by Amy Marie
I point my finger at her. “You were never a side fuck, Hadley! I was making plans for us. Plans that involved marrying you! And following your dream?” I turn to look around the office. “Painting was your dream! You had dreams to teach others. Not planning someone’s wedding! Did you lose the fucking balls you used to have, Hadley? Where is the Hadley I knew?”
Her feet stomp on the floor, stopping just in front of me. Her tiny finger pokes into my chest. “The Hadley you knew is GONE! You ruined her. You fucked me and got what you wanted. And don’t you ever, I mean EVER, talk about my dreams. They don’t involve you. Not anymore! So, leave! Go back to your country club life and leave your EX secret side fuck alone. I’m fucking someone new now!”
My face drops as do my hands. I can’t think about her with someone else. “I’m leaving.”
She snorts. “Good.”
“Are you going to tell me to stop?” I ask.
She just stares at me saying nothing until the phone rings. She turns around to grab it. “Events Unlimited. Had...”
I don’t wait around to find out if it’s her new fuck.
My feet drag as I walk into my apartment. My shoes are haphazardly launched across the room. I’m not only physically exhausted but even worse, mentally. The last twenty-four hours have taken its toll and all I want to do is lie on the couch and fall asleep to some mindless TV.
Clatter from the kitchen startles me, and I slowly walk in finding Braden cooking dinner, something he hasn’t done in a long time.
“Hey, baby. You’re home on time,” he says, surprise evident from his raised eyebrows.
I walk over and lean on my tiptoes, placing a kiss on his cheek. “On time? Yes. Why are you surprised?”
He walks over to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of my favorite wine and pours me a glass handing it over. He continues his assault on the ground beef in the pan as I lean back against the counter and watch him over the top of my glass.
“No reason.” He stops chopping and looks at me expectantly. “How was your day? Anything exciting happen?”
“Fine.” I shrug my shoulder, taking another sip. “Yours?”
From the outside looking in, it would seem like we do this all the time, but I can’t remember the last time he was cooking in my apartment or asking how my day was. We’ve been long past those kinds of pleasantries. But this is nice.
His eyes don’t leave mine. A look crosses his face like he expects more of an answer and when he doesn’t get one he smiles and turns back to the stove. “Mine was fine too. Same shit different day.” He chuckles to himself. “Why don’t you go relax? I’m almost done.”
Not hesitating, I make my way to the living room and sit on the couch, closing my eyes. “I’m starving,” I call out.
“Me too,” he replies while creating more clatter in the kitchen.
My mind wanders to the day’s events. Seeing Ryder in my office was surreal. Never in a million years did I envision him where I work and when he caressed me with that flower, my body started an all out war with my mind. I had to reel it in. I know the physical attraction will never go away, he was my first love, but when I think back to how he was the center of the worst day of my life, all draw to him is lost.
I needed him and he ruined me. I can never take back the time spent with him but I do blame Ryder for a lot of what I call the domino effect that is my life.
He hurt me. I left. I went into protect mode. Don’t let anyone in and don’t let my true self out. I expressed it in my art but never outwardly. He changed me and not for the good.
Amazing pressure is being applied to the balls of my feet and I open my eyes to find Braden with one in each hand. He’s looking down at them, a worried look on his face.
“That feels amazing,” I compliment.
Not looking up or responding, he keeps massaging. I leave him be for a minute, not only because it feels good but also because he seems to be lost in thought.
When I can’t contain the silence anymore I ask, “Are you okay?”
Lifting his head, he smirks, never letting go of the hold on my feet. “I’m good. I was just thinking.”
“About what?”
He doesn’t answer. He just pries my legs apart and slides between them. The memory of Ryder doing the same invades my thoughts for a split second until Braden sweet voice speaks, “I love you.”
My heart constricts. “I love you too,” I say but it’s an automatic response. I lift my fingers to his face and rub down the side of cheek. Guilt creeps in. I do love him. So much. I’m just not sure I’m in love with him anymore. Ryder’s recent presence has made sure I’m fully aware of that.
“I trust you, Hadley. I want you to know that.”
I give a half smile. “I know. I trust you too.”
Braden lifts up onto his knees and pushes my jean skirt up. My thighs start to tingle at his touch. His hands creep up higher. “Is this mine, Hadley?” he asks caressing the fabric of my panties between my legs. My toes start to dig into the carpet. I squirm. He hasn’t been this attentive before sex in a long time.
I love it.
“Yes,” I breathe out.
The pressure gets harder between my legs, and he slides the material over, teasingly caressing me up and down.
“I couldn’t hear you,” he commands, dipping his finger into me.
I throw my head back and the invasion. “Yes!” I cry louder.
In an instant my panties are ripped down and off my feet.
“I thought you were hungry,” I whisper.
His arms burrow their way under my thighs and wrap around pulling them towards his waiting mouth. “I’m famished.” He growls just before he licks me up my center. “Starving, Hadley.”
And with that, his mouth moves quickly, sucking, pulling, pushing against me. I can’t help but rub myself all over him, trying to reach a destination that hasn’t been visited in a while. I whimper as my body tenses and the explosion consumes me. I scream out his name and push his face into me, riding it out, almost embarrassed at how fast I came.
