by Debbie Kump
At least the characteristic smell of wetsuit neoprene countered the reek of the few individuals left inside. Empty scuba tanks lined the walls while glass-fronted cases displayed expensive sets of masks and snorkel gear. Alyssa had only stepped inside to escape Erik’s watchful glare. There wasn’t anything in here she would need. Nevertheless, she couldn’t afford to arouse his suspicions further; not after he’d caught up to her so quickly before. So she meandered through racks of rash guards, short and full-length wetsuits, and T-shirts with lewd depictions of various versions of “diving” until she reached the cashier counter in the back of the store. Stepping over a customer sprawled across the floor, Alyssa peeked over the counter. In the middle of a transaction, the employee had left the cash register wide open, untouched.
Gingerly, Alyssa walked around the counter, twisting to avoid stepping on the dead cashier. She nervously glanced over her shoulder, half expecting to spot Erik at the front door. Before letting herself second-guess her actions, she filled a plastic shopping bag with the contents of the cash register. This should be more than enough for now, she thought.
Then she lifted up the empty drawer of bills to peer underneath, finding a lighter, a set of car keys, and a Smith and Wesson 9 millimeter semi-automatic. Her finger grazed the black barrel. Combat simulation was one thing; this was real life. It wasn’t really her style…and yet.
Biting her lip, Alyssa drummed her fingers across the counter, deliberating her next course of action. She picked up the set of keys and aimed them out the back window. Pressing the lock button, she heard a friendly beep, beep from behind the store. Alyssa smiled in smug satisfaction.
Erik will be waiting back at the boat, she reminded herself. But when she reached inside her pocket to take a second look at his list, her fingers grazed Justin Hidalgo’s dolphin pin. Alyssa’s heart leapt up her throat. With fresh determination, she stuffed the lighter and keys into her pocket, grabbed the gun and bag of bills, and marched out the back door.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Erik spent the better part of the morning gathering supplies. At least that’s what he convinced himself he was doing. Did it count as stealing and grand theft auto if no one was around to witness his acts?
Taking side streets and driving over the sidewalks, he successfully dodged most of the congestion of stalled cars (and he’d thought Miami’s traffic was horrendous before!), finally making it out of downtown. He hit half a dozen stores, each time blocking out the stench of decay that filled his nostrils while he stuffed bag after bag with non-perishable food items, clothes, charcoal, and water. Lots of bottled water.
Erik loaded the goods into the tailgate, then began the laborious process of winding his way through one jam after another to return to the harbor. He hoped he hadn’t kept Alyssa waiting too long. Would she even wait? Erik wondered, or sail off without me? It was a moot question. Either the boat was there or it wasn’t. There was nothing he could do about that now.
Pulling into the harbor, Erik stopped the car at the end of the dock in the NO PARKING ZONE. Grabbing armfuls of goods from the tailgate, he hauled the supplies down the dock, relieved to see the Goldmans’ slip still occupied. Phew, he thought. She hadn’t left without him after all.
With a groan, Erik heaved the bags onto the boat. “Did you find everything, Alyssa?” he called as he climbed onboard.
He paused, waiting for a response. But the only sound he heard was the water rocking against the hull of the ship. In an instant, his stomach filled with dread.
Running down the steps to the cabin, he dumped the bags on the floor, then checked the bedroom. Empty, Erik frowned. He knocked on the door to the head. “Alyssa?” he called again, louder this time. Still no answer. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door. Empty as well.
Where could she be?
Erik bolted back up the stairs, squinted into the bright sunlight shimmering across the surface of the harbor. He brushed his blonde bangs from his eyes as he scanned the dock for some sign of activity. Aside from the swaying masts and rustling palm fronds, he saw nothing.
So what’s keeping her? She should be back by now. He pounded his fist on the gunwale, scolding himself for agreeing to split up. Worse, Erik had no way of contacting her; all he could do was wait. “How did people ever survive before cell phones?” he groaned as he returned to the truck for another load of supplies.
