Although the island wasn’t the size of a village, it was large enough to get away from everyone. I went to the other side and found a spot to rest under a cluster of trees near the edge of a small cliff. I hadn’t ventured out that far before, but I was glad I did. It was the perfect spot to be alone, and it had a beautiful view of the harbor in the distance. I sat against the tree and thought about how I wanted to be someplace else. I wasn’t happy anymore. Ayden hated me; Heath thought I was nothing than a troublesome little girl. Daddy and Momma had each other. There seemed to be no use for me anywhere. I imagined myself taking the boat to the mainland and running away. For sure, no one would miss me for long. Maybe Daddy and Momma would for a short time.
As I began to plan my disappearance, I recalled the sailor from the tavern and remembered the warnings Daddy had given me about strange men. Could I be all alone out there in the world? Would I be free from harm? I believed I could take a chance, and would that very night. I thought about what I would put in the letter I planned to leave behind. I would tell Momma and Daddy that I loved them. I would write that I hoped Ayden soon recovered. I would thank Edward and Opal Dalton for their warm welcome when we first arrived on Jasper Island. Then I would say I was sorry to Heath for making him so angry at me.
I remained quiet at supper and didn’t eat much of anything. Momma noticed and asked if I was ill.
“No, Momma. I’m fine,” I said, and asked to be excused. She stood and came over to feel the top of my head.
“Is she with fever?” Opal asked.
Daddy stopped eating and looked at me with concern.
“I’m fine, really,” I insisted. “I’m just a little tired.”
Heath had arrived late for supper. He had been reading to Ayden. As soon as he sat, Opal went to care for Ayden.
“You can go,” Daddy said, and I left the table without looking at Heath.
It didn’t take me long to pack a small leather bag I found in Daddy’s room. I would bring only one dress, an extra pair of stockings, and my favorite book—the one Heath gave me.
As nightfall approached, I began my letter, and when I finished, I waited until Daddy was up in the tower and Momma had fallen asleep. It was around midnight when I quietly snuck out. The night was especially cold, and I no longer had my shawl. It must have washed away the night I left it on the shore, the night Heath told me to go away. I shivered, my bag in hand, as I made my way past the houses. I would take the smaller of the two boats and row out to the mainland. I had a note in the boat, explaining who it belonged to, and asking whoever found it that it be returned at their earliest convenience. I had only rowed a few times, when Daddy would sit me on his lap and allow me to use the oars.
On this night, the waters were rather calm and the moon was three-quarters, with just enough moonlight to allow me to make my way off the island. When the rowboat was in sight, I stopped to gaze back at the house one last time, then sighed and turned to walk. Just then, someone grabbed my arm. As I went to scream, my mouth was covered, and panic filled my entire body, then Heath whispered his name.
“It’s only me, Heath” he said, then took his hand off my mouth. It took me a moment to calm down then anger took over.
“Why did you frighten me, Heath Dalton?”
He stood before me with his coat and hat on and my shawl draped over his arm. “Here, you might need this for your trip,” he said, extending the shawl to me. How had he known I was running away?
“I won’t need my shawl. I will be just fine without it,” I said defiantly.
Heath rested the shawl on a large rock then said, “Can I go with you?”
What did he mean? I didn’t understand. “No, I want to go alone.”
“I see,” he said, and proceeded down to the boat. “Can I at least load your bag for you?”
I crossed my arms over my chest just as Ayden did occasionally, and scowled at him.
“Please don’t look at me with eyes so full of anger,” he pleaded. “I would like to offer an apology, Lillian. I’m sorry about the other day. I shouldn’t have spoken to you in that manner.” He slowly came back over to me and took hold of my hand. “You are my best friend, Lillian. You’re a special young lady. I wouldn’t know what to do if you were gone.”
“You have Ayden; you have your books and telescope. You don’t need me,” I said, choking back my tears.
“You think that’s all I need? I need a friend. Where am I ever going to find another friend like you, Lillian Arrington?” Heath said sincerely.
