The Color of Grace

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The Color of Grace Page 25

by Linda Kage


  “Let me guess. You don’t want to leave Southeast at all and would like to transfer back to us?”

  He hadn’t wanted to see me return to Hillsburg, pleading I was good for his daughter.

  I smiled and shook my head. “It’s my mom.”

  His teasing grin dropped flat, reminding me how he’d confessed to having a crush on her years ago.

  “I’m worried about her.”

  He stepped closer. “How so?”

  “I don’t think she wanted to move on with her life after my dad died. But these past couple of years, I started pressuring her about going out more and meeting new men. I just didn’t want her to be alone after I started college.”

  “Well, that’s understandable.”

  “But what if she hurried to find someone to marry because of me, just to make me happy? And now that he turned out to be totally evil, what if she’s all man-shy now, and it’s my fault?”

  “No, Grace. Nothing is your fault.”

  I pressed my fingers to my temples. “I just think…if I could only get Mom through this hard time, then everything will be okay again. But I know it’s going to bother her forever and she’ll refuse to get herself help and—” Sighing, I stared up at him, my eyes pleading. “Do you think you could talk to her? Like you talked to me?”

  Her jerked back, horror filling his gaze. “Me?”

  I nodded, puckering my bottom lip just a bit to add to my begging gaze. “My mom is suffering through some major guilt issues. She’s all worried she has destroyed my entire life by bringing him into it, as if I’ll never be able to trust another man again. But there were signs, a certain intuition that he wasn’t as good as he made himself out to be. And I just ignored them. So now I’m convinced that if I only pay attention and listen to my gut, I’ll be able to judge people better. I’m not so sure my mom has the same confidence though. Barry’s pretty much the first guy she brought home since my dad died.”

  He shook his head, backing a step away from me. “Grace, I don’t think I’m the person you need. I mean, I…I…I’m awful with adults. That’s why I work with teens. I don’t—”

  “Grace?”

  At Mom’s voice, both Mr. Howard and I leapt guiltily apart and turned to face her as she approached us with a leery scowl directed the counselor’s way. He and I exchanged glances, mine saying, See what I mean? She doesn’t trust any adult male anymore.

  He gave a regretful sigh, which told me he was going to give in to my request, but didn’t want to. At all.

  He forced a tense-looking smile. “Hello again, Mrs. Indigo.” Then his eyes flared. “I mean—” He choked, looking stuck as he realized her name was still Struder until the divorce was finalized.

  “Indigo’s fine,” both Mom and I answered together.

  Shoulders settling, he gave a relieved smile and nodded.

  When Mom didn’t answer his greeting but hovered even closer to me as if she wanted to snatch me away from a potential threat, I cleared my throat. “Mom, did you meet Mr. Howard when you enrolled me into Southeast? He’s the school counselor.”

  “Oh.” Mom visibly relaxed and even offered a fake smile. “That’s right. I’m sorry. I don’t know where my brain is.”

  “Quite all right,” Mr. Howard murmured, though he glanced down at his shoe as if he didn’t want anyone to see how her forgetfulness hurt him in any way.

  “Actually,” I jumped in, wanting to make the poor man feel better in some way, “Mr. Howard told me he went to high school with you and Dad.”

  Eyes widening, the school counselor speared me a look that told me he’d like to strangle me. But Mom perked to attention, squinting, as she inspected him closer.

  “Howard.” She repeated the name until finally her face lit with recognition. “Matthew Howard,” she finally exclaimed. “You’re Matthew Howard.”

  His chest expanded as he smiled and nodded.

  “Yes, I remember you, Matthew. I’m so sorry.” Relaxing even more, Mom ventured from my side to take his hands. “You came to Daniel’s funeral. With your wife and daughter, right?”

  Mr. Howard’s smile faltered a hitch before he answered, “Yes. That’s right. And I still have the daughter.” He motioned behind us.

  Mom and I turned together to spot Ryder still chatting with Laina. Ryder glanced my way as if to check and make sure he still needed to distract her while I spoke to the counselor. But when he saw us staring, he led Laina our way.

  “Laina’s in the same grade as Grace,” Mr. Howard explained, his face glowing with pride as his daughter approached.

  Mom nodded. “She looks a lot like you.”

  Beaming again, Mr. Howard glanced at me before he sobered. After clearing his throat, he said, “I don’t know if Grace told you, but she talked to me about…about…”

  “That jerk I married?” Mom muttered.

