by Liz Talley
“He’s Murphy,” she said with a wry smile.
“Indeed,” Clint agreed, coming to a halt beside an empty table. “He’s been thinking of retiring from the company, and I don’t want to run it. Being a tire man was never my plan, so I’ve been reassessing things, you know.”
“I do. Life can throw curveballs. Sometimes they’re named Charlie.”
Clint smiled and again Eva was reminded how good-looking the man was. “Yeah, exactly. So the reason I’m thinking of pulling out of the race is I received acknowledgment of my acceptance into grad school at LSU. I’ll start in January.”
“Wow, Clint. That’s awesome. Congratulations.”
When he smiled, he looked younger. Or maybe it was the spark of determination in his eyes. “Thanks. I’m going to work on my MBA and look for opportunities with companies in New Orleans or somewhere close. I’m determined to make a move in my life. I can’t keep doing the books for Dad’s company and spinning my wheels here.”
“I’m excited for you, Clint.” She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. She intended on letting go but he held it fast.
“And I’m hoping you might be open to being part of that moving forward.”
Uh-oh. “What do you mean?”
“Well, to be honest, I’ve grown really attached to having you around. You’re pretty much the ray of sunshine in my otherwise gloomy existence.”
Oh, shit.
No one had ever called her a ray of sunshine. No, she’d never been sunny, happy and…blinding. She was more mild and overcast. And for him to say she lit up his gloomy existence, well, that was hard to shoot down. She couldn’t tell Clint she wasn’t interested now—not after his admission. It would be akin to knocking a bird nest from a tree or yanking up a newly budding flower. Cruel as a hard frost.
“Well, thank you.” What else could she say, really?
“So I wondered if you might be interested in something more, too?” he asked, looking up at her with an expression that broke her heart. So yearning. So damn, damn yearning. “I’d like to actually take you on a date. No Charlie. Or Jake.”
“You’ve caught me off guard. I’ve never really thought—”
“I know. Me neither. But it makes sense. We’re two young, fairly attractive—” he gave her a smile “—well, at least I am.”
She hiccupped a laugh.
“Why shouldn’t we see what happens? We’re already friends, and they say that’s the best place to start in a relationship,” he finished.
“Yeah, I’ve heard the same thing,” Eva said, looking out at the families laughing with one another. Well, a few parents were fussing at their kids. Such was the nature of a family. Eva was learning that quickly. “But you can’t design love, Clint. Just because it makes sense on paper doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.”
“I’m not designing a relationship, Eva. You’re such an incredible person.”
“No, I’m not. I’m a regular person. There just aren’t that many single gals left in this one-horse town.”
“I’m not going after the pick of the litter, if that’s what you’re implying,” Clint said. “I find you attractive, and you mean something to me.”
Eva pressed her lips together and kept her eyes trained on a small blond boy crying for some cotton candy. She had no words for this situation. She’d suspected Clint might have been moving toward this and now that he admitted having feelings for her, she wasn’t prepared. At all.
“I’m not asking you to marry me. Just date me.” Clint lightly clapped his hands together as if he were an attorney finishing his closing statement.
Eva swallowed hard, her thoughts running into each other. Should she say yes? Fake stomach cramps? Stall?
Thing was she didn’t want to hurt Clint. The man had been through so much—the accident, painful physical therapy, the death of his mother, the coldness of his father. He deserved someone who made him happy, and this was a huge step for him.
But she didn’t feel the same way.
“I’m not sure I can do that,” she said, sinking onto the picnic table bench, not quite ready to meet his eyes. “You mean a lot to me, but I’ve never felt the slightest romantic interest. I wish I did. You’re a gorgeous guy with such a big heart, but I can’t make a puzzle piece fit where it doesn’t belong.”
“I’m not asking you to feel anything yet. Just give us a chance to see if it’s something that could work.”
“I don’t think we should.”
“Why not?”
Because I’m in love with your best friend.
