by AR Colbert
Dr. Chavez’s nurse took my temperature, listened to my heart, and had me breathe in and out a few times. She checked my eyes and my ears, making small talk the entire time but never actually asking me what happened. I had my story prepared for Dr. Chavez though. I’d tell him Dax and I were visiting Peacemakers throughout the boroughs and I fell while trying to gather supplies at our last stop. It was as close to the truth as I could get without revealing too much.
But I never had a chance to deliver my story. The nurse stepped out to get the doctor, and the next time the door opened it was Felix who rushed in.
“Claren!”
He ran forward and scooped me into a hug. I patted him on the back after he’d held me for a few seconds too long, and he released me back to my spot on the exam table.
“Hi Felix.”
“Are you okay? I came as soon as I got the call. I swear if Rider wasn’t already so beat up I would’ve killed him for letting you out of his sight. And you—”
He turned to face a very tired looking Dax sitting in the corner. “Why didn’t you get into contact with me sooner? I’ve had men scouring all the main roads outside of the city for the last two days! I’ve been worried sick!”
He turned back before Dax could answer and placed a hand on my cheek. “But really, are you okay? The nurse said you seemed fine, but I want to hear it from you.”
“Yes, Felix. I really am okay. I’m just tired.”
“Good. Then let’s get you home.”
“For the record,” Dax piped up, “there was no way for us to contact anyone. But I’m sure you knew that if you found Rider. They left all of our supplies with him.”
“Sure, the walkies and trackers were with Rider, but you still should’ve found a way.” Felix looked at me with a softness in his eyes. He looked equal parts relieved to find us safe and concerned about what we went through. I gave him a reassuring smile to let him know I was okay.
“So you found Rider? And Aiden? And Emilio? Are they all safe?”
“Rider took a beating for sure, but I have to say he’s looking better than Dax,” Felix said with a half-grin. He seemed to be a little less tense now, but Dax did not look amused. “And the others are fine. Aiden wanted to burn the camp to the ground, but Emilio convinced him to get Rider and what equipment they could salvage and get out of there before the Outsiders came to. Everyone is resting now. The Leadership allowed them to take a few days to recover and repair the equipment. I’ll make sure you get a few days off, too.”
I wanted to argue that we didn’t have time to relax, but this wasn’t the time or the place. After our attack, the Exiled were probably already gone. They might even have been planning a retaliatory attack on the Ember camps. Or worse, they might be planning an attack on Classen City. The last thing I needed was for Dimitri to go into war-mode on the Embers, thinking they were the enemy. This was all getting complicated. But what I knew for sure was that there wasn’t time to delay.
“We can discuss that back at home,” I said.
Felix smiled. “It’s nice to hear you call it home.”
The door opened again and a tall woman with auburn hair and a kind smile walked in. The tag on her white coat read Dr. Philburn, Radiology. She was definitely in the wrong part of the hospital.
“Hi Claren, I’m Melinda.”
She shook my hand and gestured to the boys with a nod of her head. “You’ve got quite the crowd in here.”
“Yes ma’am, she does. Felix Walsh.” He extended a hand for the doctor to shake.
“Of course,” she said. “I’d recognize our future Senator anywhere. But it’s a pleasure all the same.” Turning back to me she said, “I’m afraid Dr. Chavez is tied up at the moment, so the nurse asked me to step in and take a look for him. Is that alright with you?”
“Sure.” I shrugged. The quicker we could finish, the better.
“Great.” She pulled off her stethoscope and leaned in to listen to my heart. As she did, she whispered right next to my ear. “Your father called and asked me to check on you. He didn’t mention Walsh. Are you safe with him?”
My eyes widened. Dad called her? He was definitely involved in this stuff deeper than he let on. And maybe I should have been touched that he called ahead. That he was looking out for me. But I couldn’t help the bitterness that crept in as well. Why didn’t he trust me enough to let me know what he was doing? Why didn’t anyone seem to think I was capable of handling the truth?
