by A. M. Mahler
“Nothing can go back to normal when someone leaves us, baby. The only solace we have is that Devon is with your father and Lindsey now, and they’re all looking down on us. We have to give the boys a new normal, and all we can do is our best.”
Maggie took my hand and squeezed before tugging me along.
“Come on back to bed, Simon,” she said, as my mother returned to her room. Not knowing what else to do, I followed.
Maggie
T
he design wasn’t finished, but it was ready enough. Jesse paced my office, arms crossed over his chest. I took a deep breath and gathered my tablet and paperwork. It was time for the meeting with Ryan about the Le Mans car.
“What are we going to do if he says no?” Jesse asked.
“He won’t say no,” I said with more confidence than I felt. Of course, he could say no. My initial estimates were for more than two million dollars. I would be asking him to let me bring Willis-Reilly Racing to the main stage. Failure could destroy this company’s stellar reputation.
Failure was not an option.
Well, strictly speaking, I would fail a lot during this process, but I wouldn’t allow it to be the end result. There was always failure in the journey for perfection.
“But what if he does?” Jesse insisted. “It’s a lot of money.”
“Well, if he does, then I’m taking it to Colton Donavan.” It was not my first choice, but I believed in our plan and design. We could win. We would win. I would take WRR international and show the world what I was made of. I would take this men’s club and turn it on its ear. “Ryan won’t say no though. We have an investor.”
Jesse stopped his pacing and looked at me. “What investor?”
“Simon,” I said. And he wasn’t here yet. He told me he would be here for this, but I hadn’t heard from him since I left the house this morning. I didn’t really need him here, but ... well, no. I needed him here. I needed him in my corner.
“Simon?” Jesse asked, clearly astounded His hands dropped to his waist and his mouth fell open. “Are you shitting me?” It occurred to me then that I might have forgotten to tell him about Simon investing.
“He’s going to invest a quarter of a million dollars,” I said. That was a lot of money. Maybe not to someone like Ryan or Colton Donavan, but to a regular guy like Simon? That was a lot. It was the cost of a nice house around here. I also planned on matching Simon’s investment. Not having a life for so many years also left me with a pretty little chunk of change. And if I didn’t have a dog in the fight, how could I convince Ryan?
“That’s a lot of faith to have for a guy that knows nothing about racing and engineering.” But the tone of my brother’s voice did not sound derisive in any way. It was more like he was curious.
“He knows me,” I said. “He believes in me, and he’s making an investment in me and my dreams.”
Jesse held up his hands.
“Hey, I got no beef with the guy. Between the three of us, that’s three-quarters of a million dollars. If he loves you and he treats you well, that’s all I can ask for. I think you should play the field a little more and see who’s out there, but if this is your guy then I’ll stay out of it.”
“He is my guy,” I said firmly, hoping to convey the finality of the situation. The last thing I needed was my brother trying to fix me up. “And I doubt you’ll stay out of it. Who changed your mind about Simon?”
“Ma,” he muttered.
My nervousness about the meeting vanished, and in its place was the terror of having to face the wrath of my mother.
“You told her?” I growled. My fingers tensed into claws. I was going to rip my brother’s traitorous face right off his head. Then we would see what the ladies thought of him with ugly scars from his forehead to his chin. Yes, just thinking about his newly deformed face was calming me down.
“Well, I didn’t know you didn’t tell her,” he tossed back.
“Yes, you did,” I accused, poking a finger at him to show I was serious. “Yes. You. Did. You were telling on me. Jesse Taylor Dalton, you are a snitch.” And we were right back to childhood. Growing up, Jesse and I got along for the most part, but when we fought? It was epic.
“Well, she didn’t freak out,” Jesse said, without admitting his guilt. “She sounded happy for you, if not a little hurt that you hadn’t told her yet. Then she got on my case.”
