“No.”
That single, tiny word I uttered seemed to echo forever through the empty apartment. Don't let him push you...you push back. I remembered Jay's insistent words from months earlier. At the time I couldn't see why he was so determined to see us together. But that night, it made all the sense in the world. Jay knew Sean had changed, and for the better. He did not want him to devolve into the mercenary puppet he had once been. The one I'd only caught glimpses of.
“I'm not leaving you,” I added in a more even tone. “I have said these words to you before and then betrayed you, but now I'm saying them to you knowing all I ever needed to know. Your past is in the past, Sean. I will no longer punish you for things you did then.” I walked around him, tilting my head slightly to intercept his gaze. “You need to stop punishing yourself for them too.”
Vibrant green eyes met mine. They were filled with a sadness I could only imagine until it swept over me, cloaking me in a depression so deep that the weight of it caused my knees to buckle. Sean's was the real deal, and he had carried it within him for longer than I could fathom. How he hadn't been crushed by the weight of it was beyond me.
Just how invincible was the man I loved?
“How?” he asked, his voice soft and hollow. “How does one forgive such heinous acts?”
“By realizing that who you are is not defined by what you've done,” I told him, pulling up against him to look closer into his eyes. “Those are your ghosts, Sean. Your demons. You control how much they haunt you. Nobody else can.”
“How have you escaped yours?” His eyes would no longer meet mine when he asked.
“By leaning on those who love me when I need it instead of bottling the ugliness up and hiding it away. Emotions aren't the enemy, Sean. They are hardly a sign of weakness. Your past is your enemy. The longer you allow it to control you, the less chance you have of surviving it.” I reached up to his face, guiding it to look upon mine. “You helped me see this. You. No one else.”
“You truly do forgive me, don't you?”
His sad expression bled to one of pure awe and disbelief.
“Yes. It took me taking the hard road, a lot of crying, a lecture from Cooper―”
“Cooper?” he asked, his eyebrow rising, unable to resist the temptation.
“Really long story. The short of it is that he was the one that got me to question my decision,” I explained. Then a wave of sadness overtook me when I realized who it was that had made me fully see reason. “Arianna, however, was the one that told me to forgive you.” He stared at me with wide eyes. “Yeah, so, while you were down trying to make nice with the über bitch, I learned a few things about the fey, essences, and my family tree.”
“It would seem that I learned something about the fey as well. Had I known that they did not go to the Underworld upon death, I could have kept you from all that transpired.”
“Wait—you mean there's actually something you didn't know?” He smirked at me, then shrugged. “Actually, two things,” I continued, “unless you knew that you had been dating royalty.”
His brow quirked further.
“Lucky you, right?”
“I'm aware I'm lucky, Ruby. I was, however, unaware of the royalty part.”
“Well, you know. Sometimes I know things. I'm not always the last one in the loop.”
The faintest of smiles flickered upon his face.
“Apparently not.”
“I wouldn't bank on that happening often, though. This might have been a onetime deal.”
His joking expression slipped away suddenly, exposing the sadness underlying it.
“Speaking of not knowing things,” he said gently. “I truly did not know who Arianna was to you, Ruby. I need you to understand that. I thought at the time that she was there to harm you. I saw her hovering outside your hospital door, and when she looked at me, there was knowledge in her eyes. She knew who I was. And then she ran. When I finally caught her, she admitted what she was. I did not believe her at first, but then she touched me and I felt her power. I could not allow a being that could go undetected by the PC to live, especially not a fey. I know you don't want to hear this—that it pains you—but I truly did believe she was a threat to you.” His eyes saddened. “So I killed her...to protect both you and my brothers.” His hand tentatively brushed my cheek, catching a tear that escaped my eye. “Had I known about Arianna and why she was there that day, things would have been different.”
I pressed my lips into a tight smile.
“She died trying to save me.”
“I see that now.”
“Then she died doing the same when Deimos came for me. But he destroyed her essence. I'm never going to get to see her again.” I swallowed hard against the sorrow that welled up within me. “But, I know that if she had to do it over, she would sacrifice herself again,” I replied, leaning into the strength of his body. “Now as for you, I choose to believe what you say is true, Sean. That's what love helps us do. It helps us see the good through the bad.”
His hand drifted up to my face slowly, catching my cheek in his palm. My hand met his, wrapping around it.
“Then you must love me more than is humanly possible.”
I laughed. Hard.
“That's because I'm not human, or have you forgotten?”
“Touché.”
He cupped my face in both hands and pulled it gently toward his to place a whisper of a kiss upon my lips. I think I actually startled him when I grabbed his face in response and forced a far more deep and passionate kiss upon him in return. The rumble in his chest let me know he approved of my actions.
Before long we found ourselves in the vacant room where his bed had once been, doing what we had done on so many occasions before. But that time was different. That time there was no inhibition, no restrictions, no holding back. That's what happens when secrecy is abolished. It frees you to be with the person you love in every possible capacity. He owned my body, my mind, and my soul that night.
And I, in turn, owned his.
Chapter 42
We spent the next day doing little more than what we had done all night.