She didn’t say that, of course, but she thought it. She felt it. As flawed as Jake was, as selfish, hardheaded and egotistical as Jake was, she loved him.
Her love was an albatross around her neck.
“Because there’s nothing there on my side…except for sincere friendship.”
There. She’d said it.
“But friendship can change, can’t it?”
And that was the question she’d been pondering for weeks. Could it truly change? Sex was one thing. Love quite another. “I don’t know, Clint. But right now my life is in flux. I don’t know what will happen with Charlie or when Claren will be able to care for him again.”
“But you’ve been dating Jamison.”
“Something I’m putting the brakes on. My focus right now is on Charlie.”
“So you won’t even try?” Clint asked.
Eva shook her head. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. You can’t plan out these things. That’s what you’re doing.”
“No, I’m not, but if that gives you comfort for turning me down…” He hit a button on his chair and started rolling forward.
“Clint, don’t be that way. You hit me with this out of the blue.”
The man didn’t stop or even acknowledge her words.
“Clint,” she said again.
He stopped, his body facing away from her. “I get it. I’m not a whole man and—”
“Oh, my God. I’ve never treated you that way. Don’t you dare accuse me of that. This has nothing to do with your disability. You know it.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “You have no other good reason.”
“Other than I don’t want to? Would you rather me make up feelings? We’re friends, and friends don’t lie to one another. They also don’t put each other in uncomfortable positions. That’s what you’re doing to me.”
“By wanting to love you, Eva?” His voice quivered slightly, making her feel like dog crap. Her belly ached, and her throat felt raspy with unshed tears.
“Oh, God, Clint,” Eva said, the tears finally coming. She brushed them from her cheeks, incredulous that their fun Saturday afternoon adventure had turned into this. She’d hurt Clint, a man who’d suffered too much hurt in his life, and that made her feel…well, just horrible. “I’m sorry. So, so sorry. I can’t do this right now. It’s not the right time.”
He didn’t respond, just hit the switch on his chair and rolled away, leaving her sitting on the bench surrounded by shrieking kids, laughing parents and the scents of a thousand good things.
Eva pressed her fingers into her eyes and tried to think how to fix this. But she knew there was no good answer. Some things in life had no solution.
Sometimes life just hurt.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
JAKE WENT TO church that morning. He didn’t know why. He just got up, fixed a cup of coffee and sat on the porch of his small garage apartment behind his aunt Opal’s house and watched a few cardinals hop around in the waxy camellias surrounding the backyard. At some point he decided he didn’t want to go back to bed, watch SportsCenter or mow Aunt Opal’s front lawn. He wanted to go sit with his family in their pew and watch his father give a no doubt polished, yet heartfelt message of God’s love.
Yeah, he was as shocked as everyone who stared as he ambled down the aisle during the opening hymn. A few people even stopped singing “Rock of Ages.” But his mother merely smiled and scooted over s
o he could sit beside her. The woman never missed a note. His father looked confused…may have even lifted his eyes heavenward…but he didn’t fall off his chair behind the pulpit.
The sermon was about the prodigal son.
Jake almost laughed when he heard the topic but managed to suppress it. His brother John, however, did give him a brow wiggle thing that suggested he’d played his part to perfection.
After church he followed his parents like an obedient duckling to their large house, where lunch would be served.
“Jake, can you grab the rolls out of the pantry and pop them in the oven?” Fancy said, tying on an apron and lifting the lid of the slow cooker. “Abigail, put the carrots on. They’re on the second shelf of the fridge.”
Jake sank into the moment, enjoying slapping a pat of butter on each roll as his siblings rushed around him. Usually, such things threatened to suffocate him, but he needed something at that moment. And that something was the comfort of people who truly loved him.
Unfortunately, Eva had not been in church. Subconsciously, he’d thought she’d be there, and maybe that was the reason he’d worn a button-down shirt and old tie. Eva usually attended church. But not that morning.
