“We’ll also be leaving,” Sarah’s mother said.
Sarah chatted during their ride to her apartment, but her words didn't register in his mind. His conversation with Andrew and the melody Sarah had created filled his thoughts. He parked the car outside her building and walked Sarah to her door. Normally he would enter the parlour and place a fresh log on the fire. Instead, he remained at the doorway.
“You’re quiet this evening. I’m reminded of the man I first became acquainted with. I appreciate the number of strangers in attendance, but we’re alone now. Please, join me inside,” she pleaded. “Speak with me.”
“Andrew spoke of the guest this evening. Were you offered a position, a contract?” he asked, his tone intentionally cold.
“Damn, Andrew.”
Alex crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You weren’t planning to discuss your career, yet you are adamant when stating the importance of communication.”
“I love you, Alex, and value your opinion, but this is my decision.”
Sarah reached for his hand and led Alex out of the entranceway and into the adjoining room. Once on the sofa, she turned to face him.
“I was offered a contract, but I didn’t accept the position. I will be contacted within a week to confirm my decision.”
You declined? No-o-o. “Sarah! You must accept the offer. If this had been discussed, I would have encouraged you to accept. We would be celebrating your achievement.”
She shook her head and exhaled. “It’s obvious Andrew did not explain the details of the contract.”
“The details? You will be performing at this hall. Captivating the audience the way you did this evening.”
She pursed her lips together and shook her head. “No. If I were to accept this position, I would commit myself, dedicate my life to my music. It would involve a great deal of travel. If tickets can be sold, I would be travelling the world to perform. It would be difficult to see you or my family more than a few times a year.”
Travelling outside the area never entered his mind. We won’t see each other. Turning his head away from hers, he didn’t want Sarah to see the anguish in his expression. The tears forming in his eyes. It would be selfish to expect Sarah give up her career for a life with him. His world changed when Sarah entered his life. Now, it would change again, be turned upside down while she fulfilled her dream.
“A year?” He placed his hand over his mouth to hide his shock.
“A year,” she repeated.
His heart tore to pieces. He didn’t want to live his life without Sarah, yet her passion for the piano was equal to his passion for the orphanage. Performing, becoming professional, was within her grasp. As much as he loved her, he would step back and allow her to be a professional pianist. Sarah deserved it and the world deserved the opportunity to hear her.
“Playing by John’s side, I would have accepted the offer with enthusiasm, but my life has been transformed. This has been on my mind the entire week. Having lost love and then been given a second opportunity for companionship in my life, I’m not willing to risk losing you.”
His emotions were mixed. He didn’t want to lose Sarah, but he had to persuade her to accept the offer.
“Having watched and listened to you play, I know the passion for music that exists within your soul.” Although it was difficult, he managed to keep his voice steady. “You have been offered an extraordinary opportunity.”
“Alex, please,” she begged.
“Being aware of the talent you possess, I will not allow you to decline the offer. You would be celebrating if I hadn’t entered your life. You possess a gift.”
“I do not recall asking your opinion.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks. “The decision is mine, and one I alone will live with.” She wiped her cheeks, stared toward the ceiling, and took a breath. She looked into his eyes. “When God brought John into my life, I was too young to appreciate how privileged I was to be loved until I lost him. You walked into the mercantile and I knew God had not forgotten me. Perhaps your emotions are not as strong. You are not aware how special our relationship has become.”
“My heart is breaking, but I can’t live with myself if you spend the remainder of your life regretting your decision. Please Sarah. Accept the contract.”
“How can I? Our relationship won’t survive this. Perhaps when you spoke of your relationship with Christine and Elaine, you overestimated your emotions. It’s possible you will forget I existed within a day or two, but I will never forget you.”
“No. It would be impossible to forget you. No one has entered my heart like you have.”
“But you’re still willing to end our relationship?”
He gripped her hands. “I’m not ending it. I’m encouraging you to fulfil your aspirations. I will cherish every moment we’re able to share.”
“You’re a fool to believe this relationship will survive my absence. After laying with you, I crave your physical touch.”
“As I do yours, but—”
She pulled her hands away from his. “No. You’re not listening.”
“I am listening, but I’ll be happy knowing you’re happy.”
“You will move on with another woman and I will live with regret. I love you, Alexander Stewart Venderkemp. I’m unable to imagine a life without you.”
Alex looked into her watery eyes and wiped her tears with his thumbs. Leaning forward, he kissed her forehead and then held her. He had never experienced such emotions. Alex clenched his eyes shut, attempting to stop the tears.
“Your career will soar beyond your expectations. You will become a member of high society, keeping company with nobility.” It was a lifestyle Elaine wanted, but he had no interest in. “Why weren’t you offered this before we met? My heart would not be breaking. Yours wouldn’t be breaking.”
Alex stared at the floor, unable to stop his tears that dripped onto his shirt. Tired of arguing, his mind was swimming. He was exhausted but he had to think. Without looking at Sarah, he kept his voice lowered.
“If she declines this offer, to continue building our relationship and regrets her decision, I will never forgive myself. It’s doubtful she will receive a second contract with another offer. A life without Sarah? No. I want her in my life. I want her in my home and especially my bed.”
