Max’s attention swung back to Levi. “Who’s Dark Faber?”
“Who’s Darth Vader?” Levi repeated, stunned. “What do you mean, who’s Darth Vader?” To me he said. “What kind of parent are you? He doesn’t know who Darth Vader is?”
“He’s six,” I reminded him patiently.
“Exactly the right age to know about the glory that is Star Wars. You’re depriving him of a fantastic childhood.”
“Are you seriously giving me parenting advice right now?”
He leaned forward. “Are you seriously considering passing it up? It’s good advice.”
A frustrated growl rumbled in the back of my throat. Max, getting bored with our back and forth, wandered off to whack the cornstalk. Levi and I watched him in silence for a minute.
Eventually, curiosity got the better of me. “What are you doing here, Levi? Why are you in my neck of the woods?”
He shrugged, and that damnable smile was back. “I feel bad about the other day… about the gas station.”
I couldn’t let him get away with his behavior then nor now. Or the questions he was hell bent on asking. Or the sheepish, repentant smile he was wielding like a weapon. “You have no right to stick your nose in my business, Cole.”
He shrugged. “I’m trying to say I’m sorry.”
It wasn’t exactly a promise to leave me alone, but Levi didn’t usually give me what I wanted. This was probably the best I could ask for, and yet, I couldn’t let him get away that easily. I lifted a hand, half hidden in the sleeve of my shirt, and pointed a finger at him. “You can mess with me, Levi, but you better not hurt my son. Got it?”
He took a step forward, closing some of the space between us. “Just to be clear though, you’re saying I can mess with you, right?”
I took a step back. He followed. “That’s not at all what I meant. I just… I’m saying I’m tough. It’s fine if you need to be an asshole to someone, take it out on me. But leave Max out of it.”
“So, you want me to keep messing with you? That’s the message I’m hearing.”
“I don’t want you to mess with anyone!” I exclaimed, totally exasperated. “You’re missing the point.”
My back bumped against a cornstalk and I jumped, startled by having walked backward so far.
“What’s the point?” he challenged, as if I could have coherent thoughts with his half-naked body so close to mine.
“That you need to stop stalking me and find something better to do with your free time.”
“I wanted to talk to you,” he said evenly, as if he were countering my argument. As if he had a rational, logical point. “And RJ and I had a little talk after breakfast the other day. He made it very clear that I wasn’t supposed to come back to the diner to chat with you or else he was going to lay me out, cut off my balls and have Reggie chop them up. RJ’s words, not mine.” I pressed my lips together to keep my jaw from dropping to the floor. “So I’ve been forced to… find you in unconventional ways.”
“The gas station?”
“That was the easiest I’ve had it this week.”
My eyebrows shot to my hairline. “You’ve been trying to find me this whole week?”
“I thought for sure you’d spend more time at the Piggly Wiggly. Pretty sure they think I have an eating disorder, I’ve bought so much junk I didn’t need in my efforts to bump into you. Also, apparently you only get gas once a week. Which is a shame since Maria now thinks I’m trying to steal from her. Running around this area was my last hope before I risked the boys.”
“The boys?”
He glanced down at his athletic shorts where his “boys” were nearly on display behind the thin material. I cleared my throat and lifted my focus back to his face. Although it might have been a slow lift, so I could admire the planes and contours of his abs and chest one more time.
Noticing again how sweaty he was, I asked, “How long have you been out here?”
His smile wobbled. “Let’s just say, I’m not going to need to come back and do it again tomorrow. Today was a pretty good workout.”
“You’re ridiculous.” I laughed. “Also, you’re a legit stalker.”
He shrugged for the fifteen millionth time. “You’re a hard woman to find.”
“I’m usually at home. You know, doing home things.”
He looked at Max. “Good to know.”
“That wasn’t an invitation,” I rushed to say.