Why?
Did it have something to do with the palpable tension that had sat between her and Clint on the way home yesterday? Or maybe the curt goodbye she’d given him? Or the fact Charlie had pitched another fit when she hadn’t let him have the money to go on the Ferris wheel for the third time?
Something about the look in her eyes had…made him ache for her in a whole different way.
He didn’t like sad Eva. Seeing the pain in her smile, the way she tiptoed around both him and Clint had made him want to fix things for her. But hell, he’d never been able to fix himself, so what could he do but crack jokes the entire way home? Be the same Jake he’d always been. The one everyone expected.
But that morning he’d craved something different. Obviously. He’d ended up here, at his parents’ house, the place he’d been both the best and worst of himself.
“So where’s Eva?” Abigail asked, pushing him aside to grab a hot pad.
“How should I know?” he said, slamming the drawer when Abigail moved.
“Wow, you’re awfully prickly,” his sister said.
Fancy looked up from stirring something with fruit in it. “Is everything okay with you, Jake? Have you done something to keep Eva away?”
“Jesus,” he breathed, wishing he’d stayed his ass home. “I’m not Eva’s keeper.”
His mother narrowed her eyes but went back to stirring. Abigail shot him a look he couldn’t decipher and thankfully didn’t have to, because John and Shelby came into the kitchen. John carried Lindsay Rebecca, who gave everyone a gummy smile. His brother snuck a cherry off the top of the fruit his mother was stirring, earning himself a smack.
“Hey, is Eva coming today?” John asked him.
Jake set the knife on the counter and walked out of the kitchen.
“What the hell is up with you?” John called out.
“Watch your mouth, mister,” his mother responded.
Jake looked for his keys. He usually carried them in his pocket, but his only pair of khaki trousers were a bit too snug and so he’d set them…somewhere. Maybe on the buffet or—
Birdie walked by, dangling them.
“Looking for these?” she drawled.
Jake tried to snatch them, but Birdie pulled them back. “You can have them as soon as I get my check. Make it payable to Bridgette Orgeron. Feel free to add in a tip. I did make Charlie blow his nose once and made him wash his hands after jumping in the bouncy.”
“I don’t have my checkbook.”
“Then cash will work.”
“Jeez, Birdie.”
“Bridgette.”
“Whatever. Can I please have my keys?” The last thing he needed was his smart-mouthed niece, who reminded him a bit too much of his cousin Hilda. Hilda possessed an all-knowing, all-seeing eye. She’d also sent over some clothing catalogs with items she deemed appropriate for him circled. So, no, he didn’t feel like dealing with Hilda’s mini-me right now.
The girl held out her palm, and he didn’t miss the twinkle in her eyes.
“Fine,” he growled, unwedging his wallet from his back pocket. He pulled out a twenty. “I’ll have to owe you the four.”
“Give me that five-dollar bill. A dollar tip will work.”
“You’re a typical woman. Bleed a man dry.”
Birdie laughed. “I’m just learning early.”
“Here,” Jake said, slapping the five on top of the twenty and grabbing his keys.
“Why are you leaving? You never come to church and Sunday dinner. Why go, you’re already here?”
“Because everyone, including you, is being annoying.” Jake headed toward the foyer and nearly ran into his father.
“Hey, son. So glad you’re here this morning. Meant a lot to see you out there next to your mother.” Dan grabbed his shoulders and gave a smile that weakened Jake’s resolve.
“Don’t bother. He’s leaving,” Birdie said.
Dan’s brow lowered. “What’s wrong? I planned that sermon long ago. I hope the subject matter didn’t feel directed toward you.”
“Nah, unless we’re having the fatted calf,” Jake tried to joke. He didn’t want any sort of cross-examination. He shouldn’t have come.
“Well, your mom is cooking a roast, so…” Dan smiled and slapped a hand on his back.
“I think he wants to leave because they’re teasing him about Eva,” Birdie said, turning and walking out of the room, clutching her money. Little shit.
