by Coleen Kwan
“But there were other women before her, lots of women.” It hurt to say it, but she couldn’t avoid the truth.
His fingers dug into his arms. “I can’t change the past.”
“But there’s no future for us, either. You have your business in L.A., your television career, and—and I promised myself that, when the time was right and I was ready, I’d choose a completely different man from Rick. Someone older, more mature, someone settled and stable.”
“Jeez, you really want to end up with a boring old fart?”
She glared at him. “If the boring old fart will treasure me and love me, then yes! That’s what I want.”
“Well, good luck with that.”
“I don’t see why you’re getting so mad. We both knew our fling was just that—a fling. And that it was secret.”
He clenched and unclenched his jaw several times before slowly exhaling. “I guess I was hoping for something more, but you’ve put me in my place now. Don’t worry. I won’t tell Caleb. I don’t want to hurt him either.”
His face was drawn and pale. She’d hurt Derek. The realization made her heart contract.
“I’m sorry if I belittled you. I couldn’t think straight when Caleb was here. You know you’re not a nobody to me.”
She was almost pleading for understanding, but Derek’s stony eyes were unrelenting.
“I’ll see myself out.”
Derek moved toward the front door, and Hannah stepped aside. He left without another word.
Chapter Eleven
Derek returned to his granddad’s house, churned up and seething. He couldn’t remain in Otto’s company for long without exploding, so he got into his SUV. He drove out to the mountains like a man on the run and got booked for speeding, by the same grizzled cop who’d stopped him his first night back in Pine Falls.
“Keep this up, and you’ll be going to traffic school,” the police officer dourly predicted as he handed Derek the fine.
Bite me, Officer. Somehow Derek kept his mouth shut until Officer Grady left before letting out a string of curses. When he ran out of invectives, he hauled in a deep breath and forced himself to calm down.
He couldn’t really blame Hannah for saying those things about him to Caleb. Everything she said was true. He was going back to L.A. in a week’s time and wasn’t planning to return anytime soon. And he did have a history as a player. Marla was just the latest in a long line of women who had drifted in and out of his life. But since he’d seen Hannah again, his whole philosophy on women had undergone a seismic shift. Hannah wasn’t like the other women he’d fooled around with. Initially, he’d wanted to sleep with her because of his enduring crush on her, but since then his feelings had morphed into something more complex.
He liked being with her more than anyone else in the world. She was sensitive, sweet, and unselfish, and when she let her hair down she was a blast. He didn’t just want to have sex with her, he wanted to be with her all the time, share the good and the bad. But to her he was just a fling and one she wanted to keep secret from everyone, especially Caleb. And Caleb wasn’t the sole issue, because even before he’d shown up, Derek had stated he wanted more and she’d shot him down.
Derek uttered a deep sigh at the thought of Caleb. His oldest friend, the one who had taken the rap for him so he could have a brighter future.
One night, just before Hannah’s wedding, Derek and Caleb had been driving Caleb’s dad’s car. Derek had been behind the wheel. For weeks his mood had soured as the reality of Hannah’s wedding sunk in. He couldn’t think of anything besides the fact that Hannah was leaving. He’d been distracted, which was probably why he crashed the car. They’d emerged unhurt, but the car had been seriously damaged. Derek, already on thin ice with the law, would have faced juvenile detention, so Caleb had taken the blame for him because he had a clean record, and the most he’d face was a suspended license. Derek had been able to graduate from high school and go to L.A. He owed so much to his friend.
Caleb knew all his faults, knew his fast and loose ways with women. In Caleb’s shoes, Derek wouldn’t want his sister sleeping with a guy like him, either.
Crap. What a mess he was in.
His cell phone rang, and it seemed fate was rubbing it in his face because the call was from Caleb.
“Hey, I’m back in Pine Falls. Want to do something later today?” Caleb asked as soon as Derek answered.
Dammit. He wasn’t sure if he could face Caleb today, but he couldn’t think of an excuse.
“Uh, sure.”
