“I doubt it,” he said in a quiet voice. “But I’m sure her attorney told her what was in them. Ron Jenke chose the most damaging entries to read aloud during the trial. You’ve only seen a few pages of the first diary.”
“Are they all like this?”
His face darkened. “They get much worse.”
“In what way?”
“Look at the beginning of diary three.” He reached over and found it in the pile.
Heidi took it from him and turned the sheet to the first entry. According to the date, it was the summer Amy had started that special acting school.
Mom and Dad are going to be shocked when they find out Dana and Heidi are lesbians.
What?
That’s why they hate me. Because they know I know. Tonight Mom sent me into the Ellises’ warehouse to get Dana because it was late. That’s when I caught her and Heidi without their clothes on. They were doing things to each other in the back room. Before I could get away, they heard me. Dana got hold of me. She was furious. She said that if I dared tell Mom and Dad what I saw, she and Heidi would kill me. If you could’ve seen her eyes and heard her voice, you’d know she meant it. I’ve been afraid of them ever since.
I found out they’re planning a trip around the world. I’m really glad they’re leaving. I don’t feel safe in the house when they’re here. The only reason they’re going away is so they can be together without anyone else finding out.
Dazed, Heidi looked over at Gideon. “Was the part about the lesbians read at the trial?”
“Yes.”
“Dear God. Poor Dana. That poor family. I had no idea….”
He nodded. “Read the last few entries of diary six. They were written on the day she was murdered.”
Sickness welled in her throat as she leaned over to find the pages. Her hands were shaking so hard she almost dropped them.
There’s only one thing Dana’s afraid of. Losing Dad’s love. She knows that will happen if he finds out her secret. Today she called and asked me to go sailing with her this weekend at Newport Beach. Just the two of us, she said.
I know what she’s planning. I’m not a strong swimmer. She’ll claim it was an accident. I told her I couldn’t go because I was doing a play. She pretended not to mind, but I knew it put her in a rage. It’s only a matter of time now before she plans something else.
Kristen wants me to go to the police to get protection. She told me she’d go with me, but I’m afraid they won’t be able to help. They’d never believe me, not when Mom and Dad are so prominent in the community.
Stacy thinks I should just run away where Dana can’t ever find me. It means giving up my plans for a film career, but I’ve decided that’s what I have to do if I’m going to survive. Earlier today I packed a suitcase. I’m leaving. No one knows where I’m going or how I’ll get there except for me. I have the money Dad gave me for next season’s tuition.
That was the end of the entries.
Heidi tossed the photocopy on the pile and reached for the court transcript. She sat on the couch and proceeded to read it straight through.
When she’d finished an hour later, she sat there in a stupor. Amy’s murder, followed by Dana’s imprisonment, had dragged everyone involved through a literal hell. But Heidi hadn’t plumbed its depths until now.
“You know what’s so utterly tragic about this?” she whispered into the stillness. “Amy sprinkled just enough truth among the lies to sound credible to anyone who didn’t know her.”
Raking a hand through his hair, Gideon rose to his feet. “Come on. We’re going for a walk to clear our heads.”
He found her a jacket to wear. With Pokey on his leash, they left the house for the beach, which was only two blocks away.
The sun had long since disappeared below the horizon, and the tide was starting to come in. Gideon put his arm around her shoulders and they made their way along the surf, with Pokey in the lead.
Heidi didn’t care if the foam swirled around her sneakers or wet the hems of her sweatpants. Gideon seemed equally oblivious. Neither of them spoke.
They walked for an hour at least before heading back in the foggy darkness. By the time they’d returned to the house, she felt completely chilled.
Gideon started a fire in the family-room fireplace. “Here.” He spread a blanket from a nearby chair on the floor in front of it. “While you get warm, I’ll bring us some dessert.”
“Nothing for me, please. I couldn’t.”
She sank onto her knees close to the flames, drawn to the heat. With Pokey at his heels, Gideon sat next to her holding a plate with a couple of doughnuts.
He ate as if nothing was wrong. The more natural he acted, the more uncomfortable she felt. The silence grew unbearable.
“Whoever said ‘Beware what you wish for’ really knew what they were talking about,” she blurted.
“This nightmare’s uglier and more bizarre than anything I’d imagined.”
Talking faster and faster, she said, “After thinking it all through, I’ve come to the decision that I want you off the case. I’m sorry you got dragged into it, Gideon. But don’t worry, you’ll be paid for all the time and work you’ve already put in. If you’ll drive me home, I won’t bother you again.”
She started to get to her feet, but he pulled her back toward him, effectively wedging her head and shoulders between his chest and raised knees.
Not only was she trapped by his body, his mouth hovered close enough that she could feel his warm breath on her lips. There was no room to move. His eyes probed hers.
“You’re way off track if you think I believe anything written in that diary had a basis in reality. Tonight I’m prepared to offer you all the proof you need,” he whispered before fastening his mouth on hers.
At the first touch of his lips, every concern and reservation fled her mind. Moaning from the passion he aroused, she was helpless to do anything but return his ardor.
