by Deb McEwan
‘They’re not coming out but you can come in if you like. Go and get your cossies and your mother’s permission.’
The twins rushed home and appeared 10 minutes later with their mother. As soon as she saw them Jemima started on about wanting to be a twin again. Her mother explained that this wasn’t possible but Jemima chose to ignore her. Caroline left the children to it and went back to her chores. A few minutes later she heard more shouting from outside the back gate. This time it was Jason and Robert and they eventually ended up in the paddling pool. Caroline phoned their parents to ensure they knew where their sons were. The pool was getting crowded so she made the children take it in turns and they soon made a game out of this.
‘I’m hungry, Mam.’ Called Jack.
‘And me.’ Said the twins followed by Jemima.
It was the day before the weekly shop and Caroline was running low on treats. Lacking the skills to knock up a quick nutritious dish, she decided to get on the internet and see how quick Tesco could deliver some kiddie snacks. It would mean the kids waiting a while but she’d have to keep them amused.
The doorbell rang. Caroline opened the door and the delicious smell of freshly cooked pastry wafted into the hall. Sarah Johnson stood there smiling and holding a dish covered by a tea-towel.
‘As you’re looking after the kids, I thought I’d provide the refreshments.’ She handed the dish to Caroline and hurried back to her car. Caroline peeked under the tea-towel and took another whiff.
‘Corned beef pie?’
‘Yup.’ shouted Sarah as she walked up the path. ‘And here’s some cakes with dinosaur shapes on. You know how crazy they are about anything to do with dinosaurs.’
Caroline helped Sarah into the kitchen with the goodies and nodded the unspoken question towards the kettle. Sarah nodded in return and Caroline prepared the tea things. Sarah asked if she could get some plates for the children and cut the pie and Caroline indicated to the cupboard where some paper plates were stored.
‘Saves on the washing up.’
Sarah cut the pie and placed a piece on each of the plates together with a dinosaur cake. Even the way she arranged the food on the plates looked lovely and Caroline was amazed at this woman’s talents. In addition to bringing up the twins and their older brother, she gave swimming lessons at the local club, worked part-time in a bank, was a domestic goddess and always looked immaculate. She also managed a run every day and was also a lovely person who would do anything for anybody.
They filled plastic cups with cold drinks for the children and Caroline went to the garden with a pile of towels to call them in. Dry and ravenous they piled into the kitchen and attacked the food like vultures on a corpse, while Caroline and Sarah drank their tea and watched.
‘I’ll have them for a few days next week if you like.’ Said Sarah. ‘And you can do the baking if you fancy it.’
Caroline said a reluctant yes but not before Sarah had seen the look of horror on her face.
‘Not into cooking then?’ Sarah smiled and Caroline decided to come clean.
‘I’m rubbish at it actually. I can do the simple stuff obviously but Phil does most of the cooking in this house. Or we have takeaways.’
Caroline felt a little ashamed. Although she was quite awkward, she was generally able to put her hand to whatever she tried, but cooking had been the exception. She always gave the kids healthy snacks and they quite liked fruit and raw vegetables. ‘It’s nothing to be ashamed about, Caroline. You’ve got a fantastic career and you’re a brill mother, you can’t expect to be good at everything.’
Caroline sighed. ‘I don’t want to be good at everything, I just want to be able to feed my family and friends without poisoning them!’
The children took their plates and drinks out to the garden and Sarah said.
‘I have a suggestion.’
She smiled at Caroline who didn’t like the sound of this. She folded her arms and leaned back against the counter.
‘Go on then.’
‘Don’t look so suspicious.’ Sarah laughed. ‘I’m trying to help.’
Caroline unfolded her arms and tried to look less defensive.
‘I know it’s going to have something to do with cooking and I’ve tried it before. I just have to come to terms with the fact that I’ll never be any good at it.’
‘That’s a bit defeatist. Anyway, aren’t you even slightly curious about my suggestion?’
