotten we were three hours behind and thought Shelly wouldn’t text me a picture of Emma sleeping. Regardless, Isla suspected something. Since Shelly’s name came out of the bag … hell, I had no idea what to do. What did Isla think? I hoped she believed me. But what did I say that night we made out? Fuck! I couldn’t remember.
Isla blinked and swallowed. “I think I’m going to call it a night.”
“Isla,” I said without thinking. “I need to talk to you.”
Her stone cold eyes locked on mine. “Not tonight. I’m tired. Good night everyone. Logan, can you walk me to my room?”
“Of course. It’ll be my pleasure.” Logan got out of his seat and laid some bills on the table. That’s for Isla and me.”
Isla walked away with Logan by her side, his group trailing behind him. When Logan draped his arm around Isla’s shoulders, she leaned into him. Had I pushed her away that much? I had to admit my heart stung when she sat next to Logan instead of me, but I had no idea she was interested in him. Perhaps I had been blind? Maybe the universe sent me a sign to stay away from Isla. First I found I out I had a child, and then Isla cozied up to Logan. Fuck me!
“Hey.” Nathan’s voice shook me out of my daze. “Are you okay?”
I hadn’t realized I had been watching Isla walk away for that long.
“What’s going on, Josh?” Olivia asked, concern in her tone.
I looked at Nathan and then Olivia and then from Olivia to Nathan. “Nothing. I have no idea what just happened.”
Olivia exchanged glances with Nathan. I swear they were communicating through their minds. Nathan gestured his head to the pool. Olivia nodded and left. When I registered what had happened, I started to say, “You don’t—”
I gasped as Nathan gripped my collar on either side and forced my ass down on my seat. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Stunned from the way Nathan spoke to me, I opened my mouth to speak, but I became speechless. “What the hell is wrong with you?” echoed out of my mouth. “I—I don’t know.” I slumped into my chair and rested my head on my fist.
“I get it.” Nathan patted my back. “You want to peel Logan off Isla, but dude, that’s what you get for letting her go. You let her go the second you told her you wanted to be friends. You opened the door for Logan. If that’s what you want, then suck it up and be happy for her. If you want Isla, then tell her.”
I let out a long sigh. Embarrassment, and some other emotion I couldn’t explain, bundled together. “I need to tell her about Emma first. She might not want to have anything to do with me after she finds out.”
Nathan looked behind his shoulder to check on Olivia. “I don’t know Isla that well, but if she loves you, she won’t care. She’ll find a way to make things work. If Olivia told me she had a child when she came back to LA, I would’ve found a way to make it work. Having a child shouldn’t be a burden. It should be a celebration to bring two people together.”
I scrubbed my face and snorted, not because it was a laughing matter, but because it seemed logical when Nathan said it. “You’re right.”
Nathan arched his eyebrows in confusion and then understood. “Nobody wants to get hurt, Josh. I was scared too. I didn’t know if Olivia wanted me back, but if I never tried, we might not be together right now. And if you don’t give Isla a chance, then that decision will fall on you, not her. You’ll regret it if another man wins her heart when you could’ve been the one. Don’t be a could-have-been.”
“Having a child shouldn’t hinder us,” I said, rewording Nathan’s speech. “It should bring us together. Make us stronger.” I paused to admire a family in the pool. The children were around the ages between five and eight. I wanted that too someday with Isla. I turned back to Nathan and asked, “You and Olivia planning?”
Nathan shrugged, and his eyes lit up. “After we get married, we’re planning for a baby. We want a family soon. We want to be young parents.” He gave me a light punch. “Besides, I need to catch up with you. Our kids need to be similar in age so we can play sports against each other and do things together.”
“I guess you need to have a daughter first,” I pointed out, poking his chest.
He poked me back harder. “And you need to decide what to do with Isla before she shuts the door.”
My shoulders dropped, and the heavy brick wall over my chest closed back up. “I know.” My words released from my mouth with a heavy thump. “Soon.”
“We good?” Nathan asked, giving me a manly pat.
I smiled at him, thankful for his genuine friendship. “We’re good. Now stop flirting with me and get back to your woman before she kicks my ass.”
Nathan shook his head with a chuckle. “See you in the morning for breakfast.”
“Yes, boss.” I saluted and dashed out of the pool area, entered through the double glass sliding doors, passed the long hallway with beautiful paintings of the island, rode up the elevator, and finally stopped at Isla’s door.
I knocked without any idea of what I would say. From the heart. That was the best way. I’d start from the beginning like how Nathan did with Olivia. A great plan, only I was nervous as fuck, and my heart jumped to my throat … and she didn’t answer the door.
“Isla? Are you awake? Can we talk?” After long seconds I texted her, but she didn’t answer. Placing my head to rest on the door, I released a long, disappointed sigh.
