“No, I have not heard from Bingley. As far as I know, they should be on the road to us now. They always stay at the Inn at Rowsley, so they should be somewhere on the road between there and here. Elizabeth, I do not want you to worry about this unduly, but I am going to ride out to meet them.”
“Whatever for? I shall come with you.”
“No, no, you will not. You shall stay here with Georgiana, and I would like you both to remain indoors, please. Now, I do not want to make you uneasy, but I have had a report of a robbery by highwaymen on the road from Rowsley. It was last night, but there have been rumours for some days. That is one of the reasons I was so concerned when you did not return yesterday. The truth is that, two days ago, masked men were seen by one of the gamekeepers on the edge of the estate. I did not want to say anything to you last night. There was no point in worrying you, and I was so relieved you were safe. The search party sent out for you did not discover them, and I believed they were gone. However, it seems they are not, and last night, a gang of highwaymen held up and robbed Lady Bellamy’s carriage. That is why Franks was here so early this morning. They were last seen making their way north along the Matlock road. So, I am concerned firstly, that they may be on Pemberley land or close by. And secondly, Bingley and his sisters may be riding straight into the path of danger. I have already sent a number of men out to the perimeter, and I will ride out myself with others until we find Bingley and his party and escort them to Pemberley.”
His words seemed to slice through me, and I was shocked to the marrow. The nearness of danger and the peril he would be in pounded my head and made my mouth dry. My body felt weak, and I sank onto the chaise. “Oh, Fitzwilliam, it is so dangerous!”
“You are not in danger, Elizabeth. Just stay inside the house.”
“I mean dangerous for you! You cannot ride out on just your horse when there may be highwaymen! They are most treacherous, and they will be armed! They must be very accomplished horsemen.”
“I am an accomplished horseman, Elizabeth, and I will have other men with me. I cannot ask others to put themselves in the way of danger and not do so myself. I cannot allow my guests to walk into uncertain catastrophe on the way to our home when it is within my power to stop it. You must see that.”
The truth of his words and the inevitability of it, of course, I knew. I suddenly remembered him telling me during our short engagement that he was not a princeling and knew at that moment he spoke true. There was a deeply rooted and unusual bravery within him, one that I would have to accept. “Yes, I do see that. But I am wretched with fear for you. Please do nothing reckless, Fitzwilliam. Shall I say nothing to Georgiana?”
“Yes, that would be best. Thank you.” He then kissed me with great tenderness, first on the lips and then on the side of my neck, and was gone.
The rest of the day passed in lonely turmoil as I played the pianoforte, ate luncheon with Georgiana, and mentioned nothing of the great danger her brother faced. I glanced out of the window at the familiar landscape often but saw no sign of any person: friend or foe. I hoped with all my heart that Mr Darcy would appear in the golden light, atop his horse and well. Georgiana, in ignorance of what was occurring or might be occurring, had other concerns.
“Oh, Elizabeth, I am so grateful for this practice if I am to play before Mr Bingley’s sisters. They are frightful judges, are they not?”
I smiled to think all of Miss Bingley’s attention to Georgiana had only served to intimidate the poor child. “Well, they have very firm notions of accomplishment, Georgiana, but I think you more than come up to scratch as far as they are concerned. I know they admire your playing very much, and I am sure you have nothing to fear. In any case, your brother and I will be here, and I hope we are not frightful judges. Mr Bingley certainly is not.”
“No, that is true.” She laughed her way through the familiar passage she was playing and seemed to want to say more. “Did you see very much of them when you were in Hertfordshire?”
