Dan grinned, finally feeling a bit more like himself than he had all morning. “Not at all, boss.”
Chapter Three
Unfortunately, all hope for an easy night out with the boys fell short.
“Jo was pretty quick to remind me of the dinner reservation we have this evening at a place outside of town. She set it up a week ago, if I cancelled, she’d kill me,” Nick explained, remorsefully. “Tom already had plans with Savannah at the lake, too. Sorry about getting your hopes up, Dan. I didn’t mean to let you down.”
Ignoring the swift kick of disappointment, Dan shrugged. “It’s no big, I don’t mind drinking alone.” He grinned. “Besides, maybe this way I can finally get some action, eh? Girls love the lone, dark stranger type!”
Nick chuckled. “After some female company, are you?” he grinned, slapping Dan’s arm. “Is that what’s been bothering you today?”
Dan shrugged again, feigning nonchalance. “Nah, I just got up on the wrong side of bed this morning,” he lied quickly, dancing away from the topic of his love life—or lack thereof. “But don’t worry about me. I’ll head out early for a run in the woods before going to the bar. Give you guys some alone time.”
Nick looked as if he wanted to protest, his eyes filled with guilt, but he settled on a small smile to mask his concerned expression. “Drink a beer for me, eh?”
Dan nodded, raising his hand in a wave. “You know it.” Without another word, he departed the shop. He knew that Nick saw the disappointment in his face because of the cancellation, but there was little either of them could do about it now. He’d get over it, he always did. Life’s too short.
The bear came easily as he cleared the tree line, shoving from his skin as he leapt hurriedly into the deep darkness of the forestry. His large frame shredded through his clothing as if they were made of paper, and he didn’t care. He was hurt, angry, and lonely. He just needed to get away.
Instead of trying to calm the bear inside of him, Dan let the emotions roll over his body as he ran. As the bear, there was no hiding his emotions in laughter and jokes. He felt everything; all the small thoughts and sentiments that he hid from the others, and from himself. It was overwhelming and therapeutic, and in a bout of pain, he lifted onto his hind legs, throwing his large head back and letting out a loud roar. He didn’t care if the others heard him; it felt good to let it all out. He stretched toward the leaves before falling back on all fours and tearing off through the trees once more.
Branches cracked and splintered as he barreled senselessly onward. He didn’t know where he was going or what he’d do once he got there, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered right now was that he ran. His bear reveled in the way the wind whistled past him, the way he didn’t have to worry about tripping over wrenches or knocking over cans of paint. The power felt… good. It made them feel in control. Dan hadn’t felt that way in a long time, basking in the sensation like the radiance of an old friend as the anger slowly left his body.
Eventually slowing to a halt, Dan threw himself onto the ground, rolling over and over in the dirt as he caught his breath. In times like this, the instinct of the bear felt really nice. He could just roll around in some dirt and forget all of his sorrows, at least for a short while, so that’s what he opted to do.
Figuring the others should be long gone by now, he finally decided it’d probably be safe to return to the shop with minimal humiliation. A large part of him didn’t want to face Nick after the way he’d basically tucked tail after hearing a bit of bad news. He could play it off with jokes later, but seeing Nick again today would be much too soon.
He made a mental note to give the lake a wide berth on the way back, not wanting to disturb whatever private night Tom and Savannah had planned. Wincing, he worked not to dwell on thoughts of the mated pairs as he meandered back to the shop. As the side view of the garage came into view, he sampled the air. Their scents lingered, but it was nothing fresh. They were gone, as he had suspected.
He was quick to shower and dress, wanting to drown himself in booze as soon as possible before the weight of the day’s interrogations bared down on him once more. Being back in the shop only reminded him of the questions that would surely continue as the dread he felt at being mate-less became harder and harder to hide. Why was his bear so eager for a mate all of a sudden, anyway?
Was it being constantly surrounded by two mated pairs? Or maybe it was because with Lucas, the possibility of a mate was never even considered an option. Here, there wasn’t a constant need to fight for survival or intimidate pack mates. Did his bear think joining Mountain Haven was a cue to finally settle down? Dan didn’t know, and it only added to his building frustration.