I’m sated but have no time to relax before I’m pulled up and thrown over the back of the couch, my ass pushing towards him. I lean over and use my hands to steady myself. I can hear the zipper of his pants come down as he situates my skirt over my ass.
He’s in me, gripping my hips from behind, pushing in and out at a rapid pace. His mouth teases my ear and his hand grasps my shoulder. I can already feel the start of another orgasm. “Louder, Hadley. Tell me this is mine.”
My body lurches forward and back. I can barely breathe, let alone talk. Another orgasm is within reach but he stops just short of completion. I let out a frustrated groan.
His breath caresses my ear and he whispers, “I won’t ask again. I said louder.”
“Yours! It’s fucking yours! I’m yours–just make me come, Braden!” I yell. I’m pissed. I’m frustrated and I want a fucking orgasm from a dick and not from a vibrator finishing me off after he has long since come inside me.
He starts his pace again, punishingly slapping his front to my back. The tingling sensation starts all over again and when he reaches a hand forward and slaps my clit I yell out, seeing stars take over my vision as an orgasm to end all orgasms rips through me.
“FUCK!” I scream over and over again riding it out.
Braden doesn’t stop. He continues to thrust into me. “Again,” he says grabbing a nipple in his hand and pinching it. His mouth coming down onto my shoulder before he takes a bite. “I want you to come again!”
“Braden, I can’t...”
“You can and you will,” he states, moving his hands so one is on my hip and the other is holding onto the crease between my neck and shoulder. He pulls back gently, lifting me off the back of the couch and fucks me so fast I have no warning before I come again. My body screams out in protest. I haven’t come this many times, ever, and the third time is better than the first and second combined. It lasts longer, and I feel as though I might black out.
His speed increases and I’m thankful that this amazing torture is almost over. My body is spent with his newfound aggression.
“Again,” he commands.
~~
I look like a mess. The curls I spent most of the morning fixing are tangled and mascara is smeared under my eyes. There is certain glow to me though. The glow of four orgasms. I was thankful that he stopped after the fourth. I think that I would’ve died if he tried to command another one out of me but that tops the sex we used to have...by far.
The bathroom door opens as I’m ripping the knots out of my hair with a comb. Braden walks in and wraps his hands around me, eyeing me in the mirror.
“Are you sure you are okay?” I ask trying not to hit him with the bristles as I untangle another knot.
“I am now.” He smiles, giving me the answer I was hoping for.
I take a long look at him for a few moments, and I grin. Today I see the man I fell in love with, the man who I trust. The man who used to treat me like a princess is coming back to me.
“Me too.” I say, earning myself a barrage of kisses along my neck. Turning in his arms I clasp my fingers around his neck. “Let me work through these knots and I’ll be right out...then maybe we can eat.”
A smile stretches across his face. “I’m pretty full now, but I could always go for seconds.” He winks, and it warms my body.
I’ve missed this.
I kiss the tip of his nose. “Maybe tomorrow, the buffet closed for the night.” I giggle.
He sighs exaggeratedly. “Okay, I guess I can settle for spaghetti.” He turns but not before he slaps my ass. “Oh, and I’m spending the night again. I’ll grab my stuff while you’re finishing up.”
He leaves me alone and I scrub my face and throw my hair up into a ponytail. After putting on some shorts and a tank top I head for the living room and the sight of my phone stops me.
I pick it up and open a new text, typing in the number that I didn’t want to memorize but that is now engrained into my head.
Me: You said I needed to tell you if you should stop or not.
I jump as my phone rings in my hand. I see the same number I just texted pop up and I look out of my glass doors towards the parking lot, spotting Braden talking to one of my many nosy neighbors.
I hesitantly hit accept on the screen.
“Hello,” I whisper not that Braden can hear me.
“I want to hear what you choose...not in a text.” Ryder’s sexy growl comes from the receiver.
My head falls forward. His voice is affecting me in ways that I hate and love at the same time. I glance back outside and see that Braden is now smiling. He’s handsome, educated, successful, and he has never given me any reason not to trust him. After tonight, I feel like our slump might be over.
I’ve decided. “I want you to stop.”
“Hads...” Ryder starts.
“No. You told me to choose. I chose. I want you to stop. I love Braden and I trust him. I want you to leave me alone.”
The door to my apartment slams shut, and I hit end on the screen.
Braden’s head tilts to the side in wonder. “Who was that?”
I look at the phone, deleting my text and dialed call within a few seconds. “Telemarketers,” I breathe out, dropping my phone onto the table, and hopefully keeping Ryder out of my life and as far away from Braden as possible.
“What’s up your ass?” AJ asks sitting his lazy ass on my couch. I’ve just walked in after leaving Hadley’s office and he was already here.
Cracking open a beer, I lean back in my recliner and flip on my big screen TV. “Shut the hell up.”
He stands up and reaches over to slap me upside the back of my head. He may be my best friend but he can be annoying as fuck.
I don’t give a shit. I feel like I’m in shambles. The last day has rocked my world and not in the good way. All I want are answers. Or a chance. Or something. Anything from Hadley. The last thing I want is AJ to be hanging around but unfortunately he was already in my house when I got home from Hadley’s office.