Her hands gripped his forearms and she pushed herself away from his embrace.
“Alex?”
I vocalized those words. No. How could I be so stupid? After hours of rehearsing the conversation in his mind, Alex had not anticipated the discussion would occur during a disagreement.
He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. “My humble apologies. Those words were not meant for your ears. Not this evening.”
“I’m not going to pretend I didn’t hear you.”
“I can’t deny my desire to have you in my life. In a perfect world, you would be in my arms as I fall asleep, and I would wake every morning to see your beautiful face, but this contract—”
“The dream belonged to John. When I met him, he aspired to be a concert pianist, and sharing a common interest, we spoke of travelling the world. John cherished every moment on stage, knowing he had a captive audience and put his heart and soul into his music. I sat on the stool this evening and closed my eyes. John was with me. He was present. I attempted to fulfill our goal of playing together. I love creating music and would have moved heaven and earth to ensure my husband’s happiness, and to remain close to him. When John passed away, I considered quitting, but that would have disappointed him, even in memory. It was imperative I was able to see you in the audience this evening and also to sense his strength.”
Alex never uttered a sound when she paused.
“I’m not shy, but I’m not comfortable performing with such a large audience present. Us being together, gave me the strength to play. My nerves became agitated when my instructor Martin told me I’d be performing to a building filled to capacity. Andrew’s goal is for
me to become a pianist, to live John’s dream, but it is not mine. Eventually, my brother will accept my decision and John will smile knowing I’m happy.”
“Sarah! You’re wasting your talent. I’m unable to imagine the opportunities you would be given.”
“Alex, I heard the words you whispered. I’ve been hoping you would ask me to become….” Sarah stopped. Her eyes filled and more tears ran down her cheeks. “You never used the term marriage or any phrase to suggest I would become your wife.”
It broke his heart to see the pain in her eyes but nothing had changed. He avoided looking at her. “I wish I were able to propose marriage.”
“What’s stopping you? I love you. I’m certain you have developed feelings for me.”
“You know I have.”
“But you won’t marry me?”
He reached for Sarah’s hands, searching for the words to explain his emotions. The reasons for his reluctance.
“Sarah, if you were to become my wife, moved into my home, and cried day and night, you would regret your decision and grow to despise me. I cannot risk that.”
“It would be impossible to regret that decision. I love you.”
“You’re not accustomed to living in an orphanage. I live with my family and a large number of young children. Volunteers and staff are in the building.”
“Without a commitment, I could find myself homeless,” she mumbled. “You’re able to leave my possessions outside the private entrance. It was difficult when John passed. I cannot experience the same heartache, attempting to restart my life again. You haven’t had a committed relationship. After your heartache with Elaine, you had your home and career.”
Alex forgot he was arguing to persuade Sarah to accept the contract. She needed reassurance. If she was unable to live in his home, he would ensure she had money in her pocket and found a home. His family would assist. That wasn’t questioned, but it never entered his mind to speak of the finances, of the trust fund, Nana Natasha’s heritage or Papa Stewart’s business.
“Sarah, if you’re not happy in my home, I will assist you financially until you settle.”
“You are not in the position to make that promise.”
He placed his hands on her cheeks and looked into her bloodshot eyes.
“Sarah, as God as my witness, you have my word. If you are not comfortable living at the orphanage, I will assist in your search for a reasonable apartment. I will not lose you from my life. I will telephone you every evening and you will be welcomed to dine with my family.”
“You shared Elaine’s bed, but still avoid seeing her. You shared a strong bond with Christine, yet have not attempted to re-establish a friendship. Based on your history, we would not remain friends or acquaintances. I’m terrified I’m going to lose you.”
“That scares me too. I pray to God you’re happy living under my roof.” Alex leaned forward and gave her a gentle kiss. “I plan to ask you to become my wife once I’m certain we’re both happy.”
Sarah looked toward the ceiling.
“Dear God. Help me find the words when speaking with my parents. I can’t fathom this conversation.” A light smile transformed her face. “I love you, Alexander Stewart Venderkemp. I hope I can work my way deep into your heart.”
“You’re agreeing? You plan to join me in my home?”
“I am.”
So ecstatic, Alex wanted to jump for joy, but he held himself back. “Sarah, you must assure me. If you are not happy, speak with me.”
“You have my assurance, but I don’t doubt I will love your home. I love you.”
“If you wake in the morning regretting your decision and decide to accept the contract and become a professional pianist, I will support your decision. The fee for the use of the telephone will be atrocious, but I’ll cherish hearing your voice and be waiting for your return with open arms.”
“The only regret I’d ever have would be declining your offer.”
Hearing the conviction in her voice, Alex kissed her. Seconds later, her body was lowered onto the sofa.
“Alex. There are more comfortable locations.”
Alex stood and guided Sarah into the next room.