His hunger seemed as insatiable as hers. Before she knew how it had happened, he’d rolled her on top of him. Within minutes, she lost all inhibition.
If the dog hadn’t begun to whine for attention, Heidi wouldn’t have realized she was kissing Gideon as frantically as he was kissing her.
Ashamed of her out-of-control behavior, she started to pull away from him.
“Not so fast,” he muttered, reversing their positions so she was lying on the floor beneath him. His eyes were glazed with desire. “If you’re still filled with doubts, I suggest we stay here until they no longer exist.”
With those words he kissed her throat, her eyes, her mouth. The sensation of his lips against her skin seemed to dissolve her bones. If she allowed this to go on, she would lose all objectivity. For Dana’s sake—for Kevin’s—she needed to keep her head. It was too soon to yield to her desire.
But that kind of restraint would be impossible if she stayed in Gideon’s arms. Somehow she had to do the right thing, no matter how much she craved his passion.
While she still had a modicum of willpower, she caught his face in her hands, bringing to a stop the pleasure his mouth had been giving her. Forcing his head up, she stared into his eyes.
“You’ve convinced me,” she admitted in a husky voice. “In fact, I’m frightened by the strength of my desire for you. But being with you like this is making me lose my perspective when I need it the most.”
She heard his sharp intake of breath. “I can live with that much honesty. For now, anyway,” he added.
Slowly he got to his feet and drew her up with him, stroking her back with gentle insistence. “You and I have a case to solve. We’ve got six uninterrupted days to find out what happened to Amy on the night she died.
“There’s just one problem. Not only do I not want to live apart from you, I can’t even think of saying good-night to you. So I’m going to ask you to spend the week with me.”
“But—”
“I didn’t say sleep with me,” he asserted. “I won’t step foot in
side the guest bedroom—unless you invite me. There’s a bathroom across the hall with an extra toothbrush. Tomorrow morning we’ll run by your apartment so you can pack a bag.”
His hands slid to her shoulders. He kneaded them with growing urgency. “I want you around, morning, noon and night. I want to find out what there could be between us.”
“I want that, too,” she whispered. Possibly more than he did. “But what if Kevin finds out? He’ll jump to the wrong conclusion and—”
“I’ve already had a talk with him about you,” Gideon broke in. “He knows you’ve become very important to me. We’ll deal with his concerns as they arise.”
His eyes narrowed on her mouth. “When you walked into my life a couple of weeks ago, I was instantly attracted to you. I felt nineteen again. After years of living in an emotional limbo, I didn’t know I could feel that way again.”
She found it incredible that he was still single.
“W-was your divorce very painful?” The question came out before she could prevent it.
“Sit with me on the couch and I’ll tell you.”
It was only a few steps away. He drew her down next to him. “Fay’s betrayal was painful. The divorce turned out to be an enormous relief.”
Heidi averted her eyes. “I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. You have every right to know that Kevin isn’t my biological son.”
She blinked. “So that’s why I couldn’t see a resemblance between you.”
“That’s right. Unbeknownst to me, Fay had an affair while we were engaged. This was back in New York. After we were married and Kevin was born, Max and I were called to testify at a police-brutality trial. It was such a traumatic experience we both left the police department. He ended up with the FBI, and I moved my family out to San Diego, where I went into criminal-investigation work.
“Fay got a job at a stock brokerage here. It didn’t take her long to have another affair—with the man she’s married to now.”
“Gideon!” Heidi was shocked.
“When I met Fay, I think I was in love with love. We were opposites in too many ways, but we were young and we found the differences fascinating. Marriage seemed the next natural step, but it was a mistake from the beginning. Still, I was determined to make it work.
“To cut a long story short, she came home from the office one day and told me she planned to leave me because she was in love with someone else.
“I was stunned. No matter how bad things were, I hadn’t believed she’d look for love outside our marriage. I suggested we go for counseling. She refused. At that point I told her she could have her freedom, but I was suing for custody of Kevin.
“That’s when she informed me he wasn’t my son and I learned about her affair in New York. A DNA test confirmed that I couldn’t possibly be the biological father. Of course, that made no difference to my feelings for Kevin.
“I went for some counseling through the department. The psychologist convinced me that a child needs his mother during the formative years, so I ended up asking for liberal visitation rights.
“Kevin loves his mother, but she’s worked all these years, leaving him with baby-sitters and nannies. Unfortunately he’s never bonded with his stepfather, who’s actually a pretty nice guy.”
Heidi shook her head. “No wonder Kevin clings to you.”
“He’s been begging to live with me.”
“How does your ex-wife feel about that?”
He let out a deep sigh. “You don’t want to know.”
“Oh, Gideon…what you’ve told me makes me more apprehensive than ever. I don’t want to add to Kevin’s insecurity.”
“It’s too late for that. This is something he’ll have to work through, because there’s no way I’m going to give you up. I told you all this so you’d understand Kevin’s history and be prepared to help me with him.”
