by Carol Ross
And what about the part of him that felt like he might disappear right along with the memories of his dad? Gareth hadn’t gotten into his stash in a week. And he’d been too tired to go on any raids—between working for Aidan, doing his regular chores and homework and playing basketball he was wiped out every night. He should feel freed or something from not needing that since he’d been falling asleep and staying that way the whole night through and he guessed he did in a way. But that made him feel guilty, too.
It was all so...much.
He was starting to think he wasn’t ever going to get better—that he wasn’t ever going to feel normal again. He was tired. He was really tired of feeling this way. He needed to figure some things out, face his own fears like Aidan had when he’d been bullied, like Aidan did every day when he went out to hunt bees.
But Gareth had already faced one fear, in a way, when Aidan had been stung. Gareth was pretty proud of how he’d managed to give Aidan the shot with the EpiPen. He hadn’t been nervous or scared. He remembered what Aidan had said, and that it would be easy if the time ever came because he would be prepared. That had felt good.
Gareth decided to do something he never did unless it was the pitch-dark of night. He crossed his bedroom and locked the door, hurried back to his bed and removed the fabric piece and the cardboard covering his stash spot. He pulled down his treasure box. He tucked what he needed between the mattress and box spring and put everything back in place. He unlocked his bedroom door—he knew his mom would get suspicious if she walked by and found that he’d locked himself inside.
He found a notebook in his desk drawer, propped up some pillows behind him on the bed so he could claim he was doing homework if Mom popped her head in. Crosby jumped up beside him and began to purr.
How did this cat always know when he was feeling down when the people in his life couldn’t even see it? Gareth took a few minutes to scratch his fat cheeks the way he liked. Gareth smiled as he let out one of his half meows and curled up on the raccoon-shaped pillow beside him. The love he felt for this big cat sometimes made his eyes well up with tears, not like he was going to cry, but like emotion wanted to ooze out of him. It was weird.
Then Gareth took a deep breath and a feeling of peace like he hadn’t experienced in a long time descended over him. He put his pen to the paper and settled in to write one final letter.
* * *
“WHAT IS SHE doing here, Blake?” Aidan unlocked the door to his current home. He’d really started to love this place. He’d already acquired so many fond memories—most involving Janie and her boys. He held the door for Blake before following him inside.
Blake spun a half circle, one direction and then the other. “What an outrageous place. I’m always amazed at your ability to settle in somewhere, Hollings. Looks like you’ve lived here for years and not just a few months. No matter what I promise myself going in, I inevitably end up living out of my suitcase like I’m on a vacation that’s lasted too long. Can’t tell which clothes are dirty, which are clean...”
Aidan smiled. This was true. Blake always looked put-together, but he was a slob. This was only one of the many ways the two friends were direct opposites.
Blake ambled toward the makeshift boxing ring. Aidan had quit assembling and disassembling the fenced-in area after their practices since Janie now knew the boys were boxing.
“Nice setup. I’d say we should go a couple rounds, but I know you’d knock me silly.”
“I might do that anyway, Blake.”
Blake snorted out a laugh. “Meredith came to me a couple of months ago really distraught, Aidan. She genuinely feels bad about what happened between the two of you. We talked—went out for dinner and...”
Aidan felt an uncomfortable wad of tightness in the pit of his stomach as if he’d swallowed a rotten apple—whole.
“So...what? You guys are dating now?”
Blake winced. “Uh, no. Jeez, Aidan, you’re my best friend and my business partner. Besides, I’m not a masochist.”
“Blake—”
“Aidan, I realize that things didn’t work out between the two of you. But you’re being kind of hard on her. I know there was a huge misunderstanding where the two of you are concerned. I do believe she’s changed, Aidan.”
Aidan stared at his friend and wondered how someone as brilliant as Blake could be so dense. But this was Meredith they were talking about here. He’d been stupid once, too, where Meredith was concerned. She had made it easy to be stupid. But he’d learned his lesson and he’d thought Blake had learned it right along with him.
Apparently not.
“A misunderstanding? Is that what she called it? She tried to steal from my mom and when I caught her she published an article about me that could have destroyed my career and nearly landed me in jail. I realize you were in Australia when this all went down, but you know this happened, Blake. You’ve seen the article. She accused me of trying to interfere in the Cocodrilo Reserve so my mom would have a steady supply of plants. So, which part did I misunderstand?”
“She says your mom shared the formula with her.”
“Blake, seriously? That formula is going to make my mom and her partners a lot of money, not to mention there’s the importance of the discovery itself. Why would she share it with anyone else, much less Meredith, before the deal was done?”
“Meredith said she didn’t realize the implications of what she was doing. She wanted to—”
Aidan lifted his hands, palms up, in a show of frustration. “Blake! Come on...”
“Well, she told me she wants to apologize. She hopes that what happened can all be water under the bridge.”
Aidan raked a hand through his hair and all he could wonder was what Janie was thinking right now. Meredith had strolled in, taken one look at the situation and immediately flaunted their engagement around like his nana did one of her lace hankies. Meredith had to have seen Janie’s expression—she’d done her best, he guessed, to mask her confusion and...disappointment? But Meredith was sharp when it came to reading people. There wasn’t a lot that she missed.
