by Deja King
"And you shouldn't have to. Yeah, Carmelo and I weren't friends, but you and I are. I want to be here for you." Tierra gently grabbed Nichelle's hand and held it until they got out of the car to go inside the church where the funeral was being held.
When they entered the church, it was jammed packed. Nichelle recognized a few familiar faces from around the way, but mostly everyone else seemed to be strangers. Carmelo had kept Nichelle so isolated from his business and never talked much about his family, that it wasn't until this moment Nichelle realized how much she didn't know about his life. Tierra found a seat for them near the back of the church, as the service had already started, and they didn't want to attract attention to themselves.
After the reverend finished giving a beautiful sermon, a young girl, who looked to be no more than eleven, stood up and sang a song. Midway through, the little girl broke down and cried and ran to a woman wearing a black sable fur coat.
"I hate funerals," Tierra grumbled, trying not to tear up over how distraught the young girl seemed to be.
The reverend then stood back up and said a few more words before everybody stood up to go pay their last respects.
"At least Carmelo was able to have an open casket," Nichelle said as she stood up to go view his body. "Will you walk with me?" She looked over at Tierra who was still sitting down.
"Of course."
When Nichelle got to the casket, she paused for a moment prior to going forward. She wanted to gain her composure before seeing Carmelo's dead body. When she stood over him, he looked so peaceful, as if he was sleeping. She kissed her two fingers and placed them on top of Carmelo's lips. "I'll never stop loving you, baby. My heart will always belong to you." A single tear rolled down her face. She headed towards the exit door, knowing that was the last time she would ever see or touch the man she loved more than anything in this world again.
"Tierra, wait up," they heard someone call out as they were walking to Nichelle's car. They both turned around to see who it was.
"Renny, hey, I'm surprised to see you here."
"Yeah, I wanted to pay my respects."
"You knew Carmelo?" Nichelle asked softly.
"I had met him recently through Marley. We were all doing some business together."
"I guess that means you knew Radric too."
"Yes, he was one of my closest friends."
"I'm so sorry for you loss."
"I'm sorry for yours too. You were Carmelo's girlfriend, right? I think I saw you a couple of times with him."
"Yes."
"I know how difficult it must be to lose a loved one. I'll keep you in my prayers."
"Thank you, I truly appreciate that," Nichelle muttered, not wanting to shed more tears.
"Tierra," Renny said, turning his attention to her. "I was surprised I didn't see you at Radric's funeral yesterday."
"I don't like funerals. The only reason I came to this one was to support Nichelle."
"I'm sure you'll be going to Simone's though, right?"
"Of course, she was a very close friend of mine."
"I'm not going to hold you ladies up anymore, but Nichelle," Renny reached out and took her hand. "Please take care of yourself."
"I'll try."
"Come on, Nichelle, we need to go." Tierra pulled Nichelle's arm away, thinking Renny was holding on to her hand way too long.
Renny stood and watched Tierra and Nichelle get in the car. He could tell how vulnerable Nichelle was, and that this would be the time to make his move. But, he also reasoned that he would have to be very careful with his approach. She was a young lady in a great deal of pain, so being too aggressive would push her away. He wasn't worried though. He was a master at manipulation, and he would figure out a way to win Nichelle over.
Nichelle stood with the key in the lock for a minute before opening the door. Part of her felt like she was doing too much in one day. First the funeral, now walking into the home she shared with Carmelo. I can do this, she thought to herself and opened the door.
When she set foot in the entrance, she was flooded with memories. She thought about how Carmelo let her pick out all the furniture and decorate the place how she wanted. She looked over at the glass fireplace, and thought about the numerous times they made love in front of it.
Instead of being sad, Nichelle actually felt a sense of happiness being back in the place where they shared so many wonderful memories. She walked over to her favorite picture of the two of them. It was from their trip to the Bahamas. It was the very first time Nichelle had ever been out of the State of New York. Until that day, she didn't even know water that blue or sand so white existed. Staring at that photo, for the first time since his death, Nichelle was able to smile. But then, just as quickly thinking about his death turned her smile into a frown.
"I hated saying goodbye to Carmelo, but I'm glad that funeral is over with. Being in that church with all those strangers and unable to grieve the way I wanted to, made me feel like I was about to suffocate."
"I know what you mean. I'm dreading going to Simone's funeral. It's depressing. I want to remember all the good times we shared together, not that she's gone. I don't believe Simone would want us mourning for her. If anything, she would want us to party."
"Yeah, Simone always loved a good party."
"How do you feel being back here?" Tierra asked, quickly changing the subject, not wanting to dwell on how hard she was taking Simone's death.
"A lot better than I thought I would. Nothing is going to bring Carmelo back, but being here lets me feel his presence, if that makes any sense."
"I'm not the sentimental type, but it actually makes a lot of sense. Does that mean you're going to continue to live here even though he's gone?"
"Wow that is something to think about. I know I can't afford to pay any of the bills. Hell, even if I could, I wouldn't know how or who to pay the bills to."
"Maybe you should take whatever you want to keep, and then sell the rest. Put the money you make away and move back in with your mom until you decide what you wanna do. It's a suggestion. I mean it would be hard for anybody to walk away from a crib this fly, but the cost to maintain it has to be ridiculously high. You don't need that type of stress."