“Eva?” his father said.
“This isn’t about Eva. Still, why is everyone asking me about her? What’s going on?”
His father gave him a sheepish smile and jerked his head toward his study. “Come with me and I’ll tell you.”
The irritation he felt melted into dread. Going to his father’s study for a talk was never a good thing. Those conversations were serious.
His father’s study was warm and inviting, though when Jake had been younger he’d never considered it as such. He’d received many a stern lecture while perched on the leather couch sitting against the wood-paneled wall. Bookshelves surrounded a large desk scattered with notes and stacks of different versions of the Bible. Silver picture frames were perched here and there, displaying shining faces of those he loved, including a new one of Abigail, Leif and Birdie taken on the day Leif proposed to Abigail.
“What’s up?” Jake said, refusing to sit. He wanted to stand.
“Nothing, but you mentioned Eva.”
“Yeah, everyone keeps asking about her. It’s weird.”
“Well, Charlie might have said a few things.”
“Oh.” Jake sat. He pretty much knew what Charlie had said…and he pretty much knew that the news of him and Eva kissing had swept through the Beauchamp family like lice through a slumber party. They were probably all scratching their heads, too. “I kissed her.”
His father laughed. “We’re used to you kissing pretty girls, Jake. Guess we never thought you’d work your way around to Eva.”
“Are you going to deliver the same lecture Matt gave me?”
“What lecture would that be?”
“About how Eva deserves better and yada, yada, yada.”
Dan leaned against his desk, folding his hands so they rested against his rounded stomach. “How could Eva ever get better than you?”
“Oh, come on, Dad. I know what everyone says about me.”
“And that’s what you think you are?” His father shook his head. “I don’t know what’s going on between you and Eva, but I hope it’s something good. Matt may have had different words for you, and I can see him warning you away from her. She’s a good person, and no one wants to see her hurt.”
A warning lay in his father’s words. One thing everyone agreed upon was that Eva wasn’t the kind of girl to mess around w
ith. Serious intentions only.
“Do you think I’m…” Jake started and then tapered off. How could he ask his father such a thing? Do you think I’m good enough for her?
’Cause that was what he’d been wondering for the past few days…it was the reason he’d tagged along to the festival…the reason he couldn’t seem to stay away from her. He wanted her for more than a tangle in his sheets. When she’d implied that he’d only stick around for a few weeks, maybe a month or two, he’d started wondering why he’d never expected more from a woman than a good time. Wasn’t as if he’d been raised to avoid commitment. On the contrary, Dan and Fancy were perfect role models for what happily-ever-after looked like. So why had he spent the past ten years or so running from anything that looked like forever? Was he that broken by his past?
“Do I think what?” His father interrupted Jake’s thoughts.
“Nothing. I get that Eva’s not a girl to be messed with. She’s pretty dang special, and I’d never want to be the guy who hurt her.”
“I know all that, but we’re not talking about hurting Eva. We’re talking about you. About your stakes.”
“I don’t know how to feel, Dad. I never planned on Eva happening to me.”
“So are you asking me if Eva could be ‘the one’?” his father asked, his eyes growing serious.
“No.”
His father sighed.
“Yes,” Jake admitted.
“Oh, Jakey. Do you think you don’t deserve love? Is that what this is?”
“No.” Jake shook his head. And then he felt something collapse inside him. “I don’t know. I never wanted anyone like Eva. I mean, not that the girls I’ve dated haven’t been nice. It’s just Eva…well, I already love her. You know? She’s been one of my best friends for the past few years, and I don’t want to lose that.”
Exactly the same reason Eva had given when she refused to go on a date with him. He got that. He didn’t want to lose her, either, which was why he’d backed off.
“Both Eva and I agree that we’d rather repress these feelings and keep our friendship. It’s safer that way, and no one gets hurt.” Jake sank back onto the aged leather.