This was the last thing he needed; things were already one step forward, two steps back where Janie was concerned. This day had been more like a giant leap forward, but then he’d seen the look on her face when Meredith appeared and he’d felt the progress he’d made crumbling. Why hadn’t he just told Janie about Meredith? It would have been so simple.
He didn’t really know why he hadn’t said anything. Yes, he did. He had gotten used to not discussing his private life. He was so careful—and in this case maybe he’d been too careful. Regret and pragmatism raged a frustrating battle within him.
Aidan felt a spike of irritation. He lifted his hands up, gesturing as if she was standing right beside him. “Blake, what is she doing here? She said you hired her.”
Blake picked up a plastic vial sitting on Aidan’s counter. “I did. She’s our media consultant.”
“You... She’s what?”
“I told you I hired someone to help with PR.”
Aidan frowned at Blake; he wanted to be angry. But he had agreed to allow Blake to increase publicity before Seeds was released. He’d also told him he didn’t care who he hired as long as he kept Aidan out of it.
“You failed to mention who you hired.”
“No, I didn’t. I sent you an email.”
“Really?” Aidan squeaked out the question, afraid he already knew the answer.
Blake laughed. “Really. Do you read my emails at all?”
“Yes, of course—I skim them. And I read the important stuff—the personal stuff and the interesting stuff.”
“This is important, Aidan. In spite of how you feel about her, Meredith is one of the best media consultants in the business. She is doing great things for us, Aidan, maximizing our exposure in wa
ys I wouldn’t even have imagined. And I know you don’t like to talk about subjects as indelicate as money, but she may have found funding for our next project. Imagine having money for our next project before we even begin. Not to mention that I’m beginning to believe Seeds is actually going to make us some money, too.”
Blake bent over to examine a slide that Aidan had left in the microscope. Aidan waited for him to continue.
Blake stood upright again and faced him. “Aidan, Meredith wants to try for a Seeds television special—or maybe even a miniseries on one of the nature channels after the film’s release. We’ll have to do some editing, but a deal like that could mean a lot of money.”
Aidan felt a rush of excitement and immediately tempered the feeling. This kind of success was what he and Blake fantasized about. For Aidan that meant freedom to continue projects on preserving endangered and native species. They’d talked about it since college... Meredith knew this—she knew how much this would mean to Blake and Aidan, and that told him that it was probably too good to be true.
Aidan didn’t trust Meredith. What was she really after?
Blake looked at Aidan. “You do realize what this means, right?”
Aidan peered questioningly at his friend. “What?”
“You have to play nice, Aidan.”
Aidan blew out a breath. “I’ll try.”
“Well, you’re going to have to try hard and very quickly.”
“What do you mean?”
“You remember Kyle Wesley? You met him in the Cocodrilo?”
“Sure, of course.” Aidan and Kyle had hit it off immediately when they’d met in Brazil. Wesley and his environmental conservation group had been part of the team trying to save the Cocodrilo Reserve. It was only later that Aidan had learned of his personal wealth and commercial success. At the time he’d known him as simply Kyle Wesley, nice guy with a conscience, not Kyle Wesley, billionaire owner of Below Zero Software Engineering.
“Well, he’s on his way here to Rankins.”
“He’s...what?”
Blake grinned. “It seems you made quite an impression on him in Brazil. He’s the one considering financing our next project. He wants to meet with you. He wanted me to get you to New York, but I told him you were in the middle of a job and wouldn’t be able to get there. He said he respected that kind of work ethic, so he decided to come here.”
Aidan’s thoughts began to spin. Seeds provided an overview about the challenges and threats facing endangered plant species. He and Blake hoped to narrow the focus with their next films. But the list of possibilities was extensive—soil, water, pollination, insects, even animals... They hadn’t even decided on a topic yet or exactly how they wanted to proceed.
“Jeez, Blake. But... Do we need to put a proposal together? When will he be here?”
“Aidan, don’t freak out. I know how you like to be prepared, but there’s no time for that. He’ll be here the day after tomorrow. All you have to do is be your charming self—hang out, show the guy around a little. Meredith is taking care of the details. She’s talking to Emily about some activities to do while he’s here.”
“But...why? This seems...odd.”
Blake shrugged. “It’s kind of a funny story. Wesley is a bit eccentric this way apparently—and spontaneous. His assistant told me he once traveled to Tibet on fifteen minutes’ notice. Anyway, I told him you were here. He said he’s never been to Alaska, but a friend of his has been here. And by here, I mean Rankins—on a guide trip. Wesley said his friend couldn’t quit talking about it, so he felt like it was karma or something. He decided to come up and do some sightseeing and discuss our future plans.”
