“Oh, trust me―” He let his thumb caress her cheek. “I like new Ava a whole lot. In fact―” he tilted his head closer to hers. “I love her.”
Ava inhaled sharply. “Joseph, don’t say―”
“I love you, Ava.” He let his lips touch hers, gently, testing. When hers responded, he pulled her closer, letting himself get lost in every sensation.
One thing this kiss made him sure of: Ava might be a different person. And he might be too. But they had never been more right for each other.
Chapter 36
“You’re sure you’re comfortable with this?”
Ava laughed as Joseph parked the car in the parking lot of Beautiful Savior and turned toward her, his brow creased with worry. It was the tenth time he’d asked in the last hour. Which was sweet―but not necessary.
“It’s your brother’s wedding, Joseph. Of course I’m comfortable with it.” She pulled on the sweater she planned to wear over her dress―not so much to hide her scars but because early December in River Falls could be chilly. “Now let’s get inside so they don’t think their photographer has bailed on them.” In general, Ava avoided doing wedding photos―there were far too many people at a wedding―but she’d made an exception when Asher and Ireland had asked.
Joseph caught her hand before she could open her car door. She turned a scolding look on him. “Seriously, Joseph, we have to―”
“I know. I just wanted to say thank you.”
Ava raised an eyebrow. “I haven’t taken the pictures yet,” she joked.
But Joseph looked uncharacteristically serious. “I mean thank you for giving us another chance. The past few months have been . . .” Joseph gazed out the window toward the church, then back at her. “The best of my life. Ever.”
“Me too.” Ava could only whisper as the full impact of his words hit her.
He leaned forward and brought his lips to hers. “I love you,” he said as they pulled apart.
Ava swallowed. He’d said it so many times. And she wanted to get the words out―so badly. Because she did love him. That had never been in question. The question was, what would happen if she said it out loud?
She pushed her door open. “Come on. It looks like the bride and groom are here.”
“Hey, bro, you know this is supposed to be a party, right?” Asher stopped in front of Joseph’s otherwise empty table, his arm wrapped firmly around his bride’s waist.
Joseph stood, giving first Ireland then his brother a quick hug. “Congratulations. It was a beautiful day.”
“So why aren’t you dancing?” Ireland swayed to the music.
“My date’s a little busy.” Joseph nodded toward Ava, who had her camera lifted to her face―same as she had all day.
“Oh. Uh uh.” Ireland slipped out of Asher’s arms, pausing to kiss him. “Be right back.” Then she strode straight for Ava.
Asher nudged Joseph. “Bet she gets Ava over here in thirty seconds flat.”
Joseph laughed half-heartedly. He wasn’t sure if it mattered. Not if Ava was going to keep sidestepping his declarations of love. Not if she kept holding him at arm’s length.
It wasn’t that she’d shut him out. They spent time together nearly every day, called each other when they were apart, kissed whenever they had a moment. And it was all wonderful. But it all left him yearning for more.
More of her heart.
More of her trust.
More of her.
But it was a more he was starting to wonder if she could give.
“Hey, man. Everything’s okay between you two, right?” Asher asked.
Joseph nodded. “Yeah, of course. I just wish it was a little easier, you know? Like it is for you and Ireland.”
Asher snorted. “Tell me you’re kidding.” He elbowed Joseph as Ireland led Ava toward them. “I don’t think any relationship is necessarily easy. It takes work. But it’s totally worth it.”
“Well, coming from someone who vowed not three years ago to be a perennial bachelor, I guess that means a lot.” Joseph shoved his brother’s arm.
Asher grinned as Ireland pulled Ava up to them.
“One wedding date. As promised.” Ireland nudged Ava toward him before taking Asher’s hand. “Come on. We still have that whole side of the room to say hi to.”
“Wait,” Ava cried, and Joseph winced. Was she that desperate not to be alone with him?
She pulled her camera strap from around her neck and held the device out to Asher. “Would you take a picture of us?”
Joseph gaped at her. She wanted to have her picture taken?