With each trip to the boat, the pit in Erik’s stomach deepened. By the time he finished stowing the last of the items haphazardly in the cabin, she miraculously returned. But Erik’s jaw hit the floor as he noticed only a small shopping bag slung over her shoulder. What was she thinking?!
“What took you so long?” Erik barked as he leapt over the side of the boat. With unspoken frustration, his arms tensed at his sides, his hands balling into fists.
Alyssa didn’t answer as she stared off into the distance, her face drained of color. She staggered down the dock, one sluggish step after another.
Erik snatched the bag from over her shoulder. He rummaged through, finding only a heap of bills. “What about food? The binoculars?” he complained. “The medical kit? And the sunscreen?”
Speechless, Alyssa blinked, meeting his glare with steely hazel eyes.
What had she been doing this whole time? Erik released a heavy sigh. Of all the people he had to find alive, why couldn’t he at least have gotten someone helpful? Even squeamish Rachael who fainted at the sight of her own blood would’ve done better. Maybe he was right: he’d made a huge mistake asking her to come.
Not that it mattered now. It wouldn’t be long before someone else arrived. To be honest, he’d rather not stick around and wait for that to happen. Making a small attempt at consoling her, Erik helped her step on board.
“So…are you all set to go?”
She plopped down onto the bench without a word.
Erik’s blood began to boil. “Can you give me a hand with these lines?”
She turned her head, refusing to meet his gaze.
“Seriously,” he continued, straining to keep a civil tone. “I don’t think I can push off myself.”
Silently, Alyssa rose off the bench.
Thank God, thought Erik as he tossed her one end of the nylon rope. Instead, she looked at him in a baffled way, letting the rope fall to her feet. Then she slunk down the stairs, winding her way through the piles of bags to lie on the sole double bed in the cabin. Dumbfounded, Erik peered below, finding her curled up in a ball. Her eyes appeared blank and distant, almost catatonic.
“Thanks for your help,” Erik called, heavy on the sarcasm. “I’ll take it from here, I guess.” He tromped across the deck, preparing to cast off.
What had he gotten himself into? Rachael had no leverage up there, did she? Or maybe this was her way of getting back at him after all.
Frowning miserably, Erik snuck a peek at the horizon again. The sun dipped low in the sky, casting a reddish glow over the water. At least the sea looked clear…so far. He had no doubt they’d make it out of the harbor in time. He only hoped he’d be able to put a safe distance between them and any approaching ships before nightfall.
Chapter Forty
The first night passed without a hitch. Well, not exactly. But at least Erik didn’t capsize the Goldmans’ boat.
Erik spent the first few hours cursing himself for not taking his parents up on that offer to go sailing earlier this semester. He really needed someone to jog his memory in how to tack and jibe, but that person refused to leave the cabin.
On more than one occasion Erik lost the evening wind, only to gain it back in full force suddenly, whipping the boom around…and almost whacking him in the head. Finally, with the sun deep below the horizon and the stars as bright pinpricks in the black velvet above, he settled on safely sailing with the jib alone.
It wasn’t like he could sleep anyway, not with the ghastly images of his loved ones’ bodies filling his mind. So for hours Erik sat there, listening with his good ear to the
lopsided breeze rippling the jib sheet and Alyssa intermittently dashing to the head, wondering how he got himself into this mess.
Some sailor Alyssa turned out to be. He lost count of the number of times she got seasick that first night. Afraid of the vile smell churning his stomach as well, Erik only ventured into the cabin when pushing liquids on her to prevent dehydration. But she never kept them down for long.
It wasn’t like the seas were that rocky, either. How she ever managed aboard a Navy ship was beyond him. Erik should’ve thought of putting seasickness patches on her list back in Miami. Then he remembered that wouldn’t’ve helped.
Not when she disregarded everything he bothered to write.
Not until the middle of the next day, with Miami far in the distance, did Alyssa finally emerge from the cabin, tying her washed uniform to a handhold to dry. She’d made an effort to shower and put on a fresh, white buttoned-down shirt and a pair of khaki shorts the Goldmans must’ve left below, but her face still wore a sickly color of puce.