Caroline admitted that she was and Sarah suggested that she come to her house for a few hours every Wednesday evening and she would teach Caroline how to cook. Nothing too fancy, just ordinary wholesome food.
‘If you want to surprise Phil you could tell him that we’re getting together every Wednesday just to chill and catch up if you like?’
Caroline was trying to think of a reason not to go as she was convinced she’d never be able to cook. Sarah could sense her reluctance so kept pushing.
‘What have you got to lose? Worse case scenario is you really are beyond help, and best case is that you might actually like it and learn something.’
‘OK.’ Caroline took a deep breath. ‘What’s the plan?’
‘Right.’ Said Sarah. ‘I tell you what ingredients you need and you bring them with you.’
‘Aren’t you going to tell me what we’re making.’
‘Nope. That way you won’t talk yourself out of it before we start.’
‘Fair enough.’ They both smiled. ‘Start next Wednesday then?’ Sarah was keen to set a date so Caroline didn’t have a chance to change her mind.
‘Can we leave it until after the school holidays? The kids are going to their grandparents next week. Me and Phil are going away for a few days while they’re away and then we’re all going to Spain.’
They agreed to start Caroline’s cookery lessons at the beginning of September though Caroline was still convinced it would be a disaster.
Chapter 23
The children had stayed with Jean and Bunny for 2 nights before being picked up by Donna and Trevor. Bunny opened the front door to them.
‘How lovely to see you both and, Donna you look gorgeous as usual.’
Donna giggled and Trevor rolled his eyes. Bunny ignored Trevor’s look and they followed him into the living room, Donna getting the niggly feeling again that she knew Bunny from somewhere but couldn’t place where.
‘Nanna, Grandpa.’ Jemima ran and hugged them both followed by Jack. Elvis wagged his tail and barked to get their attention.
‘Hello, Donna. You look well.’ Jean forced a smile and Donna returned an equally false smile and greeting.
‘Have you had a good time kids?’ Trevor hoped to cut the tension between the women.
‘Bunny’s shown me how to grow seeds.’ Said Jemima.
‘Bunny’s let me play with his motorbike collection.’ Said Jack. They both adored their grandmother’s partner and Trevor was glad they’d had such a good time.
Bunny was young, charming and vibrant and he tried to quash the feeling of envy that was beginning to rise to the surface. Much as Trevor had tried not to like Bunny at first, he couldn’t help but warm to the fella and he was annoyed with himself. ‘Fantastic. Time to go now though, so let’s get all your stuff together. Come on Elvis.’
Elvis was comfortable where he was and happy to stay there. They all looked at him expectantly, waiting patiently so he thought he’d best make a move. He got up, gave a gentle woof and walked over to Bunny. Elvis enjoyed Bunny’s company and had liked him straight away. Bunny patted and made a fuss of Elvis and told him he’d miss him and see him soon. Jean gave the dog a little pat then went and washed her hands. Charming thought Elvis.
Jemima gave Jean a big hug and kiss and then grabbed hold of Bunny.
‘I love you, Bunny.’
‘And I love you, sweetheart. See you soon.’ Jemima very rarely told adults she loved them and the other adults tried to hide their surprise.
Jack’s goodbyes were slightly less emotiona
l and he thanked his grandmother and Bunny for such a good time and looked forward to staying with them again.
‘Soon hopefully.’ He added.
It was tales of Bunny in the car all the way to Donna and Trevor’s house. The adults were so relieved when they arrived.
‘I forgot to polish his halo before we left.’ Donna whispered to Trevor but Jemima heard.
‘I don’t think Bunny’s a real angel, Granny.’
Max thought an explanation was required. ‘Angels are spiritual beings that help humans when they’re in trouble and generally create miracles. The miracles range from finding parking spaces for harassed mothers to curing illness.’
‘We’re not sure whether angels are real or imaginary and are unable to prove conclusively either way.’