His gaze moved back to mine. “You would always pretend you forgot something. I would watch you rush through the gym to the locker room, pretending like you couldn’t see us. It was my favorite part of practice.”
His conversational jumps were giving me whiplash, but my stomach started pooling with heat before my mind could fully comprehend what he was saying.
“I don’t remember it like that at all,” I argued weakly.
“Little Ruby Dawson, I don’t remember you as a liar.”
I glared at the smug smile on his lips. “Did you really run this area of town to get my attention?” I asked him, desperate to change the subject.
“And out front of your house. Like I said, I wanted to apologize.”
“Go ahead then.”
His smile disappeared, and he took three steps closer to me. I could smell his aftershave and the musky scent of his sweat. How had I gotten to this point in my life? How did I have a son I was trying to keep secret from super sleuth over here, also known as Clark City’s most eligible stalker.
His sharp gaze flicked to Max again and it took all my willpower not to jump between them and wave my hands around like a crazy person. For the first time since he’d walked back into town I wanted his attention on me and me alone.
“I don’t believe you don’t know who his father is,” Levi stated boldly but quietly so my son couldn’t hear.
Frustration pulsed in my blood, but I played it cool. “That doesn’t sound like an apology to me.”
A smug smile tugged at the corners of his lips. His green eyes met mine and I tried not to compare the color to the windswept country grass that was unbelievably lush from the amount of rain we’d had last week. “But…” He took another step closer to me, dropping his voice. “I understand that you might have reasons for keeping it quiet. The people in this town can be… difficult.”
“Judgmental is the word I usually use.” I scratched behind my ear, putting a sound barrier between Max and me. “Also, assholes.”
His rumble of laughter chased a tingle down my spine. “I’m not trying to uncover all your secrets, Ruby. I was just surprised that you had a son. More surprised that you didn’t make that man marry you and take care of you.”
Lightning flashed in my blood. “I don’t need a man to take care of me, Levi. And I certainly wouldn’t use a child to tie one to me.”
Not that I could have if I wanted to. Max’s dad was long out of reach. Now if only the rest of his family would follow suit.
Er, not die. I meant, move away. And not bother me.
His hands shot up, pumping the air in an inane effort to placate me. “That’s not what I meant. Of course, you don’t need a man to take care of you. You’re independent. You’re empowered. I get it.” His tone suggested that he did not, in fact, get it. He continued, throwing the past back in my face and not doing anything at all to endear me to him. “I just… I know living with your mom wasn’t in your long-term life plan.”
I pressed the back of my hand to my forehead and tried not flinch. “What I want to know is why you think after all these years and a lifetime of hating each other you know me so well? Why on earth do you think you know all about my life plans and what I want? We were not friends in high school, Levi. And I haven’t seen you in almost a decade. Where is this coming from?”
“We weren’t friends,” he agreed. “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t know you. Or that I don’t know you now.” I gaped at him like he was an idiot. His voice dropped and his eyes heated with something that looked like pleading. �
��You know me, too.”
“I don’t. I have no idea who you are or what you want or where you’ve been for the last seven years.”
“Oklahoma,” he answered quickly. “Working a cattle ranch. And before that Wyoming. And before that Colorado. And before that Texas. And before that, well, before that I was at UNL.”
Squinting at him, I asked, “See? I had no idea you wanted to be a cowboy.”
His open expression turned into a scowl. “I needed some… space from this place.”
Now that I could understand. I turned my head and surveyed the miles and miles of cornfields rolling in every direction. The cicadas buzzed in a rhythmic symphony, giving the outdoors a primal soundtrack, beating in time to my frantic heart. The horizon was a long, endless line in the distance, dipping and rising, but never ending. The sun hovered just above it, puffy pink and purple clouds gathered close, the prelude to a spectacular Nebraska sunset no doubt.
And yet it was sometimes hard to see the beauty of this place from this far in the dirt.