Keeping his hand on the tiller, Erik studied her warily. “Feeling better?” he asked, more to hear his own voice than expecting an answer.
With shaking hands, she grasped one handhold after another, finally settling silently onto the bench in the cockpit.
Solitude was infinitely better than being ignored, Erik decided. He cranked the winch to take in the sails and prepare to come about.
In the midst of his activity, Erik thought he heard her speak. He let up on the winch, turning his left ear toward the helpless lump on the bench named Alyssa.
“Did you say something?”
Alyssa wiped her brow, then wrapped her arms around her waist, shivering slightly. “I’m sorry,” she repeated softly, hesitantly glancing at Erik.
Erik blinked. Relying solely on his hazy knowledge of sailing, he’d pushed the Golden Sunset off and unfurled the sails without her. She’d been nothing but a hassle so far. And now she was apologizing. It didn’t make up for her lack of effort, but it was a start.
“I’m sorry I made you wait so long,” She continued, her shoulders slumping forward. “I didn’t believe you at first. So I left. I had to see for myself.”
Erik’s face fell. So that’s what took her so long–she hadn’t planned to come back at all. Well, maybe it would’ve been better if she hadn’t returned. Maybe he’d prefer solitude’s slow trip to insanity, rather than his unsuccessful attempts at reading her thoughts.
Alyssa looked away again, probably hurt by his expression. “But when I got out of town, I realized you were right.” Her voice faltered, slightly hoarse. “It was everywhere, not just on the sub. I couldn’t get past the stalled cars. All the roads–blocked. With death.”
Erik nodded, his hands frozen on the winch, waiting for her to continue. The jib sail flapped unhappily in the breeze, but he paid it no attention.
“You were right,” her voice trembled, melancholy in tone. “There wasn’t anything left to go back to.”
Then she did that fading-out thing again: the blank stare into the distance. Erik wondered what thoughts passed through her head as he set back to work trimming the jib sail. Could he even count on her for assistance in the future?
“I promised my mother I’d return,” Alyssa eventually continued, more to herself than to him. “I never said goodbye. Not to my mom. My friends. No one.” She shivered again, hugging herself tighter.
Erik’s hand let up on the rope as he dropped his head, overcome with guilt. Maybe he’d been too hard on her this whole time. It wasn’t easy for him, either. Not in the least. He’d wanted to give up, too…until he remembered Rachael. He could still hear her voice, coaxing him to press forward. Somehow, to find a way to survive.
Erik crossed the cockpit to lock off the tiller. Then he sat down on the opposite bench. Managing a sympathetic smile, he said, “It’s not your fault. I know how you feel. My parents. And my sister. I saw them.” His body shuddered at the recollection. “Can you believe I was going to be an uncle? She hadn’t told us yet.”
But she’d tried, he reminded himself. If I’d been smart enough to see the signs. “Well, not directly.”
He didn’t know why he felt compelled to share Kristen’s news with her. Maybe he simply needed to tell someone. Just to get it off his chest, perhaps.
While Erik bent his head to wipe his eyes on his sleeve, he jostled the tiller slightly. The rudder turned the boat to starboard, making the sail flop restlessly. He let it stay that way. Might as well get the rest out…while she was listening. He felt better telling someone, even if that someone was reluctant to respond.
“It’s not just that,” Erik continued, feeling the weight gradually lift from his soul. “My girlfriend, too.” The image of Rachael hugging Jamie outside of class rushed into his mind. Erik gnashed his teeth. “If I hadn’t been so pissed at her, I wouldn’t be here right now.”
“You can’t blame yourself for that,” Alyssa said sympathetically. Sliding down the bench, she reached across the cockpit to place her hand gently upon his knee.
Erik stiffened briefly. Was she slipping out of her trance, becoming human once more? So why did he react in such a frightened way? This was what he wanted: companionship, camaraderie, someone to share the burden he bore. Wasn’t it?
It took Erik a minute to remember where he was going with his thoughts. If he stopped his confession now, he’d risk losing her all over again.