“Yes, quite a lot. Mr Bingley rented a house only three miles from my home, and I stayed there for three days once when my sister was taken ill during supper with Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst. Your brother was there, too. They hosted a ball to which the whole neighbourhood was invited…” I was on the verge of saying that Mr Darcy and I had become engaged at the ball, or because of the ball, but my old familiar restraint swelled up inside me, and I stopped myself. Georgiana’s sweet face looked at me over the top of the sheet music, and I realised in that moment that I had a desperate desire to talk about Fitzwilliam and the strange unknowns of how we came to be married as well as the mystery of the Bingley party’s departure from Netherfield. I had come to love and trust Georgiana, but because I loved her, I could not confide in her. No man was more perfect to her than her brother, and I could not be the one to cast doubts. How could I tell her that I knew not how he felt about me, and he had only married me to avoid a scandal manufactured by my mother?
“Yes, Elizabeth? What about the ball? I am not allowed to attend balls yet.”
“Erm, well, it was a ball and it was very merry. After the ball, I became engaged to your brother, but Mr Bingley and his sisters had already departed for town, so I have not seen them since that evening. Mr Bingley is a very agreeable gentleman, and I look forward to renewing my acquaintance with him very much.”
“Yes, Charles is very amiable, and I like him, too. You will not persuade me to be easy with Miss Bingley though, Elizabeth.”
“Oh yes, I will, for we are sisters now, are we not? I shall protect you from Miss Bingley.”
She moved up on the piano bench to make way for me, and I took my place for my side of our duet. “Thank you, Lizzy,” she said and kissed my cheek.
I had asked Baxter to tell me immediately when Mr Darcy or anyone else was seen approaching the house. When, in the late afternoon, he appeared in the door of the music room, my heart quaked with fear. “Mrs Darcy, the master and Mr Bingley’s carriage have been seen on the road.”
“Thank you, Baxter. How far away are they?”
“They were at the milepost, madam.”
“I will wait at the door. Thank you.”
I fled to the main door, my palms wet with sweat and my mind racing. I hardly noticed Georgiana following me and then standing beside me at the top of the stone steps. Before long he appeared, riding some paces ahead of the carriage and looking exhausted but uninjured. Relief flooded through me like a torrent, and I longed to run to him. I did not do so but stood in the doorway, my heart singing at the sight of him. Safe. Returned. His eyes held mine, and he dismounted without breaking the connection between us. Despite myself, I could be still no longer, and I left our sister’s side and flew down the steps towards him. In the seconds that elapsed between Mr Darcy reaching me and the Bingley carriage drawing up, my husband discreetly brushed a kiss on the inside of my wrist.
“All is well, Elizabeth. They had not even left the inn when I arrived, and we have seen nothing untoward. I take it you and Georgiana have nothing to report.”
“No, nothing has happened here. You must have been riding for thirty miles.”
“Do not think of that…”
We greeted our guests out of their carriage, and they greeted us with carefully rehearsed expressions of joy. The feathers atop Miss Bingley’s head bobbed before me, and the swell of Mrs Hurst’s extravagant skirts swished about the steps. It was clear from the outset that they had not been told of the danger and were under the impression Mr Darcy had ridden to meet them out of an excess of hospitality.
“How agreeable of you, sir, to ride out to Gravenshurst to meet us. We are so very obliged,” cooed Miss Bingley, brushing her hand against my husband’s arm. “But then we have always been made to feel so welcome at dear Pemberley, and I can see your marriage has altered nothing! My dear Eliza, how small you look next to Mr Darcy. I do h
ope you are well. I expect you have been walking a great deal, or have you curtailed your walking now you find yourself in different circumstances?”
“Thank you, Miss Bingley. I am well. And indeed, I have been finding many wonderful walks around Pemberley. I have been riding, too, so I am becoming quite the adventuress.”
“How satisfactory for you. I doubt there was much opportunity for riding at Longbourn. You must be quite content with your situation.”
“I am, but I have not been denied the opportunity to ride in the past as my father keeps a horse. It is rather I now have an exemplary teacher, who makes all the difference.” I shot a glance at Mr Darcy, which Miss Bingley was too quick to miss. Any doubt I had that her behaviour towards me was motivated by jealousy evaporated at that moment, and I found myself pitying her. Objectionable as she was, after the hours of torment I had known, I could not find the space in my mind to be concerned with her.
