by Mj Fields
It was also yesterday that I received a letter from Steel Incorporated offering me an internship and a job after graduating from college as a public relations coordinator. I also received a personal note from Carly, Abe’s cousin, asking me to consider it. She also mentioned that she wanted me to meet her child.
Today I wanted to go to Italy because I received a text from Abe telling me Bogart was reassigned to a mailroom in Utah for a sister company of The Shore and that he wouldn’t dare step foot back in New Jersey. Being in Italy put an ocean between him and me. For some reason that was a comfort. Abe also said it was time for me to come home and it scared me because I knew how long it took me to get over the hurt Steve caused and I had hurt Abe.
He was right, I wasn’t me. I lost me for a while but she was back or as close to back as she could be. It scared me that he knew that before I did. Part of me was afraid that no amount of apologies would make things okay with us and no amount of “I love you’s” would make him see that I trusted him, I trusted him more than I trusted myself.
I sat on the porch looking at the wind blow through the trees, as the scent of the blooms on the dogwood tress would disappear.
“Sugar plum, what are you thinking about?” Granny came out in the porch, handed me a glass of sweet tea, and a piece of corn bread.
“Trust.”
“Trust, huh?”
“Complete trust.”
“Very rare thing, sugar plum.”
“Yeah.”
“You miss that boy don’t you?”
“Like crazy. But I said some unkind things before he shipped me back here.”
“Fix it.”
“Good Lord, Gran, don’t let Mom and Dad hear you say that.”
“Oh, they’d be fine.”
“Gran.”
“Okay, eventually they’d get over it. But ask yourself this, sugar plum, will you ever get over it if you don’t go see? If you never put yourself out there could you ever really move forward?”
“I don’t have a clue.”
She stood up and kissed my head, “Don’t wait too long.”
***
I hopped out of the cab in front of the baseball field and felt butterflies in my stomach. I truly felt like I might get sick. I sat down at a bench farthest away from the game as I could. I held the ball cap little Bella had given me a month ago. The night I told Abe O’Donnell that I loved him and two days before he sent me away. I grabbed my phone and sent my mother a text telling her that I was in New Jersey and that I was fine.
The scoreboard showed a tie game and it was the bottom of the ninth. Two outs and O’Donnell was up to bat. He swung twice and missed, just like he did at the last game. Then he hit it hard. The ball flew past center and kept on going.
Without thinking, I stood up and whistled loud but I didn’t think there was any way he didn’t hear me from here. As he rounded second, he looked in my direction. When he slid into home he was called out, but with three RBIs, they’d won. I watched from a distance as he picked up the beautiful Bella and swung her around. I watched them start to pick up the equipment and decided to head to the pub.
I walked fast hoping to make it there before he did. His vehicle passed me. I walked around the corner as Abe and three women got out laughing.
I stopped and turned around. My heart raced as I walked fast until I made it around the corner. Once I knew they wouldn’t see me, I leaned against the wall and tried to talk myself out of calling a cab and going right back to the airport.
I can’t believe I thought a man like him would wait. I couldn’t believe I was so stupid to think that after not returning his texts, calling him, thanking him, simply acknowledging him he would wait for me to stop being, I don’t know, a freaking freak.
I slid down the wall and sat crying into my knees as I tried to decide what to do. When I looked up a very pensive looking Abe was standing in front of me glowering.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come. Go back, pretend I wasn’t here. Ignore the crazy woman,” I stood, brushed off my backside, and turned to walk the other way.
“Stop!”
I did, but I didn’t turn around.
“I need a cab on the corner of Smith and Donaldson. Abe O’Donnell. Yes, thank you.”
I took a deep breath and turned around, “You played well. Two run RBI and won the game. It was a great hit.”
He looked past me up the street.
“I’m sorry.”
He nodded. At least he gave me some sort of encouragement.
