"That's because my wife adores me," Jason said, sounding smug.
"No, that's because you're a pig," Brad pointed out.
"Shut up, you bastard!"
"The order should be here soon," Zoe said, ignoring Jason's rant. "So, if there's nothing else I'm going to-" she started only to be cut by a loud crash in her apartment.
"What the hell was that?" Trevor asked, moving to check it out only to have Zoe jump in front of him.
"Nothing?" she said quickly.
"Nothing?"
"Well, um," she said, nibbling her bottom lip as she shot her closed door a nervous look. "That is, you see, um, I um, have company," she said, wringing her hands together.
He threw her a disbelieving look as he looked pointedly at her light teal baby top that showed an incredible amount of cleavage that his eyes may have lingered on for a second or two before moving down to her dark blue plaid pajama pants that he knew from prior experience would give him a really good view of her ass if she turned around.
"Company?" he asked in clear disbelief as his eyes returned to her face to find her blushing rather adorably.
"Yes?"
His lips twitched. "You're not sure if you have company or not?"
"No, I mean yes. I, um, that is I-"
"She probably has a date," Jason suggested from the living room, cutting Zoe off.
"Yes, that's it. I have a date?" she quickly agreed, but really didn't sound all that sure.
"A date?" Trevor asked hesitantly, wondering if she mentioned it this morning and he simply forgot. Then he frowned, wondering what kind of asshole couldn't fork over a few dollars to take his date out. He didn't like the idea of anyone taking advantage of Zoe, well, besides him of course.
"Yeah, so I should probably return to him," she said, moving towards her apartment door only to come to a halt when the doorbell rang. With an exasperated sigh she reached around him and snagged his wallet out of his back pocket and promptly shoved him into his apartment and closed the door in his face, leaving him stunned.
"I like her," Brad said, chuckling.
"For a Red Sox tee shirt wearing woman I guess she's okay," Jason grumbled.
"Does no one care that she just manhandled me?" Trevor demanded, facing the men who should be properly outraged on his behalf.
Jason snorted. "As long as she brings me food she can bitch slap you and call you spanky."
Trevor narrowed his eyes on the men who dared laugh at his pain.
Betraying bastards.
"All set!" Zoe yelled.
After throwing one last menacing glare at the bastards who either laughed at him or ignored him, Trevor opened his door just as Zoe's was practically slammed shut. Seconds later he heard the telltale sounds of the lock clicking.
He quickly moved out of the way as Jason shoved past him to get to the large piles of takeout bags and boxes Zoe left on the floor and couldn't help but wonder what Zoe was hiding.
Chapter 10
"Wouldn't you rather have this old tennis ball?" Zoe asked, holding up the ball and nearly crying in frustration as Toby licked Mr. Cuddles' face and laid his muzzle across her poor defenseless bear's stomach.
"This is so much more fun," she said, tossing the tennis ball in the air and catching it. "See?" she said, giving him a hopeful look that he simply ignored.
"Hey! Don't lick that!" she pleaded as he licked poor Mr. Cuddle's eyes.
"Zoe?" Trevor said through the wall. "Is everything okay?"
Damn it.
"Um, yeah, Everything is fine?" she said loudly, shifting nervously as she wondered not for the first time what the hell she was going to do with a dog.
Sooner or later Trevor was going to find out about Toby and send them both packing since there was no way she was going to be able to keep a dog a secret for very long. She thought she was going to have a heart attack a few hours ago when Toby knocked over her stack of books while she was talking to Trevor in the hallway. Her quick thinking certainly hadn't saved her ass, she thought dryly.
Toby chose that moment to bark while his tail thumped happily against her bed.
"Shhhh," Zoe hissed quietly. Oh god, the dog was about to sell her ass down the river.
"What the hell was that?" Trevor demanded.
"Um, my date?" she said, feeling like an idiot.
"Your date?"