“Yes,” I whispered with a firm nod. Poor Felix seemed to be just as unaware as me. But I certainly felt safer in the dark with him than surrounded by people who couldn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth.
“Perfect.” Melinda smiled widely and stood. “You look great to me. Go home and get some rest. You’ll be good as new in a day or two.”
Felix wrinkled his brows in confusion, but the doctor scurried out before he had a chance to ask any questions. I suspected she didn’t want to draw any attention to herself.
How many other people in Classen City were involved with the Embers? And how many of them knew about my dad? It suddenly felt like the whole world was lying to me.
CHAPTER 23
Jean had a full feast prepared for us back at Felix’s house, complete with roasted chicken, vegetables, wild rice, and golden buttery dinner rolls. Dax joined us for dinner but took off shortly thereafter. None of us dared to get into details of the weekend’s events in front of the staff, and Felix recognized Dax’s exhaustion and sent him home before we could regroup in the study. I took that opportunity to retire as well. It had been a long weekend, and all I really wanted was a hot shower and my cozy bed.
It wasn’t until the water from the shower encircled me in steam that the gravity of the last two days really hit me. We found the Exiled and failed to place the amplifiers. Then the Exiled found us and beat us into oblivion. But not to worry—my actual living dad’s Ember friends rescued us. Dad was alive. Raf was probably married and lying about it just like he lied about my dad. The whole situation had escalated out of my control and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do anymore.
My fingertips had shriveled into tiny roses and my skin was red from the constant stream of hot water when Tamara knocked gently on the bathroom door.
“Ms. Greenwood? Is everything okay in there?”
I leaned my forehead against the slick tile. How long had I been in there? “Yes, I’m fine.”
Fine. It was a word I’d used a lot in the last two days. But I definitely wasn’t feeling it, no matter how many times I’d tried to convince myself and everyone else of it. I turned the water off and stepped out into the steamy bathroom to dry off and change into the pajamas Tamara had left for me.
Once dressed, I twisted the wet knob and a blast of cold air from my bedroom reminded me I was alive as I swung the door open. Tamara was gone. But Felix was standing there.
“Oh! How long have you been waiting here?” I asked.
“Not long.” Felix scratched the back of his head. “Okay, maybe for a little while.” He grinned. “But I didn’t mean to startle you. I can go if you want.”
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “You’re fine. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.” I ran a towel through my hair and hung it to dry before sitting on the edge of my bed.
“I bet. Well I won’t stay long, but we haven’t really had a chance to discuss what happened. Are you up for a quick rundown? I can come back tomorrow if you want to rest first.”
He was giving me plenty of opportunities to turn him away, but it was evident that he wanted to stay. I shrugged and patted the bed beside me.
“It’s alright. Have a seat.” There wouldn’t ever be a good time to fill him in on everything, so I may as well get it over with.
“We found the Exiled camp pretty quickly,” I began. Felix came and sat beside me, eager to hear more.
“Emilio located it with his drone, but he stayed at the van with Aiden while Dax and Rider joined me on foot. Everything was going wel
l until we spotted a couple of their guys. They had my friend Raf. He was unconscious.” I swallowed, remembering the sight of him lying limp on the ground at the camp.
Felix’s brows pushed together. “Raf? The guy you’ve been talking about for the last couple of weeks?”
“Yeah, that’s the one. But don’t worry, you won’t hear much more about him from me.” I fought the urge to roll my eyes again. Why did Raf have to stain my memory of reuniting with my dad?
Felix was clearly curious, but he didn’t push for more about Raf. Thank goodness. I really didn’t want to talk about him anymore.
“Anyway, Dax started running his mouth about him, which upset me. I accidentally pushed him and caught the attention of the Exiled guys. Everything happened really quickly from there, but they knocked us out fast.”
“They didn’t have any weapons?” Felix asked.
“One guy did, but Rider got it from him pretty early on. I wish Rider had just shot them all, but I guess it’s good he didn’t. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have another chance at placing the amplifiers later.”
