The same way Mr. Devereux’s hand had an hour earlier.
Her stomach did a backflip.
“I know I said I’d be patient, and I’m trying.” He pressed his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. “I know how important it is for you to make sure we don’t hurt Blue. That we don’t make her any promises we can’t keep. That we make sure this is completely right. I guess I lose it sometimes because I’m…” His eyes blinked open and searched hers, voice softening. “I’m all in.”
“Rocco—”
“I’ve been all in since that day in the bathroom when Blue threw up all over me.”
Even Stella couldn’t help the chortle that raced up her throat, and he laughed softly with her.
“I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone as badly as I wanted to kiss you right then, even if both our breaths smelled like old breast milk. I deleted my Tinder account that night because I knew… I knew I’d never want to be with another woman again. Only for you to download the app for the first time.”
“Rocco, I didn’t know. I didn’t know you’d deleted it for me. Oh god, and you had to listen to me boasting about it. About how easy it was to swipe right. And then that date with Paul—”
He shushed her. “It doesn’t matter now. All that matters is… is that I’ve never cared about any women in the world as much as I care about you. As much as I care about Blue. I know, for all our lives, you’ve watched me be the kind of man no woman in her right mind could ever want or take seriously. You watched me promise I’d never love another woman for as long as I lived, after the only one I ever opened up to, cheated on me at Sadie Hawkins.”
She rolled her eyes at the thought of the first and only girlfriend she’d ever seen Rocco with, in middle school. “God, people get cheated on every day, Rocco. Do middle school relationships even count? You’ve really gotta get over it, babe.”
“I opened up to that girl, and she spat all over it. Ripped my heart clear outta my chest like it was nothing. That day I said never again would I give another woman that chance. That power. I didn’t think I ever would… or could. Not until you and Blue. You two are my… my family. My heart. The air I breathe. I wake up every morning and the first thing I think about the two of you. I go to bed every night wishing you were lying next to me. I’ve never known what it felt like to have a beautiful woman—and a beautiful baby girl—waiting at the door for me after an op. Worrying about me. Praying that I was okay. Now that I know that feeling… I won’t ever let it go. There is no other woman I will ever want again or want more than I want you, Stella. So I guess that’s why… why I get so upset when you keep shutting me out.”
“I’m not trying to shut you out, Rocco—”
“Is it because I can’t afford an Armani suit like that asshole you’re still making exceptions for—”
“Fuck him,” she spat, with enough venom to make his eyebrows shoot up. “He’s trash. You’re twice the man he could ever be, Armani suit or not…”
A gentle smile crossed his face.
“I guess I’m just… trying to save you.” Shame crossed her face at the thought of Mr. Devereux. “Because that man is actually—”
“Save me from what?” He jumped in, astonished.
Her stomach hit her feet at how hard he was making this.
“Save me from the pleasure of feeling your body against mine when I wake up every morning? From kissing you in public, for the whole world to see? From being inside you at every opportunity I can manage? If that’s what you’re trying to save me from, baby, I’d rather drop dead at your feet right now.”
“I’ve destroyed your whole life.”
“You’ve changed my life for the better. You’ve made me the kind of man I never thought I could be. The kind of man I never thought I wanted to be. If I’d gone to Quantico after the raid, I would’ve been the same shell of a man I’ve been my whole life. The man who had no idea how goddamn good it felt to look at you right now and know that you’re mine. To… to have a family. A real family, that’s truly his. I don’t want to be that man anymore, Stella. Now, all I want to do is take care of you. You and Blue. But right now… mostly you…” He smiled, running his hands tenderly down her cheeks, past her collarbones, and over the swell of her breasts, both of which he covered with his splayed fingers. She gasped softly as he gripped them. “So let me.” He popped the button of her blazer, pushed open the flaps, and squeezed her breasts again. “Let me take care of you.”
“What happened to 50/50?” she teased, even as her breath grew haggard as his thumbs stroked her hardened nipples through her shirt.