"Yeah, we're um, you know, um having sex?" she said, wondering when this hell would end as she dropped her face into her hands, feeling like a moron.
"If you're having sex then why are you talking to me?" Trevor demanded, sounding oddly suspicious. She could have sex if she damn well wanted to. Okay, granted she did want to, but she lacked a willing partner since she really didn't know any available guys. Something she planned on fixing soon, but not the problem at the moment.
"Intermission?" she said, wondering why the hell everything out of her mouth was coming out as a question. Oh that's right, because she just plain sucked at lying.
"Well," she heard him clear his throat, "I'll just leave you to it then." A minute later she heard his bedroom door shut and she dropped back on the bed in relief. If Trevor didn't kill her when he found out what she was hiding then all this stress damn well would.
"I hate this," she grumbled.
Toby let out a little whimper.
With a little sigh she looked over to find Toby pouting with his muzzle once again resting on Mr. Cuddle's stomach. "Not you, buddy. None of this is your fault," she said, reaching over to give him a little scratch behind his ears.
"Oh that's good to know," Trevor drawled from her doorway, scaring the living hell out of her.
************
"This isn't what it looks like!" Zoe managed to say as she gasped for air and tried to hide the large puppy on her bed by stepping in front of it.
"It's not?" he asked in a bored tone and nearly rolled his eyes when she tried to discretely toss a throw blanket over the poor dog.
"No?"
She was such a horrible little liar, he thought, but appreciated it all the more since it meant that she would never be able to pull anything over his head.
He leaned back against the door frame, crossed his arms over his chest and nodded towards the bed. "Then what's that?"
"A blanket?"
"Uh huh, did you know that your blanket is moving?" he asked, watching as the puppy began playfully wrestling with the blanket.
Zoe nibbled on her bottom lip, drawing his attention. He had to admit that he liked her lips. A cute little top with just the right amount of curve and a pouty little bottom lip that made him wonder if they were as soft as they looked.
Holy hell he needed to get laid if he was checking her out, which he was. It was happening more frequently than he'd like to admit and truly frightening him since she was in no way his type. If he didn't think lack of sex was responsible he'd be worried about all those late night fantasies he'd been having about her.
"The house is infested?" she said, sounding like a question again. He idly wondered if she realized she was doing it.
"I see," he murmured, looking around the obscenely clean and tidy bedroom. There wasn't a dust ball to be found, a crumb of food or a single thing out of place much like his place. He had to admit that she did great work even if she was a horrible little liar.
"So, that thing on your bed beneath the blanket is......," he prompted.
She noticeably swallowed as she dared a glance over her shoulder. "A huge rat?"
"Then why didn't you tell me the house was infested?" he asked, trying not to laugh at the expression of pure panic on her face while she tried to come up with a suitable lie.
"I didn't want to scare you?"
"That was really nice of you," he said, pushing away from the door. He walked over to the bed and reached past her to tug the blanket off the playful pup. "Oh, look at that. It seems we're also infested by puppies," he mused, folding his arms over his chest while he stared down at her, cocking a brow as he silently
dared to her to try and bullshit her way out of this one.
He watched as her mouth worked soundlessly for a moment before she worried her bottom lip between her teeth and nodded as her shoulders sagged with defeat. "We're not infested," she mumbled.
"No shit," he snapped, making her jump and not caring one bit as all the humor from the situation disappeared. She not only ignored one of his rules, one of the rules he'd like to point out that she agreed to, but then lied about it and tried to hide it from him.
"I'm sorry," she said softly.
"Sorry's not good enough, Zoe. You signed a rental agreement that clearly stated no pets, but you went and got one anyway."
"I know," she said unhappily.
"Good. Then you can bring it right back to where you found it," he told her.
"I-I can't do that," she said quietly, shooting another look over her shoulder at the dog.
"Where did you get him?" he demanded, already reaching for the dog. He pulled the good size puppy into his arms, ignoring the tail wagging against his leg and the little puppy licks he was giving his neck.
