by Radclyffe
Emma pressed Cain down on the bed and straddled her hips, wanting to give Cain all that in return. Cain slid her hands under the sides of Emma’s underwear and Emma leaned back so Cain could see all of her. “If you want me—”
Before Emma could finish, the fabric gave way when Cain seemed to lose patience with the barrier between them. But Emma wouldn’t roll over when Cain tried to guide her in that direction. “I’ll give you whatever you want, but not yet,” she told Cain, and reached behind her to place the flat of her hand on Cain’s sex.
Emma smiled when Cain bucked her hips slightly. “You’ve taught me so much about love.” She leaned down so her nipples were just barely touching Cain’s chest. “Don’t pout,” she said, since getting this close to Cain’s lips meant she’d had to move her hand, but it was her lips Emma wanted right now.
As soon as they kissed, Cain’s tongue went into her mouth and Cain squeezed her breasts, making Emma’s hips jerk down against her. Emma pulled back. “Be good.”
“I’m trying to be,” Cain said and again tried to roll her over.
“Ah ah.” Emma held Cain’s hands to the bed so she could give her one more kiss. She didn’t have anything to prove, she just wanted to touch Cain first and show her exactly how she felt. Her nipples dragged along Cain’s body as she took her time moving down. “Like I said, you taught me about love, but when we’re together like this I’m so glad you taught me about passion.” Emma spread her open, placed her index and middle finger along Cain’s hard clit, and squeezed.
“Please, lass,” Cain said, sounding desperate.
Emma let go and reached up, palms open, in a silent request to be held. When Cain clasped her hands, Emma lowered her head and sucked her in. No matter how much Cain moved her hips, she didn’t let go until Cain groaned her name as the orgasm took hold.
Cain pulled Emma up and embraced her. “Thank you, but I wanted to—”
Emma kissed her to get her to stop talking. “I had to do something to show you how much I loved my surprises. I don’t know why you went through all this trouble, but you outdid yourself today.”
This time Emma went willingly when Cain rolled her over “My friend Poppy told me that it was the most beautiful place to watch a sunset.”
“It was beautiful.”
“You’re right, it was, but that’s not why we’re really here.” Cain stroked Emma’s throat to the middle of her chest. “There is that old saying that if you love something, set it free. You left, and while it hurt like nothing ever has in my life, I set you free. But now you’re back. You came back to me, and if the rest of the saying is true, then you belong to me.”
“Oh, my darling, you’ve got to have known that from the first moment you saw me. But if you didn’t, then I’ll be happy to spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”
“You have nothing to prove, lass. Since you belong to me, then I wanted to give you a beautiful sunset as a gift. You can think back on this one and know that all the ones that come after it, until the end of my life, will be spent with you.” Cain kissed the spot on Emma’s chest over her heart and reached up to wipe the tears that had spilled from Emma’s eyes. Cain repeated the words she’d heard her mother say to her father at every one of their anniversaries. “My love is fierce, my heart is true, and the whole of who I am is yours.”
“Thank you,” Emma said, her words ending in a hiss when Cain bit down gently on one of her nipples. “Now make love to me, you romantic devil.”
It was a command that Cain gladly obeyed, and their laughter as well as their desire echoed off the waves until the sun started to rise. Cain had grown up immersed in tradition, and she was blessed to be starting her own with Emma.
Anyone But You - Radclyffe
RADCLYFFE is a retired surgeon and full time award-winning author-publisher with over thirty lesbian novels and anthologies in print, including the Lambda Literary winners Erotic Interludes 2: Stolen Moments ed. with Stacia Seaman and Distant Shores, Silent Thunder. Her novels Justice Served, Turn Back Time, and When Dreams Tremble were Lambda Literary award finalists. She has selections in multiple anthologies including Wild Nights, Fantasy, Best Lesbian Erotica 2006, 2007, and 2008, After Midnight, Caught Looking: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists, First-Timers, Ultimate Undies: Erotic Stories About Lingerie and Underwear, Hide and Seek, A is for Amour, H is for Hardcore, L is for Leather, and Rubber Sex. She is the recipient of the 2003 and 2004 Alice B. Readers’ award for her body of work and is also the president of Bold Strokes Books, one of the world’s largest independent LGBT publishing companies.
