The bar. Oh my God! Fear rolls through me and I’m in utter disbelief of what an idiot I was for taking that drink when I should have known better. What the hell was I thinking? Obviously, I wasn’t thinking at all. I was cold and since the bartender didn’t have any coffee ready I took what was available to warm me up quickly. I swear I only took a sip. I would never drink liquor of any kind, especially not since I blacked out that one time in my dorm room when my roommate and I decided to celebrate finals being over in college. Worst mistake of my life. Okay, second worst mistake of my life. My worst mistake was marrying Mitch.
Nonetheless, I vowed never to touch another drop of alcohol for as long as I lived. The nausea and hangover I had woken up with the day after was enough of a deterrent that I never did it again. But I wasn’t thinking about that. I’d been so distracted and mentally exhausted that my decision making went right into the shitter.
That still doesn’t explain how I got home. I search my mind again and vaguely remember a man sitting at the bar with me. Oh no. Panic stricken I jump off the bed and race out the door to my room, down the hallway. What if that strange man took me home and did something awful to my boys. With my heart racing, I check the boy’s rooms and they’re both empty. I run towards the living room hoping, praying my stupidity hasn’t been the cause of my kids being harmed in any way.
I freeze when I reach the end of the hall and breathe a sigh of relief when I see Aiden and Caleb sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. Thank God for Tyler. I run right to my sons, grabbing them into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry you guys.”
Aiden looks up at me, his mouth full food. “Mommy, I can’t breathe.”
I let go and slide my hand over his thick dark hair. “Sorry baby. I’m sorry I missed dinner last night and breakfast this morning.”
“That’s okay mom, Ryder made us breakfast.”
“Morning Peaches.”
I whip around at the sound of Ryder’s voice behind me. He’s behind the kitchen island, sipping from a mug and looking all kinds of sexy in his gray t-shirt and tousled hair. What the Hell is he doing here? Alone in my house, feeding my kids breakfast, making himself right at home. Yesterday I felt bad for the way I treated him, but the smug grin he’s wearing now is mocking me of what a terrible mother I am. “What are you doing here? Where’s Tyler?”
He takes another sip from the mug and sets it down before picking up the ceramic bowl on the counter. He stirs the spoon around several times and walks over to the stove, pouring batter into a frying pan. He turns to face me and places the bowl back down on the counter.
“I am making the boys breakfast and Tyler is on his way to work.”
“Why didn’t he wake me up? The boys will be late for school. Just great.” I sprint across the kitchen floor, maybe if I just throw whatever I can find on I’ll have enough time to get the boys where they have to be.
“Mom! There’s no school today.” Aiden yells from the table.
“Why not?”
“It’s Saturday.”
I stand there for a minute wondering if I could look any dumber in front of Ryder. Not likely. I shuffle my feet against the tiled floor and slump onto a stool, laying my aching head on my arm.
Ryder pours me a cup of coffee and slowly slides it over to me. “Milk?”
I nod my head and he goes to the refrigerator. He places the container of milk in front of me and picks up the bottle of ibuprofen on the counter. He opens the small bottle, sliding two pills in my hand.
“Take these.”
“Thanks.”
“Mom?”
“Yeah Aiden?” I ask on an exhausted sigh.
“Ryder makes better pancakes than you do.”
Ryder, who is only a couple of feet away from me spews his coffee all over the counter as he laughs at my son’s brutal honesty. He smiles, wiping up the mess with a dishrag and glances at me before putting his head back down.
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“Enjoying what?”
“You know what?”
“If you mean seeing you suffer, no. If you mean Aiden, then yes. That boy is hilarious.”
“Mom, Ryder makes pancakes with lots of stuff. Not like from the box like you. They taste soooo much better.”
Ryder takes another sip of coffee and smiles at Aiden. “Thank you little man.”
“You think you’re cute, don’t you?”
He winks. “Maybe just a little.”
I swivel in my seat, turning my back to Ryder. “Aiden, are you finished with your pancakes and making fun of my cooking for the day?”
“I wasn’t making fun of you mom, I was just telling you the truth.”
I hear Ryder snicker behind me, but I don’t turn around and give him the satisfaction.
“Fine. Finish up and go get dressed so we can go to the park.”
“All right!”
Aiden jumps out of his seat, excited to finally have some fun for a change. The last few weeks I’ve been busy with work and the days we did have a break, it rained. When he reaches the doorway, I stop him. “Aiden wait!” I turn to Ryder. “What’s today’s date?”
“The fifteenth.” Ryder says.
“Damn it!” I shoot up out of my seat, realizing I booked a client today for an appraisal as a courtesy because he couldn’t make it during the week. I don’t do this often, so it wasn’t at the forefront of my mind.
“What’s wrong mom?” Aiden’s worried expression hits me right in the gut. I’ve seen that look on his face more times than I can count and I hate it. His father and I have certainly done a great job of creating more stress in his life than a child his age should have.
“Nothing honey. I have to go to work today, so we can’t go to the park. Oh, I have to call Tyler to come watch you.”
“But Uncle Tyler is at work.”