"You're right about that."
"You don't have to make any decisions right away, but at least you have an option."
Knock... knock... knock
"Who could that be?" Nichelle wondered out loud when she heard the knocking at the front door.
"The only way you gon' find out is to open the door, because I definitely don't have a clue."
Nichelle looked through the peephole, but whoever was out there wasn't standing within her view. "Who is it?" she asked.
"Carmelo's people," a man replied.
Nichelle reluctantly opened the door, yet interested to see who his so-called people were. Tierra walked up behind Nichelle, carrying her purse. There was a knife inside, and Tierra was ready to use it if anything jumped off.
When Nichelle opened the door, there was a man and woman standing next to each other.
"How can I help you?"
"You're Nichelle, correct?" the woman asked with anger in her voice.
"Yes, and who are you?"
"I'm Carmelo's wife, and this is my brother."
Nichelle's heart dropped, and she tipped back as if about to fall, but Tierra held her up so she wouldn't lose her balance.
After Nichelle regained her composure, Tierra stepped forward, wanting to be seen. She didn't want the man and woman to think Nichelle was alone and they could bum rush her. "You must be mistaken, because Carmelo wasn't married. He's my boyfriend-I mean was my boyfriend-before he got killed."
"No, sweetie, you were his mistress, because I'm his wife!" she said, flinging her hand with the wedding ring on it. Nichelle covered her mouth, trying to stop the quivering of her lips.
"I don't give a damn if you was or wasn't Carmelo's wife, because he ain't wit' us no more anyway. So what in the
hell do you want?" Tierra yelled, not giving a damn who she was, but pissed that she was upsetting Nichelle so much.
While Tierra and the woman bickered back and forth, Nichelle stared at her intently. She remembered the woman from the funeral. She was still wearing the black sable fur coat. "Was that Carmelo's daughter who was singing at the funeral?"
Everybody went silent, and all eyes were on Nichelle. Tierra could see the tears building up in Nichelle's eyes, and her heart broke for her.
"Yes, it was. We have two kids together; a son and a daughter."
"I had no idea," Nichelle disclosed, turning her head away.
"Yeah, but obviously married or not, you knew about Nichelle, because you came looking for her. She damn sure wasn't looking for you!" Tierra spit.
"Listen-"
"No, you listen!" Tierra jumped in, cutting her off. "Clearly you wanted Nichelle to know you were married to Carmelo, so mission accomplished. Now, you can leave."
"I ain't done accomplishing all my shit. I want you out my crib," the woman turned to Nichelle and said.
"Excuse me! This is the home I shared with Carmelo. It isn't your crib."
"When are you young, silly girls gon' learn. Whose name do you think this place was in? He was a drug dealer, for heavens sake! You think he can put an expensive ass condo in his name? No, this shit is in any name. Look at the papers." The woman practically shoved them down Nichelle's throat. "It says `Lynette Clayton', that's me. So I need you to get your shit and get out!"
"She ain't leaving tonight. She needs time to get her stuff together. I mean this has been her home with your husband for how many months now? You wanna throw around words like `young' and `silly', but who's really the clown in this situation? You know that your husband is laying up with a teenager every fuckin' night, taking care of her while you stuck at home taking care of his kids. This crib might be in your name, but the same shit he was buying you, trust, he was lacing her wit' too.
And see, I had a daddy that was married to my mother, but unlike you he lived in the house wit' us. He was also a drug dealer, hustling dope making serious paper. But when he got killed, my mother couldn't afford to maintain that lifestyle that he had given us, so we ended up back in the projects. And I guarantee you, so will you and your kids. So don't come around here actin' like you better than somebody `cause you got a ring on your finger."
"That's enough!" her brother barked, seeing that his sister was visibly shaking with the lashing Tierra was giving her.
"You have forty-eight hours to get out my home, or next time, I'll bring the police and they'll put you out."
"Mrs. Clayton, you must not be from New York. If you were, you would know the housing laws. See, Nichelle gets mail here and has been a resident for over thirty days. You can't just throw her out of shit. There's a legal procedure you have to go through. . .you feel me?"
You could see the fire steaming from the woman's head, and it made Tierra's smile get wider and wider.
"I'll be out by tomorrow."
"Nichelle, fuck this bitch! You don't have to rush and leave."
"I want to leave. Now excuse me, I need for you to go ... now!" Nichelle didn't wait for a response, she just slammed the door in Lynette and her brother's face.
"You better than me. I would stay up in this motherfucker until I was dragged out just to spite that bitch."
"It ain't even worth it. He was married and had kids with another woman. I mean, did I even know this man?" Nichelle sat down on the couch, shaking her head out of frustration and heartache.
"You know that he loved you."
"Did he really? Can someone really love you and deceive you like that?"
"You know I was neva a fan of Carmelo's, but I will say this. That nigga loved you. And don't you let his bitter wife or anybody else convince you otherwise. I have been around the block a few times, and ain't no nigga ever treated me half as good as Carmelo treated you. He wasn't doing it either, because you were some trick. He did it out of love."