“How about 100/0?”
“100/0? No way in hell you’re capable of—” She squealed when he bent down and swept her off her feet before she could finish, carrying her across the office to the desk. She tightened her arms around his neck when he swept her Statistics and International Business textbooks off the desk, letting them clunk down to the floor. She had half a mind to remind him the outrageous amount of money she’d paid for those miserable books, but the smile on his face wouldn’t allow it.
She couldn’t help smiling softly back at him as he set her on the edge of the desk, their lips meeting in a heated kiss. They moaned together as it deepened in seconds, tilting their heads and spreading their lips wide like two people taking the biggest spoonful of sweet ice scream that their mouths would allow. The smack of their lips bounced off the walls as they devoured each other, their hungry lips eventually fusing together as they gave more of their attention to their greedy hands, running every inch of each other’s bodies as they could.
“God, you taste so good,” he gasped, pulling back for only a moment before his lips plundered hers once more, kissing her with so much intention she swore she could feel his racing heart through his tongue as it swept against hers. “I wanna taste all of you, baby.”
“Rocco…”
“100/0…” he promised, his smile vanishing when he squeezed her thighs before letting his fingers travel under her knee-length skirt, guiding the fabric upward until the lace hem of the black thigh-high stockings were revealed, held up by matching garter straps.
“You’re so beautiful, Stella.”
“Rocco…” She bit her bottom lip as his touch lit fire to her body when he raised her skirt high enough to pool around her waist, revealing her black lace panties, not even realizing her thighs had spread open until he began sinking to his knees between them, his eyes never leaving hers. “I really have to tell you somethi… oh—oh god…”
Words escaped her when he pushed her panties to the side, green eyes gazing up at her from between her chocolaty thighs, and ran his tongue firmly up her slippery folds, making them even wetter with desire than they’d already been at just his touch. Her eyes closed tight, whimpering at the amazing blast of pleasure that shot through her body, digging her fingers into his hair as he sucked her clit between his lips, the music of his tongue lapping against her cavern the only thing overpowering her gasping breaths.
The muscles of her thighs tensed around his head as he circled the sensitive bud with his tongue, over and over, before giving it a break to bestow the rest of her aching pussy with the same attention, drawing the soaking lips into his mouth and suckling those as well, thrusting his tongue into her entrance until it was gushing with need, and moving even lower than that, to her second entrance, proving just how much he’d meant it when he’d said he wanted every inch of her.
He knew just what to do, and just where to go, and didn’t leave her throbbing clit lonely for long. She let out a scream when it found itself against his hungry tongue once more, along with two thick fingers sinking inside her entrance.
Her thighs parted even more as she thrashed against the desk, nearly pulling his hair straight from the scalp when every inch of blood in her body seemed to shoot to her center as he swirled his fingers inside her, finding her G-spot like he’d built it himself. He plundered his fingers in and out of her pussy at the same pace as his tongue con
tinued caressing her clit. Egged on by the sounds of her strangled cries going hoarse until all she could do was gasp in each haggard breath.
“Don’t stop, oh god, please don’t stop.” She ground her hips against his mouth and her g-spot against his swirling fingers, unable to decide which one was bringing her more pleasure as her entire body felt like it had swelled up to the size of a balloon, one false move from exploding to bits.
And explode she did, her heart blasting so fast it made her voice tremble as she cried out, her stomach squeezing tight, contracting, before exploding all over her body. Her center spasmed and contracted around his fingers and mouth, and he nodded as she came, as if the flavor of her cum against his tongue had somehow become ten times sweeter and the cavern his fingers plundered ten times more slippery, making it clear to him that she was riding the hardest wave of her life.
“Mmmhmmm….” He rode that wave right alongside her, his torrid green eyes never leaving hers as she writhed and thrashed against him.
He didn’t let up even as she collapsed back on the desk, gasping in each breath, keeping his patient mouth on her pussy and his fingers deep inside her, accepting every residual spasm, twist, and jerk that came with the aftermath of her orgasm until she reached down and seized his arms with an amazed laugh.
