by Maggie Cox
Lily swallowed hard. To be honest, she felt sick. To her mind it didn’t sound appealing at all. She wouldn’t and couldn’t be satisfied with such a cold arrangement—even if it meant she would have support for her baby. It still made her blood turn to ice when she remembered Marc’s deception and her travesty of a wedding night.
‘So, in effect, we’re destined to be alone even if we live together as husband and wife?’ she commented. ‘I mean, not to have even the smallest bit of comfort from our union sounds like a rather cold bargain to me.’
‘I’m not suggesting we won’t be intimate. Some things are fundamental. Do you think I would deny us the opportunity of enjoying one of the most incredible comforts of all—that which brought us together in the first place? I confess I couldn’t be with you and live without it.’
She knew her face must have immediately turned scarlet. Yet knowing she felt the same as he did terrified her—because how could she not engage her feelings if they were to make love regularly?
‘Tomorrow evening,’ he declared suddenly. ‘Shall we say around eight?’
Dumbfounded, she stared as he headed straight to the front door.
He didn’t look back at her even once.
Instead he let the door slam shut.
The discordant sound seemed to reverberate around her body, and she had the sense that she was standing on a precipice, wrestling with the decision whether to jump or simply to turn back and accept whatever came next...
* * *
Bastian had decided to walk to his dad’s place rather than drive the car. Having been cooped up in boardrooms and planes for long enough, he needed to breathe in some fresh air. Now, on his way back to the olive groves, the most pertinent thing on his mind was the knowledge that he was going to be a father.
It hardly seemed real. Ever since he’d heard the news Bastian had felt as though he were in a dream. It had been one of his greatest desires to become a father eventually, but he had shelved the idea a long time ago, after his ex, Marissa, had so heartlessly cheated on him.
There was an aching loneliness inside him that had been there since he was small, when even his dad hadn’t been able to fill the gap. He’d realised he was mourning his mother more and more, even though he hadn’t known her, and the feeling had been made worse by sometimes hearing his strong father weeping sorrowfully at night, when he’d thought Bastian was asleep.
When he was a little boy, he’d once asked him, ‘Do you still miss Mamma...what was she like?’
He’d never forgotten his father’s reply.
‘Your mamma was like one of God’s own angels, my son. A more beautiful or kind woman never walked the earth, and I will never forget her. It is my greatest regret that she left this life too soon.’
Ever since Marissa had so badly let him down Bastian had kept his personal desires—the things he really longed for—scrupulously to himself. But one thing he’d always believed was that every child deserved parents who were trustworthy, loving and loyal, and he’d vowed that when he did marry it would be to a woman who unquestionably had all of those exemplary qualities and more...
A light breeze ruffled his hair as he walked, and now that the blossoms on the trees had faded the strong aroma of the olive groves drifted towards him. It not only gave him the greatest satisfaction that their produce had given him and his family so much, but he felt as if he was a custodian of what had once been one of the most symbolic plants of ancient Rome.
One day he would teach his children the history of the groves and the symbolism of the olive branches. In his mind’s eye he was already seeing the features of his first child. He imagined that he or she would be a perfect blend of himself and their mother, and he would never forget that it was his and Lily’s extraordinary passion that had given them this chance to bring another human being into the world and hopefully oversee a healthy and happy future for them.
Even if their union had been anything but planned...
By the time he reached his father’s kitchen his nostrils had scented the aroma of one of his favourite pasta dishes cooking, and he saw the older man standing at the free-standing range cooker with their housekeeper, Dolores, laughing at something she’d said as she stirred the sauce.
Bastian had already decided he wouldn’t tell him straight away that he was going to be a grandfather, but would save the news until after he and Lily had started to make their wedding plans. But he couldn’t help his heart racing nineteen to the dozen in anticipation of his father’s reaction when he heard the news.
‘Got another serving for the favourite son?’ he joked.
Her dark hair now generously peppered with grey, Dolores turned round fast, her brown eyes brimming with pleasure. In her early seventies now, she was still an attractive woman.
‘As usual, you have perfect timing, mi querido. Of course there is another plate for you!’
‘The boy needs his own woman to feed him,’ Alberto grumbled playfully. ‘Then he won’t have to come home all the time to eat.’
‘You would hate it if I didn’t come home from time to time—you know you would. And when I marry I intend for my wife to also come and enjoy your food.’
His father’s bushy eyebrows shot up into his hairline. ‘Are you telling me that you’ve met someone?’
‘I don’t want to get your hopes up, Father. It’s like I’ve always said—nothing will happen on that score until the time is right.’
The other man expelled an exasperated breath. ‘What does that mean? Do you always have to be so enigmatic?’
Unable to hold back his laughter, Bastian realised it felt good to connect with his parent on something other than work. It made him remember all the good times they’d shared when he was a child—how with just a teasing phrase or two and a gentle good humour his father would put right everything that was troubling him and restore some calm. Even when things had been strained, they’d always ended on a high note.
‘You have only yourself to blame for that,’ he responded cheerfully. ‘You always taught me to keep my cards close to my chest, to keep people guessing.’