“But the other night—” I began, no longer fighting back my tears.
“The other night I was wrong to yell at you. It wasn’t your fault. I was so very disappointed with myself. I was supposed to take care of Ayden; I should never have let him fall into the sea. I hadn’t gotten him home safely. I was beside myself, Lillian. I know you can understand that. I realize I hurt you, and I am terribly sorry. Will you please forgive me?” he begged.
I brushed the tears from my cheeks and smiled up at him. “Of course, I forgive you,” I cried.
Heath smiled with great relief. “Will you stay? Will you no longer run away?”
He really wanted me to stay. Heath said he needed me; he said I was his best friend. Of course I would stay.
“Come, then; let’s get some sleep. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted,” he said, and looked to see if I was in agreement.
“I guess I am tired.”
Heath and I walked together, side by side. Only as I got to my door did I ask him about the old man who rowed him and Ayden to safety.
“What old man?” Heath asked when we stopped.
“The old man in the boat the night Ayden almost drowned?”
Heath looked puzzled then said, “There was no old man in the boat, Lillian.”
Confused and bewildered, I bid Heath a goodnight, but just as I turned to go, he leaned into me and placed a quick kiss on my cheek.
“Thanks for staying,” he said in a whisper, then waited until I got inside. My heart was beating fast, and I wasn’t sure if it was from the ghost that haunted the island or from Heath’s innocent kiss—my first kiss ever from a boy.
The very next morning, I was up with the roosters. I couldn’t wait to see Heath again. Everything had changed for me. I had a new outlook on life. I was once again happy to be on Jasper Island and thrilled to be a lighthouse keeper’s daughter; most of all, I was elated to be Heath’s best friend. As soon as I was dressed I wandered downstairs, and that’s when I heard their voices. Heath was in our kitchen talking to Daddy. Instantly curious, I stopped at the bottom of the stairs to listen to their conversation.
“It was no problem, sir. I was happy to help out,” Heath said quietly.
“I know how fond my daughter is of you. You’re a fine young man, Heath.”
My stomach turned into a giant knot, and I listened closely to their parting words.
“If ever you need my help with Lillian, please come to me. I know she is sensitive, and I realize how young she is.”
“I am grateful you convinced her to stay. I was pleased not to have to step in and stop her.”
I covered my mouth so they wouldn’t hear my gasp, but it was too late. Before they had a chance to say anything, I was outside and running past Momma and Opal. I ran past Ayden, who was sitting outside for the first time since the incident that nearly took his life. I ran as fast as I could, the same way Ayden did when he was humiliated. I ran and ran until my legs gave out just as I reached my spot at the end of the island. I fell hard and cried into the ground. I was just as immature as they said; I was the little girl they were talking about. Heath only came to me because Daddy found the letter and had him go after me. Heath lied; Heath betrayed me. I wasn’t his best friend, and he wasn’t sorry for yelling at me. I never wanted to talk to him ever again.
Heath tried to get me to talk to him when I had no choice but to return at the end of the day. I didn’t want to spend any more nights outside a
lone, not with the ghost of Victor roaming the island. I ignored him at supper, even when he pleaded with his eyes for me to give in. Daddy noticed my appalling behavior and sent me to my room. I threw down my napkin and stormed off, then sat in my room on my bed until he came up just before his night watch. He wouldn’t even let Momma come up and see me until he had words with me.
Daddy stood tall and unyielding and insisted I explain my unacceptable behavior. I refused to admit fault. I had never once defied Daddy, and deep inside feared his disenchantment with me, but I couldn’t help myself. I was so distraught over Heath’s betrayal and that Daddy had asked Heath to do it.
“Look at me when I speak to you, Lillian,” Daddy insisted. I lifted my gaze and shot him a look of hurt and pain. He came to me then and brought me into his loving arms.