It wasn’t that Levi’s exodus from Clark City was a total secret. Plenty of people had whispered news about him over the years. Whether it was friendly commentary in the diner or Coco or Em handing out gossip, I’d kept up with him from a distance. Not on purpose of course. Or at least that’s what I told myself.
The University of Nebraska at Lincoln, or UNL, was where he’d gone to college. Also, where he’d graduated magna cum laude in business administration. Everyone had thought that meant he would come straight home and let his father groom him for the family business. It was the career path Logan was supposed to take after he was finished sowing seeds in the Marines. Levi was supposed to step up to the plate once his brother was gone. Take a more responsible path. Make his family proud.
Instead, Levi had disappeared. Nobody seemed to know where he was, except for maybe Rich and Darcy, but if they knew, they’d stayed quiet.
Eventually Mercer got in touch with him and the update had trickled through the gossip circles of Clark City. Levi had gone to Texas for grad school. He’d wanted something more substantial than a Bachelor of Science.
I didn’t know the outcome of those years, only that they led him to Colorado where he’d found work at a resort. He’d met a rancher in a ski town and that had led him to horses. And that eventually led him to Wyoming. I wasn’t sure how he moved from horses to cattle, only that the ranch he worked on in Oklahoma was one of the biggest in the state.
Now he was back in Nebraska. Where he’d add corn and beans to his work history with livestock. There was part of me that wondered if he would miss working exclusively with animals. If he preferred the wildness of riding and roping to the toil of working the ground.
Not that I cared about his preference. Or thought about how hard it would be to give up something he loved—if he did love it—for the family business just because he was the only living heir.
“But now you’ve had enough space?” I challenged him. “You’re happy to be back?”
He turned his gaze back to Max. “I’m… looking forward to some things about this town.”
He hadn’t exactly answered my question, but I didn’t want to pry either. “I accept your apology,” I told him, even though he hadn’t given me one. “Although, you didn’t have to hunt me down. I wouldn’t let RJ near your balls. They’re safe with me.” I slapped a hand over my mouth at the same time he tossed his head back and laughed loudly. “Not what I meant!”
He winked at me. “Good to know, Dawson. I’ll let RJ know that my balls are safe in your hands.”
I punched him playfully on the shoulder, my fist meeting a rock-hard boulder instead of flesh and bone. “Don’t be gross.”
He grabbed my wrist and tugged me closer. “Have dinner with me, Ruby. Let me at least get you out of my system.”
I blinked at him, two parts completely irritated, one part flustered and breathless. “No, thank you?”
His gaze moved over my face, drinking me in, settling on my lips. I tugged at my arm, not wanting to weird Max out. Levi and I weren’t especially close. It was more casual flirtation than an aggressively sexual overture. But still, I didn’t want Max to get any unrealistic ideas or ask questions that I couldn’t answer.
“You’ve been in my bones since we were kids, Dawson. I get that our lives have gone in different directions, but don’t you think you should at least give us a shot?”
Licking dry lips, I said the words that would shut this down forever… words I had to drag out of my soul and force into the air between us. “Are you ready to be a dad, Levi? Because it’s not just supper for me. And it’s not just me you would get. We come as a pair. And not only that, he will always be first for me, always be the most important thing in my life. You wouldn’t even be getting a fair deal. It’s not that I don’t want to have dinner with you. It’s that I can’t have dinner with you. I can’t even entertain the thought of having dinner with anyone unless I know they can be serious about my son.” I took a step back and pulled my arm out of his grasp. “You’ve turned out well, Levi. I see that you’re a catch. Any girl would be lucky to have dinner with you. Me included. And you’re right… there was something there, in that kiss, all those years ago. But it’s too late for this… for dinner and casual flirting and strutting in front of my house hoping I notice you. It’s too late for you and me.”
Before Levi could respond, Max swung his pretend sword through the air aggressively—actually, so aggressively his feet kicked out from underneath him and he landed on his butt in a heap. I lunged forward but his loud laughter stopped me from helicopter-momming all over him.
