by Debbie Kump
Alyssa’s jaw dropped.
Justin noticed her reaction and stopped, frowning. “I know. I must sound like an idiot. I mean, really? Who’d trade immediate access to unlimited knowledge for a little thing like a book? It’s stupid of me to even bring it up.”
“I don’t think it’s stupid.” She wished she could place her hand on top of his to comfort him, but refrained from the breach in rank. Instead, she confessed, “I feel that way sometimes, too.”
He glanced up, his dark eyes locking with hers. “If it were anyone else, I’d say you were just trying to make me feel better. But for some reason…I actually believe you.”
Alyssa spent the remaining hour of the movie doing something she had only dreamed of for so long, actually talking face to face with someone. And not just anyone, but Justin. His smile was infectious, his voice velvety, his eyes sympathetic and understanding. She felt drawn to him, confiding in him feelings she had not verbalized since they’d dove below the surface. They discussed their friends, families back home, and essentially any topic dealing with life topside. Though he had only just graduated from the Academy, he was made a dive officer with his stellar performance on the Navy’s rigorous testing. He wasn’t that much older than Alyssa. And he wasn’t married. So what was holding her back?
Besides, he must feel something too; why else would he jeopardize him career with a secret relationship? Regardless of how her superiors would judge her, she knew this was inevitable. She and Justin had so much in common. Almost like they were meant to be together, whatever the cost. Alyssa could worry later about the repercussions should someone become privy to their budding relationship.
Then the movie ended. The screen went black. Justin slid to the edge of his chair. His face only inches from hers, his breath brushed against her lips. She didn’t pull away.
Even though she knew she should’ve.
The anticipation of this single kiss intensified her feelings for him. Purposefully disregarding all of her previous reservations, Alyssa leaned closer, her mouth nearly touching his. Her heart thudded loudly inside her chest as their lips met, instinctively entwining. Her hands sought his body, drawing him near. His fingers traced her spine, making her shiver with pleasure.
Her desires these last few months finally gratified, Alyssa kissed him softly at first, then with escalating intensity. His fingers knotted in her hair as his lips kept pace with hers. Was he also starved for physical contact these long months aboard the sub?
Impossibly wonderful, Alyssa wished this moment could last forever, content at last in his arms. Inside, Alyssa stirred in longing, as if possessing Eve’s burning desire for that proverbial forbidden fruit from the biblical dawn of humanity.
Suddenly, red lights flashed throughout the Mess Hall, accompanied by a blaring alarm. The siren’s strident wail pierced the silence, annihilating the calm like the thunderous crash heard seconds before a lightning bolt splits the sky, bringing an end to an otherwise insufferably hot and muggy mid-summer night.
Alyssa jerked upright, instantly pushing away from Justin’s embrace. Her initial reaction was one of shock, assuming they’d been caught. Inside her throat, her pulse throbbed wildly. With wild eyes darting around the room, she gratefully noticed they were still alone. “What is it?” she asked between erratic breaths, searching for an explanation to the abrupt end of this much-awaited romantic interlude.
Justin appeared equally stunned. Yet his expression quickly changed, his face radiating calm in the face of a storm as he assessed the situation. “I’ve gotta go. Probably a leak or something,” he explained as he smoothed out his work uniform, his dark eyes sincere. Did she also detect a hint of regret? A glimpse of longing as he scooted off his chair and headed for the door? It was hard to say for sure.
Alyssa remained rooted to her chair, speechless. Her heart thumped outside of her chest, as if she’d just been jolted back to reality. Of course this emergency hadn’t been planned, but it seemed far too coincidental to not perceive it as a warning. A last chance for Justin to change his mind before he made a mistake that could threaten his entire military career.
Alyssa bit her lip, controlling her emotions. What did she expect? That he wouldn’t take the proffered way out?
If their places were reversed, she certainly would’ve done the same.
Before ducking out the door, Justin glanced back at Alyssa, a small grin upon his face. “I’ll catch up with you later, ‘kay?”