“Do you know how much you mean to me, my darling daughter?” he said softly. I cried into his strong chest as he soothed me, stroking my long hair. “I would do anything not to see you hurt. Heath did as I asked, Lillian. I wanted him to bring you back because I knew you would listen to him. I see how much you admire him. I just wanted you to be safe. Do you understand?”
“But I admire you more, Daddy,” I sobbed.
“Then I should have gone after you. I am truly sorry for that. I know this life isn’t easy for a young girl like you. You have no other girls your age to play with. Please believe me when I say this,” he said, kissing my wet cheeks.
“I do, Daddy.”
“Good. Now no more tears.”
I knew when Daddy said no more tears, he meant it. Of course I did as he said and stopped crying. Then the next day, I asked Heath for forgiveness.
Heath was unsure what to say. I could see my anger towards him had hurt his feelings. This time, it was I who had to win him over.
“I still want to be best friends, if it’s okay with you.”
He didn’t answer at first. I waited while he sat on the rock with his fishing pole and began to bait the hook. The sun was high and I could see all of the golden highlights in his hair, and when he finally looked up at me, I could almost see through his blue eyes.
Finally he spoke, and when he did, I was relieved that he was no longer upset with me. “Come; sit and fish with me.”
I joined him on the rock, and we sat side by side.
“The circus is coming to town tomorrow,” Heath informed me. “And the doctor said Ayden is well enough to go.”
We looked to one another and smiled. Everything was finally back to the way it had been, and unbeknownst to me, even better days were to come.
_______________
Chapter Four
Momma worried when she discovered the boys and me down at the shore, climbing into the boat to go over to the mainland for the first day of the circus.
“Lillian,” she said, hurrying to us. “I’m not comfortable with this.”
“But Momma, Daddy said I could go with Heath and Ayden,” I cried, fearing she would make me stay on the island and the boys would go to the circus without me.
“I will look after Lillian, Mrs. Arrington,” Heath said. Ayden was about to push off.
Momma contemplated what to do. If Daddy had told me I could go, she was not going to challenge his authority. Momma knew Daddy was wise and wouldn’t let anything happen to me. I was sure Momma was thinking of the night of the storm, the night Ayden was lying on the beach, just about dead. I saw the trouble in her eyes, but I wanted to go more than I wanted her to be content.
“Remember, Momma, the light will bring us home safely,” I said, waiting on the edge of my seat for her answer. Heath waited to get into the boat. Finally she agreed, but insisted I be home before dark.
“Thank you, Momma,” I said, and I waved to her all the way out to the ocean. She waved until we had turned the end of the island.
I’d always loved being on any boat, but I especially loved rowboats, where I could put my fingers in the cool water and drag them along, leaving a small wake behind me. Heath rowed with expertise, and Ayden kept his head low, sitting silently next to me.
The waters were calm, and it didn’t take us long to get to the harbor.
“The circus tents are just outside of town; we’ll have to walk a few miles,” Heath said. Together, the three of us walked through the small village and down the road to the circus. Families on buckboards passed us on the muddy road. Heath walked steps in front of us, talking about the gypsies that traveled with the circus.
“The gypsy people are the animal trainers. They travel with the performers. Most of them were originally from Austria and Germany.”
“I heard they are all thieves,” Ayden said.
I didn’t know anything about them. Before Heath mentioned them, I hadn’t even heard of gypsies.
“You shouldn’t believe everything you hear, Ayden,” Heath said.
“I don’t,” he replied.
“I’ve read a little about the circus.” I said as we strolled along the wooded road. “Is it true that there are five-hundred-pound women and people who eat fire, and is there really such a thing as a wolf-boy?”
“They are called side shows, and it’s all true.”
It didn’t take us long to arrive at the clearing on a private farm. There was one large tent set up, and several smaller ones were scattered around it. There were wagons everywhere—some from spectators. Others were covered wagons that carried the gypsies and performers from town to town. I even spotted wagons with giant iron bars that housed the lions and tigers.
“Come this way to purchase our tickets,” Heath said.