“Did you call the cab to take me somewhere? Back to the airport, maybe? Abe, please say something. I’m dying here and I have been for a few weeks now. I’ll understand if you’ve moved on. I won’t cause any problems just—”
“Nikolette, I have to go back to the bar and celebrate a victory with my team. The women with me needed a ride from the field. He reached up and waved to the cab. “You’re going to my place, going to my bedroom and locking yourself in there. Do not, I repeat, do not unlock it if I knock. We will discuss this tomorrow after I get home from work.”
“Abe?”
“Yes.”
“I was scared and depressed okay? A lot happened. Nothing like that has ever happened to me before and I am still a bit uneasy,” I covered my face and shuddered, trying not to cry. “I don’t want to be alone, but I understand.” I batted away my tears. “I love you. I trust you. I need you, and I want you. But don’t punish me by not talking to me. This was hard, you know. Coming here was hard, so if you don’t want me here, just tell me now.”
He looked at me with no expression whatsoever, “Please, do as I ask. Go to my place and get something to eat and go to sleep.”
I looked away from him, but did as he asked. I got in the cab and rode to his place.
Unlocked
Abe
It was an early night, thank God, because I needed to deal with Nikolette tomorrow, which meant I needed to sleep tonight.
I pulled in just after nine and walked up the stairs from the garage. There were candles lit leading from the kitchen up the stairs to my bedroom. So much for the door being locked. She was fucking trouble.
When I reached the top of the stairs I saw her sitting on her heels naked, on the floor with her palms on her thighs and legs spread.
“Nikolette, what are you doing?”
“Waiting for you to do whatever you need to in order to forgive me.”
“This isn’t what I want with you, Nikolette. Stand up, please.”
She stood and looked away.
“Come on, get in bed.”
“Will you be getting in bed with me?”
“Nikki, you’re butt ass naked, explain to me how the hell I am gonna be anywhere but in bed with you.”
“Are you drunk?”
“No, I had two beers and then.” I stopped, “Please get in bed.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck, and fuck again, even more beautiful than I remember, but no more whole. This wouldn’t be an easy fix. It would be hard work, but I knew we were worth it.
She climbed onto the bed and I pulled the blankets over her.
“Nikki, I’m very upset that you never told me when you got home, that you never replied to any of my texts, that you didn’t tell me you were coming home. But I am glad you are home. We have a lot to work on. I love you no less than before and I am going to shower because I stink and when I’m on top of you I don’t want to smell like a sweaty ass baseball player.”
I bent down and was ready to kiss her, but stopped just before my lips touched hers. “I missed you.”
“I was mad at you and I shouldn’t have been.”
“I love you.”
“Then please either get in here or go shower.”
I got in the shower and was washing my hair when she walked in. I didn’t say a word, she just walked straight into me. I bent down and took her mouth, surrounding it with mine. I sucked on her lips and she pulled back. I bent down to her tits and kissed them, sucked t
hem, and bit them. She pushed harder against me asking for more and I sucked harder. She leaned back and kissed down my body. She got close to my rock-hard cock and moved slowly down, capturing it between her tits. Her tongue darted out and she licked off my head, swallowing the pearl that had formed on the tip, and then she sat back on her heels.
“Sit, please.” She pointed to the built-in shower ledge.
I wasn’t gonna argue.
She wrapped her hand around my throbbing erection and slowly stroked me up and down. She bowed her head and ran her tongue across its head.
“Fuck…” I hissed, taking her head in my hand, guiding her down again. She opened her mouth wider, taking me as far as she could.
“That’s it, baby,” I guided her head up and down my throbbing cock.
“You are doing fucking amazing, Nikki, that’s it baby, fuck yes.”
She moved up and down faster, and I fisted her hair tighter.
“Damn baby, suck me harder.”
She continued bobbing faster and faster along my length.
“I’m not gonna last, Nikki, it’s been a long fucking time.”
She didn’t stop. I looked down into her hungry eyes and felt my cock twitch in her mouth.
