Secrets of a Spinster

by Rebecca Connolly

  “Mary,” Kate said kindly, “we are not people. We are your friends. And Moira was driving Nathan mad, so she needed to do something, and sitting here with you is much better than sitting at home with a worrying Nathan.”

  Mary smiled and quirked a brow. “Moira, surely you ought to be resting…”

  Moira took a sip of the tea that Anna had brought to them. “Nonsense. A bit of walking is good for me and for the child. Now, step on up there and take a look at yourself. The girls are right, that blue simply makes your eyes shimmer.”

  Knowing it was pointless to resist all of the women in the room, Mary stepped on the pedestal and took a deep breath of resignation.

  “I think that now would be a fine time for the man in the room to quit this soiree,” Geoff said as he rose from his seat. “I think you have all the help that you need here.”

  Mary turned to face him quickly. “No, don’t go. Really, it won’t be that bad.”

  He chuckled. “This coming from you? You are barely making it through, so great is your suffering.”

  She bit her lip and waved him over to her.

  He obediently came and tilted his head up at her. “What is it, Goose?”

  “I need you to stay,” she whispered, feeling her heart race with a bit of panic.

  His brow furrowed and he took her hand. “Are you all right?”

  She nodded, but gripped his hand tightly. “I need you to stay, Geoff. I am very out of my comfort here. Everybody is telling me what to do and I just can’t…” She struggled for words and swallowed.

  “You don’t have to go through with this, you know,” he murmured, knowing the others couldn’t see his face. “The whole season of this game, it isn’t necessary.”

  “I know. But look at Cassie, Geoff. She is out in public, and she is glowing. She is holding up her end of the bargain we struck. I cannot back out. I won’t. I’ll do it, and will attempt to smile through the whole of it.” She took a steadying breath. “Just… just don’t go. Please.”

  He looked at her for a moment, then smiled. “Very well, I’ll stay. But you will owe me.”

  She smiled back at him, relief washing over her. “I will and I do, and I will gladly pay it.”

  He lifted one brow, and his blue eyes twinkled a touch dangerously. “Oh, you shouldn’t say that before you know what I will require.”

  She rolled her eyes and pushed at his chest with a laugh. “I am not afraid of you.”

  “I think you should be, Goose,” he said, winking as he stepped back. “I think you should be.” He sat back in his chair and indicated that she continue her modeling.

  Mary nodded regally and turned, then saw in the mirror the expressions on all three ladies’ faces. Suspicious, curious, and intrigued. Oh dear.

  The rest of the morning passed rather the same for Mary, though each dress she tried or was fitted for was different and unique and certainly elegant, and not so very far out of her own tastes. At least, compared to what it could have been. Her friends had very distinct opinions about her gowns and even, saving Moira, rose on occasion to suggest various alterations to Mrs. Farrow, who simply delighted at having three such wealthy and respected ladies in her shop at the same time. Moira merely voiced her opinion from her seat, which was quite enough.

  But even Mary, reluctant though she was, had to admit that Mrs. Farrow knew what she was doing. Never had Mary felt so… pretty. There was no other word for it. Being fussed over and complimented was something she thought she could get used to, and when she saw what it brought her, she almost felt that she was worth being fussed over. She had never thought that something as simple as a dress could have that effect.

  Geoffrey had been nearly silent the entire time, which suited Mary. She could see in his face if he especially liked something or not, but unless he was asked a direct question, he said nothing. It didn’t matter to Mary if he said anything at all. He was here, keeping her steady, and that was all that mattered to her.

  “Oh, Miss Hamilton,” Mrs. Farrow gushed as she raced back into the dressing area and interrupted her thoughts. “I have found one more gown that is not entirely done, but the girl who had ordered it changed her mind or eloped with a stable hand or something. I think will fit you perfectly. Will you try it?”

  Mary looked at the dress, a deep blue ball gown that was almost purple in its richness. It was a little more elaborate than the others, but tastefully so. She fingered the material, and found herself nodding. There was something about this dress that she loved, which was an entirely new emotion for her.