It was going to be an awkward day tomorrow. Before I went back to my room, I texted.
Me: I’m sorry. I need to explain.
Chapter 13
Isla
Pain
ripped through me. Fire scorched my heart with the realization I could be right about Shelly. Shelly meant something to Josh. Josh’s tone made it clear he didn’t want us to know that part of his life. That part of his life he didn’t like to share with any of us. And more than anything, pushing me away hurt like hell. Of course I could be wrong about Shelly, but he would have blurted out she was a friend instead of getting pissed off at Logan.
It’s fine. People come and go in our lives. Perhaps Josh would be one of those people in my life instead of a permanent one. Maybe Logan could be my permanent. He was everything a girl could want—handsome, successful, respected in the modeling world—and he was a perfect gentleman, giving me all his attention. What more could I ask for? Only … he wasn’t Josh.
Perhaps with a little more time, Logan and I could have something special. Since I didn’t want to lead him on, I had told him I wanted to take things slow between us—one date at a time. It was all I could offer him. My heart, even after Josh broke it, still belonged to him. I needed time to detach. I would start in the morning, a fresh new start for myself.
A soft knock brought me back from drifting off to slumber. A book rested on my chest. I had dozed off reading. Placing the book on the bed, I got up to answer the door but decided to peek through the hole. Josh stood with his hands pressed to the door.
“Isla? Are you awake? Can we talk?”
I stiffened and froze. I didn’t know what to do. Then I jerked when my phone buzzed into the quiet of the night. A text perhaps from Josh? My mind and heart struggled. Open the door. No. Josh shut you out. He deserves to be shut out too. But he wanted to talk. Talk about what? Shelly? I didn’t think I could handle his confession. Tired from a long day and already feeling like shit, I didn’t want to add another layer. I needed my sleep for the big shoot the next day…if I could sleep at all. So I decided not to answer.
Another buzz rang from my cell. Josh must have texted me again. Oh, Josh. Just go away. There’s nothing you can say to make this better. The happy four musketeers were over. It was good while it lasted, but life moved on, and so would I.
A light thump alerted me to look through the peephole again. Josh had his forehead pressed to the door with his hands unmoved. Placing my forehead and my hands on the door, matching where Josh had placed his, I took a deep breath, my heart splitting more with hurt. A part of me wanted to melt through the door and be in his arms, but I snapped back to reality. Josh had clearly stated what he wanted, and I had to respect his decision: I really care about you, Isla. I wish I was the right man for you, but I’m not. I’m an excellent friend, but a terrible boyfriend. With conviction and resolve, my heart breaking into a thousand parts, and tears stinging my eyes, I whispered, “Goodbye, my friend.”
The next morning I texted Olivia that I would see her at the shoot. I didn’t want my foul mood to rub off on her, so I told her everything was fine. Having breakfast in bed gave me the solitude I needed to prepare myself for a new day with a new attitude. But the guard I had placed over my heart crumbled the second I saw Josh. Damn him!
Josh, being comfortable with his body, had his robe off. Of course. His toned chest gleamed against the sunlight, his beautiful tattoos standing out. Sporting the Knight Fashion men’s swimsuit and sunglasses, he looked like a masterpiece displayed. The black trunks he wore had KF initials and their logo of the city on the left side. Nathan wore blue, Carter green, and Logan white. If we were pairing up regarding color coordination, Logan was my partner.
The shoot hadn’t started yet, and girls swarmed around the men, asking for their autographs. Carter seemed more interested in males surrounding Olivia, Mia, and Avery. I frowned at the girl caressing Josh’s arm as he signed the T-shirt she wore. Get a hold of yourself. Girls surrounding Josh never bothered me before. What happened to the pep talk I had this morning about having a better attitude? I scolded myself. Turning the other cheek, I went straight to the shoot manager.
“Brianna. Hi,” I greeted, adjusting my Knight Fashion robe and sunglasses.
Brianna turned her back to the cast and the lighting crew and embraced me warmly. I sank into her. God, I needed that hug. I wanted her arms to give me the strength I needed to face Josh.
“Isla, honey. Good to see you.” She dropped one arm and held the other one around my shoulder. “I love it here. The people are friendly and accommodating to our needs.”
“I love it here too,” I agreed. The pristine beach took my breath away, but it was difficult to enjoy its beauty when my heart buried itself in the sand. “Where are we shooting?”
“Right there.” Brianna pointed behind her to the area I hadn’t glanced yet. A massive canopy covered the white sand, and yellow tape bordered the do-not-cross area for the fans.
“Perfect,” I said gazing into the tempting blue water. Perhaps I would jump in after the shoot. I was already dressed for it.
