“I have never looked at you.”
“The window? You watched me.”
“It was a glance over a thousand yards away. Hardly enough to make a determination of beauty.”
She paused.
“My brother says I am hideous and no worthy demon shall ever love me.”
“Why is that?”
“I am from a nontraditional conception. My mother was not what his was. Pure. Worthy. I do not have a tail and I assume my nails will not grow as they should, if I were to ever lay with a male, so I shall never satisfy him.”
“If I may, your highness…There are many forms of beauty. Although, I have not truly looked upon you, I feel I would be biased in my opinion.”
“Why is that?”
“The beauty that comes from within you is enough for me to fall in love.”
“Look upon me and speak the truth of my form.”
I raised my neck, which had been so stiff from the month of looking at the floor. Her dress clung to her hips then cut in at her stomach and followed her beautifully formed chest. Her hair was platinum blond and shone brightly, reflecting the fire’s light. It lay straight and long to the side of her breasts. When I saw her face, the smile on my own could not be contained.
“Is your love for me still in your heart?”
“No, Your Highness.”
Her beautiful lips turned down.
“It has extended to my whole body.”
“You lie.”
“I do not.”
I stepped to her, then realized my hand was out of my robe. She pulled back.
“I apologize.”
“Do not fear. I just do not know how to be touched. Will you show me?”
“Stay still,” I said as my hand lightly stroked her cheek. “Now you move the way your body tells you.”
“I don’t understand.”
“What does it tell you?”
“It’s shaking. Why is it shaking?” she asked, almost in a panic.
“Because it wants me to calm you.”
“How?”
“By holding you close.”
“That would not make it worse?”
“For just a moment then you will need to stop my shaking.”
“Why would you shake?”
“Because touching you will make my body want to move.”
“You wish to touch me?”
“More than anything I’ve ever wanted before.”
“You may.”
I moved my arms slowly toward her and held her close. I leaned my head to the side so I could bury my nose in her hair, which smelled of sweet berries. I could feel her lips next to my neck and her shivering had moved to my body.
“Why do my lips burn? They feel as if I had lain them in the fire.”
“You could douse them with my skin. Although I am warm to you, it shall cool them.”
“What do I do?”
“May I show you on your body?”
“Are your lips aflame?”
“Yes.”
“I can mimic you?”
“Yes.”
Now my body was shaking, my lips just a breath away from the nape of her neck. I could feel my heart beating in my lips.
“Please show me.”
Trying not to rush but wanting to all the same, I touched her skin and her body started to buckle. I held her snug as she copied my actions and our legs gave way and we fumbled to the floor. I fell on my back and she landed on top of me. I moved my lips up her neck and she followed suit until her lips were right beside mine. Our mouths fused as my fingers ran under her hair. I licked her lips and she mirrored, catching her tongue with mine. Our mouths opened and her sweet taste filled mine.
She began to pull my hair, and I realized I was doing the same to her. My hand glided down her back and she copied me again.
“Have I doused your flame?” she asked, opening her beautiful black eyes, which stood out so against her alabaster skin.
“No, your Highness, you have stoked it.”
“Mine is also the same. I wish to continue this, but not on the floor.”
“Your wish is my command.”
“No, Damarion. I wish for you…”
She usually chose her words carefully, but she was becoming frustrated.
“To want…” she continued; her nose scrunched up.
Pulling myself up, I guided her to her bed and we sat together. Taking her hand in mine, I stroked it gently.
“You do not want me to feel obligated.”
“Yes. My questions were commands. They were to teach me…about the world…but this I do not think…”
“Your Highness, you are the keeper of my heart. Do you understand what that means?”
“I believe so. That means…” she started. Her hands covered her face. “I do not. For no one has told me of this. I have been told no one would want me for anything more than my station.”
Taking her face in my hands, I brought her lips to mine.
“You are a woman. A woman who knows what she wants and is now learning how to obtain it.”