Anyone but You
Radclyffe
The apartment door eased open and a sharply etched wedge of light penetrated almost as far as the couch before the door shut silently, leaving the room in inky blackness once again. At 3 a.m., the intermittent rumble of traffic on the street below, the thin wail of distant sirens, and the occasional shout of late-night bar patrons had the muted quality of a receding dream.
I smelled her perfume at the same instant she stumbled against some object and gave a muffled curse.
“Turn the light on,” I said from the couch where I lay. “I’m awake.”
“Jesus, Marks! Scare me to death, why don’t you! What are you doing out here?”
The light snapped on and I blinked against a rush of tears. The harsh glare accomplished what nothing else could, not even when I stared into the dark for hours, torturing myself with mental pictures of Olivia fucking her latest boy toy. Tears wouldn’t change who we were. Or what I felt. “Sorry. I fell asleep.”
I swiped at my eyes and ran my hands through my hair while Liv plopped into the big chair across from the sofa. She kicked off her high-heeled sandals and swung her legs over the broad curved arm, wiggling her bare toes with their bright red nails. Her skirt, some kind of clingy black stuff, rose up her thighs until I could make out the shadow of the valley between her legs. I looked away, but not before I had an image of some large masculine hand violating that sacred space. Although I guess it’s not a violation, if it’s welcomed.
“How was your date?” I sat up and tugged my rumpled T-shirt down over my ratty sweatpants. Pathetic.
Liv rolled her head back and forth on the arm of the chair while she studied the ceiling. “Same old same old. I didn’t mind the bar scene when I was in school, you know? But after all this time it gets old.”
Ten years we’d been roommates, since college. There’d been five of us back then, but only Liv and I remained. The others, two guys and a girl, had finished school and gotten their own places or left for new adventures somewhere else. For some reason, even though we could both afford it, Liv and I kept the place. We didn’t even have that much in common, not really. I ran a heart-lung machine in the cardiac surgical wing at University Hospital. Liv managed a small, trendy restaurant on South Street. I favored softball and kayaking for recreation, Liz was an avid golfer. I’d been an out lesbian since I was fourteen. Liv preferred men whose dicks were bigger than their brains. I’d been in love with her since the minute she’d moved in. Five girlfriends over the ensuing years hadn’t changed my mind. Liv had no idea, and I didn’t see any point in letting her know. For the longest time, I made myself believe that being friends with her was better than not being around her at all. Lately, I’d been reconsidering. I couldn’t sleep when she wasn’t in the apartment.
Her bedroom was across the hall from mine, and we both slept with our doors open. By some unspoken agreement, during the week we didn’t date, having settled into a comfortable routine at home. We’d usually end up on the couch sharing popcorn and a movie, or if it was too late for anything else, a glass of wine and a recap of the day’s adventures. Then we’d shuffle off to the bathroom to get ready for bed, one after the other, passing each other in the hall with easy smiles. I slept in a sleeveless T-shirt and boxers. Liv wore panties and loose tank tops. She had a dancer’s body, loose limbed and lean. Her breasts were small and her nipples surpr
isingly large in comparison. I knew precisely how big they were as they pushed out against those tank tops.
When we turned out the lights, we’d wish each other pleasant dreams, then I’d lie awake listening to her shift and sigh until she fell asleep. Sometimes I’d think about the way her breasts swayed as she slipped by me in the hall and how it would feel to press my fingertips to the triangle of fabric between her thighs. Sometimes I’d imagine her crossing the great divide between us, crawling under the covers, and curling up in my arms. Her fingers would be soft as they teased over my breasts to my belly, and lower, between my legs. She’d stroke me and I’d get wet for her and come.
I’d come quietly, not moving, not breathing, so as not to disturb her dreams as she slumbered across the hall.
“I’ve been thinking about getting my own place,” I blurted, surprising us both.
