Two days later we Defused for a scheduled navigation check. The greater the distance in Fusion, the more our navigation errors would compound. It was customary on a long cruise such as ours to Defuse two or three times, replotting the coordinates each time.
We came out of Fusion deep in lonely interstellar space. Darla and the Pilot both plotted our course. Their figures agreed with those of Vax, who as midshipman of the watch also ran a check. But instead of Fusing directly, the Captain laid over another night, drifting in space.
At dinner that night I sat two tables from the Captain. He seemed determined to be cheerful. I could see him teasing Yorinda Vincente, who laughed uncertainly, as if unsure of the right response. I looked for Amanda and found her across the hall at Table Seven with Dr. Uburu. I willed her to catch my eye. Eventually she did, smiled gently, turned away.
A forkful of beef halfway to my mouth, I watched the Captain reach for his water glass. He paused, a puzzled look on his face. He gestured and said something to the steward, who hurried to Table Seven. A moment later Dr. Uburu was kneeling by the Captain’s chair. Captain Malstrom was hunched over the table.
Two sailors serving the mess helped the Captain to his feet, supporting him from either side, guiding his unsteady steps toward the corridor. Dr. Uburu followed. I watched, agape.
There was no one senior to stop me. I excused myself and boldly left the dining hall for the corridor to the ladder. I ran up the steps two at a time to officers’ country. No one was in the infirmary except the med tech on watch. I hurried forward to the Captain’s cabin. Of course his hatch was shut. It was unheard of to knock, so I waited.
After some minutes Dr. Uburu stepped out and shut the hatch. “What are you doing here?” Her tone was a challenge.
I wasn’t reassured by the look on her dark, wide-boned, face. “Is he all right, ma’am?”
She ignored my breach of discipline. “I can’t discuss the Captain’s personal affairs.” She started toward the infirmary.
I hurried to keep up. “Is there anything I can—I mean—” I didn’t know what I meant.
Dr. Uburu was brusque. “Go back to the dining hall. That’s an order.”
Phrased like that, she left me no choice at all. She was an officer, rank equal to a lieutenant, and I was a midshipman. “Aye aye, ma’am.” I turned and left.
All next day the Captain was off watch. I asked the Pilot when we would Fuse; he shrugged and left it at that, and I knew I wouldn’t get any information from him. When my watch ended at last I went back to the wardroom. None of the other middies had heard anything reliable through the ship’s grapevine.
I was thinking about hunting for Amanda; I needed her comforting acceptance. But there came a knock on the wardroom hatch; the med tech was outside, ill at ease. “Mr. Seafort, sir, you’re wanted in the infirmary.”
“Why the infirmary?” If anything, I was hoping for a summons from the Captain’s cabin.
“It’s the Captain, sir. He’s been moved there.” Vax and I exchanged a glance. I donned my jacket and hurried after the tech. Dr. Uburu indicated a cubicle; I went in alone.
Captain Malstrom lay on his side under a limp white sheet, his head propped on a pillow. The halogen lights hurt my eyes. He offered a weak smile as I entered and came to attention. “As you were.”
“How are you, sir?”
For answer he threw off the sheet. He wore only his under-shorts. His side and back were a mass of blue-gray lumps.
I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to will them away. “How long have you known, I mean, have they been—”
“Four days. They came up just a few days ago.” He made an effort to smile again.
“Is it ...”
“It’s T.”
“Oh, Harv.” Tears were running down my face. “Oh, God, I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you.”
“Can she—are they doing anything, sir? Radiation, anticars?”
“There’s more, Nicky. She found it in my liver, my lungs, my stomach. I haven’t been able to see too well today, either. She thinks it might be in my brain too.”
I didn’t care what they did to me. I reached out and took his hand. If anyone had seen, I could have been summarily shot.
He squeezed my fingers. “It’s all right, Nicky. I’m not afraid. I’m a good Christian.”
“But I’M afraid, sir.” The situation began to sink in on me. “That’s why you didn’t Fuse.”
“Yes. I think ... I’m not sure ... whether to go back.” He lay back, closing his eyes. He breathed slowly, hoarding his strength. We stayed as we were for several minutes. I began to realize what had to be done.
