I saw Blackie again when I walked by his house this morning. He has no idea what he is getting into in a story taking place very far away. I hope you bring the story home with you at Christmas. I would very much like to read it.
Now, Jennie’s address is: Miss Jennie Cliennes, 17 Harrings Road, Wharton, Ontario.
She will be very happy to hear from you. I understand that she lives with her aunt.
Take care now and be happy.
Love always,
Grandma Insy
I was so happy that I wrote to Jennie right away, but Miss Tanner gave the letter back to me after school. “Family only,” she said. Well, if I can get an envelope, I could buy a stamp to put on it. I’ll have to figure that out. Maybe I can get Miss Lewis to buy me some. Maybe they have them at the corner store. I could go look sometime and see how much they cost. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do then, I can mail all my own letters. But, if Jennie answers back, they’ll figure that out and maybe I’ll get into trouble. I don’t think I’d better do that. They check all our stuff once in a while too. Miss Tanner goes through our night tables and lockers without saying when she is going to. So I’d have nowhere to hide the envelopes anyway. I keep my diary with me at all times, or between the pages of my Blackie story. At mealtimes, Miss Tanner or Miss Lewis is always present in the dining room, so no fear there.
Tuesday, November 8
After school, we were getting ready for supper when I heard my name through the intercom, saying that there was a phone call for me. I flew down the stairs and ran into the Supervisors’ lounge, and just as I got there, the boys’ Supervisor handed me one phone while he listened on another. Just as I picked it up, I heard Grandma say, “Is that you? Can you hear me?” in our language! Before I could answer, the Supervisor snatched the phone back and slammed it down. I could have burst into tears, but I just looked at the man in the eyes and I walked back out and up the stairs. I wanted to cry so badly, but I was halfway up the stairs when the supper bell rang, so I just ran downstairs ahead of the others. We lined up again to say our prayer before going in.
Wednesday, November 9
I think I’m going to remember the smell of food cooking every time we go up and down the stairs. That’s the first thing you smell when you enter the side door.
Grandma’s voice keeps repeating over and over again in my ear, “Is that you? Can you hear me?” I don’t think she’ll try to call again. It was so good just to hear her voice! I had a long cry again last night. I thought about her walking to the store and asking the storekeeper to put in the call for her, and then having to go home disappointed at not being allowed to talk to me. I really wish they hadn’t taken my blue diary that Grandma had given me. She had written a note on the inside cover that said To my beloved Pynut, and I had also written some of her sayings in it. One was, “Never be louder than the little birds” when we were outside. Another was, “Let the sun see your clean and happy face first thing when it comes over the horizon” — that was so that I didn’t sleep in. I’d have my face washed and hair combed and my chores done before the sun came up each morning. There were many more of her sayings that I had written in there.
I would really like to have that little diary right now.
Thursday, November 10
Everybody is coughing, sniffling and sneezing. All night, there were about three girls coughing all the time. No one got much sleep. I feel okay right now but I’ll probably get a cold too. I don’t feel like going to school. My head hurts.
I managed to get through the day but my throat started hurting after school. There are some empty beds. I asked the girl next to me where the girls were and she said, “In the infirmary.” She laughed when I asked what on earth that was. I asked another girl what the infirmary was. She looked at me like I was stupid and said, “The sick room.” Okay, so now I know. That was probably the place Miss Lewis took me to practise changing the sheets without moving me, except she never told me what the place was called.
Friday, November 11
Remembrance Day today.
We had to stand up at 11:00 at school and stand very quiet for a whole minute. I don’t quite understand what that was about. I think it has to do with a war a long time ago.
My throat still hurts and my voice sounds funny. Grandma would have picked some cedar branches and made tea from the green leaves for me to drink, and then she would have mashed the rest into a frying pan with a bit of water and flattened it all into a cheesecloth and laid it over my throat. A poultice, I think it’s called in English. I better not mention that I caught a cold the next time I write to her. They might not mail my letter.
Saturday, November 12
I went into the sewing room to where a girl was sitting in front of a sewing machine. It was a different girl from the one who sewed the first booklet for me. I asked if she would sew down the middle of my new pages for me, but she just looked at me and told me to go away and that I was not supposed to be in there. More girls were coming in, so I just ran out. I’ll have to figure out another way to keep my pages together for my diary.
I finished my work and it passed inspection, so I have some time this afternoon to write my Blackie story.
Monday, November 14
It is my birthday today. I am thirteen years old.
I can’t talk. I have lost my voice, but otherwise, I feel okay.
The Supervisor gave me a letter from Grandma after school. It had a five-dollar bill inside for my birthday! I am going to make it last as long as I can again.
Again, I am copying this letter to my diary.
November 7th
Flint Lake
My dear Pynut.