Liv bolted upright, her eyes wide. “What? Why?”
Now that I’d said it, I felt lost and, at the same time, determined. Leaving was the right thing to do. Staying here with her, wanting her, was killing me. But the thought of not seeing her every day, not finding her in the kitchen making coffee in the morning or fixing leftovers for a midnight supper, was just as devastating. But, I reminded myself, one of these days Liv was going to hook up with a guy who had more to offer than a mind-blowing orgasm, and she was going to leave me anyhow. The only difference would be the length of time I’d put my life on hold, loving her. More certain now, I said, “A place closer to the hospital would be easier when I get called out at night.” That wasn’t enough of an argument, I knew, so I added the coup de grace, “And besides, the no sleepover rule is getting to be a problem.”
Even though it was just the two of us now, Liv and I had kept the rule the five of us had instituted years ago about not bringing our current romantic interest home for the night. We had all agreed we didn’t want to wake up to half-naked strangers in the kitchen, or even worse, in the shower. So Liv didn’t bring guys home, and I didn’t bring girls.
“Oh,” Liv said, sounding almost hurt. “I didn’t realize you had anything serious going on.”
“Well,” I said, not wanting to admit there wasn’t anyone and hadn’t been anyone for almost a year, “it’s…you know…headed that way.”
“Oh.” Liv curled a strand of red-gold hair around her finger and stared at something on the rug. “We could change the rule, you know. You wouldn’t have to move then.”
The very idea of watching a man fondle Liv right under my nose, in my own living room, literally made me sick. “Yeah, well, you know. Some girls like privacy. Noise and all.”
“Noise.” Liv didn’t look up, and her voice sounded shaky. “I guess even if we closed our doors it wouldn’t help all that much.”
I laughed, but it came out sounding strangled. I was pretty sure I’d lose my mind if I had to listen to some guy making Liv come. “I don’t think so. Hell, I can hear you snoring.”
Liv tried to look put out, but I could tell her heart wasn’t in it. “I don’t snore.”
“The hell you don’t,” I replied, starting to feel like I really might cry. God, I hated that she looked hurt. But I wanted to put my arms around her, I wanted to kiss the sadness from her eyes. I wanted to hold her, naked and warm against my skin, and that’s why I knew I couldn’t go on. I stood so suddenly Liv jolted back in the chair. “I’ll let you know in plenty of time to find another roommate.”
I was almost to the hall leading to our bedrooms when I must have imagined I heard her whisper, “I don’t want anyone but you.”
Then I reminded myself that wishing doesn’t make it so.
*
“Hey, Marks? Jen?”
“Yeah?” When I went to bed, I didn’t think I would be able to fall asleep. But I guess I had, because the room was light enough now for me to see Liv standing in the doorway of my bedroom. I’d dumped my sweats and T-shirt on the floor by the bed earlier, so I pulled the sheet up to my chin. I didn’t know why, because she’d seen me naked plenty of times before. This time, I felt exposed.
“Are you sleeping?”
“Not really.” I sat up and rubbed my face. “Are you okay?”
“Not really.” Liv took two steps into the room and stopped. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah. Sure.” I inched over toward the center of the bed, still clutching the sheet. “What’s wrong?”
Liz sat tentatively on the side of my bed, facing me. She wore her usual loose white ribbed tank top and bikinis. When she bent one knee up and circled it with her arms, I caught a flash of white at the apex of her thighs and the blood rushed from my head. If I doubted my decision to leave earlier, I didn’t now. I couldn’t be around her this way any longer.
“What’s your girlfriend’s name?”
“What?” I asked stupidly.
“Your girlfriend. What’s her name?”
Truth or lies—I was going to lose either way, and I wouldn’t give up everything for a lie. “She doesn’t have a name.”
Liv laughed a little, but it didn’t sound as if she was happy. “Do you just call her baby all the time?”
“I don’t call her anything at all.” I closed my eyes tightly, searching for the right words, and when I opened them again, Liv was leaning closer with an expression halfway between hope and sorrow on her face. I hated that I’d made her look that way, and I gently stroked her cheek. “I’m sorry. I don’t call her anything because there isn’t anyone to call. Anything.”