“I gotta fix my washing machine sometime,” Caleb said with a laugh. “Don’t think I should be doing my laundry at my dad’s house anymore.”
Guilt made Derek’s gut cramp up. “Why don’t I help you fix it?”
“You sure? It’s a boring job.”
“I’ll be over in a couple of hours.”
Two hours should be enough for him to get his head straight. Then maybe he could work off the guilt with some honest sweat. At least it might stop him from brooding over Hannah.
“Ah, it’s good to put my feet up in my own living room.” Frank Willmett stretched out on the couch and laced his hands behind his head as he smiled at Hannah. “Don’t get me wrong. Traveling is great, but it’s nice to be home.”
“I’m glad you’re back,” Hannah replied as Rosalind bustled in with coffee for all of them. As soon as her stepmom had returned home, she’d taken charge of the kitchen. Not that Hannah minded, but it reinforced the fact that this wasn’t her home anymore.
“You look a bit under the weather,” Rosalind said to Hannah as she passed her a mug of coffee. “Been working hard?”
“Uh, yes.” But hard work wasn’t the cause of the knot in her stomach, which had been there ever since Caleb had walked in yesterday. Her brother was now sitting in the armchair opposite her.
“You poor thing.” With coffee mug in hand, Rosalind sat herself next to her husband on the couch. A faint crackling noise rose from the cushions. She shifted about, delved one hand behind her to find the source of the sound, and pulled out a small foil packet.
“Oh my!” Rosalind gasped.
Caleb choked on his coffee.
Hannah went stone cold. Her stepmom was holding a condom. An unused condom still in its wrapper, the bright foil shining in the sunlight. As her father and stepmom swiveled their eyes at her, hot embarrassment engulfed her. The condom must have slipped between the cushions when Derek had tossed his shirt on the couch, and gone unnoticed through the cleaning blitz she’d subjected the house to yesterday.
“Hannah?” Her father looked green around the gills.
Gathering the scraps of her composure, she rose to her feet and took the condom from Rosalind. “Oh, that’s where that went. I meant to put it in my purse before I went out with—with Amber, but I must have dropped it under the cushions. I’ll just put that somewhere safe.”
She headed for the door, but Rosalind called out, stopping her in her tracks.
“Excuse me, but you owe us an explanation.” Rosalind’s voice was higher than usual, almost shrill.
She turned to find Rosalind glaring at her. “I’m so sorry, Rosalind. I never meant—”
“We go away for a week, and you turn my house into a bordello!”
Her house? Pain and embarrassment twisted Hannah’s insides. She opened her mouth, preparing to apologize profusely, but before she could, Caleb had jumped between her and Rosalind and Frank.
“Now look here,” he blustered. “Hannah’s a grown woman, and she’s single now. She can have sex if she wants. That doesn’t make her a tramp.”
Both Rosalind and Frank turned bright red at the mention of sex.
“No one’s calling her a tramp,” Frank said stiffly. “But we don’t want her behaving…recklessly.”
“I haven’t been reckless.” Hannah pushed forward to face her disapproving parent. “It was only one guy, and it won’t happen again, I promise you.”
Frank and Rosa
lind exchanged glances. After always being the sensible one, she hated disappointing her dad, but clearly he and Rosalind were of the same mind.
“I hope it won’t,” Rosalind finally responded.
There was nothing more to say, so Hannah left the living room. She was surprised to find Caleb on her heels.
“Thanks for standing up for me,” she said awkwardly.
“I’m your brother.” He shrugged. “I’m not letting anyone imply you’re a tramp.”
“Oh, Caleb.” She leaned her head briefly on his shoulder. Right now, she needed his support more than ever, so it was a good thing he’d never find out about her and Derek.
Caleb patted her back. “Things will be better when you move into your new house.”
And when Derek went back to L.A. But somehow that didn’t make her feel as relieved as she’d hoped.
“Easy there. Up a bit your side,” Derek said to Caleb as they maneuvered the double bed into Hannah’s tiny bedroom.