I am thinking of you today. I want to be sure you will get this before your birthday, so I thought I would send it to you ahead of time. It has been so lonely here without you. I do miss you so. Your mother, father, brother and little sister are doing fine. I will try to call you. We have had a lot of snow this fall. Everything here is the same. Nothing new to report except that the teacher from last year did not come back. There is now a new woman teacher who everyone is grumbling about. Had a young guy bring me some wood for taking care of his sick mother. They are doing fine now.
The trains have changed schedule again so I cannot go to the small town to get some stuff and come back again. Now I have to go the other direction where I don’t have to stay overnight, but it gets back quite late at night. Anyway, all that is beside the point. I am well and look forward to seeing you as soon as they let you come home. I have managed to save five dollars to send you for your birthday.
With all my love,
Grandma
I wonder what she’d say if she knew that they took my diary away. I wonder what she would have given me for my birthday if I was with her. Maybe she would have made me something.
My teardrops just blotched the writing and I brushed them away before I tucked the letter into my apron pocket.
Tuesday, November 15
I feel okay today. My voice is all right and my throat is not sore anymore.
At lunch, Miss Tanner told me that she would pick me up half an hour early from school to pick up my glasses! I am so excited!
In the afternoon, the Gym teacher took us outside. There was a long sheet of ice on the ground and he had large jam cans filled with frozen water with handles sticking up on top. They were throwing the cans to make them slide down the ice. Don’t know what that was about.
Then Miss Tanner arrived and we went back to the doctor’s office, and after sitting in the waiting room for a while, he called me into the small room and put the glasses on my nose, and the writing across the room was very clear! He fixed the ear curves and then I was set to go. I am so amazed at the way things are so clear! I never knew that there was anything wrong with my eyes.
I was shy when I came up to the dorm, but no one paid attention to me except the girl beside my bed. She crossed her eyes at me and stuck out her tongue at me. I laughed. After a while, I fo
rgot about the glasses on my face.
Wednesday, November 16
Miss Lewis showed up this morning. She is filling in for Miss Tanner for a couple of days, she said. Everyone seems to relax when she is here. I think of them as Sunshine and Black Cloud. Hey, that could be another story I could write!
I’m going to write to Grandma before the supper bell rings.
November 16, 1966
Insy Pimash
Flint Lake, Ontario
Dear Grandma,
I got your letter right on my birthday, and thank you very much for the five dollars. I will make it last as long as I can. I didn’t have any news to tell you, except today I have something to say. The Supervisor picked me up at King George School in the Residential School car and took me to the eye doctor yesterday. When we got there, we sat in the waiting room for a while and I was very excited. Finally the doctor called me in and he took a pair of black-framed glasses and put them on my nose. I could see very clearly all of a sudden! When we walked out of there I could see everything very clearly, even across the street with sale signs on the shop windows. I didn’t know there was anything wrong with my eyes until the teacher noticed. The Supervisor then took me to see the eye doctor and I had to read tiny letters across the room and that was when he checked my eyes and found which lenses I could see from the clearest and then Miss Tanner picked out the frames for me. Now I have them on. I thought the girls and my classmates would tease and make fun of me, but no one paid any attention to me except the girl who sleeps beside me. She crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue.
It is great to see things very clearly!
I do miss you very much and can’t wait to see you again.
With all my love,
Pynut
Friday, November 18
I am feeling like I am stuck on a very long mourning period where you cannot start crying for a person who died and you have to wait for the right time. My heart and soul is starting to hurt. I can’t get rid of that feeling. I just want to start crying and get out of here and go home!!! But I know I have to last until Christmas break, when they will send us all home.
I keep imagining Grandma and remembering her going about her day’s schedule. I remember one time, we were walking through the path to her woodpile in the bush, when a squirrel started chirring overhead. She looked up to say something to it, and a big blob of snow landed on her face that the squirrel had knocked off from a branch. I laughed so hard I was doubled over, and she pushed me and I landed in the snow! When I walk to school, I try to remember what she would be doing that morning, and go through the whole routine with her. I walk every step with her until she gets home, safe and snug in her warm cabin. I am feeling very sad and lonely.
Saturday, November 19
Miss Lewis has this afternoon off, so she’s taking me to a movie show! I don’t actually know if she has told anyone. But I’ve never been to see a movie before, so I really don’t care! We’re going to take a bus to town. She mails my letters for me sometimes when she can. I managed to write a letter to Jennie and she mailed it.
We were on the bus when she handed me a letter. It was from Mother and it was not even opened! I didn’t ask her how she managed to get it. I told her that she’s going to get into trouble if she gets caught, but she just winked at me. I opened the letter and found a five-dollar bill. It felt so good to open the letter and know that I am the first person to read it. I always feel like I’m being cheated or (I don’t know what the word is for what I feel) when I am given my letter that has already been read by someone else.
November 12, 1966
Dear Violet,
I am sending you five dollars for your birthday. Eliza is doing well and growing real fast. She and the other little boys and girls go to a little activity centre in the afternoons. She gets really excited when it’s time to go and then wants to go home when we get there. Lyndon is quite a serious eight-year-old. He goes hunting with his father and checking traps with him. He is even cleaning his own kill now too. He says he is going to be a hunter, trapper and fisherman, like his father, when he grows up.