Shaking his head in an attempt to free himself of the wayward thoughts, Dan finally set out for the bar. Wallowing in his misery would do little to solve the problem or provide him with answers, so it was best to stop thinking about it. He didn’t want to think about a mate he’d likely never have or peace he’d likely never find. His mind reached greedily for something simpler to ponder while he walked.
I wonder what the Northern Wind is doing right now…
Not exactly a simpler train of thought, but he’d take it. If Lucas stuck even slightly to some of his old routines, he was likely patrolling the borders of the alpha territory with whomever he’d appointed as his second in command after his leaving Dan to die. The memory still stung, but Dan knew Lucas more than almost anyone else that remained in the Northern Wind. He’d long since stopped being surprised at his old leader’s ruthlessness.
He wondered what Lucas had scouted since their last encounter with him. How much did he know? Did he know that Nick was looking for reinforcements, more alphas to help pad the numbers if the two packs ever fell into war? Did he know that so far, no other pack wanted any part of it? Dan had his suspicions why. It was mainly to do with a certain human life-mate, but it wasn’t something he dared utter aloud, and not just because Lucas might overhear. He’d never seen Nick truly angry, but a shudder quaked down his spine at the thought of getting on his new leader’s bad side. Yep, definitely keeping his mouth shut.
When would the Northern Wind attack next? Dan wasn’t sure. It had been weeks since their last battle, but the memories of the bloodied and beaten Northern Wind leader were still fresh in Dan’s mind. He knew that Lucas was likely fully healed by now, and angrier than ever at yet another failed attack. He was always angrier. A bite of conscience worried at the back of his mind, silently praying for the wellbeing of his old pack mates. They were not exactly close, for a good reason depending on the bear, but they didn’t deserve whatever wrath Lucas would exact upon them for his own failure. Dan had been in their shoes more than once.
The initial plan to spread truth to the Northern Wind had backfired violently all those weeks ago, and in the time since, Dan was at a loss at how to go about it post-battle. How much had changed since he and Savannah had sworn their loyalty to Nick? How many more young, impressionable bears had Lucas ensnared in his trap of abuse and tyranny? Dan didn’t know. He felt like he didn’t know much at all these days.
There was one thing that was completely certain to him regarding the Northern Wind pack, though. He couldn’t quit. He needed to find a way back to their territory. He needed to find a way to save as many bears as possible before Lucas corrupted them, before they succumbed to an endless life of darkness the way he had. They didn’t deserve this eternal curse of unhappiness. No one did. Not even Lucas.
“For some of us, it’s too late,” Dan breathed, puffs of white air billowing outward into the cool evening weather. But not all of us, he finished internally, renewing his fervor to save those who needed it most.
No more sulking, he declared, as he swung open the old bar doors. Tonight, I’ll drink, but tomorrow, I’ll get things done.
Almost immediately, Dan collided with someone who felt like they were made of solid brick. Stumbling backward, he ran a frustrated hand down his face before muttering,
“Got eyes, pal?”
As his vision cleared, he locked onto the man that still stood in the doorway and realized that he might have made a small mistake. Dan knew he was a big guy; in both of the packs he’d been a part of, he was smaller in size only to Nick and Lucas. But as he stared at the man before him, he was painfully aware that he stood eye level with this man’s shoulder. He was big.
Not just in size, either. His stringy tank top showcased hills and valleys of overly bulging muscles, darkened by a large expanse of tattoos that didn’t seem to end at any point below the man’s neck. He glared down at Dan with murderous intent in his eyes, and Dan knew that human or not, this wasn’t a man he wanted to mess with.
“Got somethin’ ta say?” the man sneered, eyes narrowing as his hot breath coiled around Dan’s jowls. It was heavy with the scent of alcohol.
“Not at all,” Dan muttered. Drunken humans were touchy, mercurial creatures. He’d have to diffuse the situation quickly. “Sorry to bother. My mistake.”