“No girlfriend?”
I shook my head. Liv glanced down and I realized I’d dropped the sheet when I’d touched her. But when I made a grab for it, she caught my hand.
“Don’t. You’re beautiful.”
“Jesus, Liv,” I groaned, yanking my arm away. I wanted to jump out of bed and run, but she was in the way.
“Why did you tell me you had a girlfriend? I’ve been going crazy thinking about you with her. Thinking about her making noises while you touched her, while you made her—”
I pressed my fingers to her lips. “Stop. Don’t say something you’ll regret tomorrow.”
She grabbed my arm with both hands and kissed my fingers. I froze. God, she didn’t just kiss. She savored. My stomach tightened into a simmering ball of need and my skin flushed hot. When she inched the tip of her tongue into the space between my fingers, one after the other, I started panting.
“Liv. Babe,” I croaked.
Liv smiled. “Babe? You call her babe?”
“No. I—”
“Who, then?” Liv half crawled up on the bed and leaned over me, her arms braced on either side of my shoulders. I burrowed back into the pillows, trying not to notice the expanse of bare belly that stretched below the bottom of her tank. “Who, Marks? Who do you call babe?”
“No one.” She raised an eyebrow. “I mean, not anyone but you. In my mind. Sometimes. Sometimes in my mind I call you babe.”
Liv threw one leg over my hips and crouched above me on all fours. The sheet pulled down farther, to my hips. I gripped it and tugged.
“Don’t,” Liv repeated, more softly this time. “Don’t you want me to see?”
“Liv, you don’t understand,” I pleaded.
“That’s just it,” Liv said. “I do. I do understand.”
She relaxed her arms a little and her breasts touched mine with only the thin cotton between us. My nipples hardened instantly, and Liv gave a little sigh. The sound slashed through me and I got wet.
“Please, Liv. Please move.”
“Do you know how long it’s been since I slept with a guy?” Liv asked, her mouth just inches from mine.
I groaned and shook my head.
“Nine months,” Liv whispered, her breath streaming into my mouth. Her breasts were full and firm against mine, and as she spoke, she settled her pelvis snugly between my legs. I fought not to whimper. “Nine months, and I kept telling myself the guys just weren’t right. Lousy kissers, crappy technique, too rough, not rough enough
, too fast, not fast enough. Just not right. None of them.”
My head was swimming. It took everything in me not to writhe beneath the weight of her body. The sheet did nothing to blunt her heat, and I felt her between my legs, her fire to my fire.
“Liv, don’t do this to me.” I clasped her hips as lightly as I could and tried to move her away. “This isn’t you.”
“This is me,” Liv said as if she’d just made a miraculous discovery. She kissed the edge of my jaw. “Oh, Marks, this is so me. I don’t want you to go.”
“I can’t stay.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want anyone but you. I love you, Liv. I’ve loved you forever.”
Liv kissed me, sweetly at first, as if she’d never kissed anyone before. She ran her tongue along the edges of my lips, then darted inside my mouth, laughing when I chased her tongue with mine. Then her hands were in my hair and her body pulsed and rolled over me. She made a hungry sound and kissed me like she knew exactly what a kiss was all about. She left me breathless and trembling and delirious with desire.
“I love you, too,” Liv whispered. “I love you, Marks. And I love the way you feel. The way we feel together.”
I grasped her shoulders and pushed her away until we were staring into each other’s eyes. “I want you too bad to stop if we don’t stop right now.”
Liv smiled and rocked her hips between my legs. I whimpered and jerked under her and she laughed. “No way are we stopping.”
“You’re so sexy,” I groaned. “I want you so much.”
“Does that mean you’re not going to be getting naked with anyone else?”
“Not a chance.” It was the truth, my truth, and saying it set my heart free no matter what the morning would bring. I cupped the back of her neck and pulled her down so I could kiss her like I had wanted to kiss her for as long as I could remember.