Alyssa nodded expectantly, watching him leave.
But later never came.
Chapter Sixteen
Easton Hall Dormitory, Southern Florida State University
PICK UP, ERIK!
“As if,” Erik Weber muttered to himself, ignoring the flashing message from Rachael in his eye DOTS. It wasn’t like he’d replied to any of her previous messages, so why start now? Besides, what could he possibly say? Hey, I saw you hugging another guy today. Erik’s face flushed as he relived the memory. He’d never really thought of himself as the jealous type…until now.
Her message came again, this time in bright red. WE NEED TO TALK.
Erik’s heart sank to the bottom of his chest like a cannon ball. Nothing good ever came from those four little words. So this was it, huh? She wanted to break up. It wasn’t like it should come as a total shock to Erik. He knew the hazards of dating someone in your own dorm–he’d witnessed the awkward break-ups in the past. The discomfort of bringing home another girl and bumping into your ex. Only he never thought it would happen to him.
He’d run into Rachael Gallagher on moving day this year. Literally. Arms laden with boxes, he’d pushed open the doors and didn’t see her small frame over the top. Knocked her flat on her butt. He’d immediately dropped his stuff and apologized, offering her a hand. When he pulled her to her feet, her eyes met his. Bright, bold blue, yet distant. Irritated.
Erik stammered like an idiot, unable to form a complete sentence…and unable to release his grasp. She finally wrenched her hand free and tramped down the hall. For weeks, she successfully ignored him whenever they passed. He couldn’t say he blamed the girl, after flattening her and all. But her avoidance only made him want her more. A challenge he felt destined to overcome.
Then one Saturday night, he bumped into her at a Sigma Delt party. She was wasted and couldn’t stop talking to him. Or anyone for that matter. Nor could she remember where her friends had gone. So Erik volunteered to walk her home. And ended up carrying her back to their dorm where she passed out on her bed.
The next day, she knocked on his door to apologize. Naturally, he blew it off. No one in his right mind would’ve left her there alone. But her attitude toward him had changed. She started talking to him in passing at their dorm. Joined him and his roommate, Lucas, for dinner in the dining hall. She’d walk to class with the two of them. Then with Erik alone.
Sometimes he and Rachael would skip class to meet back in the dorm when they knew their roommates were gone. Erik loved being close to her: touching her, hearing her teasing laugh, feeling the glow of her radiant eyes.
All gone now.
Wistful, Erik remembered those days when they were first getting to know everything about each other. The late nights in the common room talking when they should’ve been studying…and kissing long after the others had gone to bed.
Trying to ignore her the last twenty-four hours had been more than he could bear.
Face it, Erik. She was cheating on you. Still, he couldn’t believe it. That was something he wouldn’t’ve put past a few of his old girlfriends. But not Rachael.
PLEASE, ERIK. PICK UP!
Furious, Erik opened his eyes wide and fished out his eye DOTS, dropping them in an old contact lens case. He peeled off the ear DOTS, too, and took his MUDE out of his jeans’ pocket, tossing them onto the desk in his room.
He needed some space. Someplace to get away from her constant messages. He certainly couldn’t face her now–and hear her say it was over.
Instead, he needed to go somewhere she wouldn’t find him. A place she’d never expect him of all people to be. Not on a Friday night…
The library.
Chapter Seventeen
Erik Weber walked up the Ross Library steps, feeling like a nerd. Who else would choose to come here over the parties on Frat Row?
As he entered, he nodded to the library clerk with a bad case of acne and a mop of thick, black hair working behind the front desk. The kid barely paid Erik any attention in return. With eyes skittering back and forth, he was probably preoccupied with some online video game on his DOTS. Speaking of which, why didn’t Erik bother leaving his in? At least he could’ve streamed a movie or two to pass the time. Then again, Rachael’s frequent texts would’ve undoubtedly popped up. “I want to explain,” she’d claimed.
But there was nothing to explain. He’d caught her with another guy.
End of story.
And here he thought she was different from the other girls he’d dated in the past. Someone he could trust. The One even.