I called Grandma last week and she is doing fine. I send her some money when I can, just to help her out a bit. I don’t like the new train schedule because she now has to do an overnight trip at the nearest town to get her supplies. Now she has to pay for a hotel room when she goes there.
My work is going great. I really like working at the Band Office, and I get to see all the government people who arrive on the airplane, but I also have to listen to people coming in complaining about things in the community. I am glad Izzy is not the Chief.
We have decided that we will all go to Grandma’s place to see you when you come home for Christmas. It would be too hard for you to come here, too, after getting off the train at Grandma’s. We can’t wait to see you.
Take care of yourself.
Your Mother,
Emily
I put the letter into my pocket and was quiet for a while until Miss Lewis asked if everything was okay. I smiled and thanked her again.
I really liked the movie and I got to taste theatre popcorn for the first time, and the pop was good too. The movie was about a little boy and his dog. It gave me some ideas for Blackie’s adventures. I was starting to run out of things for Blackie to get into. Maybe that’s why Miss Lewis decided to take me. I don’t know. I didn’t ask her. I kept thanking her over and over again for taking me, until she burst out laughing and said, “Enough, enough!”
I asked her what her first name was on the way home and she said “Jo” and I smiled and asked her, “Like in a boy’s name, ‘Joe’?” She laughed and said “No, ‘Jo.’ That is short for Josephine. But, don’t forget, you are not to call me by my first name when I’m at work.” I won’t forget.
Sunday, November 20
Emma finally came this afternoon, but with a boy. I was so disappointed. I wanted to talk to her about going home for Christmas, and I didn’t like the pimple-faced dark boy. His name sounded very different and he kept frowning at me like I was in the way. We went to the park and after a while I realized that they were spending the whole time talking to each other and I was just following them. Finally, I just said that I had to get back and finish my homework. I ran all the way back.
Monday, November 21
I took a shortcut to the corner store about two blocks from the Residential School after school. When I came out, I was unwrapping the chocolate bar when I heard a shout, “There’s one!”
I saw five teenaged white boys running across the street and I looked around me and that’s when I realized they were running toward me! I just took off as fast as I could. I raced to the main road and down the street, but I could still hear them behind me. I came around the corner and ran across the road and just barely missed being hit by a car. It screeched to a halt and I heard a man yelling. I glanced back and the man was getting out of the car and shouting at the boys. I had a stitch in my side so I slowed down when I saw the tree-lined driveway to the Residential School. The boys were no longer behind me. I walked up the driveway and sat down on the first of the wide steps and slowly ate my chocolate bar.
I wonder what they would have done to me if they had caught me. I have to watch out for them.
Wednesday, November 23
I got home from school and I could tell that someone had gone through my things. The things in my night-table drawer were moved around. I always put my letters in the order that I get them, and they were all mixed up. But at least they were still there! The things in my locker were also moved around. I don’t like it when people touch my stuff! I wish I had a place where I can hide my things. My desk at school isn’t mine either. Other students sit there when we move classes.
Although I write in very tiny letters, my diary is getting thick. I have three of the booklets now and I don’t know where to hide them. Right now, they are in between the pages of my Blackie story.
Saturday, November 26
I just spent the last of the five dollars from Grandma. I bought a sponge toffee at the little shop at the park. I still have Mother’s five dollars though.
Emma came to visit me this afternoon. She said she felt bad about Sunday. Her boyfriend had to go out of town with his family this weekend, and so we spent the time at the park. She had some money from her father. She still seems to be happy in the home that she lives at. The people are very nice, she says. It was good to see her and I asked when we would be going home for Christmas. She says it will probably be the week before the 22nd of December. I can’t wait!
Monday, November 28
I am waiting for the breakfast bell to ring.
I have not answered Mother’s letter yet. I don’t have anything to say.
After school I got a letter from Grandma! I have copied it here.
November 20, 1966
Dear Pynut,
I hope you are well and happy. I am coming along fine and I look forward to seeing you real soon. It is only one month away now. I took the train to Sandy Bay last week. I was at a church rummage sale — that’s the big church they have there — and I met an older Anishinabe woman, like me. We got to talking and we left the church at the same time, so we decided to go into the restaurant and have a cup of tea. Well, she invited me to come to her house. She lives alone and only her son comes to check up on her sometimes, and to fix things that need fixing. Anyway, she invited me to stay with her every time I come into town. She has a nice little house and since I had not gone to the hotel yet, I accepted her offer and I stayed there overnight. She has an extra room that her son sleeps in when he comes. She had a pot of beef stew simmering on the stove when we got there, and fresh bannock on the table. We sat up talking and drinking tea at the kitchen table late into the night. I really enjoyed that. I had never had so much tea!
Dear Canada: These Are My Words Page 5
