by Candy Laine
“You can count on that.” She opened the door with her key. Then walked in and gave him a smile and a wave as she closed it.
He could still see her smiling at him. This time he smiled back at his reflection in the mirror. In just a short while he would see her again. The thought made his heart beat faster. He didn’t even mind Vishal’s ribbing. It was all worthwhile if he could hear her laughter again.
Arun walked out of his hotel room and knocked on the door next to his. His mother opened the door. He could see his father seated on the sofa, wearing his shoes.
“Are you ready Arun?” Geeta Rastogi asked her son. He could see that she was already dressed and ready to go. She was a classic beauty. That charm and elegance came across every time he looked at her.
“Yes, Ma. Vishal will be here soon to pick us up. He messaged when he started from his home. I’m going down to the lobby to wait for him.”
“Okay, son. We will join you there. We’re almost ready as well.” She knew better than to suggest that he wait in their room for a few moments. It was a good way to avoid disaster on the day of her only sister’s son’s wedding. Col Vijay Rastogi was already quite irritated with the “civilian relatives” for myriad reasons. She didn’t want to add a father - son argument to the mix.
Arun walked away from the open door towards the lifts. He needed to figure out exactly what he wanted to say to Shweta today. He knew he would get just one chance and he couldn’t mess it up. She was like a breath of fresh air in his stale existence. He wanted her to be a larger part of his life, but she was always so quiet. Silent and reserved. He needed to breach that wall she had constructed around herself.
The doors opened with a ding. He walked in and punched the button for the lobby. He still didn’t know what he should say to her. As the doors opened he walked out into the lobby and caught sight of his friend standing at the reception. Vishal seemed to be busy flirting with the pretty receptionist. Arun smiled. Maybe he should get some tips from Vishal on how to speak with Shweta. He shook his head knowing he’d never do that. Vishal turned at that moment and saw him.
“Ah, there he is now.” Vishal swirled his head towards the receptionist, “I told you my friend was actually staying here.” She giggled as she saw Arun approach and went back to staring at the computer screen in front of her.
Vishal walked up to Arun and shook his outstretched hand. “How’re you doing buddy? Uncle and Aunty ready to leave yet?”
“They’ll be down shortly.” Arun and Vishal moved away from the desk and went towards the oversized sofas in the lobby.
“Thanks for not murdering me last night for talking so much to your girl. Although I am curious. I could make out how much you like her, so why didn't you speak with her?” Vishal asked.
Arun didn’t know how to explain to his friend the scope of what he was feeling. Thankfully he didn’t have to get into it as right then the elevator doors dinged open and his parents stepped out. Vishal smiled and turned on the charm, he could always be trusted to smooth things over with the parents even when they got into trouble as kids. It was time to get going.
~~~
She was gorgeous. Arun was certain no one held a candle to her flame in the entire room full of females dressed up for the wedding. His breath caught in his throat as he passed her in the line of family and friends waiting to welcome the members of the Baraat.
Shweta smiled at him as she tossed a few flowers over his head as he stepped past her. He didn’t want to go in, he was happier standing with her, but the line needed to move on and he would be blocking the way. She smiled at him and gestured for him to move in.
As Gagan removed his shoes and stepped into the mandap, Arun saw the younger cousins take charge of protecting the shoes from the bride’s sisters and friends. He was not going to participate in that particular ritual. He settled down in his seat as the mantras began droning. It would be a while before the bride arrived for the actual ceremony from the room she was currently sequestered in.
He smiled as he saw Shweta and a bunch of other young girls move to the back of the hall. Then one of them pointed towards where the shoes were hidden and next they were huddling again. Shweta was pushed out of the group towards them. She turned and said something, but the other girls obviously overruled her. She turned and drew herself up to her full height before marching straight towards him.
As she made eye contact with a grim look and then turned to look at his younger cousins guarding the shoes, his heart sank. He knew what was going to happen and he didn’t want any part of it. She was supposed to be the decoy, he could see the other girls shifting along the rows of chairs, getting closer but not too close. The entire campaign was clear to him, but it all depended on Shweta being able to distract his cousins.
“Don’t you think you should help her?” Vishal had a huge grin on his face. Arun shook his head. He didn’t want to get involved in these childish games.
“Oh, come on. She’s looking really uncomfortable right now. Go ahead and help her distract the boys. If you don’t do it, I will.” He was extremely serious.
Arun got up and started walking towards her. Shweta looked at him and stopped in her tracks. He reached her before he knew what to say.
“Umm. Hi?.” She looked warily at him.
“You look beautiful today.” It was out before he could stop himself. That was not what he wanted to say.
“Thanks. You’re looking very handsome too.” She actually blushed as her eyes went to the floor.
He cleared his throat. “Would you like me to help you?”
“With what?” Her eyes darted to the girls around the room. They were gently closing in on the target.
“With stealing the shoes, of course!”
“You would do that?” Her full attention focused on Arun. He nearly came undone. He took a deep breath and turned.