Until she broke his heart.
Kristen was right. Love sucks.
Erik headed through the doorway leading to the common study room, a large space with wooden cubbies along the perimeter and a sea of comfortable upholstered chairs in the center. On a typical afternoon, he remembered this place being swamped. But tonight…not so much. Big surprise there.
Erik’s eyes scanned the room as he settled into a soft chair in the middle. Though the actual need for libraries had long since faded as e-libraries allowed patrons to download any ebook for free, the edifice itself still stood as a gathering place for students requiring a quiet place to study. The largely unused stacks of resources materials remained filled with antiquated dead-tree-books for lack of a better place to store them.
Tonight, the quiet of the common room rivaled that of the stacks. Two kids nestled at corner desks worked on problem sets–probably for some killer class like Orgo or Diff-E.Q. A third occupied a desk by the window, taking notes from his hardcover text. He obviously had one of the few professors on campus that still required students to purchase printed books.
Freshman year, Erik used to arrive here right after lunch to snatch one of the prized comfy chairs. And if he was lucky, he’d snag two and push them together like a boat–perfect for stretching out for an afternoon nap under the illusion of studying. He never failed to find at least one kid snoring, a bit of spittle oozing out of the corner of his mouth. Occasionally (Erik was ashamed to admit), it was him.
Though Erik hadn’t been here in ages. Not since Rachael Gallagher came along.
Rachael. Maybe he should go and find her like Kristen’d suggested, Erik mused.
But what if she was already out with that guy? Erik wasn’t the confrontational type. Especially not when he was so outmatched. Heck, Erik was athletic, too–at least before his parents signed him up for the full meal plan. He’d made the Varsity Baseball team at Fountainbleau High School three years in a row. But Varsity and Division 1 were two different stories. And that guy was definitely D-1 material. Lucas was right: Erik was out of his league.
Besides, being up all last night dwelling on Rachael certainly didn’t help his situation. Erik needed to be fresh. So he wouldn’t say something he’d later regret.
Erik’s eyelids sagged, heavy with sleep. Promising himself he’d find her first thing tomorrow, he pulled a second chair over to prop up his feet. He only needed a little nap to pass the time before she headed out for the evening. Then he could go back to the dorm without the risk of bumping into her. And in the morning, things would be different. He’d look for her right after breakfast. No, he corrected himself, before. Go down and knock on her door. Somehow find a way to win her back.
Erik slid down into the chair, leaning his head against the soft armrest. He’d even admit that he loved her. Because now, faced with the prospect of losing her, he realized that he did.
Tomorrow, Erik thought. A small grin crept across his face as he drifted to sleep.
Chapter Eighteen
The Kensington home, Madison, Virginia
Steve Summers parked his silver Ford Focus across the street from a white Colonial with black shutters and a wrap-around porch. He hadn’t been here since graduation and wasn’t sure if he was even welcome after Alyssa made it plain she wanted nothing to do with him. Yet she was off at sea, and utterly incapable of protesting his unexpected arrival.
He shut off the ignition and took a deep breath. Her mother’d been alone all these months…and always had a soft spot for Steve. She wouldn’t refuse his meager request. And even if she did, at least he never mentioned to anyone he planned to swing by Alyssa’s house before picking Ellen up for dinner. Nothing good could possibly come of Ellen discovering he still had feelings for his ex.
Steve climbed out of the car, stuffed his keys into his jeans’ pocket, and slammed the door shut. His palms felt cold and clammy, so he jammed them into his pockets next to the keys.
Just get this over with, he told himself with a sigh. Glancing over his shoulder in each direction, he crossed the street with a few long strides, then continued up the faded black-top driveway, stubby weeds poking out through its cracked surface.
Either she’ll tell you or she won’t, he reminded himself, but you’ll never know for sure unless you ask. Right?
Still, Steve’s stomach flipped upside-down as he neared Alyssa’s door. He hoped he wasn’t making a huge mistake, risking everything with Ellen–as tenuous as it might seem at times–for the glimmer of hope of regaining Alyssa’s love.