“You’re sure?” He turned his back on the camera, shielding her from it. He didn’t want her to do this if she wasn’t comfortable with it.
“I’m sure. We’re going to want to remember this night, right?” She took his hand and positioned him on her left, then angled herself into him, so that her scarred side faced away from the camera.
The shutter clicked a few times before Asher lowered it. He stepped toward them, holding the camera out to Ava, but before she could take it, Joseph pulled her into a kiss.
Somewhere far in the background, he could hear Asher clearing his throat and Ireland giggling and music playing and people talking. But he was focused on only one thing: this incredible, brave, wonderful woman in front of him.
When he finally let her go, Asher bumped his arm with the camera. “Now that’s the kind of work I’m talking about.”
Ava gave him a puzzled look, and Joseph shook his head. “Never mind him.”
As Asher and Ireland melted into the crowd of guests, Ava fiddled with the dials on her camera, and Joseph’s heart, floating only a second ago, crashed to earth. Was she going to go back to hiding behind her camera now?
“I’ll be right back, okay?” She squeezed his arm. “You’ll be right here?”
He nodded, waiting until she’d disappeared among the bodies to sit with a sigh. He leaned back in his seat. He might as well get comfortable. Who knew how long she’d be off taking pictures this time.
“Hey, man.” Zeb pulled out the chair next to him. “Where’s Ava off to? She looked like she was in a hurry.”
Joseph shrugged. Away from him, that was all he knew.
“Look, I just wanted to say that I know I gave you a hard time about being with her again and feelings changing and all that. But I’m glad you ignored me. I was obviously wrong.”
Joseph shrugged again. What if he was the one who’d been wrong?
“Hello? Is this thing on?” Zeb pretended to tap an invisible microphone in front of him. “I’m saying I was wrong, and you were right. Doesn’t happen often.”
Joseph made himself laugh. “Thanks, Zeb. I appreciate it. But―”
“Hey, Zeb.” Ava rushed to the table, camera nowhere in sight. “Mind if I steal Joseph away?”
“He’s all yours.” Zeb slapped Joseph’s shoulder as he stood. Then he turned to Ava and gave her a quick hug. She looked surprised, but hugged him back.
As soon as Zeb had walked away, Ava held out a hand to Joseph. “Take a walk with me?” That smile―it was warm and tantalizing and . . . something else he couldn’t put his finger on―something he wanted to know more about.
“Okay?” Joseph took her hand and stood. “Where’s your camera?”
“I locked it up. Ireland made it clear that I was under no circumstances to take any more pictures tonight.”
Joseph frowned. “She doesn’t want pictures of the reception?”
“I got all the important ones already. Anyway, I think it was more that she didn’t want her new brother-in-law to be neglected any longer. Sorry we had to spend so much of the day apart.”
Joseph shrugged as if he hadn’t just been moping about that very thing. “So, where are you taking me?”
“You’ll see.” There was that smile again. She was clearly enjoying being mysterious.
She led him to a set of glass doors, beyond which there was a large, lighted patio. He opened the
door for her and followed her outside.
The temperature had fallen with the sun, and Joseph drew in a breath of the crisp December air. It fogged in front of his face as he blew it back out. This had always been his favorite time of the year, and he was incredibly grateful suddenly to be standing here with his favorite person.
Ava took his hand and led him past the small clusters of guests on the patio toward a cobblestone path that led in a winding route through spruce trees wrapped with white lights, down to the river’s edge. They made their way toward another, smaller, more intimate patio, covered by a pergola strung with more lights.
Neither of them said anything as they walked, and Joseph let himself stop worrying for once about what was going to come next and just savor the moment.
When they reached the patio, he wrapped an arm around Ava’s shoulders and snugged her close. “You’re cold.” He let go and started to take off his suit coat, but she grabbed his hand.