I grab my purse from the counter, pull out my phone, and power it on to check my schedule. “Oh no. I booked the wrong Saturday. What am I going to do now? I guess you guys will have to come with me to the museum.”
Aiden pouts, giving me a long whiney moan for affect. “Aww c’mon mom. I hate going there. It’s so boring.”
“I can take them to the park today.” Ryder says, brushing Aiden’s dark hair away from his forehead, then places his hand on my son’s shoulder.
That small action looked so natural and I think my ovaries may have done a little flip flop at the gesture. Why did Ryder make it seem so easy to connect with my son, when his own father couldn’t be bothered with him? Why did a stranger who knew nothing about Aiden want to spend time with him, when his own father blew him off every chance he got? These are questions I don’t think I’ll ever have the answers to because I can’t allow anyone else into my heart now. I need to be careful of who I let into my life. If a man who I loved for years could turn his back on his family, then who’s to say a stranger wouldn’t do the same.
I take another long look at the two of them. To someone standing on the outside they may appear to be father and son, but not to me, I know better. I know the truth and fact of the matter is, no man would ever dedicate the time and effort it takes to raise a kid with special needs that wasn’t his. Hell, Aiden’s own father had practically abandoned him already and I wasn’t going to put my son through anymore heartache. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t even know you. I’m not going to just hand my kids over to you.”
“What do you want to know?” He glances at his watch then back at me. “But you have to do this interview fast because you have to get to work and you’re running out of time.”
I tilt my head to the side, rolling my eyes at his presumptuous behavior. “This isn’t an interview Ryder. I…”
“Okay, let me speed this along. My name is Ryder Storm. I was born in Mountain View Hospital and grew up in the lovely state of Idaho, home of the potato, before moving here to make a life of my own. I have two older brothers and am the proud uncle of six nieces and nephews.
I live at 509 Cedar Drive. I’m an employee of Royal Express and have been working there for five years. I have no kids, I’ve never been married, and have no pets. I’m honest, reliable, and always punctual unlike some people I know. I have hundreds of hours in babysitting experience so I would be perfect for the job.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet. “And here is my work I.D. and social security card so you don’t worry your pretty little head about my true identity. I can give you the phone numbers of some personal references as well if you find that satisfactory.”
I don’t know whether to laugh my ass off at the summary of his life story or be downright annoyed. “Ryder…”
He taps his watch. “C’mon peaches, time’s a wastin’. Do I get the job or not?”
“Fine.” I snatch the cards out of his hand, waving them in his face. “But I’m making a copy of these.”
“Good, now go get ready.”
“Why do I have a feeling I’m going to regret this decision?”
“Everything will be fine. I swear your boys are in good hands.” He says, ushering me down the hall to my room.
“Wait! My car. It broke down last night before I went into the bar. How am I going to get to work?” Then it all comes flooding back to me that I still don’t know what the hell happened and how I got home. “Oh my God.”
“What’s the matter?”
“I think I may have done one of the stupidest and reckless things I have ever done in my life.”
“You did.”
“I knew it. Fuck me.”
He smirks. “Maybe later.”
“This isn’t funny Ryder. I got drunk and had sex with a complete stranger.”
“When?”
“Last night. I don’t remember anything besides that drink and sitting with…” I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to recall the man’s name.
“Oh, you mean Charles.”
“Yes! Wait, how do you know his name?”
“Because I’m the one who found you at the bar. I called Tyler and he was worried when you didn’t come home on time, so I brought you home since he had the kids. Well, technically I carried you home. You were not in any condition to walk on your own. So, no, you did not sleep with anyone last night. But that was a really bad decision on your part. What made you go into a place called The Slaughtered Sandbox to begin with?”
“Oh my God, that’s the name of the bar?”
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t know that. There isn’t a sign in front. Believe me if I knew that was the name of the bar I would have walked to the next business establishment down the road.”
“Well, I’m glad you didn’t because the nearest place was two miles away and it was cold last night. You would’ve froze to death with what you were wearing.”
I lean my head against the wall. “I’m the worst mother in the history of the world.”
He places his hand on my shoulder, straightening me. “You are not. From what I can see, you love those boys and they’re lucky to have you. Everyone makes mistakes Madison, no sense beating yourself up about it. Now, hurry up and go get dressed so I can drive you to work.”
“No. I’ll take a cab.”
“No you won’t. I’ll take you before I go to the park with the boys.”
“Ryder…”
“Just go get ready, you’re wasting more time.”
She huffs, turning on her heels. “Fine.”
“I would appreciate a little less attitude and a lot more gratitude.” I yell as she enters her bedroom.
Peeking her head out of the doorway, she clutches a shirt close to her chest, covering her bare skin. “You’re skating on thin ice.”
“What can I say, I like to live dangerously. Now hurry up and get ready.”
******
Ryder
Looking through my rearview mirror, I take a quick glance at the boys sitting in the backseat and smile at the happy expressions on their faces. We’re finally on our way to the park after getting a list of emergency phone numbers and a thirty-minute lecture on why Caleb had to sit in a booster when riding in the car. I wasn’t going to argue with her because I was going to suggest it before she said anything, but she was already worked up about last night and was late for her appointment with a very important client, so I let her blow off some steam.
