“I’m over him, really –”
“No – No – No… It’s okay… Really, I get it,” He tried to reassure her.
“I know you do,” she said without hesitation and she squeezed his hand. “I think you’re special – from the moment you came running up to me in the hallway yesterday there’s been this –”
“Pulling,” he interrupted.
She paused. There was a sudden uneasiness about her. Was it because Merk had just said – pulling? He returned the squeeze to try and send her a message, a reminder that it was okay, that everything was okay. Almost immediately she seemed to settle back down.
“I didn’t mean to –”
“No, you’re right… A pulling. I’ve felt it too. A kind of compelling force too, right?”
She was reading his mind. Or they were just simpatico. And everything that he had been feeling was indeed parallel with her feelings. Holding hands across the table, their first date, the attraction between them, intensified. Who was this woman? he wondered. She was an unexpected aberration, an unplanned acquaintance that was quickly turning into something more, maybe a companion.
Again, Merk had come to this town to just escape his old life, to be away from the things he had done. He had had no expectations of meeting someone like Kara who had already lit up and electrified his world in only a day. But here he was with her. At dinner. A level of intimacy being explored.
Finally, Merk answered her: “Definitely a compelling force. I really haven’t known what to make of it to be honest – it’s crazy! From the moment I saw you…”
They said the last words at the same time, making them laugh. They composed themselves when the waiter came over to check to see if they wanted dessert. They both agreed not to. Merk watched her closely. He didn’t want to misread anything but the way she looked at him, he felt a slight pressure that him unsure what to do next. The crazy thing was that they were both adults and there obviously was something between them. It was now up to them where the night went.
True, it was their first date, but the attraction was obvious and through the conversation and the flirtation, there seemed to be a natural progression of what was to come next. Merk decided to test the waters. The waiter came over. He gave Kara a look and as if on cue, she nodded.
“We’ll take the check, please,” said Merk, smiling to himself.
***
Her lips were full and wet. As she kissed him, she pressed him hard against his front door. Slowly her mouth opened and as he slid his tongue inside her mouth, she slid hers to meet his. Their tongues intertwined, massaged each other. There was a level of intimacy in the kissing that embarked on the fullest meaning of exploration.
A kiss was about discovery. Two people that felt something for each other, delving into uncharted waters with a desire to discover. There was a biological and chemical component to it, as there was with everything else that existed, but when examined, the kiss and its meaning rose to another level of understanding the human condition and the human experience. For all of humanity’s so-called complexity, when it was stripped down and observed in its most finite grooves and crucks, one could see how basic things were: a kiss was about using the five senses to discover aspects of another person holistically.
Tongues connecting, licking together, tasting each other, their saliva imbued with DNA and genetic code, the smell of each other’s breath, where the people have been and what they had been exposed to, the closing of the eyes to focus and see in the inner mind, the feel of another person’s body, the knowing that each person was a relational being and that no one was truly alone, and hearing the other person’s heartbeat or breathing or moan and groan of exhilaration.
All these attributes, senses, at work to communicate to each other and make each person aware of how alive they were. Merk could almost feel her body inside his. They felt so intrinsic and connected. He tried hard to will himself inside of her. Finally, their lips came to a pucker and a smooch and Merk pulled back to look at her. Her hair was tousled and she had a ravished look about her, lustful and hazy. Her eyes were what he could call bedroom eyes – pulling and compelling. He felt it again; she was drawing him to her.
Merk went in for more. This time, he pressed his body hard against hers, making sure that she felt all of him. She moaned and then her hands fell to his butt. She clenched each cheek tightly and then pulled him forward, pressing him against her, their lower halves converging, a slow gyration evolving.
Again, they were two consenting adults, but wasn’t it all happening too fast? But she was insatiable. Sensing Merk’s slight hesitation, Kara kissed him harder, deeper, pushing her tongue with full force into his mouth, giving him all of her as much as possible. She paused, pulling back for him to see him, her eyes, always searching. He then pulled her toward him, lifting himself from the door, bringing his lips back to hers. They kissed some more and Merk allowed himself to abandon the second-guessing. Feeling for the keys in his pocket, he found them, all the while kissing her. He opened door. The two fell into the house, locked in a kiss, bodies pressed together.
Chapter Four
She had made the first move. She had kissed him. And then one thing led to another and next thing she knew, they were in his house headed towards his bedroom. Merk was on top of her. But she didn’t mind. Normally, she liked to be in control but the force of his body against hers felt good, the weight and then the strength of his arms as they held hers back against the bed, his body moving hard and impassioned on top of hers. Their clothes weren’t even off yet but she felt totally engulfed in him, aroused and ready to make love. Kara wrapped her legs around him and pulled him into her. She felt on fire, lust and passion consuming her. She wanted to taste him, put her tongue and mouth on him, everywhere. She began to pull his shirt up…
No. Her cell phone rang. It was a familiar ring tone, one she hadn’t heard in a long time. A ring tone that meant something, more than she ever wanted to admit - the feelings that came with a ringtone, stupid feelings, awkwardness and discomfort, but also some anxiousness. As much as she wanted to ignore it, she knew she couldn’t because he couldn’t be ignored, not ever, and especially not tonight, the timing was too significant. She could only imagine what it meant that he was calling her now, in this moment.