Ayden and I stayed close behind Heath. The crowd was large, and it was difficult to get to the midway. Once we arrived at the small wooden booth, Heath took out a five-cent piece and bought our three tickets. It was hard to see anything in the thick crowd. People were pushing and shoving. Heath noticed I was having trouble and immediately came and took my hand. Ayden stayed close to me as we pushed through to the sideshows. A pitchman was selling an array of colored balloons for one cent, and as we passed him, he went to hand me one.
“A balloon for the beautiful young lady?” the tall man with the funny moustache asked. Heath told him no. The man smiled and winked at me, then continued to holler, “Balloons here!”
“Stay close,” Heath told Ayden and me.
In the many different side shows were midgets, a fat lady, a lady who had a beard just like a man, and even a man with two heads!
“That is a Siamese twin. They are very rare. They are created when the two embryos don’t completely separate,” Heath informed me.
Ayden’s eyes were wide, and he gasped each time we came upon a freak.
After we had seen the different side shows, Heath brought us to the marquee. There the ducat grabber took our tickets, and we squeezed through the crowd and into the galley. By pure luck we found three seats together, right at the front. I sat between the boys.
Heath was amused by my wide eyes. I had never experienced such an event or crowd. I couldn’t wait for it to start.
Ayden pointed out the clowns that appeared. “There are your clowns, Lillian,” he chuckled, remembering the night I learned the circus was coming to town. I laughed with Ayden.
“And there are your elephants,” I added. Ayden gave me a big smile.
“Okay, here comes the ringmaster,” Heath said excitedly, and the crowd went quiet. We all listened as he explained that there would be rope walkers, perch acts, and even death-defying acts! There would be big, dangerous cats, and funny clowns, and dogs that would walk on balls. Pretty ladies sat on swings hundreds of feet up, then flew through the air, only to be caught by a handsome man on the other swing. I clapped so hard my hands were sore and my face ached from smiling and laughing so much.
Afterwards, when it was over, I was fulfilled and ready to return to our island. Just as we began our walk back to the harbor, talking over all the exciting acts we had witnessed, I noticed a small covered wagon nestled in the woods, not t
oo far from the side of the road. An old lady with a shawl draped over her shoulders was hunched over a small fire. Her wagon read, “Miss Lola—Fortune Teller.” I nudged Heath, who was walking at my side, and he looked at me.
“Look,” I said. “It’s a creepy gypsy lady.”
“We should be getting back,” Heath said, sensing my curiosity.
“It’s still early,” I replied. The old gypsy woman noticed us and waved for us to come to her. I looked at Heath, who like me, was very curious. It was our nature—we were always wondering.
“Don’t go over there,” Ayden warned, hiding behind Heath.
“Oh, come on now; it will be fun,” Heath said.
I was the first to hurry over to the old lady in the woods. Heath was right behind me, but Ayden stayed back by the road until he realized that we were leaving him alone. Then he ran to catch up.
The old gypsy knew why we were there and slowly got up to open the flap to her wagon for us to join her inside. Heath reached for a coin as we sat down in the dimly lit, make-shift room.
“Here you go,” Heath said, and she took the money from him.
The old lady sat down, and we all huddled close. Several candles gave off just enough light to see her face and a deck of cards that she lifted and handed to me.
“Shuffle them,” she instructed. Heath watched as I mixed the cards. Ayden had his eyes closed tightly, obviously petrified. When I felt I was finished, she extended her long, boney hand and took the cards. Then she began to lay them out on the table in a distinct pattern. The cards had mystical drawings and words on them.
“That must represent you,” Heath whispered in my ear, referring to the card in the center. It was a colored drawing of a blond-haired girl. The gypsy glared at Heath, and he sat back without another word.
Ayden had opened his eyes and begun to watch as she studied the cards. We waited impatiently for her to speak. I tried to figure out what the cards meant. It all seemed rather confusing. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, she spoke.
The Girl in the Lighthouse (Arrington) Page 4