"But why didn't he tell me he was married with kids?"
"You ain't gon' ever understand why men do some of the shit they do. And trust, I'm not condoning what Carmelo did, but a nigga has always, and will always continue to do fucked up shit and break a woman's heart. That's why I ain't got one. But, baby girl, you one of the lucky ones. You found real love. It may have ended up being somewhat tainted, but it don't change the fact that the shit was real."
"In my heart I feel the same way, but finding out about his wife and kids makes some things confusing."
"What things?"
"When I was at the hospital, the doctor told me I was eight weeks pregnant. I had no idea. But when I first found out, I wanted to keep our baby."
"What about now?"
"I still do. I can't imagine killing the child growing inside of me. It's Carmelo's baby. I would be able to forever have a part of him, even though he's no longer with me."
"Nichelle, the thought of that is beautiful, but with a baby comes a lot of responsibility. You haven't even graduated from high school yet. Then you have to find a way to financially take care of the baby. Do you really want your son or daughter to grow up in the projects like we did?"
"I'll find a way to make it work. This baby is my attachment to Carmelo. I won't let that go...I can't."
~i~ylr>yr~~~P,
There is no escaping karma when you do dirt. Payback will surly find you. Unfortunately, you never know when, where or from whom that retaliation will come from. At the very moment you believe you have escaped from having to answer for the misfortune you've caused another, that is when you meet your demise.
Nichelle took one last look at the place she had called home for what now seemed like a lifetime. She had left everything, from the furniture to the paintings on the walls. The only thing she was leaving with was her personal belongings and a few pictures of her and Carmelo.
"Girl, you crazy for leaving all this shit instead of selling it. You know that bitter ass Lynette gon' turn around and do exactly that, then pocket all the money. I wouldn't let that bitch get shit, especially for how she came at you on some real disrespectful shit."
"She can have it. They are only material things. The stuff that really matters, I'm taking with me."
"You need to stop with all that being saintly shit. You got a child to think about now, and how you gon' feed him or her."
"Tierra, I'm far from a saint, and I'm not tryna' be one. All I want to do is move on with my life. Selling shit and battling with Carmelo's wife isn't gonna bring him back or make my situation any less painful."
"Whatever!" Tierra rolled her eyes. "But when that belly start poking out and reality kick in, don't say I didn't tell you that you should've unloaded this shit like you a booster."
What Tierra was saying did make a lot of sense to Nichelle. She would need money to take care of her child, and a lot of it. But what Tierra didn't understand was that Nichelle was too emotionally drained and depressed to go to combat with anyone. The only reason she forced herself to get out of bed, eat and take minimal care of herself was because she knew that the seed growing inside her needed that to survive.
"Come on, let's go. I'm done here." Before Nichelle walked out, she glanced around the condo before placing her key on the kitchen counter. But this time, there would be no tearful goodbye or regrets. She was closing the door on that part of her life she shared with Carmelo, and focusing on the future life that they created.
Lynette was on her third shot of Patron, impatiently waiting for the person she was supposed to be meeting. She eyed her watch, becoming heated, realizing he was more than an hour late. "Fuck that!" she hissed, slamming the glass down after gulping down her fourth shot. "This nigga ain't showing up. I can't believe he wasted my time." She left some money to cover her bill and decided to break out.
"Leaving so soon?"
"I've been waiting here for over an hour! What the fuck took you so long?"
"Have a seat and
calm down. You're embarrassing yourself and me."
Lynette did what he said, mainly because the effect of the alcohol was taking its toll on her. If she didn't sit down, there was a very good chance she would fall and bust her ass. "I'm calm. Now, did you bring me my money?" Lynette cut to the chase, because it was all about the dollar for her.
"I got it, but I need details first."
"What you wanna know?"
"For one, how did Nichelle take the news?"
"How the fuck you think she gon' take it? A woman shows up at your door telling you that the man you were playing house with and in love with is actually married. I don't give a fuck who you are, that news ain't gon' sit well with nobody."
"Did you tell her to get out of his crib because the shit is in your name?"
"Of course! That shit is true, even though I ain't thinking about that condo or who's living in it."
"I know you didn't say that shit?"
"Of course not. I kept to the script, although I was ready to take off my boot and beat her friend's ass. That bitch had the nerve to try and school me on my marriage."
"You must be talking about Tierra," he smiled, imagining Tierra cutting up. "Did Nichelle agree to leave?"
"Yep, she said she would be out today. I don't know how true that is and I really don't care. I'm ready to take my ass back to Houston, and as soon as you give me my money, that's what I'm gonna do."
"Entertain my curiosity for one second, then I'll give you your money and you're free to go."
"What is it?"
"It doesn't bother you the slightest that your husband was in a serious relationship with another woman and living with her?"
"Listen, my marriage with Carmelo had been over. I wasn't a bit more married to him than I am to that stranger sitting over there in that corner. By the time he got serious with that girl, we were married in name only. Our relationship was nothing more than a convenient business arrangement at that point. But neither of us felt the need to get a divorce, because I wasn't stopping him from doing what he wanted to do, and he wasn't stopping me from doing the same."