Using Sean’s phone, I ordered sustenance from the various places in town whose numbers I had memorized so we could keep up our stamina. And I made sure that Cooper knew I was safe. I also stole a moment to text Gavin and let him know that I would be over to see him later. I wanted to surrender to the bliss that Sean and I had finally found, but even I wasn't that delusional. There were still dangers looming around us, and I couldn't afford to surrender to that luxury for long.
Neither of us could.
“So, can we talk about your creepy brother, Muses? And your vacated apartment? Or are those subjects not worth diving into at the moment?” I asked as I took a bite of greasy pizza while I sat naked on the kitchen island. Sean seemed to be having trouble focusing on the question.
“Topics for another time,” he replied, staring at my chest. “But not because I am unwilling to discuss them.”
I smiled with cheeks full of cheesy goodness.
“I didn't think you were holding out on me.”
“I'm just making sure you didn't.” He walked up to me, nudging his way between my legs as they dangled over the edge. My pizza soon fell to the floor. “And, though I hate to say this, I really do need to get down to Boston. New things have come to light in my absence.”
I pouted shamelessly.
“We need to start working together on this stuff, Sean. I mean it. Gavin, he knows things―knows things like you know things. He can help, if you'll let him.”
He exhaled heavily in an attempt to curtail his body's natural response to mention of the King of the Fey.
“Let me get down there and check in. I've put it off as long as I could. As soon as I know more, I'll call for you and your...uncle.”
“Cooper too. And the boys. And Lyla.”
“Yes, yes. Your menagerie of wolves can come too.”
“Excell
ent.”
He leaned in and kissed me, which was a bad move on his part if he was actually trying to leave. The second my legs wrapped around his waist, the act seemed exponentially more difficult.
As he pulled away from me, his chest rumbled with dissatisfaction. I locked eyes with a far darker pair than the ones I'd just been gazing into.
“We will continue this when we meet again,” he growled, heading back toward his former bedroom to retrieve his clothes.
“Deal.”
By the time I hopped off the counter, he was already returning, fully dressed.
“How do you do that?” I asked, my question laced with incredulity.
“I'm a very talented individual,” he replied playfully, shooting me a sideward glance with the green eyes I adored.
“No arguments here.”
“Good. I will be in touch shortly. See you soon.”
His lips brushed mine softly, making me yearn for more. But before I could lean into the kiss, he disappeared through the apartment door. With a sigh, I walked back to his bedroom and got dressed, then headed back to the kitchen for another slice of pizza. Our bedroom Olympics had really worked up my appetite.
Along the way, my cell phone buzzed from within my jacket pocket. I hadn't even realized I still had it. I thought it was in the TT that had been demolished in the accident. Another problem to deal with.
I fumbled with the phone, trying to read through the partially cracked screen.
Meet at the Friendly Toast in five said the text. It was from Alan.
I looked out into the settling darkness. It was far later than I had thought it was. Time seemed to disappear quickly when locked in Sean's loving arms.
I texted him back that I'd be there and made my way out. The restaurant was less than a five-minute walk from Sean's, which meant that, for only the second time in my life, I'd actually arrive somewhere before Alan. I hoped the shock of it wouldn't put him over the edge.
I soon found myself tucked away in a front-facing booth at the rear of The Friendly Toast alone. The place was moderately full for supper time; families and college students surrounded me, providing some people-watching material to fill the final minutes before Alan arrived. It also helped distract me from my rising anxiety, knowing that this wasn't likely a “welcome back from Hell” meeting. I assumed that he'd learned something in my absence.
While I slyly observed those around me, my eyes fell on a man who appeared to be in his twenties, sitting in a booth that faced my direction. His gaze met mine briefly before returning to his studies. It was awkward and uncomfortable getting caught in the act, so I attempted to avoid looking his direction.
The waiter came with a glass of water and I told him I was waiting for another party. He smiled and quickly made his way to another table, leaving me to myself. I pulled out my phone and checked the time. Alan was a couple minutes late. Not late enough to start worrying yet, but it was out of character for him. Then I remembered the tension between him and Kristy. His tardiness could have had a domestic explanation.
As the minutes passed, the restaurant started to empty. While I took stock of who was left, the twenty-something's eyes met mine again, causing a rush of blood to my face. I felt totally busted and embarrassed. The last thing I went to the Toast to do was give some guy the impression that I was flirting with him.
But apparently that was exactly what I had done. I looked on while he stacked up his books and threw money on the table for his meal. He then made his way along the stretch of booths toward the back of the restaurant—and me. I grabbed my cell phone and immediately started to fiddle with it, trying to appear engrossed in something, but that did nothing to thwart him. I saw his tall frame stop beside me out of the corner of my eye.
“Fun night out on your own?” he asked while I continued to stare at my phone.
“Something like that,” I replied evenly.
“Mind if I sit down?”
“Actually, I'm waiting for a friend,” I told him, looking up to meet his gaze for the third time that evening. He was a handsome guy. Tall with dark blond, closely cropped hair, and a delightfully pouty set of lips that most girls would have dreamt of kissing. Not me. I was all set with that.
“Well, that's just fine since this won't likely take long,” he said, sliding into the seat across the table from mine.