“Captain,” I said slowly, clearly. “You have to give Vax his commission. Right now.”
He came awake. “I hate to do it, Nicky. He can be such a bully. If he’s in charge and there’s no one to stop him ...”
“He’s changed, sir. He’ll do all right.”
“I don’t know ...” His eyes closed.
“Captain Malstrom, for the love of Lord God, for the sake of this ship, commission Vax while you still can!”
He opened his eyes again. “You think I ought to?”
“It’s absolutely necessary.” What might happen otherwise was too horrible to contemplate.
“I suppose you’re right.” He was growing drowsy. “I’ll sign it into the Log. First thing in the morning.”
“I could get the Log now, sir.”
“No, I want to think about it overnight. Bring him in tomorrow morning, I’ll do it then.”
“Aye aye, sir.” He was sleeping by the time I reached the hatch.
Dr. Uburu faced me in the anteroom. “He ordered me to announce his illness to the ship,” she said. “Rumors are everywhere.”
“I know,” I said. I’d heard some of them.
She smiled warmly. It lighted her face and I was grateful. “I’ll stay up with him tonight.”
“Thank you, ma’am.” I took her nod for a dismissal and left.
In the wardroom the other midshipmen questioned me silently. I had nothing to say to them; there was no way I could tell Vax he was going to make lieutenant, before Captain Malstrom had made up his mind. When the Doctor’s solemn announcement came over the speaker we all listened in silence. Afterward I slapped off the light. None of us spoke.
First thing in the morning I arranged for Sandy to take Vax’s watch. A quick breakfast in the officers’ mess, then I told Vax the Captain wanted to see us in the infirmary.
Dr. Uburu had been dozing at the table in the outer compartment; she woke when we came in. She said the Chief Engineer had already brought the Log chip from the bridge, on Captain Malstrom’s instructions. “He’s awake and wants to see you. He’s not doing too well.” Her tone was glum.
We entered the sickroom, snapping to attention. The Captain was dozing in his bunk. He heard the hatch close, and opened his eyes. “Vax, Nicky, hi,” he said vaguely. The ship’s Log was in the holovid on a small bunkside table, within his reach.
“Good morning, sir,” I said. He didn’t answer. “Captain, we’re here to do what you said last night.”
“I was having dinner,” he said suddenly, loudly.
“When you were taken ill, two nights ago, sir.” I tried to think how to direct him. Vax watched, puzzled. “Captain, last night we talked about Mr. Holser. Do you remember?”
“Yes.” Captain Malstrom smiled at me. “Vax, the bully.” An icicle crept up my spine. I wanted to move to him, but we were still at attention; he hadn’t released us.
I was so desperate I prompted him. “Sir, we talked about Vax’s commission. Don’t you remember?”
He came fully awake. “Nicky.” He studied me. “We talked. I said I would ... make him looey. Of course!” I was weak with relief. He turned to Vax. “Mr. Holser, wait outside while we talk.”
“Aye aye, sir.” Vax spun smartly and left the room.
I took it as permission to move. I took the Log an
d dialed the current page. “Sir, let me help you. I can write; all you have to do is sign.”
Captain Malstrom began to weep. “I’m sorry, Nicky. I guess I have to give it to him. He’s the qualified one. You aren’t. I don’t have a—it’s the only way!”
“I know, sir. I want you to. Here, I’ll write it.” I took the laserpencil. “I, Captain Harvey Malstrom, do commission and appoint Midshipman Vax Stanley Holser lieutenant in the Naval Service of the Government of the United Nations, by the Grace of God.” I knew the words by heart, as did every midshipman.
I handed him the laserpencil. He stared at it, as if it were wild. “Nicky, I don’t feel well.” His face was white.
“Please, sir, just sign, and I’ll get Dr. Uburu. Please.”
He began to tremble. “I ... Nick, I’ve—NICKY!” His head snapped back, his jaw clenched shut. His whole body shivered.
“Dr. Uburu!”
The Doctor came running at my yell. One look and she grabbed for a hypo, filled it from a medicine bottle in the cabinet nearby. “Move, boy!” She shoved me aside and bared his arm. As the hypo plunged, his rigid muscles slowly relaxed. His hand opened. “Give me the Log,” he whispered. But his hand wouldn’t hold the pencil.
