“And yeah, maybe we were awful to each other, but we were also sweet. I’ve never not been able to look out for you. I’ve never been able to resist the pull that’s between us. Because Ruby, it’s always been so fucking electric. And damn, it’s never gone away. And now I see you like this… This amazing mom and provider. You work hard every day to take care of your son and you’ve raised him to be this awesome kid. I see you struggling and fighting and doing your best and you… you made me fall in love with you all over again the second I stepped back in this fucking town.”
Just when I thought I couldn’t be more heartbroken, he annihilated whatever was left of my heart with those words. He ripped apart the fragile bandage I’d wrapped my heart in and crushed it with his impossible feelings.
“I can’t stay away from you, Ruby,” he grated, looking as tortured as I felt. “I’ve tried all my life and I’ve never been able to keep my distance.”
“Then stop trying,” the lonely demon inside me whispered. “Stop staying away.”
He flinched, his hands dropping to his sides. “If you let me in, I’m going to stay there.”
I tilted my chin defiantly, daring him to follow through. “Maybe it’s not up to you. Maybe, I won’t let you go.
He crossed the space between us and wrapped me up in his arms, encasing me in his strength and warmth and at least a decade of longing. “Your son might belong to my brother, Ruby, but you’ve always belonged to me. You’re mine.”
His mouth crashed against mine in a flurry of longing and desire and a thousand unspoken words. I kissed him back, feeling the lost pieces inside of me finally finding a home.
It wasn’t just this town I belonged to, it was this man. It had always been this man.
His mouth moved against mine, a hungry devouring of lips and tongues. Our tongues tangled together—fighting, warring, working together to find the most delicious kisses that had ever existed in all of time.
He gentled his embrace, so his hands could move over my body, taking my hips and tugging them against him, palming my breasts, picking up right where we left off. I let him, I loved him for it. I wasn’t in the mood for careful kisses or tentative touches.
I wanted him. All of him.
His hand landed on my thigh, pushing my dress up to my waist, finding the hem of my tiny underwear and pushing them down to my knees.
“Is this okay?” he asked belatedly, as if he just realized he should ask.
“Yes,” I gasped. “Oh, god, yes.”
His fingers danced along my hip, heading to the place I wanted them to touch me most. “And you’re, uh, clean?”
“Yes,” I repeated, getting a little desperate. “I haven’t had sex since the last time I was tested, and I was clean. Er, you?”
He nodded, his forehead pressed against mine. “I got tested when I got back here and I’m clean.”
“There hasn’t been anyone since—”
“Not since I’ve been home,” he promised.
That was enough for both of us. Our mouths found each other again, my teeth grazing over his bottom lip and sucking it into my mouth. His tongue pushed into mine, licking, sucking, taking what he wanted.
Two of his fingers slid inside me, finding places that sent my senses soaring. I clutched his shoulders to keep my balance and dropped my forehead to his chest. I whimpered against him, feeling blinded and tingly with pleasure.
I tugged at his shirt, needing it off, needing more of him. His belt came next. Then the button of his pants. Pop.
He slowed us down, removing his fingers from inside me and cradling my face with his other hand. His touch was achingly sweet, the physical reality of the smiles I loved so much from him.
He held my gaze, his green eyes the brightest I’d ever seen them. “I love you, Ruby Dawson. I can’t remember not loving you. I don’t know how to live this life without loving you. You’re it for me, Ruby. Beginning, middle, end. I want to be so much more than your friend. I want to be your everything.”
My chin trembled, and I tried desperately to hold back the tears pushing at the corners of my eyes. But it was a hopeless cause. Apparently, this man was going to take all the crying tonight.
Thank God for waterproof mascara.
“You are,” I hiccupped, knowing it was true. Knowing it had been true for a very long time. “I love you too, Levi. I don’t know when it started. I can’t remember the day or the moment or when exactly it was that I gave you my heart, but I know you’ve had it for a long time. For as long as I can remember. It’s yours to keep. Forever. For always.”
“For always,” he repeated.
He kissed me again, his lips stealing the last of my words from my mouth and claiming them as his. Picking me up by my legs, he lifted me so I could wrap them around his waist. He carried me to the bedroom where I got fleeting glances of more rich, dark wood and a giant bed with messy sheets.
I clung to him all the way, metaphorically clinging to the beginning of whatever this was. I had lived my whole life in a trailer park on the wrong side of the tracks. And maybe that was my life story, but it wasn’t the story of my heart.
Not anymore.
I’d let people treat me the way I thought I should be treated. I’d let them walk all over me and talk about me and even sleep with me without ever expecting them to care about how I felt or what I thought or what I wanted in life.
Levi was the only person that had ever seen me for who I am, for someone that had worth and beauty that had nothing to do with my upbringing or home life.
And after a lifetime of not knowing any better, he’d scared me. He’d been too good to be true. Out of my league. Too close to the sun.
Yet when I finally allowed myself the grace to see his love and affection for what it was, I was able to shed the skin of my circumstances and step into the beauty and joy of a real, genuine, soul-deep relationship with a man I truly loved.