I felt a twinge of remorse over not getting around to telling my mother about Simon yet. Time just got away from me. Everything happened fast and I was just trying to keep my head above water. In my defense, I honestly thought she would lose her shit over it. I never had a serious boyfriend before, and we were all but living together. I figured she’d be on me about getting married and giving her grandchildren. How could I know she would be cool about it?
Simon burst through the door then. “Did I miss it?” he asked, wide-eyed and panting, rushing up to me.
I shook my head.
“We were just about to head in. What happened to you? I haven’t heard from you all morning. I was getting worried.” I didn’t mean to sound whiny, but this was the first time I was depending on him for a change. In my heart of hearts, I was terrified he would fail me.
He cupped my cheeks and kissed my forehead.
“I was on the phone with a child psychologist for a few hours. Turns out all this behavior is normal.”
I nodded, my anxiety about the presentation returning. That was at least good news about Marcus. Maybe we just needed to work through it, and he would come around on his own. I didn’t know the same version of the kid that Simon did, and I really wanted to.
I nodded my head and turned to my brother.
“Let’s get this done.” I inhaled deeply and let the breath out slowly. I would be fine. I wasn’t presenting to strangers, just my boss. I’d known Ryan for most of my life and had worked closely with him for the last six years. He wasn’t going to bite me. He wasn’t going to make fun of me.
But he could say no, and that was much worse.
Jesse led the way. I carried my tablet and file, and Simon held my hand. In my back pocket was my Jimmy Reilly hat for luck. The three of us looked like we had a meeting with an executioner. At the end of the short walk to Ryan’s office was Jamie, leaning up against the boss’s closed office door with her arms crossed.
“What’s this secret?” she demanded. “Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”
“Because not everything concerns you,” Jesse said. He stood right in front of her and tapped a finger on her nose before he took her by the upper arms and moved her to the side before rapping his fingers on the door and opening it. Jamie fumed as we walked by her. I did feel a little bit of guilt about keeping her in the dark, but if we crashed and burned, the fewer people that knew about my rejection, the better.
Ryan was behind his desk with his feet propped up. And dammit. Jackie was leaning against the credenza behind him. I should have known she would be here. Ryan would never make big decisions regarding the business without her input. I liked Jackie, but I didn’t know her as well as I knew Ryan. And she was a hard sell. I knew if Ryan really liked the idea, he would convince her.
Simon pulled a chair off to the side and out of the way. Jesse walked to the windows and closed the blinds. The TV screen the presentation would be shown on could be seen from the floor below, and we didn’t want anybody to know about this yet. I plugged in my tablet and cued up the slides. Ryan and Jackie eyed each other curiously.
“My interest is piqued, Ms. Dalton,” Ryan said. “What do you have for us?”
I cued up the first slide. “The Twenty-Four Hours of Le Mans,” I began.
“Whuuut?” Ryan said, dropping his feet to the floor. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.
Jackie pushed off the credenza, moved to the little strip of wall between the windows, leaned back, and crossed her arms so she could see the screen head on. “I’m listening.”
“The LMP1,
or Le Mans Prototype 1, gets a four-stroke engine with reciprocating pistons, closed cockpit, minimum weight of eight-hundred thirty-three kilograms and eighteen-inch tires. This is the design concept Jesse and I have come up with,” I continued.
Ryan ran a hand down his face then scratched his fingers through his hair.
“Jesus, I’m getting an erection.” Jackie stepped behind him and smacked him in the head. “Sister. Right. There’s my sister. That helped. Thanks, Jacks. Maggie, just don’t talk about stroking engines anymore.”
I smiled and relaxed. He liked the idea of the car, but I still had to sell him on the price tag. “The LMP2 allows only a Gibson engine, four point two and V eight. The weight for that is nine-hundred thirty kilograms.” I moved through the designs for that car before pausing and taking a sip of water. It was true that I was stopping for dramatic effect.
“And the GTE Pro?” Jackie asked. “That’s where you’re really going here, right? The first two were just to prime Ryan and get his motor running.” Without further stalling, I advanced the slide.