I said, “Captain Malstrom, commission him orally! Dr. Uburu is witness!” The way it came out, it sounded like an order.
He muttered something. I couldn’t tell what it was. Then he drifted toward sleep. “This afternoon,” he said clearly, surprising me. “After I rest.” I waited, but his breath came in short rasping sounds. His face was flushed.
I took hold of the Doctor’s arm. I had touched the Captain, now it might as well be Dr. Uburu; I had lost all sense of propriety. I tugged her toward the corner. “Do you realize,” I whispered, “what will happen if he doesn’t commission Vax?”
“Yes,” she said coldly, pulling my hand from her arm.
“He’s got to sign the Log! Will he be able to, this afternoon?”
“Perhaps. I have no way to know.”
“I heard him orally commission Vax. You did too.” I stared her straight in the eye, hoping she would realize what had to be done.
“I heard no such thing,” she said bluntly. “And you are a gentleman by act of the General Assembly. A gentleman does not lie!”
I blushed all the way up to my ears. “Doctor, he has GOT to sign that Log.”
“Then let’s hope he wakes up in condition to do it.” She added, “I agree with you. It’s necessary for the ship’s safety that he sign Vax’s commission.”
“But you won’t ...”
“No, I won’t. And you won’t suggest it again. That is a direct order which you disobey at your peril! Acknowledge it.” She had steel in her. I hadn’t known.
“Aye aye, ma’am. I will not suggest again that Captain orally commissioned Vax. I accept your statement that he did not. Is there anything else, ma’am?”
“Yes, Nick. Duty is sometimes unclear. Right now your duty is to obey the regulations you swore to uphold. All of them. I trust that by the Grace of God the Captain will do what he must. You would do better to pray than to scheme, young man.”
“Yes, ma’am.” She was right.
Vax was waiting outside the sickroom. “What was all that about?” he asked.
We walked back along the corridor toward the wardroom. Now he had a right to know. “I asked the Captain to commission you lieutenant. He said he would do it this morning. I wrote it out in the Log for him.”
“And?”
“He hasn’t signed it. He’s disoriented. I asked Dr. Uburu to agree that he had commissioned you orally, but she said he hadn’t. In truth, he had not.”
Vax took my arm. There was a lot of touching going on in Hibernia. “Why did you want him to?”
“Vax, what the hell happens when the Captain dies? Do you expect me to try to run the ship?”
I don’t think it had occurred to him until that moment. It had only occurred to me two days ago. “Oh, my God.”
“And mine.” We locked eyes. “We’ll come back in a couple of hours. He’ll sign it. He has to.” We walked the rest of the way in uneasy silence.
After lunch we returned to the infirmary. At my request Chief McAndrews also came. The Doctor, the Chief, Vax, and I waited in the sickroom for the Captain to awaken. He slept fitfully, tossing and turning. The silence in the brightly lit room grew unbearable.
Hours passed. “Is there anything you can give him?” I asked Dr. Uburu. “Some sort of stimulant?”
“Yes. If I want to kill him,” she growled. “His systems are closing down. He can’t take much.”
“He’s got to wake up long enough to sign the Log, or at least tell us orally!”
She shook her head, but after a while she loaded a syringe and gave Captain Malstrom an injection. Chief McAndrews sat near the bed; the Doctor was at a table close by. Vax stood stolidly against the bulkhead; I paced with increasing nervousness.
“Nicky.” The Captain’s eyes were open and riveted on me.
“Yes, sir.” I hurried over to the bed. I picked up the holovid with the Log.
The Captain swallowed with difficulty. As I came closer he squinted to keep me in focus. “‘Nicky ... you’re my son,” he said weakly.
“What?” My voice squeaked. I couldn’t have heard right. I leaned close.
He raised a hand and touched my cheek. His breathing was ragged. “You’ve been ... a son to me. I never had another.”
“Oh, God!” It was too much for me; I wept. He touched me again; his hand moved uncertainly in front of my face before it found me. “I’m dying,” he said, with wonder.
Hating myself, I said urgently, “Sir, do your duty! Tell Chief McAndrews and Dr. Uburu that Vax is a lieutenant. Tell them.”