“Chotu, Chintoo, come here.” His younger cousins looked at him in surprise. He wasn’t usually given to acknowledging them, leave alone speak with them. They both, stood curiosity written large on their faces.
“Come here.” He repeated. They looked at each other and walked to him. The girls quickly moved closer with the guards distracted.
“Have you met Dr. Shweta Karkare?” Arun indicated her. They were looking even more puzzled now as they shook their heads. The girls behind them sneaked out the shoes and ran away. “She is your new aunt Rahat’s best friend.” They politely shook hands with her.
“Ok. Now you met her. Go sit down.” The two looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders as they turned and walked away back to their seats. There was a commotion as Rahat entered the hall and began walking towards the mandap. She looked a radiant bride. All that planning for a perfect dress, jewellery, accessories and make up was worth it. Shweta was mesmerized by the pretty picture she made.
“I’m going to need your protection when they discover the shoes missing.” Arun had hooked his hand into her arm and was marching them away from the scene of the crime. He seemed to be circling through the crowds to the room at the back of the hall. Shweta soon caught onto what he meant to do and began to laugh.
“Don’t tell me the brave Major Rastogi, who took a bullet, is afraid of two teenage boys?” He smiled at her and walked right into the vacant room.
“I’m terrified. They can’t be shot at or defended against!” Peals of laughter coming from her had him smiling too.
“Considering that I just betrayed my family for you, shouldn’t you be more sympathetic to my plight.” Arun pretended to be hurt.
“I never asked for your help.” Her eyes were bright twinkling stars.
“No, but all’s fair in love and war.” Arun regretted the words the moment they were out of his mouth.
“So which is this?” Shweta had caught the slip.
“Huh?” He pretended not to understand her.
“Forget I asked.” Shweta looked down at her arm still hooked with his and gently eased back.
A
run was going crazy. Each time he seemed to make some progress with her, she would back away. He needed to know why. Now.
“Why do you do that?”
“What?”
“Why do you withdraw from me? From us? You’re sending mixed signals. Do you want me to be around you or not?”
“I’m sorry.” Shweta turned around and sat down on the couch. It sank beneath her, almost swallowing her up. The sofa cushion had obviously lost all firmness. It sank with her weight completely. Arun sat at the other end and it balanced out somewhat.
“I don’t mean to confuse you. I do enjoy your company. I just don’t want you to get the idea that it will go anywhere.”
He nodded his head in understanding. She was a young woman out to make a mark in her career. She was not out husband hunting. “You’re not looking for a serious relationship right now?”
“That’s part of it...” He stayed silent, focused on her. “I also don’t want to get involved with anyone from the Army.”
“Are you serious?” Of all the reasons he could have thought of her wanting to keep her distance, that was the very last one he would have imagined.
“Very.” Her voice was soft and he barely heard the next part. “I couldn’t survive it again.”
Arun’s heart sank. Had she loved and lost another boyfriend? Someone who used to be in the Army? Was that why she didn’t want to take a chance on him?
“You do know about my father, right?” Her eyes looked at him, pleading with him to understand.
“Your father?” His brow frowned.
“Wing Commander Ravi Karkare, Sena Medal, posthumous.” Her dead tone was enough to alert him to the world of pain it hid. As things clicked into place Arun understood who she was speaking about. He was barely listening to her speak as she explained the circumstances of his death, and then these words caught his attention.
“I made myself a promise that I would never love a defence officer. Army, Navy, Air Force. It doesn’t matter. If he wore a uniform, he was not the one for me.” She sounded so sad.
“Statistically speaking, with no war on right now, more people die in car accidents.” Arun tried to make her see how illogical her fear was.
“Logically speaking I know that. Unfortunately my heart, it won’t allow me the luxury of falling for someone in the forces. Even when my father was alive, we always came second. It was always the Air Force and his duty which was his prime concern.”
“Not all defence officers are like that. I know we have uncertain hours and field postings, but we do love our families.”
“My father loved us too. He even said so in his last communication with the Air Control Tower before he crashed. We heard him...” Her breath hitched as the old memories threatened to overwhelm her. Arun wanted to put his arms around her and comfort her, but instinctively knew his actions would not be welcome.
“I like you, Arun, I really do. I don’t want there to be any mixed signals between us. There’s just no way we can be anything but friends. I’m never going to get married to anyone in the Army and I am never going to have kids.”
She struggled a bit to get out of the couch. He got up and offered her his hand. She took it and managed to pull herself out of the couch. She walked to the door, “Come on, they must be nearly done with the ceremony by now”.
So that’s what it feels to have your heart broken. Arun rubbed his aching chest as they both heard the clapping outside. The wedding ceremony had been completed with the bride and groom exchanging garlands.