Ruby, please shut this one down quickly. His ego is making me want to come out and play.
“No. It won't,” I said flatly.
“You live around here?” he asked, his eyes sparkling with some kind of anticipation, though I wasn't sure what exactly he thought was coming his way.
“This is going to take far longer than you have if you're starting off like that,” I replied, returning my focus to my phone. It was time to text Alan.
“Fine,” he scoffed, getting up from the booth. “Be that way if you want to.” His books were off the table and in his hands quickly before he started to leave. But before he did, he took one step toward me, leaning down to whisper near my ear. “I'm glad to see you haven't let your guard down. This isn't over yet.”
My nerves spiked through the roof at his words; I thought his implications were of the Utah variety. He sauntered out of the restaurant, dropping a legal file on his way, but he didn't seem to notice. When I'd calmed myself enough to move, I walked to the front of the restaurant and collected what had fallen from his hands. On my way to the front counter to leave it there, I flipped it over to see if I could find a name on it.
And there was. A dead man's name.
Keith James.
I ran back to my booth and grabbed my purse, storming out of The Friendly Toast as quickly as I could. When I broke out onto the street, I frantically searched for any indication of what direction the mysterious man had taken, but there was no sign of him. It was already too late.
Frustrated, I slumped down onto the bench in front of the restaurant and opened the file. It was clear that whoever this person was, he had wanted me to have it. It was no accident that he'd dropped it when he had. The note he left inside for me only further underscored that truth.
I thought you might want these since you went to such great lengths to get them.
A Friend
His words danced through my mind. He knew I had been to the storage unit, and the fact that he'd presented me with evidence I had believed had already gone up in flames told me that he had been there too. But if he had been there, then he was the enemy. Something wasn't adding up, no matter how hard I tried to figure it in my mind. While I tried to sort it out, I absentmindedly thumbed through the black-lined, censored stack of papers, coming upon a pile of photos when I neared the back of the folder. They slid out on the ground, and I scrambled to pick them up before the gusty sea air stole any of them from me.
Once I had them all in hand, I carefully flipped through them. Many were similar to the photos that had been hanging in the storage unit. Military-looking men with large weapons. Werewolves. Nothing that I hadn't already seen.
Until there was.
Amid the stack of photos, there was one that made my blood run cold. The picture looked out of place mixed in with the others. This one had been taken with a high-powered, telephoto lens, the kind that allows you to take secret photographs of someone from a far distance. I stared at the photo, recognizing everyone in it. Two females and a male stood outside a two-story New England home. The man and one woman were talking. The other woman―a wild-haired blonde―leaned against the front steps' railing, waiting for them.
She held a long white cane in her hand.
“Oh my God,” I whispered aloud to myself, my hand trembling while I held the picture of my parents and me up to inspect it more closely. It looked so mundane. So benign. There was nothing in that photo that led me to believe that that day had been anything other than an ordinary day in our lives. So why were we being photographed? Unless... “They knew.” Those two words spoke volumes. Whoever was behind the attack at the storage u
nit, whatever pseudo-military/government organization this was, they knew what nobody else could have known. They knew what my parents had been. Maybe even what I was to become.
With a new sense of purpose, I went back through the photos I had glazed over and really looked at them for any shred of familiarity. Anything that could tell me more about who or what those men were, why they were after my family, and what the connection to Keith James was. While I stared at the black and white photos until my eyes nearly crossed, I finally heard Scarlet stir in my mind. Then she growled. I looked at the photo that had elicited her response. Several uniformed men surrounded what could only have been a werewolf. In hindsight, I should have recognized what I was looking at right away, but I didn't need to. Scarlet was way ahead of me.
The Rev, she said, her words rumbling through my mind. And it was. Keith James was encircled by men wielding assault rifles. They seemed to be in control of him, which was mind-blowing, to say the least. Nothing could control the Rev. Nothing that I had ever witnessed—not even Sean.
But I didn't have long to reflect upon that. Scarlet suddenly howled through my mind so loudly that I feared my ears would bleed. I fought to understand what had set her off this time, and my efforts were eventually rewarded, though not how I expected. Her memory—a memory that I had not wanted to see―played through my mind. The woods. A campsite. Tents. Carnage. Blood. Then all the pieces of my collapsing world fell seamlessly into place around me, showing me the truth that I had never known. The truth the Scarlet had known all along. She had always maintained that Sean did not kill my parents—even when I ranted at him, accusing him of just that. Now I knew her assertion was true. Not because she told me so, but because I could see it for myself. As if watching a horror movie, the kind I always begged Cooper not to rent, I reclined in my mind and let Scarlet's memory of that night in the woods play out before me in vivid detail.
I briefly saw the faces of the men who had attacked me through her eyes. Faces I had seen only seconds earlier in the photo before me. Then, through her eyes, I saw their flesh ripped from their bones while Scarlet, still in human form, tore their bodies limb from limb, piece by piece, relishing in the delight of not only the kill but also the unadulterated freedom she experienced in that moment. She had been let out―uncaged. The beast had been unleashed on those who had murdered my parents and sought to harm me.
STRAYED Page 38