God, my heart was going to explode in my chest from happiness.
We fell on the bed together, a tangle of arms and legs and his glorious, muscular, gorgeous bare chest. A bare chest I got to touch now.
“People are going to talk about us,” he murmured as my dress disappeared somewhere over the side of his bed. “They’re going to have opinions about Max and what that should mean for us.”
“I don’t care what they think,” I told him honestly. And I really didn’t. Maybe for the first time in my life, it didn’t bother me one bit what the people of Clark City, Nebraska thought of me or my life.
“Good, because if we’re going to do this, Ruby, we’re going to keep doing this. I want you in my life from here on out. If you give yourself to me now, I won’t ever be able to give you up.”
“That’s what I want too. That’s what I should have always wanted.”
His forehead touched mine again and he closed his eyes, bracing himself against my answer. “You really don’t care what everyone else is going to think? Our parents might have something to say.”
I kissed the corner of his eye and then his cheek and the curve of his lips. “Levi,” I murmured, honesty ringing true with every word. “I’m ready to stop fighting you and start fighting for you. I promise.”
His eyes popped open and a wicked smile turned his lips in the most breathtaking smile I’d ever seen. “Love you, little Ruby Dawson.”
My heart pounded at those beautiful words, letting them sink into my bones and put all the remaining puzzle pieces together inside me. “And I love you, Levi Cole.”
This time when he kissed me, he didn’t stop. The rest of our clothes disappeared and soon enough we were naked and panting and he was moving inside of me, pulling out the most outrageous sounds and pleas.
His body was a piece of art and I relished every second I got of him like this. I had never been treated like this before… adored, loved… worshiped.
Our bodies were perfectly in sync, moving together in a primal rhythm of need and want and love. My back arched on his bed as he did
delicious, wicked things to me. I clutched his shoulders, finding purchase in their strength.
It had never been like this for me. Not that I had a long list of sexual partners, but I didn’t even know it could be like this.
He pumped his hips and hit wonderful places and by the time I was gasping for breath and my toes were curling as a soul-shaking orgasm coursed through my body, I had decided I would never leave his bed again. I would have to live here. Someone else was going to have to take care of Max, because I needed a hell of a lot more of that asap.
I watched him finish in awe of his masculinity and strength, of the hard planes of his face and the erotic expression he made as his body flexed and hardened all around me. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, a kind of beauty I didn’t know existed.
He was mine.
And now I was his.
Levi collapsed next to me, immediately pulling me into his arms and cradling me against his warm, solid chest. “Knew it would be that good,” he gloated.
I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”
He grinned down at me. “Okay, I hoped it would be that good.”
“Will it always be that good?”
His smile turned tender, gentle, all the things that made my insides jelly and sent my heart skipping. “With you, Ruby, I have a feeling it’s only going to get better and better.”
We laid there together until we couldn’t resist the touch of each other any longer. The second time was even more intense, filled with more adventure and exploration.
By the time we fell asleep, we were wrapped so tightly in each other, both physically and emotionally, I knew there would never be a way to tell where we began and where we ended.
Our rivalry had ended in the most explosive coming together of all time, neither of us coming out the victor, but both of us winning in the end.
I loved him more than I knew was possible. And if having a son had taught me anything, it was that I would only grow to love him more and more.
Sure, there would be hard days. There would be days I didn’t think I loved him. Days I wanted nothing to do with him. Days that would make me question my sanity. But the good would always outweigh the bad. And I couldn’t have thought of a better dad for my son than this man right here.
We would always have to face the questions about Max’s real dad and how Levi was both uncle and step-dad. And it might be weird to a lot of people. But to us it made sense. And that was all that mattered.
We were meant to be together. Our family was meant to happen this way. It might be strange, but it was us.
“Hey, Ruby,” Levi murmured before I’d totally fallen asleep.
“Yeah?”
“I forgot to ask,” he rumbled in his sleep-deepened voice. “But you’re on birth control, right?”
Popping up in bed, I suddenly wasn’t tired anymore. “Oh, shit.”
He rolled to his back and threw his hand over his eyes, laughing so hard the bed shook. “Are you serious?”
I looked down at him. “Are you seriously laughing right now?”
“If you’re pregnant,” he warned, “I’m blaming Logan.”
“Oh, my gosh!”
“You should have learned your lesson the first time.”
“Why are you laughing so hard?” I asked when he hadn’t settled down.
He looked at me, his eyes twinkling. “Because only you could manage to get knocked up on the first time with two different Cole brothers.”
“We don’t know that I’m pregnant,” I reminded him, panic dumping cold water on our happy moment.
He just shrugged. “It’ll be okay if you are.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, falling deeper in love with him right then, right there.
“Forever means forever, Ruby. Might as well get started on it right now.”
Then he pounced, not caring that for the third time in one night, we forgot to use protection.
Epilogue
HEA Beginnings
“Where are we going?” I asked for the hundredth time.