Hannah was moving into her new house, and Caleb had roped Derek in to help. Derek found himself in a dilemma. On the one hand, he really wanted to help Hannah, but on the other, he didn’t know how he would go spending several hours with her and Caleb and pretending nothing had ever happened. Hannah seemed to find the situation just as awkward because she was constantly running about, and whenever they were left alone, she darted off on some other chore.
“Where do you want this bed?” Caleb hollered to his sister.
She poked her head in. “Against that wall, otherwise I won’t be able to open the closet.”
Derek helped Caleb nudge the bed into position. He gazed down at the bed, and his imagination conjured a picture of him lying there with Hannah in his arms. Glancing up, he caught Hannah’s eye, and her cheeks colored as if she knew exactly what he was thinking.
Caleb shook his head. “I didn’t realize this place was so small. You sure you’ll be okay here? I do have a spare room at my place.”
“Thanks, but no thanks. I didn’t move back to Pine Falls to pick your socks off the floor again. Besides, you don’t want your older sister cramping your style with the ladies.”
“True. And we all know my prowess with the ladies.” Caleb winked at his sister before transferring his attention to Derek. “Speaking of ladies, I’m seeing one tonight, and she happens to have a friend visiting. You want to double date?”
Derek quickly shook his head. “No, don’t think so.”
“Aw, come on. I’ve met the friend before, and she’s really hot, and she’s dying to meet you, bro. You’d go for her, I guarantee.”
Out of the corner of his eye Derek noticed Hannah looking slightly sick. Damn, he hated this subterfuge. The only woman he wanted to go out with was the one in front of him, and she wouldn’t admit to sleeping with him.
“Sorry, dude. I’m not interested.”
“Not interested in hot chicks? What’s got into you?”
Why can’t Caleb shut the hell up? “I must be getting old,” he tried to quip.
“Must be.” Caleb shook his head in disappointment. “Oh, well, I tried. I’d better get my power drill so we can hang up the blinds.” He exited the room, leaving Derek alone with Hannah.
“Sorry about that,” he muttered, pushing his hands into the back pockets of his jeans.
“You don’t have to apologize,” she quickly answered.
A pause developed. Derek didn’t know what to say.
“Caleb told me about the condom fiasco.” The words came out before he knew it had happened. He felt himself flushing. Damn. Way to go making her feel comfortable.
“The condom fiasco.” Her cheeks were just as red. “That’s one way of putting it.”
“I’m sorry about that too. It was my fault.”
She glanced over her shoulder, no doubt to check on Caleb’s whereabouts. “It’s okay. Makes a change to be thought of as the wild one in my family.”
He wasn’t okay. When Caleb had told him, he’d felt all kinds of guilty and had just barely kept himself from confessing the truth. Before he could say anything further, Caleb returned, and the conversation turned to more mundane things.
They were all having a coffee break in the living room when Caleb waved at the small TV set.
“You need a big screen to watch football,” he said.
“I don’t watch football,” Hannah said.
“What if I want to bring around my Xbox?”
“Why would you do that?”
“I saw how you liked that dance game we played the other week. We could have dance offs every Sunday.”
“Sounds like fun.” Hannah’s gaze shifted and locked with Derek’s. She was thinking the same thing he was, reliving their ‘Moves Like Jagger.’ But she wouldn’t be dancing with him; he’d be back in L.A. His throat tightened at the prospect of being so far away from her and Caleb and the moments they shared.
His cell phone rang. When he saw the Caller ID, he couldn’t help frowning. Marla Beaudry. She’d sent him several text messages yesterday asking him to call her, but he hadn’t. He didn’t want anything to do with her anymore. But he couldn’t just cut her off cold, so he excused himself, moved to the kitchen, and answered reluctantly.
“Hey, Marla.”
“Hey, handsome,” she drawled into his ear. “Why haven’t you called?”
“I’ve been busy.”
“Well, I need your help. You’re a witness when that fricking photographer stalked me, and my lawyer thinks you can help me beat the rap.”
Derek’s heart sank. “I thought you were just going to plead no contest.”
“I don’t want to if there’s a chance the charges might be dropped. Please, honey bun. Do this for me. For old times’ sake.”