“Can you let everyone know it’s time?” she asked, blinking as the rising sun reflected in her eyes.
“Sure.” I waved to Olivia and the girls and pointed to the white canopy.
Olivia gave me the thumbs up, and then got the men’s attention. As I strolled ahead by myself, listening to the sound of my flip-flops against the sand, another noise echoed behind me.
“Good morning.” Logan seemed slightly out of breath, matching his stride to mine. He ran to catch up to me. “Did you sleep well?”
“Hey, Logan. Yes. I did.” I smiled. “Thanks for asking. How about you?”
“Not as well as I hoped. I’m not normally this jet-lagged, but maybe it’s from the excitement.”
I shrugged, enjoying the warmth from the sun while the cool breeze brushed away the heat. “Maybe.”
“What do you say about breaking away from our friends this evening and having dinner, just the two of us?”
I stole a quick glance behind me. Josh lagged behind the others, holding his robe in his hand, as he watched the people having fun in the water. Nathan and Olivia held hands, smiling and conversing.
“We had dinner plans, but let me see what’s going on. Can I let you know after I talk to Olivia?”
“Sure. When do you plan to leave Hawaii? I’m staying for another week.”
“Oh. That’s great.” My lips dipped lower. “I’m actually leaving on Sunday night.”
His head lowered, and his eyebrows slanted. When he twisted his lips into a pout, I smiled at his attempt. “I’m so sad. But we have the nights after the shoot tomorrow and Saturday.”
“True.” We stopped our conversation when we reached our destination.
Under the canopy, we found a table and four stools, with beach chairs situated toward the back. Off to the side, an open chest held ice and drinks. On the other end, the makeup crew waited for us at a table spread with foundation, eye shadows, blushes, lipstick, hairspray, makeup brushes, and some tools I had never seen before.
“You must be Isla.” A girl with sandy blonde hair gestured for me to sit on the stool. “I’m Maria, and you’re first on my list.”
“Hi, Maria.” I adjusted myself on the stool and glanced over to Olivia, doing the same as me. I assumed Olivia and I were first since Avery and Mia sat on the beach chairs waiting. “I’m all yours. Do your magic.”
“That’s what I want to hear.” After she pulled my hair away from my face and pinned it, she started to apply foundation on my cheek.
“Whoa.” I placed out my hand. “How do you know if that color will match my skin? You haven’t tested it yet.”
Maria patted my shoulder. “Don’t worry, Isla. I have all your makeup records. Have a little faith in me.”
I cringed and dropped my shoulders. “Sorry.”
“No worries.”
The makeup sponge smeared with liquid foundation felt cool on my skin.
“I may look young, Isla, but I have many years under me,” Maria went on. “Besides, Knight Fashion only hires highly qualified cosmetologists, so you’re in good hands.”
“I d
on’t doubt that,” I stated, feeling horrified I might have offended her, but my uneasiness dissolved as she continued to do her thing, and I took off my robe.
After about thirty minutes, Maria had produced a miracle. I hardly recognized myself. Though my hair rose puffier than I would have liked, and my makeup darker and thicker, Knight Fashion went for a bold, modern look. And bold and modern I was. To match my white bikini with gold trim, Maria had highlighted the area around my eyes and hair with gold glitter. Even my lipstick sparkled with gold.
“Isla, darling.” Brianna stopped in her tracks to look at me. “You look stunning. Gorgeous. I knew you would do that outfit justice.” She handed me a box. “Here. Put these on.”
I took a pair of gold, spiked heels out of the box and carefully slipped them on. These pumps made my legs look even longer, but they weren’t easy to walk in over sand.
“Models, get to your spots,” Tom, the photographer announced over the blow horn. He wore shorts that looked like the Knight Fashion trunks and a T-shirt. Handsome in his own right, he could have passed for one of the models.
A wolf whistle from the crowd caught my attention as I stepped out of the canopy that had been closed off to the fans. Nathan, Olivia, and Logan trailed behind me. Logan gave me a once-over and grinned from ear to ear.
“You look beautiful,” Logan said.
“So do you,” I complimented back.
Nathan and Olivia looked heavenly. Olivia’s bikini was similar to mine except hers matched Nathan’s blue. She too had gold stripes across the front, and her eyes and face spun with gold glitter too. The fans had to stay behind the yellow tape, but some caught snapshots of us as we settled on our marks. We hadn’t started the shoot, and already fans acted crazy.
“I voted for you, Logan. You’re the sexiest model alive,” a fan yelled.
“I voted for you too,” another female fan shouted.
“I heard you don’t have a girlfriend. I’m free,” a softer voice bellowed.
Logan smiled shyly after that comment but said nothing in return. Instead his eyes shot to mine, and he said, “I can change that status if you help me.” He winked.