“My son,” he said, dropping his hand. He stopped breathing. I turned frantically to the Doctor but the Captain’s breath caught again in a ragged gasp. He stared at me, his face an unhealthy blue. Understanding slowly left his eyes and they closed.
Dr. Uburu started intravenous liquids. While we waited helplessly, they dripped into his arm in the age-old manner. The Captain lay unconscious, his mouth ajar.
“Do something. With all your machinery, help him!” My words were a demand.
“I can’t!” she spat. “I can pump his heart for him; I can even replace it. I can oxygenate his blood just as his lungs do. I can purify his blood with dialysis. I can even replicate his liver. We’re talented, aren’t we? But I can’t do all those things at once. He’s dying! The poor man’s insides are rotten; he’s like an overripe melon about to split open. The melanoma’s everywhere.”
She stopped for breath, her fury nailing me to the bulkhead. “He’s got it in his stomach, his liver, his lungs, his colon. His sight is going from an optic tumor. It’s as bad as T can get. Sometimes—only once in a while, thank God—it grows so fast you can see it. Do something? DO SOMETHING? I can stay with him to wish him into Yahweh’s hands. That’s what I can do!” Her cheeks were wet.
“And I can let him go in peace and privacy.” Chief McAndrews got heavily to his feet. “Nick, stay with him. If he rallies he’ll sign it. Or he’ll tell Dr. Uburu as witness. There’s no use my staying.” He left.
“Vax, will you stay with me?”
Vax Holser, his pent-up emotions roiling, glared at me with such fury as I have never seen from another man. He twice opened his mouth to speak. Then he stalked out in a passion, slamming the hatch shut.
I stayed in the infirmary during evening mess, in the chair the Chief had vacated. The Captain’s breathing varied, sometimes regular and deep, sometimes ragged. Late in the evening Dr. Uburu slipped an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. She introduced vapormeds into the oxygen mixture; I couldn’t tell if they helped. She sent the med tech to the galley for a tray for me. I ate in my chair, never taking my eyes from the still form in the bunk.
“I’ll watch him, Nicky,” she said after I began to doze. “Go to bed.”
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br /> “Let me stay.” It was somewhere between a demand and a plea. Perhaps she understood from my eyes. She nodded. She checked the alarms on the bedside monitors and retired to the anteroom. I dozed, came awake, and dozed again. The bright lights accented the stillness. Finally I curled up in the chair and slept.
I woke toward morning, to realize the labored sounds of his breathing had stopped. I called Dr. Uburu; she came and stood next to me by his still form under the clean white sheet.
“The alarms. Why didn’t they ...”
“I turned them off.” She answered my look of betrayal. “I could do nothing more for him. Except let him go in peace.”
Stunned, I sank back into the chair. I don’t know how long I sat there alone; I got up mechanically when I heard the change of watch after breakfast. I went out into the anteroom where Dr. Uburu waited.
She got to her feet. “I’m going to meet with the Chief and Pilot Haynes.” I didn’t answer.
I left the infirmary, followed the corridor to the wardroom, passing someone on the way. Sandy and Alexi were inside; Alexi, just off watch, was in his bed. Sandy stood as I entered.
“Out, both of you.” They scrambled to the hatch. I pulled off my jacket and lay on my bunk. My head spun, but sleep evaded me. I heard noises in the corridor. I tried to block them out, could not. I lay awake in a stupor.
Hours later Alexi knocked on the hatch. “Mr. Seafort—”
“Stay out until I give you permission to enter!”
“Aye aye, sir.” The hatch shut.
I buried my head in the pillow, hoping for tears. None came.
I awoke later in the day with an intense thirst. I got up, found my jacket, went to the head. As I slopped water from my hand to my mouth I studied my reflection in the mirror. My hair was wild; there were hollows under my eyes. My expression was frightening.
I splashed cold water on my face and went back to the wardroom. I dressed in clean clothes and combed my hair. Then I went below to the ship’s library on Level 2, where I signed out the holovid chips for the Naval Regulations and Code of Conduct, Revision of 2087. I took them back to the wardroom and sat on my bunk.
Midshipman's Hope (The Seafort Saga Book 1) Page 10