“Mommy, I told you, it’s a surprise!” Max had my hand and was dragging me after him over rough, uneven ground.
He’d taken me for a nature walk. He said it was more homework, but since it was the middle of June, I was starting to think he had something up his sleeve.
That and after twenty minutes of walking in one direction, he’d made me close my eyes and blindly follow him to the middle of nowhere.
If he wasn’t my son, I’d assume he was bringing me out here to murder me. But I had faith that Max was going to do more with his life than murder. He was going places.
I realized, ironically, I had the same kind of hope for Max that my mom had for me. Mine was to keep Max from murdering me. Mom’s was to keep me off a stripper pole. So… putting it like that, we were on equal playing fields as far as momming went.
I snorted to myself. Hardly.
“Max,” I demanded. “What are we doing? If I walk through a giant spider web on accident, I will never forgive you.”
He giggled. “We’re almost there.”
Five minutes later, after nearly breaking my ankle at least six times, he slowed to a stop. “Don’t peek yet!” he demanded.
“What is going on? Did you join a cult? Why can’t I see anything?”
“Mom…” he groaned.
I shut my mouth and tried to wait as patiently as possible for something to happen. When nothing immediately changed around me, I spread my fingers for a quick second to make sure he was okay and not planning to jump off a ridiculously high structure the minute he told me to open my eyes. That would definitely give me a heart attack. And I was not looking forward to that.
But I didn’t see anything. All around me was wide open Nebraska prairie, but nothing to spill why I was standing in the middle of a field, surrounded by trees and wooded areas and open sky.
“Stop looking!” Max called from a distance.
Footsteps started heading my way again and I assumed it was him, so I pressed my hand tightly over my eyes and waited for the big reveal. I rested my other hand on my slightly swollen belly and smiled to myself.
Levi and I hadn’t told Max yet. We hadn’t told anyone. But the small baby growing inside me was already twelve weeks. It was probably time to share the news.
Unfortunately for Levi, I hadn’t gotten pregnant on New Year’s Eve. It hadn’t been the right time. Which was okay for Levi, because he wasn’t a quitter and didn’t plan on giving up anytime soon.
Oh, this pregnancy was also a surprise. I mean, it was easy to tell how we got pregnant, since Levi couldn’t keep his hands off me and birth control seemed optional most days.
But unlike my first unplanned pregnancy, this one was received with unbelievable joy. There was no panic. No devastation. No loss of life plans. There was only hope for the future, faith in the beautiful baby yet to come.
This experience alone, even though Levi was the only one that knew so far, had healed a million broken pieces inside of me. I hadn’t even known how messed up I was either, until all the misplaced parts of my heart and soul started finding their way home.
We’d kept it a secret so far though because our parents were still recovering from the news that we were together. My mom was probably the least surprised, but she did get hung up on our future kids.
“So they’re going to be brothers and cousins?” she’d asked when she imagined more sons in our future. “God, y’all are like a soap opera.”
Which was probably true, but her opinion didn’t really matter anyway.
Although, slowly, surely, she was changing my mind about that. Rich had found out she managed the local strip club and offered her a job almost immediately after meeting her. I’d promised him she was a hard worker, even if she was a little rough around the edges. He’d promised me a managing position in the office for him wasn’t any better or easier.
Mom was still deciding if she was going to ta
ke it or not. I constantly reminded her that it had a 401K and dental. She was starting to favor Cole Family Farms in a big way.
Levi’s parents had taken it much harder. It had killed me at first. I hated destroying the tenuous relationship Darcy and I had built. But they had quickly come around, deciding I was exactly the kind of woman they wanted Levi to be with.
They had stepped in as the parents I never had, and I knew they would be thrilled at the prospect of another grandbaby to celebrate.
Although Max would always hold a very special place in their hearts. Levi and I could have twelve kids, but Max would forever be Logan’s. I had made so many mistakes in my life, it was weird to cherish one of the biggest. But I couldn’t help it. And not only because I’d gotten my son from Logan. Max had kept me in Clark City. He’d brought me Darcy and Rich. And he’d given me a full, wonderfully big life that I never expected to have.
All was well in Clark City. And I loved my life here.
“Okay, you can look!” Max exclaimed.
I opened my eyes and blinked against the bright sunlight on the warm summer day. The sun was so bright I could barely focus on what was in front of me—which was why it took so long to realize Levi was there, on one knee, a giant ring held out in front of him.
“What is this?” I gasped, finding Max standing next to him, a phone in his hand, no doubt recording the moment.
Levi’s gaze captured mine again, green and intimate and achingly familiar. “Marry me, Ruby. Make this forever thing official.”
I put my hand over my mouth to keep from screaming, but I didn’t even know what to say or how to say yes. Oh, God, I should say yes. “Levi, are you serious?” I gasped.
His lips tipped up on one side, his small smile coaxing. “Why do you always doubt me, woman. Of course I’m serious.”
“It’s just that…”
Trailer Park Heart Page 30