  Mrs. Farrow and Anna helped her get it on, and Mary held her breath for their reactions. After all, they were the experts and she the novice. Her own thoughts counted for very little.

  “It fits perfectly,” Anna breathed, her eyes wide.

  “I knew it would!” Mrs. Farrow sighed. “As I said, it is not entirely finished, but it is quite good enough to show your sister and your friends.”

  Mary let out a breath, then nodded. She closed her eyes, then stepped out into the room and heard a collective intake of breath from the girls, but no other sound. She looked at them all and found them all staring with open mouths.

  “Well?” she asked a touch nervously.

  “Oh, Mary,” Diana breathed, starting to smile. “You look incredible.”

  Mary was stunned. Diana was never one for flattery. “I do?”

  “You do!” Cassandra squealed, her hands covering her mouth as she very nearly danced where she stood.

  “You have to take this one,” Moira said, dabbing at her moist eyes. “If it can make the emotionally unbalanced and very large woman cry, then it’s a sign.”

  “You’re not the only one,” Kate laughed, pulling out her handkerchief. “It’s beautiful, Mary. Exquisite. I want one.”

  Everyone in the room laughed, except one. Mary looked past the women to Geoff, who looked rather thunderstruck.

  “Geoff?” Mary asked uncertainly, for once wanting him to say something besides his customary “if you like”.

  He looked her up, and then down, his expression never changing. It seemed as if the entire room held its breath as he examined her. Mary felt her heart pounding furiously in her chest, and thought it very likely she would die before he said anything.

  Finally, he met her eyes, his customary smile spread, and he said, “Mary, you have to get this one. Honestly and truly, you do.”

  The room nearly exploded with cheers and Mary released the breath she had been holding, and allowed herself to grin. If all else failed her, if the season turned out to be a grand disaster for her, at least she had this one gown that made her feel the slightest bit magical.

  Perhaps fashion was not so bad after all.

  “Wonderful!” Mrs. Farrow cried again, coming over. “Now let us see what we can create for ourselves, hmm? And then we must find bonnets and gloves and coats and stockings and slippers and, of course, undergarments…”

  Mary restrained a groan.

  Never mind.

  Chapter Six

  “Somebody say something to distract him.”

  “Distract him? How are we going to do that? It’s not even mine, and I can’t be distracted.”

  “Yes, but you will soon have one of your own, so it affects you differently.”

  “What’s all the whispering?” Geoffrey asked his friends as he approached, handing his gloves and hat off to a servant standing nearby.

  Derek turned with an oddly strained expression. “Moira is… ah… she is…” He looked to the others for help.

  Colin rolled his eyes and said, “The baby is coming.”

  Geoff turned on his heel, but was stopped by a pair of hands clamping onto his shoulders. “I really don’t think I need to be here for this,” he protested as Duncan turned him around again.

  “None of us do,” Colin sighed as he flung himself into a chair and rubbed his brow. “But Nate asked us to come, so here we are. I think this qualifies us for the best friends eve
r.”

  A cry that was somehow both hoarse and shrill echoed down to them, and everyone flinched, but Nathan, whom Geoffrey had somehow missed before, groaned and clutched the doorframe harder, his knuckles so white it was unnatural.

  “How long has he been like this?” Geoff murmured to Duncan.

  “I don’t know,” he replied. “I’ve only been here ten minutes myself.”

  None of the others had any answers either. They all looked at Nathan, but he was so fixed on that room upstairs that an army of giants could have marched into his home and he wouldn’t have noticed. He barely even blinked, and gave no hint he heard a single word of their conversation.

  “We probably should distract him,” Duncan said softly, his brow furrowed in concern.

  “And how would you suggest we do that?” Geoff asked in a whisper, doubtful that Nathan would listen to any of them.

  “I fail to see why any of us are bothering to keep our voices down,” Colin said in his normal voice. “He’s not paying attention to anything we say, so there is really no need.”

