But what choice did she have other than to obey?
Chapter Twelve
Despite the incessant churning in Savannah’s stomach, she carried on with the plan to meet Tom back at the shop. She’d gone home to take a hot shower in the hope that it might burn Lucas’s scent from her skin and the memory of him from her mind, but it did little to make her feel clean. Still, she knew that if she canceled, it would set her back with Tom. Though she wasn’t feeling much in the mood anymore, taking steps back would only make Lucas angry on top of her missing her chance of something more with Tom in the future.
She frowned at the thought. As if the possibility of having anything with Tom was even an option anymore. It never was. Lucas had made sure to remind her of that fact, that this was all a game by his design. She was nothing more than a pawn to be used by him to get what he desired. None of what she’d built with Tom was real.
As she walked numbly into the office of the mechanic shop, the scent of hot Chinese hit her nostrils. Her stomach roiled aggressively, and she held her hand over her mouth and nose to keep the smell out.
Almost immediately, Tom was by her side. “Is something wrong? Is the smell of the food bothering you?” he asked, voice heavy with concern.
“No, no, I’m fine,” Savannah assured, though it couldn’t be further from the truth. “I guess all that swimming exhausted me to the point of having no appetite, or something,” she lied, hoping that she’d kept her voice and heartbeat neutral enough to keep from sounding any alarms in Tom’s head.
“Oh, okay. It’s fine if you don’t want to eat,” Tom said. “I was wondering what you’d want to do first anyway, so that answers that.”
“First?”
“Yeah, which first, eating or talking,” he clarified, a slight smile on his face.
“Oh,” she muttered, feeling foolish. “Right, sure.” She could see his grin fall at her lack of emotion and slumped shoulders. “Eating first is fine, by the way,” she finished, weakly.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked. “You’re acting totally different, and it’s only been a couple hours. Did something happen?”
She tried to fake a reassuring smile. “Oh, yeah. Everything’s fine. It’s just, our last talk was so… heavy. I kind of get lost in thought as I brainstorm about it, that’s all.”
He nodded his understanding. “Alright. As long as everything’s fine.” He turned towards the locked door at the back of the office. “I’m going to go grab a few dishes out the back. Do you mind setting out the food while I’m gone?”
“No, not at all,” Savannah replied, watching as he undid several locks on the door before slipping inside. Just like the first time, a familiar scent wafted past her nose as the door closed behind him, her bear raising its head up on high alert. She still couldn’t quite pinpoint the smell, though. It only raised more questions in her mind.
What was going on back there? Why hadn’t any of them so much as mentioned it to her since she’d arrived? Why was the door locked? Several times?
It reminded Savannah that, though maybe not as bad as infiltrating an enemy pack and seducing an alpha bear into her leader’s trap, this alpha pack still had secrets of its own. She quieted her bear, promising that she’d work to fit a question or two about the locked room into the conversation tonight. She wasn’t in the mood to do much more than talking anymore, anyway.
***
Tom slipped quietly past Dan, the man was already asleep for the night. He had to work to remain silent; just the mere scent of Savannah as she entered the office was enough to make his hands aquiver.
The moment he’d walked out of sight and sound of her back at the lake, he’d called himself all kinds of foul names for being so stupid. ‘Too much, too soon’? What kind of excuse was that for an alpha to give the woman he fancied?
He knew it was the right thing to do, but it took some self-persuasion to not make a third dive into the lake and take her right there in the water.
He’d talked himself down from the precipice of desire since then, but now she was here, back within arm’s reach of him but acting like a completely different person. Had he really made the right call back in the forest?
“I can hear your mentally fretting all the way over here,” Dan grumbled, sitting up.
“Sorry,” Tom said softly. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”
“I wasn’t asleep,” the man replied. “Just thinking with my eyes closed.”
Tom raised an eyebrow. “You counting down the days until you’re finally out of my hair like I am?”
Dan coughed a small chuckle. “Something like that,” he mumbled. “Actually, your brother came to chat today.”
“Oh?” Tom prompted, already predicting what the conversation was about.
“Yeah, surprised the heck out of me,” Dan said. “He didn’t stay long, but basically spelled out the position I’m in right now.”
“You mean being packless, injured, and utterly alone in this cold, cruel world?”
Tom had been surprised at first to find that he and Dan shared a similar sense of humor, but now as Dan cracked a grin, he was just happy they could share some idle chatter and get his mind off Savannah, if only for a short time.
“Yeah, something like that. “
Tom chuckled. “So what was your answer?” He saw Dan’s mild look of shock and shrugged. “Yeah, I know it may come as a surprise, but I’m in this pack too.” He flashed a grin. “So I’m usually made aware of possible additions to the group beforehand, as weird as that sounds.”
Dan laughed. “Yeah, yeah, I get it.” He rubbed his hand over his mouth, wiping away the smile. “In all honesty, I told him I wasn’t sure. That I’d think on it. You guys have been good to me, and I have nothing left with the Northern Wind, but I don’t want to think my only options are to choose one pack over another. There’s a lot of factors to consider before I have an answer.”