‘You may wish to know that halos are circles of light that hover above the heads of angels to signify their status. Angels also have very lovely feathery wings to enable them to fly. However, human legend has it that angels have the ability to hide both their halos and wings whenever they want. It’s therefore extremely hard for humans to detect angels merely by looking at them.’
‘To confuse matters even more, humans often call kind people and well behaved children angels. This should not be taken literally.’
‘While Jack and Jemima spent time with their extended family, Caroline and Phil decided to go away for a few days.’
They’d agreed to have a break in their own country as they were taking the children to Spain when they returned from visiting their grandparents. They didn’t want to spend much money on their break so Phil had found a good deal on the internet and they arrived in Falhaven early in the afternoon. Phil parked in one of the allocated spaces 100 metres or so up the road as the hotel didn’t have a dedicated car park. Caroline looked around as they made their way to the hotel. She hummed the tune from the Twilight Zone.
‘It’s like a scene from Survivors when there’s less than 10 per cent of the population left. All that’s needed is tumbleweed down the middle of the street.’
‘I think you’re getting your films and programmes mixed up.’ Said Phil, ever the Virgo and a stickler for detail. Caroline gave him a look. What was it about blokes that their world was only black or white, yet most things for women were a shade of grey?
‘Why are females so complicated, whatever the species.’ Max asked Vicky.
‘It makes us more interesting, my love.’ Vicky hoisted the camera onto her back.
‘I take it I’m filming and you’re narrating.’
Max smiled. ‘You may be the exception to the rule, Vic.’ ‘But you’re still the most interesting female specimen I’ve ever encountered.’ He added quickly once he’d seen her expression.
*****
Advertised as a small family run concern, the hotel had 3 guest rooms and Caroline thought it being advertised as a hotel was a slight exaggeration. There was a sign on the door to go to the bar if no-one was at reception. They went into the bar which was also empty but showed a ring bell for service sign. 5 then 10 minutes passed and a harassed looking large lady eventually appeared.
‘Hello my lovelies, I’m Gwen, sorry to keep you. Are you here for the street carnival tomorrow?’
She placed a registration form on the counter while talking.
‘We’re here for a long weekend without the children.’ Said Caroline. ‘It seems really quiet outside. Where is everyone?’
‘Oh it’s always quiet round here, my lovelies but more so today. They’re all getting their floats ready for tomorrow.’
Phil raised an eyebrow questioningly and she explained that most people in the village were involved in the carnival. The floats would travel over the fields, through the tracked park and down the high street, ending up at the village square where they’d park in a circle. The Falhaven villagers and some people from the surrounding villages always lined the route and followed the floats. An adults and childrens' fancy dress competition would end the parade.
‘Then everyone drinks too much for the rest of the day and ends up talking about aliens and nonsense.’
‘So that’s what the carnival about, aliens?’ Caroline was intrigued. And so were the spiders.
Gwen nodded her head and said that it was local folklore that many years ago a villager had found something strange.
‘The story goes that it was a mixture of metal and liquid.’
‘Anyway.’ She explained. ‘He showed it to the village elders and none of them had ever seen anything like it. They talked about it until the early hours and by the time they drifted off to sleep one by one, none of them had reached a decision as to what it was. They were all suddenly woken by a bright violet light, shining directly onto the object from the sky. The object appeared to come to life and pulsated a translucent green light. The village elders were mesmerized and, like rabbits caught in a car’s headlights, none of them could move. The pulsating quickened and suddenly the object disappeared into the sky and into the bright violet light.’
Gwen was really getting into the swing of things and Caroline guessed that she’d told this story many times before.
‘There was a low whirring noise then the light disappeared, just like that.’ She clicked her fingers.
‘The 8 men insisted it was a visitation from other beings but the village is famous for its ale so most of us reckon too much was drank that night.’
Phil looked up from completing the form.
‘Has there been a carnival every year since?’