Arun and Shweta walked out of the room with a two foot distance between them. Neither of them exchanged a word for the rest of the day. There simply wasn’t anything he could think of saying to her.
o0o
11
The Conspiracy
o0o
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Wystan Hugh Auden
“Come on, man. You have to at least tell her how you feel.” Vishal had been badgering Arun for the last couple of hours. They were sitting at Thousand Oaks, the pub where they used to sneak into as youngsters. Two beer mugs and a pitcher lay on the table. Arun ate the peanuts from the bowl in front of him and took a sip from his mug. He was feeling quite mellow for a chap whose love story had ended before it began.
“I tried. She told me she would never consider me.” He threw a peanut at the potted plant in front of him. “Because I wear a uniform. The same damn uniform you said was a chick magnet. Seems like I have to go and fall for the one dame who is allergic to it. Aren’t you allergic to peanuts?”
“No I’m not. You are thinking about Raman.” Ashish was sipping his cola and looking rather relaxed for a change.
“Okay, let’s focus on the real problem. Here is what I think. If she won’t consider you a romantic prospect, you’ve got to become her friend.”
“She’ll never speak to me again.” Arun’s words were beginning to slur. He put his head in his hands and rested his elbows on the table in front of him.
“Oh, she will. You just have to convince her that you want to merely be friends with her. Not marry her.”
“But I want to marry her. I love her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her.” He swatted at Ashish as he took a video on his mobile phone. Ashish just leaned back in his chair out of range and smiled. This was gold. He foresaw many years of blackmail with this footage.
“You will marry her.” Vishal patted Arun’s shoulder in a drunk gesture of solidarity before bringing the beer mug to his mouth. “You just need to become her friend flirt, I mean first.”
“How do I tell her to be my friend?” Arun was back to staring in the distance and throwing peanuts to the potted plants. “She won’t even look at me any more.”
“That’s just cause you were ignoring her after the wedding. I saw you look away when she was looking at you.” Vishal shook his forefinger at Arun. “Now here’s what you are going to do. You are going to go to her home and apologize for being an ass. Then you are going to ask for her phone number.”
“Okay, while I appreciate what you are trying to do, Vishal, I don’t think Arun should go to her home to ask for her phone number just now. I doubt she will give it to him anyway.” Ashish was looking at possible solutions even as the phone continued to record. “You should apologize to her and make her feel guilty for thinking less of your chosen profession.”
“That’s just the bloody point. I don’t care about my profession.” Both his friends turned to look at his face, their expressions stunned.
“What do you mean?” Vishal actually sounded sober.
“I never wanted to be in the Army. You guys know me, not an aggressive bone in my body. I only joined up because of my father. The great Colonel Vijay Rastogi wanted his son to follow in the family tradition. And so I did.”
“Seriously? You didn’t want to join the Army?” Ashish looked as though he had been hit in the stomach by a football.
“Nope. Still don’t want to be there, but I’m stuck. The only way I can get out early is if I have a medical condition and they have to discharge me. Why do you think I keep volunteering for field postings in terrorist ridden areas? I’m hoping one day I’ll be shot up badly enough for the Army to let me go.”
Vishal and Ashish exchanged horrified looks before returning their attention to Arun. They literally could not believe their ears.
“That’s the only way I will ever be rid of the Army. I can’t apply for an early discharge or my father will have a coronary. The family honour must be upheld at all costs. My life was never my own. Why did I think things would be different when it came to love? I need to take a leak.” Arun got up and shuffled away towards the bathroom.
“We need to do something, bro. This is not good.” Ashish looked at Vishal. He’d stopped recording. “He can’t be seri
ous about wanting to die a heroic death to just be free of the Army, can he?”
“I never knew he hated being in the Army so much. I mean just look at the medals and commendations he’s earned.” Vishal shook his head. “You’re right, we need to do something to make sure the idiot doesn’t go and kill himself. He needs something to anchor him to life.”
“Do you suppose she would help?” Ashish wondered looking at the phone in his hand. “It can’t hurt to try. You have her number, don’t you?”
“Yes, I took some pictures at the wedding and she wanted me to share them with her. I knew Arun would never get up the courage to ask her for her number directly. We need to be careful about how we go about this. It can’t be too obvious a setup or she will spook. And if he ever gets to know we did this, he’ll kill both of us with his bare hands.”
“Like it or not he’s trained for the job.” Ashish smirked.
As Arun walked back to their table the two friends turned to look at him. He seemed a bit more steady on his feet but he looked as miserable as possible.
“Let’s talk about this later. We need to get him back to the hotel. He’s going to miss his flight tomorrow morning if he doesn’t wake up in time.” Vishal told Ashish as he dropped some notes on the table and got up. They made their way to Arun and escorted him to the car.
o0o
12
Country Before Self
o0o
Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.
We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.
Emily Dickinson
There wasn’t much to do once the unit moved into it’s location in the valley. To Arun it was a welcome break after the packing and shifting from Ambala. It may be one of the most beautiful places on earth, Paradise the poet Firdauz had called it, but currently it was also one of the most deadly. He was sharing a room with another officer. The accommodation was simple and the furniture basic. A hotel room it was not.