  The counselor winced. “Yeah. Him. And I was…well, I was wondering if I could, uh, speak to you for a quick minute.”

  “Yes, of course.” Mom jumped forward, eager to help me any way she could.

  As Mr. Howard led her off to another corner, Ryder and Laina finally reached me.

  “Everything all right?” Ryder asked.

  Grasping his hand and needing his support, I chewed on my lip as I watched Mr. Howard talk and my mom repeatedly nod. After a second, they both paused and glanced at me before he began talking again.

  Then Mom nodded and actually hugged him. For a moment, he looked stunned but finally hugged her back. As she pulled away and started toward me, she smiled even as she wiped at her eyes. Behind her back, Mr. Howard met my gaze, gave an iffy grin and then flashed me a thumbs up.

  I breathed out a breath and finally looked up at Ryder. “Yeah. I think everything’s going to be just fine.”

  His green eyes sparkled as he smiled. “Good, because I just found out some great news.” Motioning toward Laina, he said, “I showed Alaina your photographs, and guess what?”

  I crinkled my brow, curious about the grin he flashed. “What?”

  “It’s her glove.”

  Pulling back, I dropped my mouth open. “Huh?”

  After digging into her pocket, Laina tugged out the lost glove’s mysterious mate. “I lost it a few weeks ago. My hands have been freezing ever since.”

  “Oh, my God.” After digging into my own coat pocket, I pulled out my half of the glove set I’d been carrying around with me.

  After slowly handing it over, I watched Laina’s face light with pleasure while she tugged both gloves onto her hands as if she needed to try them on just then to reassure herself they had been reunited.

  Glancing toward Ryder, I felt tears gather in my throat. I had no idea why I wanted to cry. I was so happy that stupid glove had finally found its owner, and even happier its owner was Laina. The moment simply felt too heavy and emotional for me not to cry.

  As if reading every funky feeling I possessed, Ryder opened his arms. I flew toward him and hugged him hard. His warmth enveloped me until I empathized with the glove, knowing I had also just found my way home again after being lost in a cold, miserable winter.

  Epilogue

  I’m never one, distinct color but a dichotomy of dark and bright. The hues follow me, reflecting my mood, displaying every tone and shade I feel. I can breathe in red and exhale blue, or swim in green and dry as a rainbow. It all depends on how I choose to react to every shadow and light beam headed my way.

  * * * *

  My two best friends were holding hands. I could not take my eyes off the finger-lock Bridget and Adam had going on. As they sat across the table from me at the Hillsburg bowling alley, their shoulders pressed together while they smiled and murmured quiet words to each other. And I just gawked, unable to look away.

  “Strange isn’t it?” Schy said, sliding into the chair next to mine and plopping down a tray full of drinks and cheesy nachos. “I still can’t stop staring at them together either.”

  “Are you guys talking about
us?” Bridget demanded, trying to hide her blush as she leaned forward to steal two cups—one for her, one for her boyfriend. “It’s not that strange.”

  “It’s very strange,” I said. When both Adam and Bridget lifted their faces as if they were about to argue with me, I held up a hand. “But totally cool.”

  The couple relaxed and settled back against each other, both lifting their Styrofoam cups and sucking soda from their straws in unison.

  “Aww, how cute,” Schy cooed, pressing her cheek to mine as we watched them. “They’re synchronized drinking. Pretty soon they’ll be wearing matching sweaters with little hearts on them and necklaces with each other’s names.”

  “Will you shut up?” Adam scowled at his twin.

  Together, he and Bridget slammed their cups back on the tabletop in coordinated indignation they couldn’t possibly have practiced.

  Schy and I threw back our heads and laughed.

  “What is so funny?” Bridget demanded.

  Barely managing to talk between my giggles, I asked, “Do you guys sneeze at the same time too?”

  “That’s it,” Adam growled, surging to his feet, Bridget rising with him in perfect harmony. “We’re bowling by ourselves.”

  “Oh, stop,” I said as Schy and I waved them back. “We’re just teasing. We love seeing you two together. Honest.”

  But what I loved even more was being around my friends again. My people.

  Once I’d returned to Hillsburg and I’d invited them all over, I’d sat them in my room and spilled everything about my time in Osage, every little detail down to the glove in the snow. And after they told me what I should’ve done differently—like kept them in the loop the entire time—we mended fences and things had been normal ever since.

  Schy and I were still trying to convince Bridget and Adam to sit back down when I felt a presence to my left a split second before someone tapped me on the shoulder.