  “Just because I’m not responding, Colin, doesn’t mean I cannot hear,” Nathan replied in a tense voice, though he smiled just a bit.

  “He lives!” Colin cried and jumped from his seat. “I feared you were lost to us. What shall we do, Nate, hmm? Go for a ride? Have a few drinks? Fence in the foyer?”

  “No.”

  “Come on, what if we go four against one? Duncan doesn’t mind.”

  “Duncan surely does!” the man in question broke in.

  “Come on, Duncan, it’s for Nathan,” Colin pleaded. “Do your friend a kindness, won’t you?”

  “I don’t need distraction, nor do I need Duncan to play pincushion,” Nathan said, not looking at them. He let go of the doorframe and started pacing. “Why haven’t I heard anything? I should have heard something. What if it’s all going wrong? What if she needs me and I’m down here with you lot?”

  “It’s Moira, Nate. She would let the world know if she needed you,” Geoff assured him.

  Nathan apparently did not hear him.

  “I should be up there,” he muttered, still pacing. “I should be with her.”

  “So why aren’t you?” Colin asked, having lost his juvenile air. “If you’re mad enough to actually want to be up there,” he paused to shudder for effect, “which I do not understand, why are you down here with the rest of us sensible creatures?"

  Nathan looked pained and finally met their eyes. “She kicked me out.”

  Geoffrey bit his lip to keep from laughing and saw the others doing the same. Colin was struggling the most.

  “Oh, fine, laugh if you will,” Nathan growled irritably. “You all will feel very different when it’s your wife.”

  Derek sobered up immediately. “That’s not far off for me,” he murmured, glancing apprehensively up towards the bedchambers.

  Colin caught the look and laughed. “Oh, please, Derek, you have nothing to worry about. It’s Kate. She will issue a command and your child will come walking out.”

  That seemed to break the tension, and all laughed.

  “Come on, Nathan,” Duncan said, putting his arm around his friend’s shoulder. “Let’s get some food. Worrying here won’t do any bit of good.”

  Nathan sighed and nodded. “That’s what Moira said upstairs, and why I’m now down here, but I couldn’t help myself. How that woman can be so calm about this whole thing is beyond me.”

  “One of the great mysteries in life, I expect,” Colin added with a nod, sending a servant to bring some food up from the kitchens.

  “What, birth?” Derek asked as he took a seat.

  “No, women.”

  Geoffrey rolled his eyes and sat down himself. “You will never marry, Colin.”

  Colin grinned, his blue eyes glinting. “Oh, and you are one to talk? When was the last time you courted anybody?”

  “Lydia Fawcett, and it was 1813, I think,” Derek recited, leaning back and smiling.

  “How could you possibly remember that?” Geoff asked with a laugh.

  “Because you were so entertaining to watch,” he replied, indicating the nods from the others. “You were a sight to behold.”

  “And nobody has seen that side of you since,” Duncan sighed mournfully.

  “And how is the lovely Mrs. Arnett these days?” Colin folded his arms, looking mischievous. “What does she have, four children now?”

  “So, Nathan, how was your winter?” Geoffrey asked in a loud voice, to general laughter.

  “Very enjoyable, thank you, aside from a pregnant wife who will not listen to reason.” Nathan groaned again as another cry could be heard from upstairs.

  “Kate is going to kill me,” Derek hissed, his eyes screwing up against the sound.

  “Ah, the food is here!” Colin nearly yelled as a servant entered, looking wildly confused at the state of the men. “You are an angel, my dear,” he told the girl, who blushed and bobbed a curtsey, then exited.

  Duncan and Colin busied themselves with the food, while the other three didn’t touch it.

  “How long have you been in town, Nathan?” Duncan asked around a mouthful of food.

  “Three weeks,” he replied, looking gratefully at Duncan. “Moira was bored with Beverton House, so we came here. Went to a party at Lord and Lady Carteret’s the other night. Which reminds me,” he said, turning to face Geoff. “I like that Mary Hamilton of yours.”