"The shelter," she answered, twisting her hands together.
"Good," he said, heading for the door.
"Where are you going?" she demanded, following him out into the short hallway.
"The shelter. Where else?" he asked, heading down the stairs. Anyone else and he would have told her to pack her shit up and move out, but this was his little tenant and he didn't like the idea of tossing her out. So the only choice of course was getting rid of the puppy, who was currently tickling his neck with its whiskers.
He heard her gasp behind him. "You can't do that!" she cried, running around him and plastering herself against the door.
"Watch me," he said, heading for the backdoor only to find his path once again cut off.
"No, I'm serious," she said, holding up her hands to stop him. "As much as I would like a dog I wasn't going to keep him, but I couldn't leave him there."
"Why the hell not?" he asked, getting mildly annoyed now with the bullshit. "You're not keeping this dog, Zoe, so get the hell out of my way."
"No!"
"Zoe," he bit out between clenched. "Move your little ass right now or I swear to god I will put you over my knee."
"Look, I knew I couldn't keep him, but I also couldn't leave him there. They were going to put him down today. I was just trying to buy some time so I could find him a nice home," she said in a rush, reaching out to pet the dog almost as if she couldn't stop herself.
"Aw, hell," he said, dropping his head back and closing his eyes. She just had to go and say that.
"I knew you wouldn't be happy and I did leave. I really did, but halfway to my car he started crying and barking and I just couldn't leave him there," she said, sounding close to tears. "I'm really sorry, Trevor."
There was no way in hell he was opening his eyes and taking the chance of seeing her cry. Crying from any other woman usually just irritated the shit out of him, but for some bizarre reason the thought of Zoe crying damn near unmanned him. He knew it probably had something to do with the fact that Zoe was the only woman he'd ever been flat out rude to and that in the grand scheme of things her feelings shouldn't matter, but they did.
With a resigned sigh he put the dog down and stood up, happy to see that Zoe wasn't crying. She looked a little nervous, but he could handle that better than tears.
"I'll help you find someone to take the dog," he started, only to have Zoe cut him off with an excited little squeal and smile that he refused to find adorable. Although he may have noted that certain assets bounced when she got excited, but he pushed that observation from his mind and focused on the problem at hand.
"I'll help you find him a home, but you're not keeping him, Zoe. If we can't find someone to take him in a week then he's going back to the shelter," he warned her.
Zoe wringed her hands together once more as she looked quickly down at the dog and then back up at him. She gave him a firm nod. "He's cute. I don't think we'll have any problems finding a good home for him," she said, making him damn near sigh.
"Whoever wants him can have him, Zoe," he said, holding his hand up to stop the argument that he knew was coming. She wanted the dog to have the perfect home and he just wanted it out of his. "That's the deal. Take it or leave it."
She pursed up her lips and arched her brows in that stubborn expression of hers and he waited for the argument he knew was coming and wanted to avoid. It was late and he wanted to crash, but not before she read to him some more and if she was pissed at him then that might not happen.
Not that he'd admit this to anyone, especially Zoe since it would give her a hold over him, but he really looked forward to their nightly ritual. It was so much better than watching television where he usually just vegged out until he could barely keep his eyes open. Listening to Zoe read was relaxing and enjoyable. He found himself hanging on her every word, ready for more and at the end of the night he usually had to stop himself from begging her to read just one more chapter and surprisingly it had very little to do with the book, although he did enjoy parts of it.
"I think he has to go out again," Zoe said, walking over to the coffee table and picking up a-
"Why the hell are you putting a hot pink leash on him?" Trevor demanded, outraged on behalf of the poor dog.
Zoe frowned up at him as if he were the crazy one. "It's just a leash. Besides it was the last one the pound had to give out," she said, shrugging like it was no big deal.
"You can't put a male dog on a hot pink leash, woman."
"Why not?"