I know these boys are all she has and would protect them at any cost. I’ll be sure to do the same. Being able to spend some alone time with them is a privilege and I was a little surprised Madison didn’t put up more of fight or have me fingerprinted before she allowed me to take care of the boys for a few hours.
I hope she sees how sincere I am about wanting to help her. I don’t know why, but she has already captured a piece of my heart and I don’t think I’ll ever get it back. I have a feeling she’s going to be the one to change my life forever; whether it will be in a good way or a bad way, I don’t know. Throwing caution to the wind is what I’m best at. I never had my life planned out and never thought about having kids of my own until the day Aiden jumped into my arms. He must have kicked started my heart into feeling something I’ve never felt before. Longing. A longing to have a family I never knew I wanted until that very moment.
“Ryder?”
“Yeah little man?”
“I’m hungry.”
I look at my watch and realize it’s lunchtime. By the time Madison got herself and the boys ready to go, then driving her to work, a few hours have passed since breakfast. “Okay, we’ll stop and get something before we go to the park. What do you want to eat?”
“Hamburger.”
“I think I can manage that.”
After a quick bite, I pull into a parking spot in front of Overlook park. I grab Caleb’s bag and stroller, then get the boys out of the car. Aiden takes off running toward the slide, but it isn’t too far and within my eyesight, so I let him go. Jostling Caleb in my arms, I throw his bag into the stroller and look into his bright blue eyes. “And you, look just like your Mommy.” He giggles and squirms out of my grasp, toddling over to his brother.
When the boys start to get restless I gather them up and place Caleb in his carriage. It’s starting to get chilly, so I cover Caleb with a blanket and insist Aiden put his hat back on despite his complaining that it makes his head itchy. “You wanna take a walk before we go home?”
Aiden slides his hand into mine, causing my heart to clench a little. This kid is so full of love it radiates off him. How could anyone not want to spend time with him? His father is a fucking jerk for not wanting to be with his son. Spending the day with Aiden and Caleb today was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time and hopefully I’ll get to see them more often.
I guide Aiden down the long path, holding his hand and pushing a sleeping Caleb in his stroller with the other. We sit on the bench and I pull Aiden’s hood over his head. It’s a bit colder by the water than up at the top of the hill. The cool breeze whips across the lake, causing small waves to ripple across the water. I enjoy the weather during this time of year. It’s cold enough to wear a light coat, but not cold enough for snow yet. Don’t get me wrong, I love the snow, I just hate driving in it. It takes almost double the amount of time to make deliveries than it normally would.
I look down at Aiden, seeing a troubled expression on his face. “What’s the matter? Is it too cold?” He shakes his head. “Are you tired? Do you want to go home?” He shakes his head again. “Then what’s the matter?” I turn to face him fully, placing my hand on his shoulder. “You know you can tell me anything right little man?” He nods. “Well, talk to me. What are you thinking about?” He shrugs his shoulders, turning his head to look out at the water again.
I do the same and continue to try and get him to tell me what’s on his mind. Maybe if I keep on talking he’ll feel more comfortable follow suit. “You know I come here a lot by myself.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.”
“Why do you come by yourself. Don't you get lonely?�
�
“Sometimes. Sometimes I like to be alone. It gives me time to think about things.”
”What kind of things?”
I sigh heavily. How does a person who has never shared their feelings with a single sole become so willing to divulge his most private thoughts to a seven-year-old? “Sometimes my mom, or my brothers, and I think about my dad a lot.”
“Is your dad nice?”
“He was. He died a long time ago.”
“Did you love him?”
“Very much.”
“Did he love you?”
“He did.”
He lowers his head, uttering his next statement with gut-wrenching sadness. “I love my dad, but he doesn’t love me.”
I snap my head in his direction, and twist my body in the seat to face him again. “Hey, look at me.” When his eyes meet mine, they are filled with tears that are threatening to fall. My heart breaks for this kid. Who in their right mind would knowingly hurt their child on purpose. Inside I’m seething, wanting to beat the crap out of his father for making Aiden feel like he isn’t wanted and loved. Right now, my job is not to let my anger rise to the surface because what this little boy needs is reassurance. Reassurance that there are people in his life that do love him. “Don’t say that Aiden. I’m sure your dad loves you very much.” I don’t know whether I’m lying to him or not, I really hope I’m not, but my priority is to make him feel better.
“No he doesn’t. If he loved me then he would come and see me.”
“Aiden…”
“It’s my fault my dad left. My mom cries all the time. I tried to be good, but my dad still didn’t come back.”
The tears pooled in his eyes finally come flooding down his face and I don’t think twice as I grab him in my arms and squeeze him into my chest. “It’s not your fault Aiden. You are a very special boy. Your mom and Tyler love you so much. You know that right?”
He nods against my neck. “Ryder?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you going to leave too?”
Delivered Through the Storm Page 8