Felix tensed. “Statistically I guess everyone will get it right every now and then.”
Wow, he really had a chip on his shoulder when it came to Rider. “Oh come on, you’ve got to give him some credit,” I said. “Rider was good out there.”
Felix grimaced. “If he was good, he wouldn’t have allowed you to get taken. At least not without knowing where you were going.”
“Seriously. What is the deal between you two?”
He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll give him some credit and we can move on. We’re all entitled to keep some things to ourselves aren’t we?”
I held his gaze for several seconds, thinking about Raf and my dad. “Yeah, I guess we are.” I looked away, but the feeling of Felix’s eyes lingered on me.
Taking a deep breath, I continued with my story. “Just before I passed out, a group of strangers came in and started fighting back against the Exiled. They didn’t have any firearms either, but it didn’t stop them from doing some major damage. They knew who I was, but I didn’t know them. Come to find out, they’re members of the Ember Society, just from a different settlement.”
Felix tilted his head to the side. “Did Frank send them?”
“No.” I stared thoughtfully at the man beside me. Felix was full of nothing but concern for me. He always had been, even from the first time we met and he picked me up from the floor in my classroom at the Peacemaker training program. “They don’t work for Frank. They work for my dad.”
Felix’s eyes grew wide. “Your dad?” His shock was genuine. Felix once mentioned that he had connections Outside, but he never really knew who he was dealing with. After the conversation I’d had with my dad about the mystery leadership in the Ember Society, I now believed that to be true. Felix knew less than I originally thought.
I nodded. “My dad’s alive, even after all these years. And apparently he’s pretty high on the Ember Society food chain.”
Felix gaped at me, bewildered. I expected him to pepper me with questions about my dad’s role. Surely he was wondering all the same things I was. But all I felt from him was the enormous concern that was ever-growing for me.
“I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been.” He placed a warm hand on my knee. “I mean I’m sure you were excited to see him, but after all these years? Wow.”
My eyes warmed with the pressure of my tears building from deep within. I’d just dropped a major piece of intel into his lap, and Felix’s only thoughts were of my wellbeing.
I sniffled through a smile. “I was excited to see him, but you’re right. It was a lot to take in.”
I didn’t tell him about Raf’s lie or my dad’s new relationship with Carmen. I didn’t have to. Felix was already there for me. He already knew I needed a friend. I placed my hand on his, which was still resting on my knee, and allowed his warmth to fill me.
He looked down at my touch and gave a sad smile. “Dads have a weird way of bringing up old emotions, don’t they?”
I gave his fingers a squeeze. I’d never met Felix’s dad, but something obviously happened at their most recent meeting. I wanted Felix to know that he was safe with me. He could confide in me like I just had in him.
He brought his gaze back to me, his crystal blue eyes sparkling with sadness. “My dad and I used to be really close.”
“What happened?”
“It’s a long story. I’ll save you from the drama.”
“It’s okay,” I said, scooting up toward my pillow. “I’ve got all night.”
I felt his pulse quicken as he considered his next move. But after a moment he joined me on the bed, laying on his back and facing the ceiling with his hands crossed gentlemanly on his stomach.
“You asked about Rider earlier...” He swallowed, the muscles in his neck drawing my attention briefly. “Well we grew up together. His dad, Mr. Chelton, was my dad’s personal guard, which meant we were practically never apart. He was my best friend.
“But since a Senator’s work never really stops, it meant long hours for Rider’s dad. He wasn’t home much at all. Rider would tag along with him so we could play, but his mom would spend long days and weeks at home alone. Looking back, I suspect it caused some tension in his parents’ marriage. But of course we never stopped to think about that stuff as kids.
“As Mr. Chelton spent more and more time with my family, I think he began to grow fond of my mom. It was probably hard not to. She was smart and funny and kind. She was a lot like you, actually. She was beautiful and easy to love.” He rolled slightly to his side, facing me with a small genuine smile that left my cheeks warm.