  “Oh, really?” Geoff replied sarcastically.

  Nathan gave him a hard look. “I know you’ve thought highly of her all your life, but I didn’t know her. She’s sensible, witty, and good tempered. I used to think her totally reserved, but she merely chooses when and where to open up, and to whom, which makes her a good deal wiser than other members of society, male or female.”

  Geoff sat back with a satisfied smile, pleased with the assessment. “She’s going to play the debutante this season. Balls and the theater and flirtation and the whole bit.”

  Across the room, eyes widened and brows rose, but only Nathan spoke. “Is she now? That will be an interesting change.”

  Geoffrey frowned. “Interesting?”

  Nathan seemed to choose his next words with a great deal of care. “The thing about Mary is that no one really knows her until they get to know her. She’s a mystery wrapped in the assumptions of society. Changing that will change everything else.”

  “It will be a laugh,” Geoff corrected a little strongly.

  Nathan shrugged. “If you say so.”

  “She’s one of my best friends,” Geoff told them all, feeling defensive. “Don’t you think I know what will be a laugh with her and what will not?”

  “If you say so,” Nathan said again.

  Nobody looked remotely convinced of anything.

  Another loud yell was heard from upstairs and again, all of them winced.

  Nathan put his face into his hands. “I cannot bear this. It’s no use.”

  “I am going to die,” Derek moaned to himself with a shake of his head, apparently not hearing Nathan.

  A soft clearing of the throat brought all of their heads up to the maid at the door.

  “Yes?” Nathan all but barked.

  “My lord, she is asking for you,” the maid said, wringing her hands a little.

  “She is?” he whispered, looking a little pale.

  She offered an apologetic wince. “Erm… demanding would be a better word.”

  “But she kicked me out earlier.”

  “She said she’s changed her mind, and that if you have half of one, you’ll be up there before she has to ask again.” She smiled a little, looking somewhere between wanting to laugh and wanting to run.

  Now the snickers were full blown laughs, but Nathan was off like a shot, moving faster than any of them had ever seen. And Nathan could move very fast indeed.

  “Well, I suppose now would be an appropriate time to take a nap,” Colin sighed, sliding down in his chair and resti
ng his head against the back of it.

  “I think that sounds like a very good idea.” Duncan nodded and he took up position on the sofa and closing his eyes.

  “I think…” Derek began, standing shakily, “I think I need to go home and hold my wife.”

  “Tell her hello from me,” Colin said without moving, except for the wide grin that appeared on his face. Derek paid him no mind, as usual, and left with barely a nod to the rest.

  Geoff smiled to himself as he sat back in his chair. There was nothing else that needed his attention at the moment, the least he could do was get his rest in while waiting for his friend to become a father.

  If Mary was going to be as involved in society this season as she seemed determined to, he was going to need all the rest he could receive now.

  Nathan’s words of doubt nagged at his mind repeatedly, but he brushed them aside as quickly as they came. Things would be fine, not to mention hilarious, they would see.

  “Now remember, Mary, when you are at a dinner, do not slurp your soup, or wear your serviette like a cravat, or talk over someone, or eat off of your knife, it’s a despicable habit.”

  “When have I ever done that?” Mary asked incredulously as she leaned against her bedpost, watching her sister pace her bedchamber with this instruction.

  “Never, but a reminder is always useful.”

  Mary threw up her hands and closed her mouth. There was no use talking sense to Cassandra most days, but when she was excitable as she was now, it was impossible. And she had only just started.

  Physically, and fashionably, Mary was completely prepared. The gowns and all of the additional accouterments that came with them had been finished earlier in the week, and Cassandra and Mary’s new maid, Josephine, had spent the last two days perfecting Mary’s hair. What exactly had been wrong with it in the first place had never been explained to her, but she bit her tongue and moved forward, as usual.

  What unsettled her still was far less simple. Her entire manner of thinking would have to change. Her behavior, her reactions, her very nature would all have to change. She had to become a debutante, not only look like one. And she didn’t know the first thing about that.