For the next few years, I continued to sneak into her room. She became stronger and more assured after each visit. Her gown, we discovered, was worse than a chastity belt, making it so I could not touch her. However, she soon learned how to touch me.
“We must shave your head for true demons do not have hair. It will be a shame, for I love to run my fingers through it. I am not sure how you will be able to come to me after it’s gone, for you will no longer be mistaken for a female, but I will find a way.”
Then it was the tattoos, to fake the birthmarks in the royal male children. She’d give me tonics and roots—anything to make it so I could grow horns. It was only after the suggestion of sexual stimulation following a dose of herbs did it start to work. That proved to be a double-edged sword. Passing as a demon meant I would have to prove myself as a demon.
But the Prince didn’t want that. He wanted me to fail. Pivane had lulled me into a false sense of security all these years. Biding his time. My only focus had been on returning to LaDressa. I’d been a fool thinking I could just wait it out. Take the beatings given by the Prince if I stepped too far out of line and serve my time like a good prisoner. What I hadn’t considered was how accomplished a jailer the Prince could be. There was no way Pivane’s not his favorite enforcer and the Deumos may be loyal, but not one is loyal to me. They are loyal to my station.
How far will that loyalty really take me when I ask them to kill a demon who was born worthy?
* * * *
Nye
I still had my arms crossed tight to her chest. I loved the feel of her body against mine. My lips brushed the nape of her neck and she shuddered. If she hadn’t been holding on to the sink, we’d both have fallen.
“Who’s Louise?” she asked breathlessly as she pulled away slightly. “You mentioned her, you know, before I rocked your world, then had a mental breakdown.”
Louise. She wanted to know about Louise. We had spent hours talking about Kiri, but nothing about me.
“Let’s go lay down. I have to meet Dilana by eleven-thirty.”
Kiri wrapped a towel around her chest, and I tightened one around my hips. I placed my hand between her shoulders and opened the door for her. She crossed her arms in response.
“I’m not avoiding the question. I need to lie down to tell you. And I will need to sleep, sometime. Someone didn’t let me sleep much last night.”
“You showed up late. And I don’t remember any complaining last night.”
“And you won’t this morning or this afternoon or tonight.”
I scooped her up, dipped her back, and kissed her sensually. I had noticed she liked when I took control.
“Or right now.”
“Definitely not right now.”
“Nope. Not gonna work. Who is she?”
“Was,” I corrected. “Pre-Frozen. If that’s a word?”
“In your case, I’ll accept it as a word.”
I laid Kiri on the bed and crawled over her. The clock said it was now after eight.
“I need to call Dilana so she’ll know I’ll meet her.”
“Just send her a text,” Kiri replied as if it were a simple thing. “You do know how to text right?”
“I…know how to read one.”
“Right,” she teased. “Give me your phone.”
“But wouldn’t it just be as easy—” Kiri caught my lips with hers and removed the phone from my hand. She opened one eye for a moment as her tongue danced with mine.
“Done,” she said when we released. “Now wasn’t that a better way to communicate?”
“Please set the alarm for eleven fifteen and I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
“I’ve had that clock since I was six. We’re taking it for our room.”
She seemed so strong to me, bossing me around, setting down the rules. Who doesn’t love that in a woman? I kissed her again and stayed on top of her. My forearms held me up just enough to not crush her.
“Do I need to entrance you?” she asked, arching her eyebrow at me while licking her lips.
“I’m sorry, am I crushing you?”
“I love the way your body feels. Plus, those flexed biceps of yours are holding most of your weight.”
I rolled onto my back; she rolled onto her side and rested on her elbow.
“Nye, I have an idea.”
“So do I,” I said while I stroked the outline of her hip.
She smacked my arm.
“Sit up,” she said.
I did and she wiggled in behind me. Her legs crossed, then she placed a pillow on them.
“Lie back.”