“Rocco, I can’t, oh god.” She made a sound that was a toss-up between laughter and agony as he continued savoring her long after she’d finished, unable to decide if the aftershocks were amazing or unbearable. “Rocc—cc-cc-ooooo! Okay—okay!”
He smiled from between her legs, giving her pussy one last, tender kiss before he pulled back, his mouth gleaming with her resolution. Sliding his fingers out of her, he looked at the gleaming digits like a man starved before he met her eyes and wrapped his lips around them, sucking her flavor off his skin.
Stella watched him, amazed.
But just as soon as the astonished smile was on her face, it was gone.
All along, she’d been wrong about him. Mr. 50/50 was actually Mr. 100/0.
Unfortunately, he hadn’t been wrong about her.
She was the person he’d always believed she was.
A different breed.
And his decision to give up his life—and his dreams—for her, would surely prove to be the biggest mistake he’d ever make.
19
Stella was thankful that Rocco had used his skilled mouth to render her utterly incapable of speaking even the most basic English at the spa earlier that day, let alone making the colossal mistake of telling him the truth about Mr. Devereux.
Mr. Devereux had said it himself, Rocco had taken him around the neck just for looking at her the night of the raid. God only knew what Rocco would do if he found out Mr. Devereux was attempting to blackmail her for sex. And after Mr. Devereux had told her that he’d made a sizable contribution to the wife of Rocco’s lieutenant—who was in the midst of a city council campaign that was neck-and-neck—she hadn’t hesitated to verify it with a quick Internet search. To her complete horror, Mr. Devereux hadn’t lied. He’d donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to help ensure the wife of Rocco’s boss won the seat, ensuring that, even if Stella did decide to make a counter-attack and blow the whistle on Mr. Devereux—that he’d been there the night of the raid as well—the only people who’d surely be punished in the end would be her and Rocco.
Even though the spa was doing better than ever, setting record profits, Stella and Rocco were still getting on their feet. They didn’t have the means to buy their own protection the way Mr. Devereux did. A wealthy man like him rarely had the capacity to accept the word ‘no’, and even more rarely made promises they didn’t keep. If she didn’t join Mr. Devereux at the Four Seasons, she had no doubt he’d rat, and Rocco would lose his job. He’d already lost the FBI on account of her. If he lost his livelihood, too, she didn’t know how she’d survive it.
So she hadn’t told him.
She’d leaned on him enough.
She had to solve this on her own.
She closed her eyes to fight away the thoughts as she made her way down the hallway of their home wearing red plaid pajama shorts and a matching long sleeve top. She peeked quietly around the corner toward Rocco’s voice, which she could hear from the kitchen. She loved catching him and Blue alone together. It always promised a beautiful vision that helped her sleep better at night and put a smile on her face all day long. Even as she struggled to traverse the constant ups and downs of going back to school and being a new business owner, moments like this made it all a little more bearable.
Leaning forward in one of the kitchen chairs in only a pair of sweats, facing Blue’s high chair, Rocco slid a spoonful of mashed peas into Blue’s mouth, which she immediately spat out with a cringe. He wiped it from her chin before it could hit the white tray table below before taking another spoonful and guiding it to her tightly sealed lips.
She clenched her fists and shook her head wildly. “No!”
“You’re not gonna bully me into only feeding you watermelon and bananas for the rest of your life, that’s what you’re not gonna do. You need vegetables.” Rocco set her spoon back in the jar on her tray table and picked up the fork off his own plate, which was piled high with a T-bone steak, peas, and potatoes.
The moment he cut a piece of steak and put it in his mouth, Blue whined, her mouth curling down in dismay.
He picked her spoon back up as he chewed and guided it to her mouth.
She snatched her head away with a scream.
He shrugged and went back to his own plate, inhaling a huge dollop of his mashed potatoes.