“Hang on…” she said to Merk patting his back to stop.
“What? You – You okay?” his voiced was low and raspy, sexy and ready.
“I have to get that… I’m sorry,” she replied.
“Really? Now?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry… Just – Just give me a minute,” she asked as politely and remorseful as possible.
Merk sighed heavily. She hated this. But she had to answer. That ring. She knew who it was and why he was calling. It had happened this way before. She eased herself off the bed and picked up her phone from the nightstand where she had placed it.
“Hello,” she said, turning to Merk to excuse herself.
Kara stepped out of the room, knowing how it must look to Merk. They were about to make love for the first time and then… The phone call wasn’t more important than Merk or what they were about to do, and the evolution and natural progression of their relationship all in one night, but Ratty couldn’t be ignored. He wouldn’t let himself be. If she didn’t answer, then there would be another more disturbing kind of intrusion. She was sure of that.
He would pry and prod until he got what he wanted and be damned with everyone else. This was one of the many reasons why they were not together. Even more than that, she again felt guilty. She knew that a part of his off and on dealings with her was because she was a lingering feeling inside of him. It was a part of who she was as succubus. She could never be removed, not if she’d been with anyone physically, sexually. It was a kind of imprinting on the heart and soul that could be both good and bad.
For humans, the sensation wasn’t as strong. It didn’t move them or linger in the way that they were never able to get over being with her if thing
s ended; there would always be a scintilla of that feeling, emotion, connection to her as a succubus but it wasn’t enough to never get over her. But for shifters, Kara had learned the hard way that it was different. Shifters like Ratty latched on and they were unable to let go. Something in them was stronger. Maybe it was that they were more animalistic, their instincts and maybe even pheromones making the connection or the feeling of the connection more powerful.
Whatever it was, it drove them – Ratty – crazy, making him obsessive. Although, there might appear to be some kind of reprieve, it always came back. And then Kara would have to try to reverse it and push against what she gave off. This power was weaker and less manageable and less effective for long-term staying power. So, Ratty calling was no accident and if he had caught wind of her having a date – it was enough provocation for stirring up those old feelings.
She looked back at the bedroom door one more time before walking off to answer the call… If this had happened with Merk, she knew what thoughts would be going around in her mind. Still, she had to answer. She would worry about excusing herself later. Kara hoped she wasn’t ruining things with Merk. With a sigh, she walked to the front of the house and stepped outside onto the porch.
“How are you?” said a snide voice.
“What do you want, Ratty?”
“Oh, I just wanted to check on you… I heard that you had a date tonight and I just wanted to see how it went?”
Kara stepped down from the porch, moving further away from the house, her anger rising.
“Stop this. You don’t get to do this. Okay? You don’t. It’s been a year and a half –”
“Close. One year, eight months, and three days, sunshine,” he answered.
“Stalker much?”
“Not stalking. Guarding. This is my town, Kara. Nothing happens in it without me knowing, especially when it comes to someone that is mine.”
“I was never yours, Ratty,” she shot back. “I’m not something you own.”
“You know what I mean,” he answered.
His choice of words was specific. Ratty never said anything without perfectly weighing the effect of his words. Everything had a point, a meaning. This phone call, at this moment, when she had decided to go to Merk’s house, had meaning.
“Are you having me followed?”
“Now why would you think that?” he asked.
Just as he answered, she saw two creatures on four legs strolling down the street. At first, they just looked like two animals, dogs, on the prowl, possibly scavenging for some scraps of food. But as they moved forward, drawing closer to the house, they looked over at her. They were big. Dark colored. And they weren’t dogs. They were wolves. Very big wolves. Their eyes glowed a vicious yellow, golden almost. They eyed her, taunting her, wanting her to know that they saw her. Ratty had sent them.
“Stop it! Do you hear me?! Fuckin’ stop it now!” Kara said into the phone, her voice hard and demanding.
“Stop what?” the voice on the other end queried.
“Ratty… I swear to God –”
“Now, let’s not get all religious here, Kara… I think we are way passed that, given what we both know how this world really works.”
Kara was standing outside Merk’s house. It was a nice house. And Merk seemed like he was a nice man and she imagined that he was everything that a woman could want in a man. She knew all of that from just one date. No matter what darkness he was hiding in his past, there was something good inside of him that she could feel and it called out to her.
Kara liked to think that they both had that in common, that her past didn’t determine who she was in the present or who she’d become in the future. She felt all of this about him in the hallway at the school yesterday when she and Merk had first met. Merk drew her as much as she had drawn him. And at dinner she could see how he was trying to make peace with his past. But her own past, Ratty, it wouldn’t leave her alone and she wondered if it ever would. Kara felt like it was all hopeless.