“Fuck, look at that thing.” Ryan popped out of his chair and paced, his eyes never leaving the screen. He wanted this. He wanted it bad. I had him on the hook, but could I reel him in when the price tag came out?
“The GTE Pro,” I said, nodding to Jackie. “It’s a two-door, street legal sports car, with a weight of one-thousand, two-hundred, forty-five kilograms. The Aston Martin Vantage holds the lap record.”
She studied the screen. She was a doctor. Technical details were her thing. She knew enough about cars, their design, and racing to know what she was looking at and make an educated decision. “The Audi?” She asked with a raised eyebrow. “I don’t need to ask you to explain why you picked that. You probably have a dozen reasons.”
“Eighteen.” I said. “They’re all in the paper packet I made up for you and Ryan, along with the financials.”
“I already know it’s in the millions.” She dismissed with a wave of her hand. I didn’t know how to interpret that. Was it a, “Nice try? I’m not dropping millions on your dream,” or “Whatever, money’s not an option for me”?
“Then you probably also know that the first two orders will pay the costs of the race and car.” I said. “This is street legal. I guarantee at least Colton will want one. And if he gets one, others will follow. He lost his mind over the stock car, which isn’t street legal. This would send him brainless.”
“Crazy ass mother fucker will probably want to drive it in the race,” Ryan said. That would be epic, but I doubt his wife would allow it.
“That’s fine, too. More visibility for us,” I said. “Jesse, Simon, and I are already in for a quarter of a million each,” I continued. “Ryan could secure sponsorships or other investors.”
“Le Mans is the most dangerous race there is,” Jackie said. “It would be a hell of a liability, and if the worst happens, it will bankrupt this business. There’s more than just glory here to consider. We’ll need time to talk through it.”
“I didn’t need to talk through it,” Simon interjected from the corner. “She told me her dream, and I offered her money. If she truly is the best in the business, there’s no risk here. She’s not going for a participation trophy or to merely make a good showing. We all know she won’t take a car there that she’s not one hundred percent sure she can win with. The only real question is if you want to expand in the way she’s offering. And why wouldn’t you? Look. She’s Maggie fucking Dalton. I don’t pretend to know everything about the racing business, but Colton Donavan about fell to his knees and kissed her feet. You could probably get him to invest.”
Jackie stared him down. To his credit, he didn’t look intimidated. And in that moment, I almost didn’t care if she did pass on the project. Simon’s unfailing belief in me made me soar.
“That’s all great, Simon,” Jackie said, coldly. I didn’t know her to be a cold person, but I also rarely dealt with her on the business end of things. She was the level-headed side of the business where Ryan was the dreamer. I realized then that it was never a question of whether or not I could convince Ryan, but a question of if Jackie was willing to risk her brother’s professional destruction, and she was notorious for being extremely protective of all her siblings. “But it’s not your name that will be splashed all over international news. And it’s not your father’s legacy on the line here. To say nothing of the fact that we are risking a fifty-six-million-dollar business that my brother started from nothing. This is about more than one person’s dream.”
I thought of the hat in my back pocket. “Your father was one of the greatest drivers in the history of stock car racing,” I said, the words spilling out of me before I thought about them. “You do have to think about his legacy. This race is every driver’s dream. It would have been his, too.”
Jackie shook her head, as Ryan sat back down and rested his elbows on his knees again. He dropped his head. That was not a good sign.
“You didn’t know him, Maggie,” she said, standing on the other side of the room with her arms crossed. She took the sting out of her tone, but the words hurt me, nonetheless. “My father was a simple man with simple goals. Make no mistake. He wanted nothing more than to win the cup series with his daughter by his side. He got in over his head, and the sport that he loved so much killed him. He was flawed. I loved him, but there was never any point in his life where he was perfect. Sometimes he made very bad decisions that had far-reaching consequences, but he was a good father and beloved by fans. Since his death, he’s been deified by the racing world. But the reality of him is, he was just a regular man that liked to drive fast.”