"Because he's a man," Trevor said, exasperated. "What's next? A pink sweater?"
She shrugged sheepishly. "I think he looks cute in pink."
The dog whimpered near the door, drawing their attention. "Alright, I'm coming," she said, walking over to the dog and clipping the leash onto a really cheap thin collar that wouldn't do.
"Do you know if the convenient store on Washburn sells dog food?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at him.
"He doesn't have any food?" Trevor asked, wondering why she took the damn thing when she clearly didn't know what the hell she was doing.
"I gave him the baggie of food they sent home, but I don't think that was enough," she said, frowning as she stumbled over the dog and opened the door.
She really didn't have a clue, he decided. "You don't want to feed him any of that shit they sell at convenient stores. I'll look and see what I can find here, but you're going to have to run out tomorrow and get him some proper supplies."
"Proper supplies," she repeated with a look that said she had no idea what the hell she wasn't supposed to get.
Praying for patience, he gestured for her to move her ass before the dog took a leak on his floor. "I'll go with you to the pet store tomorrow, but after that you're on your own," he said.
"Thank-eek!" she let out another adorable squeak as the dog yanked her to the front door. "Toby!" she cried and Trevor shook his head in disgust, a sissy name on top of a pink collar. Poor bastard, he thought as he headed for Zoe's kitchen.
A quick search through the mostly bare cabinets had him scowling and the search through her practically empty refrigerator had him fuming. He knew she hadn't forgotten to shop or didn't have enough money to buy food. One look at the insane price tag on the box of twigs some sick bastard had the nerve to call food let him know that money wasn't the issue.
She had no meat, no cheese, condiments, juice, milk or anything with flavor. Instead, one entire shelf in her refrigerator was stocked with bottles of spring water and one drawer held a large bag of salad mix and half a cucumber. The only real food in the fridge was the stuff she used to make up his lunches and that only took up half a shelf and he didn't need to look to know that she wasn't eating any of it.
He shut the door with more force than necessary and leaned back against it. She was starving herself and he had absolutely no idea what the hell he should do about it. After a
minute of stressing out about it he decided that it wasn't his place to do jack shit about it. She was a grown woman with a level head on her shoulders. If she was hungry she'd eat. Shoving his opinion on her would only cause problems that he didn't need at the moment so for now he would let it go.
Chapter 11
"But that one's pretty!" Zoe pointed out as Trevor simply sighed as he grabbed the pretty pink princess dog toy out of the carriage and returned it to the shelf.
"He's a male, Zoe. He needs man toys," he stressed, picking up a dull brown rope and tossing it into the carriage along with a few, in her opinion at least, boring looking chew toys.
She gestured to the pink princess chew toy. "Couldn't we just get that and see if he likes-"
"No way in hell," he said, giving her a quick swat on the ass to get her moving.
"Stop doing that," she hissed at him even as she started moving before he could do it again, and she knew he would. He simply shrugged as if it was no big deal and it probably wasn't for him, but it was seriously screwing with her hormones.
It was just another reason for her to get her butt in gear and do something about it and she would. Right after she bought that really cute flowery pink bowl set for Toby.
"Don't even think about it," Trevor warned before she even got into grabbing distance. He reached past her and grabbed two large metal dog bowls and placed them in the carriage with the rest of the stuff that he picked out since every one of her suggestions was met with an exasperated sigh and a few muttered choice words.
"Fine," she said, making a mental note to swing back this way after she finished with her other shopping. The same shopping she was actually pretty nervous about. She'd put it off as long as possible, but if she wanted to make some changes in her life and meet a guy and hopefully have sex again before she was eighty then she'd have to suck it up and do it.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Why?" she asked, stepping past him and that gaze of his that made her feel like he knew what she was thinking. What she had planned tonight was bad enough. She didn't need him finding out about it and embarrassing her about it.
Perfection: A Neighbor From Hell Novel Page 8