I did and she started to massage my shoulders.
“Who was Louise?” she whispered.
Her warm breath tickled my neck and my blood flowed to a newly discovered area of my body. I adjusted myself and covered my lap with my hands to avoid embarrassment.
“My wife,” I replied.
Her fingers instantly froze.
“We were married for less than a day. Well, as married as two slaves could be. I was smitten with her from the second I first saw her.”
I could feel Kiri pull away.
“I guess that’s just the way I am. It’s only happened twice to me.”
Kiri’s fingers moved slower, but they were back to massaging.
“Am I like her?”
I shifted underneath her. I never wanted to say the wrong thing to her, but then I decided I couldn’t say the wrong thing if she loved me half as much as I loved her.
“You’re like who I thought she was. If that makes sense?”
“Not really.”
“I had this idea of her. The perfect woman. The reality of her, well…You’re who I wanted in a wife. Wanted is the wrong word. It’s just…it’s been so long since I thought of having anyone in my life, I just kinda cut that thought from my mind. I just want you to know that you’re who I want.”
“Stop backpedaling and continue. Who am I to judge? Plus, I think you just called me perfect.” Kiri had leaned down to be right by my cheek.
“Have you ever loved before?”
“No.”
“Well, I did. We got married and had one night together. Then it got out about our marriage and well…masser grabbed her up. See, I was a field hand and she cooked in the big house. I came in and she wasn’t home, but that would be normal. So I started some supper to cookin’ and then the sun went down. She still hadn’t showed up, so I took off to look for her.
“Xiola came up to me as I was comin’ round the back door. Her body not recovered yet from the last sucker she’d dropped a month ago.
“Hey there, Big George, whatcha doin’ round here?”
“Just lookin’ on fur Louise. Ya’ll seen her?”
“No, sur. Not for nigh on halfa day. She an da masser whent inta town round ’bout ten, I’d say. I wish’d she’d get on back ta hep with ta dishes.”
“I thoughts I saw the masser’s foal tied up round ‘bout the front.”
“Oh, he’s been home. Yas know I bess check with Esther.”
Xiola walked back in the house.
“Essa…Essa…Big George come round ’bout Louise.”
Esther came to the half door of the kitchen and looked at me. The look in her eyes was mournful.
“Big George. I’s gonna come by after I’s done ta tell ya. The masser. Well, he’s done sold ’er. I’s so sorry Big George. I’s so sorry.”
I could feel my heart cavin’ in on me. I tore open the kitchen door and stormed through the house with Xiola and Esther screamin’ after me to stop, but I couldn’t. My heart was pumping and the thought he’d taken her from me was too much.
I found him in his study reading a book and smoking a pipe like he’d done nothing wrong that day. Louise didn’t have anything but the damn clothes on her back. In our home was the quilt her momma had made her. A doll her grandmamma had sewed for her.
“Where is she?” I bellowed, rushing in the room.
Masser just looked at me. Not scared. Not nervous. Not sorry about what he had done. He slowly drew in his pipe as his finger traced words on his page. He placed Louise’s ribbon, that’d been in her hair that morning, into the book to mark his page.
“Now, Big George, you and I both know she was a good woman and she’d fetch a handsome price at market. Which she did.” He was rubbin’ it right good to me. “Now I wouldn’t have had to do that if you wouldn’t have gone and married her. Can you tell me something? Why’d ya marry her when you can’t even perform your husbandly duties?”
“Where is she?”
“Strange thing is she said you did,” he said, glaring. “Louise’s at a nice place. I’m sure she’ll do fine. I’ll send ya a couple a girls I wants bred. Ya do me right with a few biggins I can sell at market. I might’s let ‘cha take a wife in a few years, but you’ve cost me a might sum o’er the years. And I’m gettin’ my due.”
“I ain’t a goddamn breeding stud. Where the hell did ya send my wife?”
He finally stood up.