The last guy that she had been interested in couldn’t hold out against Ratty and his hold on her and this town, despite her objections and staying away from him. What made her think that Merk would be any different?
Ratty started to say something else but Kara was done with the conversation. There was nothing that he could say that would add any meaning to the moment or her life except good-bye and she knew that he would never say those words.
The two wolves were still on the street, both sitting in front of Merk’s driveway and both staring pointedly at her, blatantly trying to intimidate her. But Kara hadn’t been scared of Ratty or his brothers and cousins before and she wouldn’t be now. She was sure that there would be some kind of consequence or repercussion for what she was about to do but she didn’t care. She wanted to make her stance clear: she was her own woman and no one would decide her life for her. Kara hung up the phone as Ratty was talking.
She marched down the driveway towards the wolves. As she got closer to them, they stood on all fours and their eyes shifted from just watching to a stalking gaze; their backs hunched and they looked ready to attack but that didn’t deter her. She approached them. They didn’t know what she was about to do and neither did she, but she knew that something had to be done, an example needed to be made.
“Tell Ratty I said, ‘fuck off!’ You got that? You and you too – fuck off! I swear to God that if any of you show your mutt faces around here again, I will –”
Their growl startled her and caused her to give pause. Their teeth were cruel and vicious, ready to tear into flesh. She could see the salivation, the foam building in their mouths as they eyed her with piercingly emblazoned golden eyes and dilated black pupils. The wolves should have scared her but instead they just made her angry. Threatening and menacing, Ratty had sent them as a warning or as an intimidation. The nerve of that asshole, she thought.
“Like I said, fuck off!” she flicked them both off and then wheeled around to head back up the driveway.
She heard the wolves growl behind her. Only more intimidation tactics, she knew that they weren’t sent there to harm her. She continued up the driveway, not looking back, hoping that Ratty and his wolf pack got the message and would just leave her and Merk the fuck alone. But still… The chances of that were slim. She knew Ratty. As much as she didn’t want to feel concerned, she did. Kara looked down at the phone in her hand, wishing she had made a different choice, not in hanging up on Ratty but in dating him to begin with.
That version of herself was someone she wished hadn’t existed. But she had. And she had learned from that and now Kara was here – at Merk’s house. A low growl, guttural came from the curb. The golden eyes of the wolves beamed back at her. Ratty. The Fairweathers. Fuckin’ Wolf Shifters. Kara lifted her hand and raised a middle finger to them one last time. She went back inside.
***
Going back into the house, Kara thought about Merk and what was about happen between them. It had gotten pretty heavy before. She hadn’t meant to be so into him. But from the moment that they left the restaurant, she knew where things were headed.
At dinner, she had tried her best to remain low key, not wanting to give into her own whims and desires. She liked Merk a lot and wanted him badly. At the same time, she had tried her hardest to resist his charm during dinner. But everything she had said to test his mettle, to see if he was who she believed he could be, he had met with equal force. In the end, she had found herself vulnerable and sharing with him intimate and private glimpses into her life and herself.
She hadn’t been so open to that since… Will. It pained her to think about him and how she let Ratty come in between them. But she knew that it was more than that, there was more to it than just Ratty. She had a secret too. And in the end, it was Ratty and who she was that destroyed her and Will.
Desire was a dangerous thing. It was even more dangerous when it was between someone like her, a succubus, and someone like Ratty, a Wolf Shifter. She knew that wh
o she was and what she gave off, either intentionally or just naturally, affected things, had changed Ratty, making him even more compulsive and obsessive than he already was. She was the cause, the catalyst, and she had to live with that.
But here she was again. With Merk. He was so much like Will. She knew that that was part of the attraction. Yet, there was something different about him, more, he had a power about him that she didn’t recognize or understand. There was control and certainty and strength. His force attracted her the most – not just physically either, although that was definitely there – but it was all over him: his essence and aura, Merk’s energy, it exuded and screamed strength.
Kara was sure that he was her equal, more so than anyone before, and it astounded her because he was just a man, not that that wasn’t enough, but she was a succubus and usually she was too much for another person. Just like she had been for Will and Greg before him. But Merk was different. He had an air of confidence and certainty about him that allowed him to leave himself vulnerable in many ways. But that was okay. He didn’t need to be the best at everything.
She knew others that had more power, existential and beyond, and were supernatural like her - otherworldly, and still their insecurities were the catalyst for all their actions. This was part of what broke her and Ratty up. His insecurities, his need to control everything and be a part of everything that she did. Merk was different. And she could see that already.
So when they had left the restaurant, she knew the direction in which she was going to instruct him to go. His house. It was strange. Just watching him drive (she had glanced over at him off and on) she had felt drawn to him. It was weird to be the one being pulled when you were like she was – she had the power to influence and pull, draw and compel, push and inspire, but somehow Merk was having that effect on her.
The Panther's Rival Page 4