* * *
ONE DAY. IF ONLY Aidan’s colleagues had shown up one day earlier, then Janie wouldn’t be experiencing these sickening emotions of embarrassment, humiliation...and yes, heartache. The appearance of Aidan’s colleagues—one of whom was apparently his ex-fiancée—was a good thing, Janie told herself; a perfect reminder at the perfect time that she and Aidan were from worlds that were very far apart, worlds that could not mesh. She needed this reminder because she could not let herself fall any further. Yes, that was it, she’d only fallen a little.
She could recover from a little, couldn’t she?
Janie stared at the screen and told herself this was research, even though it felt like self-inflicted torture. Janie hadn’t spoken to Aidan since she’d left the hospital the day before.
He’d sent her a text that read simply: Can we talk?
Janie had agreed although she didn’t see the point. They had no more appointments and her article was nearly complete. A clean break would be the best way to end something before it had really had a chance to begin.
Thanks to Laurel’s connections, a production assistant at Here’s the Dirt had sent a DVD of the episodes Aidan had appeared in. And now Janie felt compelled to watch them. She told herself she needed to do so in order to feel like she’d thoroughly completed her research. So far the sum total of what she’d learned was that he looked just as good on television as he did in person. His responses were thoughtful and eloquent without sounding patronizing. His demeanor was charming and magnetic—every gesture picture-perfect. No wonder his agent and Blake wanted him to take a more active role in the publicity for their film.
Janie never would have seen the additional footage if Finn hadn’t decided to take a dip in MacGyver’s water dish. She heard the telltale squeal and splash.
“Finn, no!”
She bolted from the sofa, where she’d been watching the episodes on her computer. She found Finn elbow-deep in the dog dish; this was a recurring problem and she was fairly certain her two-year-old believed he was a dog. She tugged his wet shirt over his head, mopped up the mess and refilled the dish for a suddenly parched MacGyver. Finn looked suitably chagrined and toddled out to the living room to join his brother.
She dumped out a bin of large plastic blocks the twins hadn’t played with in a while. Janie laughed as they squealed with delight and dove into the mix like it was Christmas morning. By the time she returned to her computer the show had ended. Janie was about to restart the footage when an image popped up on the screen.
Outtakes? Not exactly, more like extra footage that hadn’t been taped over? Janie hadn’t expected this. The camera had obviously been running before Aidan ever knew he was onscreen. Janie watched, mesmerized, and if she didn’t already know him, if she didn’t know Reagan, she wouldn’t recognize the nervous, uncomfortable stance or its significance. She watched his lips silently moving—like he was rehearsing, which she realized, was exactly what he was doing.
And in that moment Janie knew just how good Aidan was at hiding things—and how well he had learned to adapt.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
AIDAN STARED AT MEREDITH, hoping they could get this over with as quickly as possible. She rehashed the events that had led to her betrayal, spun them as nicely as she could manage and followed up with another apology.
“Aidan, I swear I wasn’t going to sell your mom’s formula. I know how it looked and why you thought that, but think about it—if I was going to sell it, I had plenty of time to do so. Anyway, I really am sorry about everything that happened. I’ve grown up a lot in two years. I lost my job over the whole...episode. I’ve struggled to get my media consulting business off the ground. Ultimately, it turned out to be a positive experience for me. But I can assure you, Aidan, I’m not a bad person and I... I’ve been significantly humbled.”
“Okay.”
“Okay? That’s it?”
“I don’t know what you expect from me here, Meredith. We went over this two years ago.”
“But not like this and I was hoping maybe you could say that you forgive me.”
“What good would that do? I don’t forgive you, but I am willing to give you
a chance. Blake seems to think you’re the best person for the job and I trust Blake.”
“Aidan, you need to get over this if we’re going to—”
“I am over it. Everyone makes mistakes. Let’s move on, Meredith.”
Meredith let out a wry chuckle. “You are so weirdly honest. It’s...uncomfortable. I feel like I’m talking to Spock.”
Blake belted out a laugh from where he sat in a chair across the room working on his laptop.
Aidan ignored Blake. “Do you think it’s going to help your cause by insulting me?”
“No, I’m sorry. I promised myself I was going to get along with you somehow. If there’s anything I can do to make the situation between us better—or even bearable, anything at all—just say the word. I don’t want the past to get in the way of my work here and if you—”
Aidan interrupted, “It’s fine. Besides, it would be impractical to hinder your work when we have the same goal.”
“That’s true.”
“Fine.”
Meredith and Blake spent the next two hours outlining her progress and plans for future publicity. Aidan paid attention and had to admit that he was impressed. Meredith really had managed to get their name out there. Their website, which Aidan had only been vaguely aware even existed, was stunning. Meredith was talented.
He also realized that maybe he had been a bit unrealistic about this whole process. Just because he didn’t like the publicity stuff, didn’t mean he could avoid it altogether. He could even see the rationale behind much of the effort. He commented on it.
Blake sounded excited. “Does this mean you’ll come to the premiere?”
“No.” Aidan didn’t see the necessity. The benefits did not outweigh the pain the experience would cause him. “I don’t see any reason why you need me there, Blake.”
“Maybe because we worked incredibly hard on this film, Aidan, and you deserve to be acknowledged for both its greatness and success?”