Our supper passed in ease and enjoyment. We sat in the small dining room, Mr Darcy and I at each end of the table, and I watched the candlelight glowing and flickering across his tired, handsome features. The dishes were served, the drinks were poured, and all were merry. Mr Bingley entertained us with stories of his Scarborough relations and even Mr Hurst, whom I had never seen raise his eyes from his plate before, spoke. Miss Bingley continued to show too much attention to my husband, and although he had never spoken of it to me, I knew it did not signify, and I did not care. Both of Mr Bingley’s sisters expressed interest in Pemberley’s history, her architecture, and origins. Mr Darcy, who I presumed had taken too much wine, offered to speak of these matters on a tour of the older parts of the house on the morrow, so the ladies were well pleased. Georgiana joined us for supper, and she was thrilled to be allowed to dine with adults outside of her family for the first time. She sat beside me and glanced at me for reassurance, but on the whole, she disported herself admirably. Nobody observing her could have thought anything wanting.
After supper, the ladies played, and I sang while Georgiana accompanied me. Mrs Hurst made sure to compliment Georgiana’s playing and not mention my voice, but I had seen my husband looking at me as I sang and could not care for her opinion. While her sister focussed on my sister, Miss Bingley raised a subject that I knew to be unavoidable.
“My dear, Eliza. How very shocked we all were by your marriage! I wonder you ever fancied yourself Mrs Darcy while we were all at Netherfield. It never occurred to me, I must say.”
“Well…” I searched for some response but did not find it ready, and she continued.
“And for it to have taken place too quickly! I cannot imagine what must have prompted such speedy nuptials… No sooner had we arrived in town than our brother received word our dear, new acquaintance, Eliza Bennet, was Mrs Darcy, without a word to anyone or even our brother being in attendance.”
“Erm, well—”
“And your poor mother! Surely, Mrs Bennet cannot have been satisfied with a hasty wedding. She would have wanted to invite all of her four and twenty families; I am sure. However did you persuade her, Mr Darcy, to part with her daughter with such alacrity? What say you, sir? You must be quite the romantic to carry Eliza off in so little time?”
Mr Darcy did not suffer my uncertainty in his reply. “Our wedding was a quiet affair, Miss Bingley. I hope our friends can forgive us that. As to being a romantic, I cannot say. I am not given to publishing my private affairs and do not intend to start now. But suffice to say, I am not a man to delay matters of importance.”
Her enquiry unanswered, Miss Bingley seemed to know the subject was closed. Mr Darcy had flicked the slightest glance at me as he spoke these words. What was his meaning? Did he look away because he was unhappy or because he did not wish to be observed? Whatever the truth, I had the solace that my husband would not tolerate further discussion of the matter and resolved to be as cheerful as possible with our guests. Thus, the remainder of the evening passed in agreeable discussion, the tinkling of Miss Bingley’s laugh following Mr Darcy’s every remark. At length, well fed and entertained, our guests retired; having briefly checked with Mrs Reynolds that the arrangements for the morrow were in place, I did likewise.
I was sitting up in bed with my book when Mr Darcy arrived in the doorway between our chambers. To see his face, exhausted and slightly shadowed, moved me greatly. The relief I had felt upon seeing him approaching the house and the hours of worry I had known that day returned to me in an instant, and I crawled towards him across the bed. Without pausing, he met me and, leaning against the foot of my bed, embraced me. Something unknown seemed to have shifted, and when he kissed me, he kissed not just my face, but my neck, my bosom, my belly. A fury was within him. His touch was strong, but I did not fear him. Raising his head from my chest, he gestured to my nightgown. “May I remove this, Elizabeth?”
Shocked as I was, I consented, and he pulled the garment over my head and cast it upon the floor in one motion. He had never, in all our marriage, seen my nakedness but to my great surprise, I did not feel shy. The pleasure of his attentions was a source of amazement to me, and I could not speak. No words were necessary, however, for we seemed to understand one another well enough. My husband gently pushed me back and, atop the blanket, our bodies uncovered, made love to me with such urgency that I knew he had hungered for it. The pleasure of it spilled through my body like a flood, and I was drowned. When it was over, I trembled in his arms.