“I’m not cold, Joseph. I’m . . .” She licked her lips, that smile never faltering. “I’m in love with you. And I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to tell you. I guess I just―”
Ava’s words got lost as Joseph’s lips met hers, though she honestly couldn’t say whether she had moved to kiss him or he had moved to kiss her or they had moved to kiss each other. What she could say was that she had been a fool to wait to tell him. Because now that she’d said it once, she wanted to say it again and again and again.
She pulled away for a moment, and Joseph gave her a questioning look.
“I just wanted to say it again.” She grinned at him. “I love you.”
Joseph’s grin faded, and he looked suddenly grave.
Ava’s heart faltered. Why wasn’t he saying it back? Why wasn’t he saying anything? “Joseph?”
He dropped his hands from her shoulders and led her to a stone bench at the edge of the patio, gesturing for her to sit. She obeyed, a strange flutter going through her tummy, though she couldn’t say why. He took off his coat and wrapped it over her shoulders, then lowered himself onto the bench next to her, taking both of her hands in his. “Do you remember the promise we made each other?” His tone was urgent, as if he was afraid she’d forgotten.
She swallowed and nodded.
Of course she remembered. But they’d only been eighteen. It didn’t mean . . .
“I want to keep that promise, Ava. I want to spend forever with you.”
Ava sucked in a sharp breath. Forever was a big word. A word she’d thought had been shattered into pieces the night of the fire.
In one fluid motion, Joseph slipped off the bench and dropped to one knee right there on the patio.
“Joseph―” She choked on his name. What was he doing? He couldn’t do this.
He gave her a sheepish grin. “I’m sorry. I don’t have a ring. I mean, I do. Have a ring. But it’s at home. I was planning to wait.” He laughed self-consciously. “I was trying to be patient. But I have to ask this right now. Ava, will you marry me?” The steam from his breath hung in the air, seeming to hold the words in front of her.
“Henry, come back here―” A woman’s voice pulled Ava’s gaze to the lawn just in time to see a little boy barreling down the path toward them.
“I want to see the boats,” the boy called, still running at full tilt as his feet hit the patio. He stopped abruptly as he spotted them. “Whatcha doin’?” he asked Joseph. “Did you lose something? I dropped my tooth once, and we didn’t find it until Mama stepped on it.”
Joseph laughed as a woman swooped in and held out a hand to the child. “Henry, come here.” She smiled at Joseph. “I am so sorry to interrupt.” Her eyes went to Ava, then darted quickly away, but not before Ava spotted the look of pity. “Congratulations.”
“But Mama, I wanna see the boats,” the little boy wailed as the woman scooped him up and passed him to a man who had come down the hill behind them.
The woman gestured toward her and Joseph, and Ava saw the man’s face turn their way. She swiveled her head so he wouldn’t spot her scars too.
“Ava?” Joseph’s voice beckoned to her, but she couldn’t look away from the boy and his parents. They made a striking image under the twinkle lights: mom, dad, and child―all of them perfect.
Ava’s eyes roved up the hill to the reception hall. It was filled with people just like them. Perfect people. People who belonged.
That was what Joseph deserved. He didn’t deserve a wife who would cause people to give him pitying looks. And his children certainly didn’t deserve a mother they wouldn’t want to be seen in public with. One they’d have to make explanations and excuses for.
“Ava?” Joseph’s finger came to her chin, turning her toward him. “What is it?”
She bit her lip, looking from him to the family walking away from the river. She wanted to say yes. So badly that she could feel the ache of it clear through her body. But that wouldn’t be fair to Joseph.
He deserved a normal life with a normal woman.
“I don’t―” She whispered, then broke off. Her lips quivered, and she closed her eyes, but the tears still seeped out. She couldn’t look at him as she said it. “I don’t know.”
Joseph didn’t let go of her hands. Didn’t get up and walk away. Didn’t say anything.
After a moment, she couldn’t stand it anymore. She had to open her eyes.
He was watching her, and nothing in his expression had changed. That love was still there.
“That’s okay,” he said simply. “But just so you know, I’m not going anywhere this time. No matter how long it takes. Because one thing I know―you’re worth waiting for.”