“Yeah,” the stranger growled lowly, jabbing one large finger deep into Dan’s chest. He was surprised that it kind of hurt. “It was.”
Dan held up his hands in a placating gesture. “I’m not trying to cause any trouble, bud. I’ll just be on my way and you can hate me from wherever you’re going.” He nodded amicably to the man who still seemed to be fuming before carefully shouldering past him into the bar. He made sure not to make any bodily contact for fear of setting off the human, but it was difficult; his large frame took up a considerable portion of the doorway.
The man didn’t move as Dan made his way deeper into the bar, and slowly he allowed himself to exhale. The last thing he needed tonight was to get into a tussle with someone who’d pumped themselves up with one too many steroids. He’d hate having to explain that to Nick.
Even as he walked, he made sure not to take his vision completely off of the man, in case he decided that he wanted more trouble before departing into the night. Thoroughly distracted by the angry man behind him, Dan didn’t notice that he wasn’t the only person he needed to dodge. Promptly, he toppled into yet another body.
This time, it was the other person who stumbled backward, hard and sudden enough to make them fall to the floor.
“Shit,” Dan exclaimed quietly, internally scolding himself and his terrible clumsiness as his feet tangled with the legs of the fallen human. He lurched forward, sure to land on the person below him. In the last second, his hands shot out, latching awkwardly on the countertop, stopping his descent.
The room fell deathly silent around him, and he felt the beginnings of embarrassment warm his cheeks as a small chuckle sounded from the floor.
“Well you’re certainly clumsier than most, I’ll say,” the voice chided lightly. “Can you lend me a hand?”
“Oh, uh, yeah, sure…” Dan’s response died on his lips as his eyes locked with the most beautiful woman he’d ever met.
Chapter Four
“Well?” the woman prompted with a smile, lightly waving the hand she’d being holding upward.
“Right,” Dan said, nodding too many times before grasping the proffered hand. He moved the stools out of her way as she stood, raising a hand to help dust the dirt off the floor of her clothes before thinking better of it.
“I’m so sorry,” he muttered, his hand falling limply to his side. “I should have been watching where I was going.”
She lifted one dark eyebrow. “Maybe so,” she agreed in a strong deep voice that offered no room for rebuttal. Then her gaze softened and her smile returned. “But I’m sure it wasn’t done on purpose.”
“Th-there was a guy…” Dan began to explain, but realized it didn’t matter. “I, uh… how about I buy you a drink to make up for all of this?” he asked grinning in an attempt to mask his embarrassment. Her blue eyes sparkled as she smirked back at him, and a heavenly scent of cinnamon and vanilla cut through the smell of beer and whiskey to meet his nose.
“Another time, sailor” she promised. “I’m otherwise engaged for the night.”
“Ah, all right,” Dan replied, hiding his immediate disappointment behind another quick smile. “Another time then,” he repeated with a nod.
She returned his smile, though something remained serious in her eyes. “Hopefully sometime soon, eh?” she quipped softly as she made her way to the exit. “Until then.” She shot him a playful wink and a wave before making her departure.
Dan watched her leave the entire time, muttering a hasty ‘goodbye’ a little too late for her to hear. As the door swung closed behind her, he mentally punched himself for not asking for her number.
“How the hell are you supposed to meet up with her, now?” he grumbled solemnly to himself. “You don’t even know her name, dumbass.” His bear growled lowly in his chest, as if agreeing with the sentiment.
He battled shortly with a mad urge to run after her and right his mistake, but a feeling told him that the moment to act had passed and stumbling through the bar doors to beg for her number would only make him seem desperate. She’d be around the bar sometime soon, right? He’d come here every night if it meant meeting her again. With a nod of surety, he sat himself at the bar to get a much-needed beer.
As if reading his mind, the bartender slid him a chilled tall glass of hops, the foam from the tap spilling leisurely over the rim. With a nod of gratitude, Dan sipped his beer in silence. He thought about maybe playing a game of pool or darts to keep his mind occupied, but after the spectacle he made of himself only a short while ago, he didn’t think he’d be able to take the heckling that drunken humans were known for without a bit of his bear slipping out in retaliation.