Preoccupied in his thoughts, Steve failed to notice Alyssa’s golden retriever, Tucker, bounding across the yard until he almost bumped into Steve. “Hey, buddy! How’ve you been?” Steve said, bending over to give Tucker a thorough scratch behind the ears. Tucker wagged his tail, thwacking Steve’s leg on each pass.
The front door creaked open. An older version of Alyssa emerged onto the porch. Linda Kensington’s short brown hair grayed at the roots, her face creased with concealed worry. As she dried her hands on a dishtowel, she called, “Tucker! Get back here!”
Steve raised his head and gave a small wave, “Hi, Mrs. K.”
Linda squinted, her face suddenly brightening. “Steve? Is that you?”
He nodded while Tucker panted and slobbered over his outstretched hand. “He doesn’t bark like he used to. Maybe he doesn’t hate me coming around anymore,” Steve said with a nervous smile.
“He never hated you coming here,” Linda replied, her grin widening as she dropped the dishtowel on an Adirondack chair and made her way down the porch steps and across the yard. “It’s his DOTS. I got so tired of how loud he got every time we had a visitor, that I thought I’d give them a try. That Bark Control’s made a huge difference.”
“I bet.” Steve patted Tucker’s head affectionately. He was like a totally different dog, as if someone turned his volume down to mute.
“But Steve! I can’t believe you’re here. It’s so good to see you again!” she added as she neared, sweeping him into a fast hug. When Linda pulled away, her eyes glistened with tears, as if desperately clinging to every past memory of her only child. “So how are you? How is school?” she gushed. “You look great. You’re so tan! Did you go somewhere?”
Steve shrugged, managing a faint smile while guilt weighed heavy upon his heart. At least she didn’t ask how Ellen was doing. Maybe she didn’t know.
Steve shifted on his feet, eager to change the subject, “I just thought I’d stop by. See if you’ve heard from Alyssa lately.” The last thing he needed was to have Ellen wonder why he’s late in picking her up.
Linda sighed, a wistful look in her eyes as she folded her arms over her chest. “You know how it goes. She’s only allowed communication when they’re near the surface. But I was hoping to get in touch with her tonight. I thought her sub might resume contact…with the Conversion and all.”
Steve’s face grew hopeful.
“Tonight?” he echoed. That’s so much better than he ever anticipated. Almost like instant gratification. Either Alyssa’ll speak to him now or be done with him once and for all. He wasn’t sure how he’d handle the second possibility, but perhaps it would never amount to that. And if it did, at least he never dumped Ellen. He couldn’t stand being alone like Alyssa’ mom. All those years and she never remarried. Sure, the emotional signs of strain were there, but what about satiating physical urges? How anyone could survive that long was impossible for him to fathom.
“Do you think Alyssa would have time to speak to me, too?” Steve wondered, hoping he didn’t sound too desperate.
“I don’t see why not. Why don’t you grab a Coke from the fridge while I try to get a hold of her?” Linda’s eyes lost his; suddenly flitting back and forth as she optically typed a message to her daughter.
Phew, Steve thought as he headed toward the house. That went easier than he’d expected…so far, at least. But before Steve reached the front door, he heard a chilling howl of pain. Spinning toward its source, he saw Tucker rolling on the ground, his paws frantically batting at his floppy ears.
“Oh, my God!” Linda shrieked as she knelt beside her dog. “Tucker? What’s wrong?”
The howling persisted. Steve dashed back to help when an intense ringing pierced his ears. He heard Linda shriek again before clamping his hands over his eardrums. Dizzy from the unbearable sound, he fell to his knees. His eyes hammered inside his skull, pulsing wildly as if threatening to burst. What’s wrong with me? Steve squeezed his head tighter to alleviate the pain, trickles of blood moistening his palms. Impossible to concentrate on anything besides the agony he faced, all external noise essentially disappeared, drowning out Tucker’s dreadful wails and Linda’s high-pitched screams.