  “Is this seat taken?” the voice that never failed to send happy shivers up my spine asked.

  I sucked in a breath and lifted my face.

  Ryder grinned down, his face practically glowing he looked so happy. The bruise around his eye hadn’t completely healed yet. I could see the hint of greenish-yellow ringing his lashes.

  Still, he looked utterly amazing.

  The air I had just inhaled flooded back out of my lungs, so I sounded winded when I answered, “You made it.”

  “Wasn’t hard to find,” he answered, his eyes lighting up as I pushed from my chair and opened my arms.

  We hugged like two people who hadn’t seen each other in years. It’d only been a few weeks for us, but it felt like centuries. It felt amazing to be folded in Ryder’s arms. He held me close and rested his cheek on my hair as he added, “Someone gives good directions.”

  I closed my eyes and breathed in his familiar Ryder-scent. “I missed you.”

  He kissed my temple. “Not nearly as much as I missed you.”

  Behind us, I heard a throat clear. Definitely Schy’s throat.

  Grinning, I pulled away from Ryder, freshly amazed he was here. With me. “Ready to meet my friends?”

  He took his attention off me to glance at Adam, Bridget and Schy as if he’d just then noticed I’d been sitting with other people. “As long as you warned them they have to like me no matter what.”

  I rolled my eyes. “They’ll love you.” Lacing my fingers through his, I spun around and thought my cheeks were going to explode from the way I kept pushing the ends of my smile further and further across my face. “Guys, this is Ryder.”

  In unison, Bridget and Adam plopped back down into their chairs. “Hi,” they said together, looking equally awed as they stared up at Ryder.

  Leaning closer to me, Ryder asked out the side of his mouth. “Are they the twins?”

  I laughed.

  What followed was one of the best nights of my life. I should’ve known Ryder better than to worry he might not get along with my friends. Ryder could talk to anyone. If he’d been any other person from Southeast, he would’ve stuck out like a sore thumb among the nerd herd. But Ryder slipped right in, asking Adam if he knew how to play “Stairway to Heaven” on the guitar, before he actually listened to Bridget, egging her on, when she raved about her newest assignment in school.

  We did a little bowling—Ryder was the only one of us with any talent—but mostly we gossiped. And laughed.

  When I asked how things were at Southeast, he was pleased to report, “Todd and Kiera already broke up. She caught him kissing her best friend.”

  And when he asked how my mom was doing—since I’d told him how worried I was about her—I explained how Mr. Howard had kindly been emailing me, giving me helpful advice about how to help her as best I could.

  “He’s been emailing you?” Ryder repeated, looking suspicious.

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah. I asked if he could talk to her, but after their first chat, he’s been too shy. I guess he had this huge crush on her in high school. I think the only reason he emails instead of calls is because he’s afraid of having to talk to Mom in case she answers the phone.”

  “Sounds like he still has a crush on her,” Schy mused.

  I shrugged. “Probably.”

  “You know,” Ryder spoke up, looking thoughtful. “Mr. Howard’s divorced.”

  I lifted my face. “That’s right; I forgot. Laina said her mom left them for some other guy.”

  “Yeah. After Todd and I fought in the hall and had to go to the counselor’s office, he confessed his wife had cheated on him. He went on and on about how hitting Todd was wrong and I shouldn’t let my feelings take control of me like that again. Then he leaned forward and admitted he wished he could’ve hit the guy who stole his wife.”

  My mouth fell open as I listened. “So Mr. Howard’s single,” I said, the truth fully dawning on me.

  “And your mom’s single,” Ryder added with a knowing grin, reading my mind.

  Finally, the rest of my friends caught on. Across the table, Bridget gasped. “Holy Hosanna, we should totally hook your mom up with Mr. Howard.”

  And we did.

  Three years later, I walked down the aisle as Mom’s maid of honor in her marriage to Matthew Howard, happily gaining a sweet stepsister in Laina.

  Two years after that, Mom stood as my matron of honor at my wedding. But that’s a whole other story, ending in a happily ever after that should be easy to guess.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Linda grew up on a dairy farm in the Midwest as the youngest of eight children. Now she lives in Kansas with her husband, toddler daughter, and their nine cuckoo clocks. She works a day job in the acquisitions department of a university library and feels her life has been blessed with lots of people to learn from and love. Writing's always been a major part of her world, and she's thrilled to finally share some of her stories with other romance lovers. You can visit her website at: www.LindaKage.com

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