“Look here, boy. You don’t take the Lord’s name in vain in my house. Ya hear me? Now go on, get. I’m given you a lil’ bita leeway ’cause I knowd ya liked her and all, but I’m only givin’ you enough rope to hang yaself with.”
My fist hit his face and I heard the crunch as his cheek shattered under my knuckles. His body flew across the room to the hearth. He backed up only to feel the flames licking him, so he flopped onto his stomach and crawled toward his gun. My foot met his gut as I reached for his revolver. Holding it to his head, I growled at him.
“Look here. I’ll kill ya right now then head upstairs to ya pretty lil’ wife and chillren. Ya hears me?” I cocked back the action. “Where’s my wife?”
The click made him jump and me too. The gun went off and the bullet grazed his skull.
“Over…over…there…” he said, pointing to a stack of papers. “I gots the man’s name. That’s all. It won’t do ya no good. Ya gonna be horsewhipped and hung like the monkey that ‘cha are.”
I pistol-whipped him with the butt of the gun. I raced to the forms on his desk as he yelled for Zeke. He didn’t realize I’d seen the name. See, I wasn’t supposed to be able to read. But I could. Zeke came from behind and pulled me out of the room.
“Zeke, tie him up. Ohhh, boy, I’m gonna whip you for old and new. Yes, sur, I am.”
“He had every right to kill me. If he wasn’t so pissed about me faking impotence for so many years, he might have that day. Until I met you Kiri, I wished he would’ve.
“It’s not like I didn’t already have a good five or six lashes that had cut my skin before. Wide enough to have the skin raised and scarred. But that day, he put about forty on there, I swear. Then he had them hold me down, while he beat me with his fists until both my eyes were swoll shut and my lip was bust near clean in half.
“I was laid down in my bed and Xiola treated my wou
nds the best she could. The next morning there were twelve girls at my door. Each came in and each left the same. Every day I didn’t perform, I got a lash for each girl. The girls started to lie for me. Saying ‘I had done them right good.’ Me being stubborn, I told him I’d never touch a girl on his plantation. I got twenty-four licks that day.
“They taunted me. Sayin’ I had sugar in my tank. I mean, how could a man resist, right? They even sent a young boy in one day. But I knew if the girls came up knocked, I’d be dead the next day.”
I reached back and felt for Kiri’s head. My fingers locked in her hair and she came to my lips.
“I’m so sorry, Nye. That must have been horrible. Did you ever see Louise again?”
“Once. I finally got away about a week later. The girls had been treating my wounds and helping me regain my strength. It took me six months to sneak up to where she was by Greenwood. She was pretty. She had a new dress on when I snuck up to the line where she was hanging laundry. That’s when I saw her swollen belly. Way too big to be mine unless there was a couple in there.
“Oh, Big George. What’cha doin’ here?”
“I came to get’cha. What’s ya think?”
“I’m all rights here. Mister Sur here is right good to me. I’s got my own home and everytin, and he’s right gentle with me.”
“You been laying with him.”
“Course. That’s why he bought me.”
“But we…what about this?”
I stroked her belly, only to have her laugh at me.
“Ahh that’s sweet. I likes ya. I really do, but I’s doin’ fine here. And the suckers, well, he’s Mister Sur’s. He had come by to see the Masser a few month’s before I gots sold.”
“You’d been with another man?”
Rage came over me. I felt like such a fool. But how was I to know what a virgin felt like. She acted like I had hurt her, like I’d heard the woman folk did.
“Ah, George, I knewd ya was slow, but heck, masser takes all the girls round ’bout fourteen, fifteen, then he lets his company have turns. When he found out I was knocked, he’d told me he’s gonna sell me.”
“Why didn’t ya tell him it ’twas mine?”
“Now what gooda that done? Masser was surprised when I told him you’d actually laid with me. Heck, I was surprised. I thoughts we’d just be like brother and sister. Ya best get back home now.”
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