“And when I was fourteen, my parents announced they were expecting another child. My dad was happier than I’d ever seen him. He’d skip around the house like he’d been handed the world. I think they had been trying unsuccessfully to give me a sibling for years. But one afternoon Rider and I were sneaking around the house when we should have been at school, and we stumbled upon Mr. Chelton holding my mom in his arms while she cried. The baby was his.”
Felix choked up and I scooted closer, rubbing his arm gently. His memories were raw, and his pain twisted my stomach. I wanted to pull him into a hug, hold him until I could soothe it all away. But I didn’t. I took his hand instead, holding it tight to let him know I was there for him. Projecting as much comfort into him as I could.
“We took off running. Neither of us wanted to see that. We ran all the way back to Rider’s house, jumped the fence to his back patio, and finally confirmed what we both saw. Unfortunately, the kitchen window was open and his mom heard it all. She busted the back door open and unleashed a fury like I’d never seen. We didn’t deserve it of course. Rider and I didn’t do anything wrong. But she didn’t care. She slapped Rider across the face. Told him he was just like his dad. And she screamed at me, calling my mother every rotten name in the book—and then some.
“Then she left. She just up and disappeared. Rider and I were both shattered. He blamed me for his mom leaving. He hated my family for tearing his apart. I never told my dad. We never mentioned it to any of the other parents. As far as I know, they still don’t know why Mrs. Chelton left.”
Felix closed his eyes and paused, inhaling deeply before continuing. “A few months later my mom went into labor. It was early, way too early for the baby. The doctors and Healers did everything they could, but neither of them made it. My mom and the little brother I never got to meet both died in the medical center.”
“Oh Felix, I’m so sorry.” I pulled him into an embrace, and he stretched out his arm, allowing my body to lay perfectly in place next to his. He wrapped his strong arm around me, pulling me close to his chest where I rested my cheek near his shoulder, listening to his heart beat wildly. After several moments, his pulse slowed and his breathing evened out.
“Rider and I both lost our moms. And we placed the blame on each other. We quit speaking.
After Mom died, my dad basically quit speaking to me, too. He was devastated. He didn’t know how to grieve, and I think the sight of me reminded him too much of her. He avoided me at all costs, leaving me to be raised by our attendants. I would never be able to replace the hole she left in his heart.” He stared at the ceiling, a look of grief etched around his eyes.
“None of that was your fault. I hate that you’ve suffered so much because of it.” I propped myself up on an elbow, examining the chiseled lines of his handsome face. Felix lost his mom, dad, and brother, just like me. I never knew he’d endured so much loss. Felix might have been the one person in the world who actually could understand what I was going through, and I’d been horribly inconsiderate toward him.
His flashy exterior and smooth talking was just a guard around a very broken heart.
Felix met my eyes. “It’s okay. If anything, it’s made me stronger. And I swear, I will never allow anyone I love to experience that kind of pain.”
His pulse quickened again, “I will never abandon the people I care about.”
I believed him. He wouldn’t lie to me like Raf. He wouldn’t live a secret life without telling me, like my dad. He would never leave me alone.
My heart pounded, matching his, and I broke our eye contact to examine his lips, sitting still and perfect just inches from mine. I knew I shouldn’t kiss him, but he was hurting. And I was hurting. And I was finally seeing Felix for the man he really was. He was more than a pretty face. He was strong and thoughtful. And he really cared about me.
I moved slowly toward him, pressing my mouth softly against his. His eyes closed, and he kissed me gently once. Then again. I sighed into him, relaxing as each tender kiss seemed to mend another piece of my own broken heart.
I moved my free hand from his chest to the back of his neck, pulling myself closer as our kiss deepened. It wasn't an unbridled passion like I felt when I kissed Raf. I didn’t feel dangerous and out of control. I felt safe in the comfort of his arms. Raf could practically read my mind, but Felix really knew me for who I was at my core.