* * *
Alex and Sarah arrived at the orphanage early the next morning. Once the children were fed and settled, Alex drove toward her parents’ home. As suggested, he took her parents’ dog outside and played with their golden lab. Through the open window, Alex could hear their voices. I should be by her side, supporting her. I love her parents as my own. It seemed to take an eternity, but her parents walked outside with Sarah with smiles on their faces. Whether those smiles were truly genuine, Alex couldn't be certain, but they accepted her decision. Leaving her parents home, Alex steered the car towards Andrew's residence. Sitting by Sarah's side in their parlour, Andrew was vocal and adamant in his opinion.
“You are a fool, Sarah. You have practiced your entire life to be able to perform. Now that that dream is within your grasp … what you are thinking? You're not thinking.”
Ingrid didn't utter a sound. Alex stared at his clasped hands.
“It is my life, Andrew. My decision. Not yours.”
It was a short visit, but it seemed to last forever.
Getting into the car, Alex reached over and gripped Sarah's hand.
“Are you happy?” he questioned. “You can still change your mind. I’ll support you.”
She squeezed his hand. “I’ve made the only decisions I can live with.”
Monday morning, Sarah gave notice to her superintendent before leaving for work. Given the travel time between the orphanage and the mercantile, she asked her boss for a decrease in her hours. They agreed upon one day a week.
Two weeks later, Alex and Sarah finished loading her boxes into the wagon, left her apartment and Alex guided the horses to her parents’ house. After dinner, they were enroute to their home. Once at the orphanage, Alex grabbed one suitcase and reached for her hand. Approaching the building, an awful clanging sound greeted them.
“You didn’t tell me you own musical instruments.”
“We do not. I must assume it’s a new toy. Perhaps something donated by a volunteer or resident from the area. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but that is dreadful. I will personally destroy it.” The noise became louder. “What is the matter with my family? Their tolerance for that clangy noise is far stronger than mine.”
Alex opened the door to the private parlour and saw his poppa sitting at a baby grand piano, clinking away. He doesn’t possess an ounce of musical talent. Poppa looked at them, stopped playing, and then smiled. It dawned on Alex. His family had given Sarah a gift. The best gift possible. Music. Alex focused on Sarah as she stared in awe at the instrument. His grandfather rose from his chair, walked to them, and kissed Sarah’s hand.
“It was a pleasure hearing you play. This family would be honoured—privileged to hear you again. It is my hope this instrument will allow that to happen, on a regular basis. Welcome to your new home.”
“It’s true. They bought Sarah a piano,” he mumbled. Alex attempted to swallow, but the lump in his throat made that task impossible. “Sarah will be able to play daily.” His heart filled with pride.
“I’m humbled by the offer, but I am unable to accept this exquisite gift.”
“Sarah, if you are not willing to play, it will be left to the children … and … well … heaven forbid, my husband,” Momma remarked. “My nerves will not tolerate such clanging. Alex did not show an appreciation for lessons in his youth, but the people in this building would be privileged to hear the music you are capable of creating.”
Tears raced down Sarah cheeks. Tears of happiness. Putting his arms around her, Alex held Sarah’s head against his chest. He looked around the room at his family and mouthed the words ‘thank-you.’
Once she regained her composure, she wiped the wet streaks from her cheeks and turned her head while remaining in Alex’s arms.
“I don’t possess the wo
rds. I am unable to show the extent of my gratitude.”
“I have two requests,” Papa Stewart told her. “That you will honour us with the angelic sound you are capable of creating, quite regularly.”
“It would be my pleasure, but you stated two requests.”
“Keep that smile on my grandson’s face.”
When Papa winked at them, Sarah turned and looked into his eyes. Beaming with pride and happiness, Alex smiled.
“I will try.” She turned her attention back to his papa. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”
Sarah walked over to each member of his family and gave them a big hug as Alex grinned.
After settling the children for the evening, Alex walked down the attic steps. He noticed Sarah in the hospital ward, reading a story to a five year old boy. Alex sat on the edge of the bed and listened while Sarah finished. The young boy struggled to keep his eyes open.
“Don’t fight the sandman, Joseph. Sleep well.”
Alex touched the boy’s head and then took Sarah by the hand and led her down the hallway, unlocking the door to the addition.
“Alex, your family. They are so close.”
“I was conceived, born, and raised in this section. The addition was designed with the knowledge my parents would share a home with Papa Stewart and Izabella. I assure you both have enjoyed … well, it’s obvious, isn’t it?”
“My word. I cannot imagine my parents….” she mumbled.
“Living in my home, you will witness the love and admiration both couples share. The look in their eyes and more than an occasional embrace. It does not occur in front of the children, but it will occur in our presence.”
“I’ve never seen my parents show affection. What if they hear … us?”
“That’s doubtful, but they will know we’re happy.” He closed the door to the room they now shared.
The following morning, Alex rolled over and watched Sarah sleep. It had been an interesting evening. Sarah was so excited and eager to play the piano, she wasn’t the least bit tired when they went to bed. She was more than a little uncomfortable in his home. They snuggled in bed and talked until they fell asleep. Ready to rise and shine, Alex unfolded himself from the sheets, dressed and then left their room. Once on the main level, he went into the parlour to examine the piano. Eventually, he worked his way back into the dining area and into the kitchen.
Natasha's Legacy Page 12