Tom nodded. “I can respect that. It’s not an easy decision to make.” He was sure there was more that Dan wasn’t comfortable enough with him to share, but Tom didn’t really care about the pillow talk much past making sure that Dan wasn’t going to betray them to Lucas. Speaking with him hadn’t raised any red flags thus far, so he allowed the injured bear the benefit of the doubt until something changed.
Dan nodded towards the dishes in Tom’s hands. “Dinner for two tonight?”
Tom cracked a small grin. “Yeah. You aren’t jealous, are you?”
Dan shrugged the accusation away. “Why would I be? I’ve been making my own food for the past week. I’m just wondering why you’re in here chatting with me when you’ve got someone out there waiting for you to return.” Tom’s grin fell a bit. Savannah was out there waiting for him, and he was hiding with the Northern Wind bear in an effort to avoid the complicated situation he’d gotten himself into.
He muttered a curse under his breath, hiding it with his own shrug. “I thought you might be lonely in here all by yourself and figured you could use the chitchat, but hey, you’re absolutely right. I have a hot date eagerly awaiting my return, so it’s about time I get back to her.” He sounded unsure of himself, even to his own ears.
Dan snorted. “There’s that mental fretting again.” He looked knowingly at Tom. “Girl problems?”
Tom waved the question away. “Nothing more than the usual song and dance that comes with meeting a girl and wondering if it’s worth pursuing.” Only except it wasn’t the usual. It was so much more than normal and vastly different than any other girl Tom had dared to take steps with. Tom knew his time with them was temporary, but with Savannah, his attraction was swift and electric. It consumed his body when she was near him, his thoughts when she was away. She’d come into his world asking for trust and walked away with his sanity. He didn’t know or want to contemplate what this meant for him, but he knew he wanted to see where this new relationship took him. Though, after seeing that distant look on her face as she walked through the shop entrance, he was j
ust hoping she still felt the same way.
Despite this, he didn’t think he and Dan were particularly close enough to start chatting about woman gossip, so he kept his thoughts to himself. He wasn’t really keen about over sharing anyway. Shrugging, he finished, “I’m sure you’ve been there before.”
“Well if you’re up for taking unsolicited advice from the injured enemy bear that’s crashing on your couch, I say just let whatever happens, happen,” Dan replied. “What’s the harm? At worst, you had yourself a good bit of fun with someone you like. At best… you had a good bit of fun with someone you love and are happy to spend the rest of your life with them keeping the good times rolling. Not a bad problem to have, if you ask me.”
Tom nodded, unwilling to admit aloud that Dan had actually given him some pretty sound advice. “I’ll keep that in mind. I better get going.”
Dan leaned back on the couch, wincing only slightly as he propped his leg up on the cushions. “Don’t let me keep ya. It’s not like I’m going anywhere any time soon.”
Tom offered Dan a small wave before slipping back out of the room with renewed resolve about the woman that waited to dine with him.
What’s the harm?
***
Savannah was practically vibrating with nerves when Tom finally returned with the plates. At first she was relieved to have a bit more time to herself, but he’d been gone for so long that flashes of old romantic comedy movies had begun to play in her mind, and she pictured Tom as the man crawling out of a high bathroom window simply to get away from his terrible date. It was uncanny, only this time, no one was laughing.
“Sorry I kept you,” Tom apologized, setting out the dishes. “There wasn’t a clean dish back there. I had to deviate from the snatch and grab plan and wash some plates or else we’d be eating out of our hands,” he said with a grin.
She tried to smile back, but if it looked twice as strong as it felt, it was still pretty feeble. It was far from convincing, so she turned to busy herself with a fresh cup of coffee. “It’s no worry. I like the quiet.”
She dumped extra sugar in the cup, breathing in the strong scent of the beans. She needed the pick-me-up. “So I saw that you got shredded beef as well as sweet and sour. I’m okay with either, so you can take your pi—” She gasped hard as Tom’s arm slipped softly around her waist.
“What if I pick you instead?” he growled, lips close enough to her ear that she could feel the warmth of his breath as it tickled her neck. It sent delicious shivers through her body.
“What happened to ‘too much, too fast’?” Savannah breathed, heart hammering frantically in her chest, in equal parts anticipation and fear. As his lips laid the first feather-light kiss on the curve of her neck, Savannah let out a long sigh, closing her eyes and allowing herself a moment to enjoy the pleasure he was giving her. Things were finally moving forward; why she insisted on picking at the situation by asking too many questions was beyond her comprehending.
Savannah stood completely still, letting Tom know that she wasn’t going anywhere. Taking her cue, he touched another gentle kiss to her neck. She tipped her head back to give him better access to her neck, and with a growl he pulled her back against him.
She made a small noise of surprise in the back of her throat as she felt him already hard and willing, his erection pressing firmly into the small of her back. The shiver that rocked her body in response to him was amazing, and she ground her hips back into him, urging him to keep going.
He rumbled a rough growl against her throat, pulling away for a short moment to look at her. He seemed to search for something in her eyes, and she remained deathly still, not sure how to react. Just when she thought he might step away for good, he let out a shuddering sigh before dropping his lips to hers.