‘What is that French word I’m looking for?’ With an ironic smile Alberto thoughtfully stroked his beard. ‘I have it...touché.’
Saying nothing, Dolores gave him one of her looks and decisively moved across to a generously filled cabinet and reached for some dinner plates. Then she turned round and said to the younger man, ‘Instead of just standing there looking pretty, Bastian Carrera, why don’t you help me to lay the table?’
Making a mock salute, Bastian grinned. ‘But of course, signora. Who am I to argue with my elders?’
The housekeeper picked up a dishtowel and threw it at him.
CHAPTER FIVE
LILY HAD BEEN on tenterhooks all day, waiting for Bastian to arrive. Even applying herself to her illustrations hadn’t helped to still her mind and drown out the racing thoughts that crowded in on her like an encroaching storm.
Finally giving up on her attempts to work, she’d busied herself with cleaning the house from top to bottom, even though it didn’t need it. At least it would give her the satisfaction of knowing that Bastian would see that she cared about these things and didn’t always have her head in the clouds, dreaming.
At a quarter to eight she ran into her bedroom to change out of the loose cotton shirt and jeans she wore into something she considered more ‘in keeping’ for the coming interview. Her choice was a prettily patterned sleeveless dress with lilacs on it. She’d bought it on the day her divorce had been finalised as a symbol of starting her life over again.
Unwinding her scrunched-up topknot, she brushed out her tousled hair to leave it lying loose against her bare shoulders. After that she applied the merest hint of make-up and sprayed a little of her favourite perfume behind her ears and on her wrists.
Her teeth worried at her li
p as she checked her reflection in the mirror. It didn’t really matter what she wore, she decided. It couldn’t prevent her from looking like someone who’d pinched the last chocolate biscuit in the tin and felt guilty about it. As if to illustrate the fact, her cheeks were reddening even before Bastian arrived.
But there was no more time to take stock of things when the sudden pounding on the front door announced his arrival. Taking a deep breath in, she deliberately made her descent down the stairs a slow one. The last thing she wanted him to imagine was that she was in any way eager for this meeting.
But, opening the door, Lily felt her breath all but cease when she found herself confronted by nothing less than what was surely the most beautiful man on earth.
Wearing a white cambric shirt open at the neck and dark jeans, his hair naturally tousled, he gave her a slow, toe-curling smile. ‘Buonasera, Lily... I trust you’ve been expecting me?’
‘Your prompt arrival is no surprise, if that’s what you mean, signor?’
His gaze moved up and down her figure in the pretty lilac dress, not disguising the fact that he very much liked what he saw. ‘Am I really so predictable, mia dolcezza?’
Dry-mouthed, she opened the door wider. ‘You’d better come in.’
The simple Italian endearment had thrown her. Sucking in another steadying breath, she closed the door behind him and led the way into the living room. Before they sat down she saw his glance go to the bottle of red wine she’d left on the coffee table, alongside one of the cut-crystal wine glasses she’d found in a kitchen cabinet.
He frowned. ‘The wine isn’t for you, I take it?’
‘Of course not—is it likely that I’d drink alcohol in my condition?’
‘I’m glad you would not.’
Bastian meaningfully held her gaze for perhaps longer than was necessary. Deliberately drawing her glass of orange juice towards her, Lily couldn’t help but gulp some down as she lowered herself into the armchair.
It didn’t help cool her temperature one iota.
‘The wine is for you.’
‘How thoughtful of you—shall I pour?’
‘Why don’t you let me do it? After all, you’re my guest.’
As he sat down opposite her on the tasteful sea-green couch, Lily couldn’t help wincing when she remembered what had happened the last time he’d occupied similar seating in her living room...
Was the same thought going through his mind?
Quickly quashing the speculation, she deftly took out the cork that she’d removed earlier in readiness and carefully poured the ruby-red wine into his glass.
Leaning forward, he picked up the bottle to examine the label. Inclining his head in a gesture of approval, he commented, ‘I see that you have very good taste in wine, Lily.’
Collecting her orange juice again, she clutched the glass even more tightly. ‘I have to say that’s high praise, coming from an Italian.’
After trying some of the wine, he remarked, ‘But we are not alone in creating good wine. Many countries produce wine of exceptional quality these days. Anyway, moving on...we have something much more important to discuss, si?’
‘I agree. Why don’t you start us off?’ she invited, her mouth immediately drying again in anticipation of what he might say.
She hadn’t forgotten that he wanted to make their arrangement one of convenience, rather than because his feelings for her had grown.
‘We need to discuss when our marriage will take place. My suggestion is that it should be quite soon.’
‘So you’re still set on marrying me, then?’
Immediately he positioned himself in front of her, and his unsettling glance challenged her.
‘Do you really think I would have changed my mind over something this important? When you get to know me better you’ll learn that I am a man of my word and that I always follow through on what I say.’
‘Even if the other person involved isn’t sure she agrees with you?’
‘Seeing as you are still so unsure, Lily... I will just have to be sure for both of us.’