I love this place. It’s the reason I moved back to my hometown. It is what I had in mind when I thought about settling down after screwing around for so long. I had a great job at the Elgin police department but I found this house and fell in love with it. The bonus is being closer to my sister and Mom. I know my mom misses me and my sister is always looking for help with the girls. The down side is that I have to start at the bottom at the new department.
Settling back into the couch, he takes a pull from his beer. “Are you still crying over that Hadley chick?”
I stop flipping through the channels to give him the “don’t fuck with me glare” but he’s immune to it. He’s seen it a time or two.
“Don’t look at me like that, Blake. I saw what happened last night and after hearing what happened at her office I think you should just leave that chick drama alone.” He stands up again because he couldn’t keep still to save his life and glances down at his phone. “Let’s get the hell out of here. It’s Friday and I want to get laid. Unless you’re putting out?”
I whip the remote at him and down the entire can of beer.
Why the hell not. I can’t just sit here at home and think about her like some pathetic loser. I’ll do it in a bar.
~~
I’ve been here all of two hours and drank more than my weight in Heinekens.
“Screw her out of your system, bro!” AJ yells over the loud bar music. It’s pretty packed in here tonight but I barely see anyone around me. “There are hot pieces of ass everywhere!”
I finally look up and take notice of all the women here. It’s ladies night and they are all looking for some poor sucker to buy them all of their drinks.
I order another beer and try to block Hadley out of my thoughts but it’s no use. I flip between how fucking sexy she looked last night and today. How much her body has changed into a toned and tight woman and before I can think better of it I imagine her body underneath mine. On top of mine.
As the waitress drops the green bottle in front of me, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pull it out and see an incoming text that has to be from Hadley.
Unknown: You said I needed to tell you if you should stop or not.
It’s like she knew I was thinking about her. Caressing her in my thoughts. But whether she tells me to stop or to come over and take what I want, I need to hear her voice say it.
AJ calls out when I stand up without a word and walk outside. The summer heat instantly brings to sweat to my forehead or maybe it’s the fact that I’m going to hear her voice again.
When I dial her number it rings once and she answers quietly, “Hello.”
I don’t know what it is about her voice. The innocence in it makes my mouth dry, and I have to lick my lips so I can talk. “I want to hear what you choose...not in a text.”
It’s quiet on the other end, and I’m hoping it’s because she doesn’t know how to tell me she wants me.
When she finally speaks it makes my stomach drop. “I want you to stop.”
I look up to the Heavens hoping I can change her mind. I told her I would stop if she asked me to. I just don’t know if I can. “Hads...”
“No. You told me to choose. I chose. I want you to stop. I love Braden and I trust him. I want you to leave me alone.”
A beep sounds in my ear notifying me that the call has ended and I rest my back against the brick building. It’s like I’ve been shot. Her words come out so harsh...like she never loved me. Like she never trusted me.
I gave all of me to her. She knew things about me that no one else did. If anyone should have trust issues it should be me. The day I found out she left still haunts me. It’s like one minute you are whole and you know everything is going to go right for you for once and the next it’s ripped away from you leaving the imprint in your hands.
I drop my cell on my bed for the eighth time as I try to figure out why the hell Hadley won’t answe
r my calls. I’ve sent too many texts to count, and at this point I am starting to worry. It’s Sunday and the last time I saw her was Friday at the football game. I had big plans for us today.
I was going to pick her up and take her back to my house and confront my parents. I don’t give a shit if Hadley’s dad is married to my dad’s high school sweetheart or that they had been sneaking around behind my dad’s back for months.
Hadley looks just like her mother did back then and I almost sympathized with my dad for losing Mrs. Chase to someone else. I wouldn’t let that happen to me. Hadley will one day be my wife. I can guarantee that.
Deciding to stop being a damn chicken I run out of the house to my truck and drive the few minutes over to Hadley’s house. It practically sits on top of the other houses on her street and looks run down. I’ve never taken Hadley to my home. I’m almost embarrassed at how massive it is just for four people. I’m not a show off. I don’t flaunt money around like my parents do or my friends who also have well off Moms and Dads. Unlike them, I would never look down my nose at someone because they had less than I do. Money doesn’t buy you the kinds of things that are necessary in life...like love. And I fucking love Hadley and will spend every day proving to her how much...and after today everyone else will see it too, not that I care what they think.
I park along the street and walk up the short sidewalk to her front door. I rub my sweaty palms on my pants. This is the first time I’ve gone to her house without sneaking in the window. I ring the bell with no response. I find her bike in the driveway along with both of her parents’ cars. Annoyed, I press the bell again two more times and wait. Footsteps grow heavy as someone approaches and then opens the door.
Her dad stands there looking at me half smiling until he realizes who I am.
“What?” He scoffs glancing behind me.
I take a deep breath now nervous to ask for her and scared shitless for when we tell this man that I am dating his daughter. I can see from his eyes that he hates me just because of who my dad is. I don’t understand it though. He is the one who stole his best friend’s girlfriend.