I could feel my skin heat and my heart start to pound. She was wrong. She wasn’t there in the garage that day when Jimmy gave me his hat. She didn’t see what I saw.
I reached behind me and fingered the old hat there, fighting the racing of my heart. Somewhere in the echo of the tunnel my mind was caught in, I heard Simon’s voice. “That wasn’t necessary.” He snapped and stood up. I never heard him that angry—not even with his drunk cousin at his brother’s funeral. “What difference does it make how she sees him? Her memories of him are her memories. They have nothing to do with you or your memories of your father.” I couldn’t look up. Couldn’t meet Jackie or Ryan’s eyes while Simon continued. “You have no right to cast a shadow on what inspires her. You don’t want to be involved in this because of the insurance risks? Fine. That’s your prerogative and your call to make. We all know she will win this. And when she does, all she needs is ten orders to make everyone twenty million dollars. Ten people in the world to buy that car. She declares it a limited edition and she can sell the last one at auction for twice the cost. She’s got the brains, and the guts, and the heart to make this happen. My money is on her. I understand you not wanting in, but you do not get to take away a single piece of her innocence. It’s unforgivable.”
Ryan lifted his head and glared at Simon.
“Watch it,” he growled. He stood up and moved to his sister’s side in a show of solidarity.
Simon shook his head before disconnecting my tablet and gathering my file.
“No,” he said. “You want to fire me for being insubordinate, fine. My portfolio is solid. But everyone in this room knows you can’t afford to lose her.” Though his words were harsh, his touch was gentle as he took my hand to lead me out of my boss’s office.
I put a hand on Simon’s arm and looked up at Ryan and Jackie. Jackie looked a little shocked by Simon’s speech and Ryan looked, well, he had his serious face on and that was never a good sign. It wasn’t often we saw that expression from him.
“I would really like you on this project,” I said quietly. “I will win this. But if you pass, I’ll do this without you.” I linked my hand with Simon’s, and he led the way out of the office. Jesse followed without saying a word. We filed past a wide-eyed Jamie and walked down the steps and straight out the front door.
Jesse stayed behind by
the building as Simon and I walked down the short stretch of dirt road to Ryan’s house and got in Simon’s Jeep. I pulled Jimmy’s hat out of my pocket and set it in my lap. Was I wrong about him? I didn’t claim to know him well—or almost at all—but maybe I put too much stock in a short memory of him. Feeling hurt and confused, I ran my finger gently along the worn brim, suddenly reconsidering some pretty big choices I’d made based on that one clip in time.
As we passed the barn, I saw Jamie had come out and stood by Jesse. They were talking, and I imagined Jesse was filling her in on what happened in the office. I didn’t want to see her. I didn’t want to see anyone from WRR. I was lost in thought as Jackie and Simon’s words played over in my head.
How did it end that way? I never intended for it to get adversarial, and I certainly had not planned to bring Jimmy Reilly into it. All I wanted to do was give them the design specs, the price, and the business plan for it all. Did Simon just quit his job because of me? Or was he going to get fired for telling off the owners of the business? I couldn’t get Ryan without Jackie. I knew I wanted WRR on board with this project. They were always my first choice. But I didn’t realize how utterly devastating it would be to me if they said no. Of course, logically, I knew that was always a possibility. But somehow, I kept it pushed to the back of my mind.
Simon took my hand, but I shook him off. Why had I just done that? The way he came to my defense like that was amazing. Ryan and Jackie may not think so, but it meant a lot to me and likely my brother, too. I felt his eyes on me before he sighed heavily and looked back to the road. I just didn’t understand why something that started so positive had ended so ugly.
As soon as we pulled into the driveway to Simon’s house, I got out of the car and slammed the door, making a beeline for the house. It was just before lunch, but nobody was in the living room.
Simon tossed his keys in a bowl on the table by the door. “What’s wrong?” he asked. I looked at him in astonishment. “I mean, what specifically. Why aren’t you talking to me? I defended you. What she said, how she treated you, was wrong.”