She opened wide and stuck out her tongue, begging for my cum, as she continued stroking me until I was bone fucking dry.
“I’ve wanted to do that to you for a very long time. Did I do okay?”
“Oh yeah?” I leaned down and kissed her as I played with her nipple.
“I like how you taste.” She moaned as she pushed into my hand.
“You’re next.”
I picked her up, walked out of the bathroom, and laid her on my bed.
My mouth descended down her body and she was already squirming. I kissed her belly and then went lower. I licked her sweet pussy in slow gently strokes, caressing, teasing and making her pussy become even slicker as I teased her outer lips.
She quivered as my tongue split her open, going deeper. Her knees tensed and I wrapped my lips around her slick lips and sucked gently. She moaned as my tongue plunged deeper.
“Damn,” I groaned and rubbed my nose across her hardening tender spot.
“Oh my God,” she whimpered.
I licked her harder and deeper ravaging her as she fell apart. I slowed, tugged at her with my teeth, and she screamed out as her pussy clenched. I did it repeatedly until her body had had enough.
I slid up, lay beside her, and pulled her hair away from her face.
“I love you, Nikolette. Don’t you ever leave again.”
“I won’t. Ever.”
“Get some rest, I’m gonna be needing you again soon.”
Epilogue
It had been two weeks since I found Nikolette Bassett sitting against the building after the softball game and crying. The same girl who I found so captivating in Florida, who left me with a note, the girl who walked into my office a week later with poise and confidence and a ere about her that not only drew me to her but pushed me away.
I, Abe O’Donnell, a man who fell into the life I had dreamed of since starting NYU, had been chipped. I was the master of my own part of the universe and dominated every part of it. I never took anything for granted and methodically planned every move, in business and my personal life, until Nikki.
Allowing her into my life went against my better judgment from the moment she followed me in her car and cause me to be carjacked. But some things cannot be helped. She would not allow me to avoid her. She knew what she wanted and went after me hard to get it. That was my weakness, a woman who was so strong on her own, yet so willing to submit.
You see, people have a misconception about the true nature of the D/s relationship. They think they can just become a role, like it’s a fucking game you play or a choice you make. But it’s not. Something happens in your life to pull you into one of two directions. Neither role is weak, yet both were needy.
Nikki was doing a great job as our PR girl at Steel Inc. It gave her the credits she needs to graduate and a glimpse of what she could do fulltime after school if she wanted too. If she decided not to continue at Steel Inc. after graduation, I will do what I can to help her pursue sports journalism, although I would sway her away from male-dominated sports if I could. Regardless of the path she chooses, I want her happy and strong as much as I wanted my next release.
She and Carly are very close, both have a “sexy smart girl” persona, and both of them loved to read. Love may not even be a strong enough word to describe it. They were obsessed, and together with the three other ladies I met in Florida, they had an online book club that allowed them to obsess over books and authors they loved. I liked that she had a little something to focus on besides me. But her job, friends and book club was enough because I wanted her to myself as much as I could get her.
We sat in the car on our way home from the office. I was driving and Nikki was busy typing away on her iPad when she stopped to look out the window.
“Everything okay?” I took her hand and kissed it.
“Not everything.”
She smiled but didn’t look at me. I let it go for a few minutes and then being me, well I needed to know.
“Nikki, remember this doesn’t work without—”
“Complete trust, I know.”
“Good girl. Then let’s have it.”
“You can’t get mad.”
“Well I can but I’ll try not to.” Frankly, I was a little worried about what she was going to say.
“When did you start being this way?”
“Handsome? Intelligent? Great in bed?”
“Modest.” She laughed and then looked at me. “I think for me, when I felt broken by betrayal, I let it make me who I was. I was a giver. I was naïve. I was going to be alone and it was fine. I had a great family and friends. But deep down, I felt like an idiot, that I would always be everyone’s—”
“Don’t talk about yourself like that, Nikolette. You are—”
“Let me finish.”