‘How fortunate that you don’t seem to doubt yourself.’
With an amused lift of his eyebrows he remarked, ‘I have something else to say that will hopefully set your mind at rest. I have no intention of leaving you to manage the childcare on your own. I will hire us the best nanny I can find. And, as for parental occasions, I fully intend to be a supportive presence as often as I can. In fact I’ll do my utmost to be there whenever you or my children need me. In conclusion, I will make a very good life for you all.’
His companion blinked in astonishment. ‘You said children? It sounds like you’ve assumed we’ll have more than one child together?’
His lips shaped into the most seductive and shameless grin known to woman.
‘I do not assume anything. I merely speak from knowing how it is between us. Do you expect me to act as if I don’t desire you?’
As he spoke Bastian removed her glass from between her fingers and drew her up onto her feet. It seemed as though in that moment the sound of her racing heartbeat drowned out any other sound. Already her blood was moving like molten lava as it throbbed sluggishly through her veins.
‘Marriage isn’t just about desire, though, is it?’ she breathed huskily. ‘It’s about...it’s about...’
Anything more she wanted to say was crushed into silence by his lips hungrily laying claim to hers. When his hot silken tongue swept inside the velvet landscape of her mouth she couldn’t deny she’d been aching for his touch from the moment she’d seen him again.
Her response was automatic. She didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around him and feel the strength of his hard-honed muscles so close to the surface under his shirt. So intense were her feelings that they dangerously threatened to sweep away every last bit of common sense she possessed. She found herself forgetting everything but the joy of knowing he didn’t easily want to let her go, and the memory of their urgent sensual coupling inevitably made her eager to experience more of the same.
But then, just as though she’d suddenly been blinded by the sun, she dizzyingly came to her senses. In the next instant she found herself firmly pushing him away.
Her lover’s deep brown eyes looked bemused. ‘Are you intent on pretending that you don’t want this?’ he drawled.
‘I’m not trying to pretend anything.’ Abruptly, she folded her arms. ‘It’s just that we shouldn’t give in to our carnal desires so easily. It’s already had a serious consequence.’
‘I don’t just want your body, Lily. Didn’t you hear me when I said I intend to marry you?’
She sighed. ‘I heard. I also heard that you don’t want a real marriage, but one of convenience. That doesn’t make my decision any easier. It’s a decision that will undoubtedly affect both our lives, and I need to know I’m doing the right thing. I’ve already told you that I made one huge mistake in marrying a man I didn’t really know, and I don’t want to make another. Especially not when I’m having a child.’
His expression fierce, Bastian compelled her to look at him. ‘This is my child too, Lily—don’t forget that.’
Startled by his possessive tone, she honestly didn’t know what to do right then. Her senses were in turmoil. Yet she knew she didn’t want a man who regarded her as some kind of possession and in so doing didn’t consider her feelings. After what had happened with Marc she’d be a fool to forget that Bastian wasn’t interested in having a more meaningful relationship. He’d already told her he wasn’t expecting a romantic attachment...
Seeking distraction, she started to walk away towards the kitchen, thinking to calm herself by bringing in the snacks she’d prepared earlier.
However, her charismatic guest had other ideas.
Lightly catching her arm, he said, his tone more thoughtful than it had been previously, ‘I rea
lise that perhaps I should have made you a proper proposal. As yet, I know I haven’t given you that. To make things right between us, I’m asking you now, Lily. Will you marry me?’
‘I’ve already told you this isn’t easy for me to decide.’
He blew out a frustrated breath. ‘Look... I’ll be frank with you. When I was younger I was briefly engaged to a woman I thought myself in love with. Clearly not feeling the same, she betrayed me with a colleague. To add insult to injury, I found them in bed together—in my flat. I’d given her a key so she could let herself in. After that...’ He shrugged and glanced away. ‘After that I vowed I would never entertain the idea of having a serious relationship again.’
‘That must have hurt. But what did you do after that? Ensure that your relationships were platonic?’
‘Not quite—after all, I’m only human.’ A corner of his mouth drew up into his cheek in amusement. ‘But, returning to my proposal, I will ask you once again, Lily. Will you agree to marry me and be my wife?’
Hot colour surged into her face. ‘I’m still uncertain, Bastian. This is just too serious to decide on quickly.’
‘Marriage is a serious thing, I agree. But, like I said before, if we explicitly set out the terms of our contract we’ll both know what we can and can’t expect from one another and therefore we’re unlikely to be disappointed.’
‘You sound so certain that we’ll be able to stick to the terms...’
‘I am.’
Even as she listened to him Lily knew the time for deliberating further was gone. A person could think on a subject for far too long and just end up feeling hopelessly confused. And in the meantime her baby’s wellbeing and future was at stake.
‘I have to put my child’s welfare before my own,’ she said solemnly, ‘so I guess my answer has to be yes, Bastian. I will agree to marry you and be your wife.’
Seeing satisfaction light his eyes, she experienced a genuine surge of pleasure at making the right decision for once.
But just after she’d given him her reply doubts once again started to besiege her...