Savannah’s first immediate reaction was to tense up, but she forced her body to relax. She willed herself to remove all doubt and fear from her mind. This moment wasn’t Lucas’s or the Northern Wind’s. It was only hers and Toms, so he was all she’d think about right now. His tongue darted between her parted lips, tangling with hers and coaxing a soft moan from her throat.
He broke the kiss only to spin her around to face him. She barely had enough time to catch her breath before his lips were back on hers, kissing her harder and with more hunger than before.
She pressed her hands against his chest, feeling the hard muscles beneath his shirt before snaking them up over his shoulders and snagging two rough handfuls of his hair. She pressed him as close to her as she could, tugging crudely on his hair and drawing an exhilarating growl from deep within him.
A fire ignited deep in Savannah’s belly, and she gave herself up to the sensations that Tom was bringing out in her. She could barely think as the warmth spread through her body, setting her ablaze. Flame followed his fingertips as they ran up and down her back, before tentatively wrapping around her body and over the soft mound of her breasts.
In a surprising twist, Lucas’s face appeared in the forefront of Savannah’s mind. A violent bout of nausea suddenly overcame her, and she shoved herself backward with panicked alarms sounding bells and whistles in her head. It was like she’d been doused with ice water, all at once, the fire within her had simply vanished, and she was left shivering in the cold.
“Savannah,” Tom asked, his voice still husky with desire, but also lilted with a hint of concern. “What happened? Did I—”
Savannah swallowed hard shaking her head. “No, you didn’t… Tom, I can’t… I mean… I—” There were no words that could explain what just happened in a way he’d understand. “I have to go,” she whispered weakly, slipping past him before he could properly comprehend her rejection. “I’m so sorry.”
She heard him call out her name from somewhere behind her, but it only made her move faster. She couldn’t face him. Not tonight. Everything with Lucas was still too fresh, too real. The first dreadful tear slid down her cheek as she tore off into the night, whispers of what could have been still flickering false fantasies through her anxious and defeated mind.
Chapter Thirteen
Savannah woke the next morning with a thundering headache pounding behind her eyes, courtesy of all the crying she’d done the night before. Everything was going wrong. Lucas had reminded her that he still existed. After she ran out on Tom last night, things with him were more complicated than ever. The guilt of her secrecy was beginning to eat her alive. Just when she thought that she might get a bit of good in her life, she was made painfully aware of everything that could go awry.
Would she have been waking up in his arms right about now if she hadn’t let Lucas get to her last night? Would she have found the courage and safety she needed to break free from the Northern Wind’s chains in the warmth of Tom’s embrace? She’d never know now, and she had no one to blame but herself.
She was starting to think that happiness just wasn’t on the cards for her.
Knowing she had to get up soon or risk being late at the office, she rose out of bed with an exhausted sigh. She dressed quickly in casual clothes, opting to skip over breakfast and have a small cup of coffee once she got to the mechanics. Her stomach still hadn’t fully recovered from all the roiling it had done the night before, grumbling discontentedly at the thought of possibly eating an egg or two before setting out. She only hoped that her lack of food and sleep wouldn’t affect her performance too much. What had happened last night was strictly between her and Tom. Jo and Nick didn’t deserve to suffer at the hands of her incompetence because she’d decided to take a foolish risk and failed.
She groaned inwardly, knowing that she’d see him at the office at some point. What would she say? What would she do? How was she supposed to react to the man who’d confessed his attraction to her, only for her to run away without so much as a glance backward? She didn’t know. She had no answers at all, not a single one. Surprisingly, it made her more frustrated than frantic.
“You could just stick to your orders and get it over with,” Sava
nnah muttered to herself, pulling a light jacket on as she exited the house. Her bear protested immediately, and she agreed without dwelling on the ridiculous self-served advice.
Throughout her time with the alpha pack, she’d made running her original impression of them through the mental wringer something of an art form. She could recite a mantra that Dan was dead, that Jo had hit him, that the Northern Wind would be forever splintered by their act of cold-blooded murder. While that might have worked way back when she knew nothing of the alphas and their capacity to care for those around them, she was now much too knowledgeable about their compassion and main goal to simply live a peaceful life in Woodhaven.
She could remind herself that Dan was dead, she could remind herself that Tom’s pack had killed him, but then she could only recall how Lucas led with fear and rage, how the Northern Wind as a whole thrived off chaos and pain. The two packs were so different from one another. After having lived among both of them, she’d noticed early on that only one pack lacked the blatant moral compass and compassion that would allow them to kill in cold blood.
It wasn’t the alphas.
If they had in fact killed Dan, she knew, without a shadow of a doubt in her mind, that there was a reason for it. There had to be. And rather than exhaust her mind guilting herself over the secrets she’d decided to keep, she made her mind up that her time here would be best spent getting to the bottom of what exactly happened on the night Dan died. Once she got all the information out in the open, she promised herself that she’d make a decision on whether or not to incur Lucas’s wrath. She asked herself, was it really worth forsaking the Northern Wind?
She was still utterly terrified of Lucas yes, but now that she’d learned that other packs like Tom’s existed, she couldn’t help but think that maybe some things are worth fighting for.
***
“You’re in a foul mood this morning,” Nick commented lightly.
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