“My apologies.”
“When I met you, you didn’t see me for what I was to everyone else, or more specifically you didn’t see me how I saw myself. You saw what I wanted you to see.”
“Who you really are inside.”
“Yes I know that now. You made me realize that it was all right to be needy. That it didn’t mean I was weak because I let you have your way. You make me feel beautiful, sexy, and strong.”
“That’s what I see when I see you. Even though everything—”
“Let’s not kid ourselves here, Mr. O’Donnell, I’ve been a bit broken for a while now.”
“Bent, not broken. Even still, you’re on the mend, which goes to prove I’m right. You’re strong, Nikki.”
She smiled and nodded. “I’ve been working on it, thanks to you I feel safe and loved.”
“Adored.”
“Yep.”
“Sexy, so god damn sexy.”
Her cheeks flushed and she nodded.
“So sexy I am gonna take you home and ravage your body all night. And since you’re so strong, you’re gonna let me torment, tease, inflict a bit of pain that will intensify the pleasure and—”
“Let me finish?”
“If I must.”
“Do you know when your loss of control was taken over by control?”
“Excuse me?” I chuckled.
“The moment that control became so important to you. That loss of control that was taken over by control?”
“When I decided I wouldn’t have my life chaos?”
“I like my phrasing better, but yes, that’s exactly what I mean.”
“Probably forever? I think I was born wanting everything just so.”
“Or you were raised with everything just so.”
“As were you, I assume. Being only children.”
She took a deep breath, “I love you and I know you know that. I will do anything you ask, be anyone you want me to be—”
“
I just want you to be you.”
She looked out the window again. “We had a conversation awhile back, about your mother. I think that’s when.”
My mother. It had been a few weeks since I had seen her.
“No. That’s not it.”
“It’s part of it.”
“Nikolette—”
“Nikki, and I want you to think about it, that’s all. While thinking about it, do so with the understanding that nothing will change for me. But it might for you.”
I pulled into the house and tapped in the code.
We walked inside hand-in-hand without words. I gave her a kiss and headed upstairs to change, I needed to work out, blow off some steam, and think about the seed she had planted.
An hour and forty-five minutes later, I was done. I was sore, tired, and yes, a bit emotionally drained.
When I walked up the stairs, Nikki was in the kitchen. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I gave her a kiss on the cheek and grabbed a glass out of the cupboard to get some water. “You wanna meet her?”
“Your mother?”
“Yes.”
“Of course I do, but when you’re ready.”
“I’m gonna shower, then we’ll go. Then well go grab some dinner. Sound good?”
She smiled and nodded her head.
***
We walked into Mom’s room. It was evening ,and things were quiet, thank God.
I went over to her bed, bent down, and kissed her head. “Hello, Mom, it’s me, Abe. I want you to meet someone who is pretty special to me.”
I held my hand out and Nikki walked over. “This is Nikolette Bassett. Nikolette Bassett, this is my mother, Margaret.”
Nikolette shocked me when she bent over and kissed her head. “Very nice to meet you, Mrs. O’Donnell. I want you to know your son, Abe, is very special to me as well. In fact, I love him. I love every complicated and uncomplicated side of him.” She sat on the bed beside her, held her hand, and just kept talking to her. I swear my heart swelled in my chest to the point that if it didn’t feel so good it may actually ache. “I’ve wondered about you, you know? Wondered who could be responsible for raising such a gentleman. I have met your husband and he is very kind. Now that I have met you and after hearing the story of your struggle and seeing the strength you must have for fighting to stay with your family, I’m even more in awe of you, and your son. You see, if he is half as strong as you, we can get through anything life throws at us. I wish you could give me your blessing and that you could see how genuine I am and just how deeply in love with your son I am. I promise I will make him happy for as long as he wants me in his life. He’s helped me a lot. He’s helped me realize who I am and he’s helped me realize that I can trust and love again. So thank you for that.”