“Forgive me; I am a brute to make you cold,” he said as he tucked me beneath the rumpled blankets.
“I am not cold, and there is nothing to forgive. I was going to ask you about your journey and the highwaymen, Fitzwilliam, but now I feel I cannot focus on sensible conversation.”
He laughed. “I am pleased to hear that I can distract you so, Elizabeth. I…well…I had feared I could not.”
I rolled atop him, emboldened by my happiness and said, “You can,” before we kissed more.
***
Later, we did converse on the events of the day.
“Fitzwilliam, you should sleep now. You must be exhausted, and you have promised Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst a narrative history of Pemberley in the morning.”
“Yes, that was a rash promise. Maybe I should ask Georgiana to deliver it, I have never seen her so confident in front of Bingley’s sisters. Anyway, I thought you wanted to know about the highwaymen. I am afraid they have not been apprehended. We saw nothing of them or their like on the road in either direction, and no one on the estate has seen them. Lord Bellamy’s messenger came this evening to say they do not have them and do not know their whereabouts. I am worried they may hide in our woods, Elizabeth, so you will have to stay indoors again tomorrow. I am sorry. I know you will miss your walks, especially with our guests here.”
“Is it possible to search the woods?”
“Yes, and it was partly done today. The men will continue tomorrow, and I will join them for a few hours.”
He felt me flinch at his words and locked me still tighter in his arms, kissing my head until I fell into slumber. As I lay in his embrace, I had never felt closer to him. The warmth of his physical affection was some replacement for his lack of words to me and the anxiety I felt about the basis of our marriage. Our bodies had met and conversed in the same language. If I could have nothing else with him, then I had that. Should I not be grateful for the blessings God gives me? With that, my mind turned to my condition, to the small life within me, rising like bread in a hot oven, waiting for no man. I knew I must face it, and in this new intimacy with Fitzwilliam, I felt ready to tell him I was with his child. I resolved to do so as soon as the Bingley party had departed.
Chapter Ten
The days in which Mr Bingley and his family were our guests passed quite reasonably. On the second day of their stay, a message reached us that the highwaymen had been spotted on the road to Glossop and were believed gone
out of the country. From that time on, we entertained our guests out of doors as well as within. In fine weather, unchallenging walks were undertaken, and the men rode before breakfast. Inevitably, the ladies were forced to spend many hours together, and though none of us would have chosen this, nothing untoward occurred. Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst were clearly perplexed at my marriage and ignorant of the circumstances. However much they may have wished to pry, they could not risk doing so in front of Georgiana, so they said nothing on the subject.
Neither did they say very much about my family. I suspected them of wishing to avoid the subject of my sister Jane lest their brother be reminded of her beauty and goodness and wish to return to Netherfield. I had formed the opinion that they had been the force separating my sister from Mr Bingley. Therefore, they contented themselves with merely referring in general terms to my lack of accomplishment and society. In passing, they commented repeatedly on my unfamiliarity with town and inexperience in managing large houses. Each gown I wore was remarked as being an improvement on the simple muslins I had been accustomed to in Hertfordshire. Even my diminutive size was taken to be a sign of inadequacy, although I knew I was growing fat, and my breasts were swollen and sore.
Between my husband and me, the subsequent nights passed in much the same manner as the first. My feelings for him, long in their formation, had taken flight. Some silent inhibition between us had come away, and in the privacy of our quarters, we became free with one another. In his public attitude towards me, there was not one indication, but in private, we had ignited. Still, he said very little and did not allay my fears with respect to his general attitude towards my family and background. He did give me confidence; however, in the privacy of my bedchamber and between our unclothed bodies, he was not indifferent to me.
Suddenly Mrs. Darcy Page 8