As difficult as it was to recall the horrendous memories, he persisted, “No. It’s true.” A single tear slid down his cheek. His voice choked on the words, “I thought she was cheating on me. Turns out it was her cousin, up visiting for the weekend. She was just showing him around campus.”
He leaned forward, his head falling into his palms. His shoulders heaved with silent sorrow. Managing a forced chuckle, he added, “I only took my DOTS out ‘cause I couldn’t stand her constant messages. Go figure she was just trying to explain.”
Alyssa’s hand left his knee. Surprisingly, she got up to sit next to him, softly patting his back in consolation.
Erik shook his head sadly. He lifted his eyes to gaze across the horizon containing nothing but the wide blue sea. What was the point in continuing? It didn’t matter that Alyssa was finally opening up to him. He’d lost the love of his life. Nothing could change that. And he’d be with Rachael now–in a better place than this ruined world–if only he’d listened…
All of a sudden, everything seemed remarkably insignificant. The warmth of Alyssa’s hand on his back faded. Even the beating sun failed to reach his core.
“But y’know what? Sometimes I wish I had listened,” he admitted in a weak voice. “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t here anymore.”
Quietly, Alyssa removed her arm from his shoulders and slogged out of the cockpit. Nice one, Erik. You screwed things up again. Why had he bothered opening up to her? It’d done nothing but augment his misery.
Alyssa’ footsteps dropped like lead weights upon the stairs as she headed down into the cabin, leaving Erik alone to ponder his uncertain future. And whether he would’ve been better off by himself.
Chapter Forty-One
Hours later, Alyssa dragged herself off the bed in the cabin. As much as she desired space from Erik and his reminders of those she’d lost, she gagged on the stuffy air below, filled with the reek of illness. Even sliding open the small windows to allow the breeze to pass through offered little reprieve from the overwhelming sadness clogging her throat. Suddenly the stale, dark air of the Siren buzzing with active submariners didn’t seem so lousy after all.
Like it or not, this was her fate: doomed to a small boat with the only living person she’d encountered. Face it, Alyssa, she scolded herself, anyone left alive would remind you of Justin or Mom. Instinctively, she felt for Justin’s dolphin pin in the pocket of her borrowed shorts. Seeking comfort, she carried it with her always.
Maybe things with Erik would improve if she tried speaking to him again. Then again, maybe it would
n’t. But at least she could let go of some of the burden heaped upon her weary shoulders. Besides, she could only avoid him for so long in this limited space.
Trudging up the stairs, she deposited herself on the side of the boat, hugging her knees as she stared at the whitecaps beyond.
For several minutes, she sensed Erik’s eyes bearing upon her, as if waiting for her to speak. The problem was she didn’t know where to begin.
Luckily, she didn’t have to. All of a sudden, the sail fell limp. She heard Erik’s footsteps cross the cockpit. Glancing over her shoulder, she met his gaze with saddened eyes.
“Listen,” Erik said, his face softening, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so hard on you. I just assumed since you were in the Navy, you could help out with the sailing.” Then he bit his lip, like he should’ve stopped when he was ahead.
She let it slide. He was right to feel hurt–she’d been useless thus far. Not until she got stuck in Miami’s traffic, unable to make it out of town, did Alyssa realize Erik might be her only hope. But since she’d returned, he’d been so judgmental, making the hairs on the back of her neck bristle every time he spoke. He didn’t know anything about her, or what she’d been through.
Then maybe you should tell him, she reminded herself. After all, he’d already confided in her. Weren’t they supposed to work together as a team to get to wherever they were headed? Though deep down, she doubted Erik knew their final destination, either.
“I am in the Navy,” Alyssa began before she lost her nerve. “Make that, was, I s’pose, given the state of things.” She heaved a deep sigh. “But I didn’t sail on a ship. I was assigned to a sub. Conducting sonar tests in the Caribbean and the Atlantic.” Instantly, Alyssa regretted her last statement. Was that information still classified if the U.S. military was nonexistent?