“Ow!” he laughed harder. “My butt!”
“Are you okay?” I asked him, panting with worry.
He raised the stick still clasped in his hand and pointed it at me. The sun sunk lower over the horizon casting him in a warm glow, lighting his dark hair with sun-shadowed highlights. “My butt hurts.” He laughed some more.
Levi cursed under his breath and took a step toward him. “Fuck me,” he hissed, the gasping tone of his voice drawing my immediate attention. I didn’t think Max heard the whispered word, but it made me look twice at Levi, since I had no idea where the anger had suddenly come from.
“Let me help you, little dude,” Levi offered, walking over to Max and offering his hand. He was staring at my son all over again, turning into a real creeper apparently.
“Thanks,” Max grunted as Levi pulled him to his feet.
When Max was standing, I expected Levi to let go of Max’s hand and release him back into the wild, but he just stood there, staring at my son.
Max, only six, stared back, thinking they were playing a game. Eventually, Levi let go of his hand and stepped back, his hands falling to his hips, his biceps flexed and hard.
“Let’s go, Max,” I called out, desperate to end the strange staring contest. “We should go get a start on dinner. Tell the weird man goodbye.”
Levi seemed to blink out of his stupor, turning his attention to me. “I’ll walk you home,” he offered.
“That’s okay,” I said quickly. “We’re good.”
“I insist,” he pushed, not giving any room for an argument. “I’ll feel better about myself.”
“Oh, good. I was hoping Max and I could help you feel better about yourself today. I know you struggle with that.”
His gaze flickered to mine for just a second before returning to Max. He didn’t acknowledge my sarcasm. “Thank you for understanding.”
Wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible, I decided to stop arguing and just let him have his way. Bickering with him would only raise more red flags. There had to be a way to navigate a relationship with Levi that erased his suspicions and curiosity. Fighting with him about everything was only going to make him more stubborn. I needed to reverse-psychology this situation into letting Levi feel like he’d won and that he had all the available information.
Grabbing Max’s hand, I let Levi
trail after us. I braced myself for more probing questions, but he remained uncharacteristically quiet.
That was okay with me. I wasn’t really in a hurry to continue our conversation. Besides, Max filled in the blanks and had enough to talk about for the both of us. He asked me approximately thirty questions about supper and a hundred more about what we were doing tomorrow and when did school start again and what was the name of the light saber movie and could we watch it for real?
At the entrance to the mobile home park, I turned around and settled my hand on Levi’s chest. His heart pounded beneath my fingertips and I decided he might have truly overdone it today. Maybe his run had been hours long. Maybe he should have just figured out how to text me like a normal human being.
I couldn’t explain why I felt the need to touch him again or why so intimately. But there was a spirit inside me, pushing me to feel his skin, to let some part of my body rest against the most important part of his.
He was so hot and cold. He’d always been like this. One second ruining my life, the next rushing in to save me. I shouldn’t have expected him to change, even after all this time. But I had. I had assumed he’d forgotten about me. Or that he was no longer so interested in me. I had expected this sparking something to fade over time and that the birth of Max meant the death of that thing that had always existed between us, good or bad.
And yet, now that he was back, it was stronger and more electrified than ever. Max hadn’t severed the cord between us, he’d somehow made it stronger, tied us together in a more permanent way.
But it wasn’t a good thing.
Just like in high school, we were a catastrophe waiting to happen. I needed to let Levi go, for good this time. Only it was harder to think about that than I wanted to admit.
“Thanks, Levi. We can manage from here.”
His hand rested on mine for a minute. “Get RJ to lift the Rosie’s ban?”
I frowned but knew it had been silly of RJ to threaten him in the first place. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Instead of a thank you, like a polite person, Levi tilted his head toward Max and asked, “Hey, what’s his middle name?”
Trailer Park Heart Page 13