Blue slammed her palms onto the tray of her high chair, kicking and screaming with every bite he took.
“So if you ain’t eating, I ain’t eating either, huh? That’s how it’s gonna be?” He tried to feed her again, and this time, she opened her mouth wide, accepted the peas, and didn’t spit it out, chomping happily. “You just like saying no, don’t you? Even when you wanna say yes. Just like a woman.”
As she smacked on the peas, he tried to take another quick bite of his food, but she slammed her fists on her tray again, nearly knocking the peas off the table with a whine.
“Oh, so I can’t eat, period? Oh, okay.” He fed her again, fighting a smile. “Spoiled. Just like your momma.”
Stella’s mouth dropped open in offense from where she was still lingering in the shadows, even as a smile tried to overtake it.
Rocco was smiling too, but at Blue, his eyes running her face. “Thinks she can get away with it, ‘cause she’s so beautiful… And she’s not wrong.”
Stella blushed.
“I want you to listen to me, Blue. This is important,” he said, just after she accepted another big spoonful of peas, kicking happily. “It’s so important that, as a woman, you understand your power… your absolute and complete POWER over boneheaded schmucks like me.”
Stella clapped a hand over her mouth.
“Guy’s like me will never admit it. They’ll lie right to your face every time. Because they’re never gonna want you to know the truth about just how powerful you really are. That’s why you have to listen to me. Because I love you, and I’ll always tell you the truth. You are the gatekeeper, you are the first cause, and you are in control. Always. You understand? Never give yourself to a man who hasn’t earned it. Never give a man more than he’s willing to give to you. If you don’t want to do something, never let some jack-off convince you that your feelings are wrong. If he threatens to walk away, ask him if he needs some snacks for the road. If he says he’s gonna jump the fence for greener pastures, ask him if he needs a damn boost over that fence…”
Stella bit back a laugh.
“Sorry I cussed,” he whispered, feeding her another spoonful. “It’s just, I know how men are gonna try to play you, and manipulate you because I used to be the same way. But see, I’m gonna put you up on all the game. By the time you hit the playground, you’re gonna be so hip to these numb-nuts and their nonse
nse that the ones who aren’t worthy of you won’t even attempt to waste your time. They’ll be too afraid to approach you at all. Listen, never chase a man, alright? Never entertain a man who doesn’t have a job. Never let him live under your roof for free. Never try to raise a grown man like he’s a little boy. Never let him talk you into 50/50 when you deserve 100/0. At worst, 80/20, baby. At worst. You’re too pretty to settle for anything less. Even if you weren’t pretty, you still wouldn’t have to settle, that’s how much power you have. Your momma always knew. She’s always known the truth. Women like her are the reason I never…” He suddenly paused, eyes going to a vacant place.
Then, his gaze fell, and he pinched the insides of his eyes with a chuckle.
Stella stepped out of the shadows, eyebrows clenched, just as Rocco looked back up with a deep breath. His eyes immediately sensed her entering and shifted toward her. He smiled, erasing the troubled look that had been in her eyes a moment earlier.
“You know, I can feed her,” she said, softly, a hint of concern in her voice.
“Nah, I got it. I like doing it.”
It was actually his favorite thing to do, Stella had noticed over the months. He always managed to beat her to the punch when it came time to feed Blue, freeing her up to focus on her schoolwork and the spa. She’d lost count of how many times she’d walked in on him giving Blue life lessons and pep talks when he didn’t think she could hear. “Stranger Danger” had been the topic of discussion all last week, and apparently “Girl Power” would be the talking point that week. If feeding Blue was his favorite thing to do, eavesdropping on him feeding Blue was definitely hers.
As Stella made her way closer, he stood from his seat and lifted Blue out of her high chair, cradling her on his hip before he made his way toward Stella.
They met in the middle, their lips instantly finding each others’ in a soft kiss.
Stella breathed him in as deeply as she could, running her hands up his chest, parting her lips to deepen the kiss.
Forbidden (War Book 1) Page 23