‘Good heavens no. About 20 years ago old Mrs Plumerton passed. She didn’t have any relatives and the council held a house sale hoping there’d be enough to pay for her funeral. An old book was found and bought by Gail Southerton. The book held the details of what I’ve just told you, written by a paternal relative of Mrs Plumerton a few hundred years before. You see my lovelies, 20 years ago the village was very run down. A lot of workers had lost their jobs when the factories closed and the area was very depressed. Gail Southerton, the enterprising young lady who’d found the book spotted an opportunity to promote tourism. She used the story to advertise the village and arranged the carnival. She encouraged local businesses to sponsor floats and the Falhaven Largo carnival was born.’
Max stretched and asked Vicky to stop filming.
‘You’re surprisingly calm after what we’ve seen.’ Vicky said as she removed the camera and shook her body.
‘I’ve learnt not to be surprised at anything these days, Vic. How do you reckon we should play this one?’
After talking it through they agreed the best approach was to contact Pamela Birdflu, let her view the recording and seek her advice.
The break over and the spiders returned to HQ with Phil and Caroline. Pamela Birdflu had sought advice from Haggis Fanshawe and the programme was aired with narration and cutting as he directed.
*****
On Largo, Bobby sat quietly in his living room, assimilating the information from Falhaven.
‘Something’s ringing a bell here.’ He muttered.
Flora and her offspring could sense the tension in the room.
‘What is it?’ She asked.
Bobby was tapping his heels on the floor and looking upwards, trying to recover information from his memory bank. He clapped his hands.
‘Got it. It’s that Mark 3 that went missing a long time ago. I read about it in the archives. Records show that it blew out in space and caused the two pilots to expire prematurely.’
‘What about visiting other planets and scaring the locals?’ Asked Flora.
‘Nothing about that as far as I can remember. We’ll plug in after this ends to see if there’s any further information.’
It turned out that Bobby didn’t need to.
Max. ‘Welcome back. Those intellectuals amongst you will have realised by now that the folklore in Falhaven was actually about an early Terry spacecraft. The Largo Mark 3. Until this episode was recorded the previous leaders had assumed that the vehicle
had disintegrated in space shortly after leaving Largo’s atmosphere, when contact was lost. This will now go down in Largo history as an unsolved mystery and the Supreme Government has given permission for this to be discussed openly; for the time being anyway.’
‘That’s where we’re going to end this episode. See you next time and until then…’
None of Bobby’s family chanted the usual don’t try this at home. They were all too surprised to be given information about an historical mystery and open permission to discuss what could have been an engineering or government mistake.
‘How long have they known and how long have they been lying to us?’ Flora muttered the rhetorical question.
‘What’s going on?’ Asked Keesha. And for once, neither of her parents could give a satisfactory answer.
Chapter 24
There had been a lot of radio traffic between Largo and Earth following the revelations in the previous programme and both Pamela and Haggis had been tetchy and on edge. Max had been given clear instructions on how to proceed and intended to tread very carefully. Although Terries seemed to love the spiders these days, Max didn’t want to upset any of them and risk the chance of being turned into a Terry snack.
Max. ‘Welcome to the show. I’ve been instructed to inform you that our leaders have actually reopened the investigation regarding the historic disappearance of the Mark 3 spaceship. If anything further is found, we’ll let you know.
Now we rejoin our lovely human family in Graylesford.’
Phil and Caroline arrived at Donna and Trevor’s relaxed and happy. Caroline rang the doorbell and heard chaos erupt inside. Elvis started barking and the kids ran to the door shouting Mammy, Daddy. Jack pounded into Phil and his father lifted the tall lad off his feet and swung him round. Jemima had given her mother a big hug and kiss and it was her turn to be swung up into the air by her father.
Elvis was running around like a looney, barking his head off while all this was going on. He would be really glad to get home, check to see what the spiders had been up to, and get back to his normal routine. Caroline put her arms around his neck and let his slobbery tongue lick her face.