Her sugary tone scraped on his nerves, and he wondered what he’d ever seen in her. But that slimeball photographer had provoked her, and he couldn’t let her sink.
He sighed. “I’ll be back in L.A. on the weekend. Call me next week, and we’ll talk about it.”
“I knew I could count on you,” Marla gushed. “We gotta hang out again. A friend of mine’s opening a new club soon. I’ll take you there.”
No thanks. He’d help her, but that would be the end of their relationship. He muttered something noncommittal and ended the conversation. When he walked back into the living room, Caleb lifted a questioning eyebrow.
“We couldn’t help overhearing you were talking to Marla Beaudry.” Caleb winked at him. “Can’t wait to get back to L.A., huh?”
Hannah didn’t say anything. She seemed more interested in straightening her books on the shelf.
“Uh, I’m just helping her out with her arrest.”
“That’s noble of you.”
“I’m a noble guy.” He tried to make light of it.
Hannah turned to face him, her hands on her hips. “If you’ve finished chatting with your Hollywood pals, maybe you can bring in my armchair.”
Was she a tiny bit jealous? He didn’t know why that put a spring in his step, but it did.
Hannah gazed at the rows of cereals in front of her, wondering what she’d come into the store to buy. She was so tired. More than that, her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton wool, and her stomach felt crampy and bloated. For days she’d been like death scarcely warmed up. It must be moving into her new house that had done this to her, she reasoned. She was still settling in, everything seemed strange, and there were lots of little jobs that needed doing, like those shelves in the kitchen.
Yes, these were all reasons for being so out of sorts, but she couldn’t lie to herself that the chief cause was Derek.
He was leaving tomorrow, and all week her internal organs had slowly been twisting tighter and tighter as the days ticked down. She never imagined she’d feel this depressed about him going.
She picked up a box of cereal at random and dropped it in her shopping basket. She and Caleb were supposed to be meeting Derek tonight at Jimmy’s for a farewell drink, but she d
idn’t know how she’d be able to act normally. She was totally confused about her feelings for Derek. At first he’d just been a wicked one-night stand to boost her morale, but now there seemed to be more.
She moved into the next aisle and grabbed the first jar of peanut butter she saw. Sure, Derek had had plenty of lovers, but wasn’t there something special between them? After all, he wouldn’t have suggested she visit him in L.A. if it had just been a casual hookup for him. They were friends; they shared a past history. And in bed they had a beautiful sexual chemistry. Couldn’t friendship and sexual attraction morph into something more? Sure, there were stumbling blocks, like Caleb, and her lingering fear of putting her trust in another man, but they weren’t insurmountable if their feelings for each other were strong enough.
Feelings. Was she talking about love? Apprehension crawled over her. Could a handsome, sexy, successful twenty-four-year-old man with a budding TV career really fall in love with an ordinary, broke, going-on-thirty divorcee struggling to put her life together? Not likely. This was real life, not a romance novel.
A burst of giggles from across the store made her look up. A group of three women, acting all excited, were clustered around a tall, dark-haired man at one of the checkouts. The man turned to smile at them, and Hannah’s stomach lurched. It was Derek, surrounded by a trio of fans—a well-kept woman with blonde highlights and her two teenage daughters. They were all over Derek, who laughed and posed for photos with them before sauntering out of the store.
“Wow, Mom,” one of the teenagers said, gazing after Derek. “He’s sooo hot. I’ll have to watch that show of yours.” She was already busy on her phone. “I’m posting him on Instagram. Hashtag mancandy.”
Hannah spun away. Derek and women. Women adored him, and he didn’t discourage the attention. He probably got hit on all the time.
Her throat burned, her stomach heaved, her knees shook. Damn, was she going to be sick right here in the store?
“Hannah?” As if out of nowhere, Amber appeared before her. “Hey, what’s up? You look like you’re gonna throw up.”
She took Hannah’s arm, and her reassuring grip steadied Hannah. She breathed in deeply several times. “I’m okay,” she said eventually.