Chapter 37
“How was the wedding last night?” Aunt Lori bustled into the kitchen, grinning from ear to ear.
“I― It was―” A sob ripped out of Ava’s chest, and she pressed a hand to her mouth to keep any more from escaping.
Aunt Lori’s grin changed to alarm, and Ava could only gulp in a breath as Lori rushed to her side and wrapped her arms around her.
When she could finally talk, she said, “He asked me―” She hiccupped around another almost-sob. “To marry him.”
“I can see why that’s so upsetting.” The sarcasm in Lori’s voice stung Ava.
She shook her head. “I don’t expect you to understand.”
Lori stepped back, standing in front of Ava, until Ava had no choice but to look at her. “What?”
Lori’s arms were crossed, her face set. “Do you really think you’re the only one who has imperfections? The only one who feels like life hasn’t been fair?”
“I don’t feel like―”
But Lori’s look silenced her. “You blame Joseph for being caught up in the past. But it’s you, Ava. You’re the one who thinks if you can’t be that perfect girl you used to be, no one will want you. But I have news for you: you weren’t perfect then and you aren’t perfect now. And neither is Joseph. And neither am I and neither is Michael. Or anyone. And yet we love each other anyway. That’s a gift. From God, I imagine. So before you go throwing it away, maybe you should think about that. I’m going to go get ready for church.” Lori strode away, leaving Ava feeling both as if she’d just received the scolding of her life and as if she’d completely deserved it.
“Oh, and by the way―” Lori stopped in the kitchen doorway. “Michael asked me to marry him last night. Or well, technically, I asked him. Or well― The point is, we both said yes.”
“What?” Ava was certain she’d heard wrong.
But the grin that burst onto Lori’s face confirmed the words.
Ava sprang from her chair and threw herself across the room to hug her aunt. “I’m so happy for you. But what― How―” She blew out a breath. “You know what, tell me on the way to church. I need to go get dressed.”
Joseph set the dogs on a grueling pace toward his and Ava’s park. His legs pumped hard, though exhaustion pulled at his limbs after being up until the wee hours to help transport Asher
and Ireland’s wedding gifts. And then he’d spent the rest of the night in and out of sleep, praying every time he woke up that God would give him peace with whatever Ava decided. That he would give them both clarity.
He reached the park in record time and pulled the dogs to a halt. He unclipped their leashes to let them explore, then lifted his hands to his head, elbows out, waiting for his breathing to slow.
Wisps of vapor hovered above the glassy surface of the river, its current barely discernible in the soft morning light that reflected the leafless tree limbs.
He tilted his head back, taking in the flawless blue of the sky, the trill of the birds waking, the smell of the cold, fresh air. A finger of light burst through the bare trees across the river, landing on his face.
And a powerful realization came over him: this was God’s creation. Every last bird, every last tree, every last wisp of fog.
“All right, Lord,” he prayed. “I get it. You are all powerful. You made all of this. You made us. You know what is best for us. Help me to trust you in this. To wait peacefully. And to submit to your will, whether she says yes or no. To love her as you love me, no matter what. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
He stood there, just watching the river, until the dogs bounded back to his side.
“All right, girls. Let’s go home.” Peace settled over him as he started toward home at a slower pace.
God showed him patience every day.
And he would do the same for Ava, no matter how long it took.
When he got home, he took a quick shower, then dressed for church and ate a piece of toast, throwing the crusts to the dogs.
“I’ll be back to pick you up after church,” he reassured Tasha as he put his dress shoes on. They were going to the Children’s Hospital today for an early Christmas party. He glanced at the piles of presents he and Ava had shopped for together over the past few weeks and then spent evenings wrapping together. The whole time, he’d felt like it was a rehearsal for someday, when they had kids of their own to shop and wrap for. The whole time, the ring had sat in his dresser, just waiting for him to pull it out and ask her. But he’d known she wasn’t ready yet.
Pieces of Forever: A Christian Romance (River Falls Book 1) Page 18