As much as Heidi hated to think it, she blamed Gideon’s ex-wife to a great extent for fostering this insecurity in her son. A mother could make all the difference in smoothing the way for an ex-spouse in his relationship with his children. Heidi had seen it over and over again at school; she frequently encountered the emotional problems faced by kids from divorced homes. So often, the mother’s attitude to her ex was reflected by the children’s attitude to him—and it could be a positive and comfortable situation for everyone.
Of course, that mother needed to be unselfish.
That thought brought Heidi right back to the beginning. If Gideon’s wife hadn’t been selfish, she wouldn’t have been unfaithful to anyone as wonderful as Gideon. No doubt they’d still be married today.
And if that were true, Heidi wouldn’t be with him now. She couldn’t even imagine that. Not after what they’d shared this evening. Already he’d become as necessary to her as…as breathing.
“Heidi?”
His voice returned her to the present. “Yes?”
“You look tired. I’m not surprised after the shock you received today. I think it’s time you were in bed. Tomorrow morning will be soon enough to plan our strategy.”
Dana.
For a little while Heidi had been so consumed by thoughts of Gideon, she’d almost forgotten the reason for being here at all.
By tacit agreement they got up from the couch. He clasped her hand and gave her a tour of the rest of the house, Pokey trotting along behind.
To her surprise the living room was at the opposite end of the house. The furnishings were more formal than modern. Gideon let her take a look in each of the three bedrooms off the hall.
“You have a beautiful home,” she said. “I like the way it’s a mixture of traditional and modern. No clutter. Everything’s spotless.”
By now they stood outside the guest bedroom.
“I can thank my housekeeper for that.”
“Lucky you,” she said lightly.
“Lucky me is right.”
She didn’t know what he meant until he took her in his arms and proceeded to kiss her. Heidi melted against him—until he suddenly drew back. Her hands were still splayed against his chest.
“A little while ago I made you a promise,” he whispered. “I intend to keep it.”
She couldn’t suppress a groan.
“I feel the same way,” he said.
It was humiliating to realize he had more strength of will than she did. The last thing she wanted was to let go of him. Slowly, reluctantly, she removed her hands from his chest and backed into the bedroom.
“Good night. I’ll see you in the morning.” Shutting the door, she leaned against it, too weakened by longing to do anything else.
If Gideon hadn’t been the kind of man he was, she would have leaped into the flames just now. Living under the same roof with him was risky—she’d known that when he’d first suggested it, but she’d thought she could handle it.
Who was she kidding?
CHAPTER TEN
POKEY’S WHINING brought Gideon out of a restless sleep. He raised his head to look at his watch. It was five-thirty in the morning, too early for the dog to want out.
Gideon doubted Heidi was awake yet. Maybe someone other than the paperboy had come into the yard.
He shoved the covers aside and got out of bed. Pokey stood on full alert next to the closed door. Curious to know what had disturbed the dog, Gideon shrugged into his bathrobe.
“Come on, boy. Show me what’s got you so excited.”
As soon as he finished tying his belt, he opened the bedroom door. Pokey bounded down the hall. Gideon could see light from the kitchen end of the house. Since he’d turned everything off before going to bed, he knew Heidi had to be up.
To his surprise he found her fully dressed, sitting on the couch in the family room. She was reading one of the diary pages. Pokey leaned against her legs as she rubbed behind his ears.
“Gideon,” she said softly when she saw him enter the room. He liked the way her eyes played over him, as if she couldn’t he
lp herself. “I’m so sorry if I woke you.”
“You didn’t. I’ve been ready to get up for some time. How did you sleep?” He couldn’t resist asking, because she still looked tired. She also looked so damn beautiful it frustrated him all over again that they’d spent the night apart.
“Fine.”
Liar.
“Actually that’s not true,” she admitted. “I tossed and turned for hours trying to make sense of everything. Just a little while ago I realized what was troubling me.” Her eyes darted to his once more. “I’m glad you’re up. I need to talk to you about it.”
With the advent of morning came reality. Gideon resented its intrusion.
“I’ll let Pokey out first and feed him. Come on, boy.”
Once that was accomplished, he returned to the kitchen. “I’m making coffee. Do you take sugar? Cream?”
“Both,” she called out.
As soon as he carried the mugs to the table, she joined him, bringing all the diary pages with her.
“Tell me what’s on your mind.” He sat down in the chair next to her and handed her the coffee.
She drank a good portion of it. “Mmm, that tastes wonderful. Thank you,” she said before putting the mug aside. “I want you to see something.” Quickly she found the first page of each diary and spread all six of them out in chronological order.
“According to the first entry, Amy would have been in seventh grade. But no twelve-year-old wrote this! Look at her handwriting, the level of her vocabulary, then compare it to the five other diaries. I may not be an expert, but I am a teacher and I require my students to keep a portfolio of their work.
“Those who’ve been with me from seventh through ninth grade reveal some improvement over that time. There are always differences—evidence of growth in maturity and legibility.
“But from the ages of twelve to nineteen, Amy’s writing is the same. I don’t see that gradual change. There are no spelling errors to speak of. Her grammatical construction is sound. All the volumes show the same degree of development.”
He put down his coffee to study them.
She was right!
My Private Detective Page 14