Alone, it is, he muttered inwardly with a sigh. Drinking alone, eating alone, sleeping alone. He was always alone. Lonely, he corrected himself. Allowing a stunning woman to slip through his fingers mere hours after lamenting that pickings were slim only reminded him of just how lonely he’d likely always be. “Don’t forget the part where you pushed her onto the floor and nearly crushed her under your fat, clumsy body,” he muttered angrily to himself before tossing back the glass to finish the beer in a single gulp.
As he pounded the glass back down on the bar, a fresh chilled mug of beer slid his way. “On the house,” the bartender declared. “You look like you need it.”
Dan looked from the beer to the bartender with mild confusion on his face. First Nick, now this guy. Was everyone in Woodhaven so damned nice? His mind flashed to the roid-raging muscle head that blocked his entrance into the bar. Maybe not everyone.
He nodded his appreciation. “Thanks.”
The bartender returned his nod, muttering, “Don’t mention it,” as another patron shouted a drink order from the other end of the bar.
Dan took his time with this beer as his mind began to wander once more. His thoughts ranged from Lucas to mates to life after Mountain Haven, finding peace and back again, never seeming to discover solace in any one subject for too long. He was restless, without answers, and not even a chance to drown his sorrows in alcohol was remedying the niggling suspicion in the back of his mind that there was more to life than what he knew.
Was it because he was lonely, or worried about the impressionable members of the Northern Wind, or just that he had a small world view from having spent so many years only living in the deep forests surrounding Woodhaven? He wasn’t sure. Maybe after all this was over and done with, he’d talk to Nick about doing some travelling, broaden his horizons and maybe even find a girl to bring home.
His mind wafted back to recent memories of the dark haired woman that had departed the bar only a short while ago. He allowed himself a moment to believe that maybe he wouldn’t have to make his travels alone if he played his cards right in the coming days. He quickly waved the thought away, discounting it as ridiculous. As tantalizing as a happily ever after with the mysterious beautiful woman at the bar sounded, he was after a long and fulfilling relationship that he didn’t think he’d ever find in a human.
Sure, Nick had found something like that in Jo, but he had always seemed more in tune with his human side than most bears. The more Dan thought about Nick’s unconventional union with Jo, the more it made sense. Dan couldn’t be more different. His human form was more of a hindrance, and though he wouldn’t even wish life in the Northern Wind on his worst enemy, he longed for the days when most of his daily tasks could be done in bear form. Finding a mate that would force him to be in this human skin almost all the time - The very thought made him shudder. No lifetime with a human, God willing.
But a night? He definitely wasn’t opposed to that.
***
Dan stomached a few more drinks before calling it a night. He’d taken up enough of the bartender’s time sulking in the corner of the bar. Also, he was long since tired of smelling the occasional waft of pity whenever the bar patrons glanced his way. He must’ve looked as depressed as he felt.
“Thanks,” Dan muttered as he stood, paying for his drinks and leaving a little extra despite one being ‘on the house’. “I think it’s about time I head on out.”
The bartender gave a haphazard wave. “Come back anytime.”
Dan smiled as the man turned back to the lingering patrons. Even if he didn’t get around to travelling, at least he had the nice residents of Woodhaven to look forward to every day. That would always be a pleasant change to the chilly distance everyone in the Northern Wind had shared. And what was more, Nick respected the humans of the territory he inhabited. He didn’t try to force them out or steer them away. He coexisted with them in a way that Lucas wouldn’t dare attempt. There was something comforting in having a leader that knew when to show leniency and respect in all things.
As he made his way to the door, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He saw Jo’s name light up the screen and lifted the phone to his ear. “Everything all right?” he asked as a greeting.
He heard Jo sigh on the other end of the line. “In the grand scheme of everything we’ve got going on, I guess it’s not that big a deal but…” her voice trailed off into another long sigh that made Dan smile.
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