Sarah was quiet, barely touching the food on her plate.
“Are you not well?” Alex asked.
“I’m tired.”
* * *
A couple of hours later, Alex walked down the staircase after settling the children for the night. Humming the melody from the piano, he entered the office. With his paperwork completed, he walked through the kitchen and into the parlour. Sarah did not acknowledge his presence when he kissed the back of her head.
“It’s getting late and I know you’re tired. I’m going to bed. Are you planning to join me?” She didn’t respond. “Sarah?” he questioned, his voice a little louder.
“My apologies, goodnight.” Her voice lacked any emotion.
Alex recalled the same tone in her voice in the days leading to the concert. Having listened to her play while in the office, the melody was different, not the usual angelic sound. This evening, she lacked passion while playing. She barely touched her meal. Something must be wrong. He sat on the bench, one leg on either side.
“Sarah, you disappeared today. Speak with me,” he pleaded. “What’s wrong?” Her hands dropped to her lap but she didn’t look at him. She didn’t make a sound. Could her silence have something to do with Uncle Joshua passing? No, that isn’t possible, Sarah never met him. Sarah had visited her parents. He had forgotten to inquire about them.
“I am aware you spoke with your parents. Are they not well?”
“They’re fine.”
“Sarah, speak with me,” he pleaded. “It pains me to see you grieve. If it’s possible for me to help, I’ll do, anything.”
Sarah’s attempted to avoid looking at him, but her eyes were glossy with tears.
“Sarah?” he questioned.
She turned to face him. “May I ask a question?”
“Anything.”
“Your relationship with Elaine ended when you spoke of your desire to remain at the orphanage.”
Alex nodded. They hadn’t seen Elaine since the day the women went shopping. He didn’t expect to see her at the orphanage again. Why is Elaine on Sarah’s mind? “Yes.”
“Was she aware of your Nana Natasha’s heritage or Papa Stewart’s business?”
“No. I didn’t tell her. To this day I am grateful I didn’t.” His words brought a stream of tears racing down her cheeks. Alex’s mind drifted to a conversation with his momma shortly after Sarah moved into the orphanage. He promised to speak with Sarah. That conversation never took place. Bile formed in his throat. No. No. How could I be so stupid? How is it possible I have forgotten to discuss my heritage with Sarah? Alex closed his eyes and placed his hands over his face. During his relationship with Elaine, he avoided discussing Papa Stewart and Nana Natasha, but had intended to speak with Sarah once she joined him in his home.
Earlier in the day, during Uncle Marcus’s visit, everything had been discussed in Sarah’s presence. She has every reason to be upset. “My humble, humble apologies,” he whispered.
Straddling the piano bench, Alex placed one hand on Sarah’s shoulder and the other on her cheek, attempting to force her to look at him. She clenched her eyes shut as the tears continued to pour down her cheeks. She opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling.
“Why did I return to this building? When John passed, I missed him. I missed his friendship and prayed to God every night. I thought God granted me a soul mate when we became acquainted. Obviously, I was far too eager to fall in love.”
“We are soul mates, Sarah.”
“That’s what I’ve always wanted, but obviously it hasn’t occurred.” She tilted her head down and stared at the piano keys. “If only I could step back in time. I would stop John from travelling that day. We would be together and happy. I miss John and the love we shared.” Her focus shifted back to the ceiling. “Please God, please find it in your heart to bring my husband back to me.”
Alex clenched his fingers into fists, struggling to breathe. It was impossible to cause her more pain. Then Sarah stood. She’s leaving me.
* * *
“You are a brute for punishment, Alex. Poor Sarah,” Keeghan groaned. “I can’t imagine what’s she’s feeling.”
“What a day she’s having,” Will admitted before turning and looking at Alexander. Constable let out a soft whimper.
“I know, Constable. What was I thinking?” Alexander petted her back. With his free hand, Alex pointed back at the screen.
Chapter Ten
“Sarah, please. Let me explain.”
She placed her hand on the edge of the piano to steady herself and then looked at him. “There is nothing to say. I believed with all my heart my love had the strength to … no. Love must be reciprocated.”
Sarah turned and walked toward the door. Alex jumped from the piano bench and darted after her. Reaching out, he grabbed Sarah’s arm to stop her.
“Don’t touch me,” she warned. She turned and met him with a piercing glare.
Alex released his grip. Shifting his body ahead of hers, he stood in front of the doorway. With his hands behind his body, he gripped the doorframe to steady himself. He looked into her eyes.
“Please,” he begged, his voice cracking. “Don’t walk out that door before allowing me the opportunity to speak.”
“Communication is important, but so is trust. You don’t trust me. Our relationship means nothing to you.”
“That is not true. Nothing is more important than your happiness.”
“Please move,” she begged.
“I can’t. I won’t. Not until I talk to you.”
Shifting his eyes toward the ceiling, Alex shook his head, furious with himself for the oversight. “I’m a bloody fool,” he said and then looked into her eyes. “How is it possible I forgot to discuss such important topics? We have thoroughly discussed the Venderkemps, but not Momma’s heritage.”
The tears continued to fall from Sarah’s red, bloodshot eyes. Alex placed the edge of his thumbs on her cheeks and wiped the wet streaks. She pulled her head from his touch and crossed her arms in front of her chest. With both hands back on the doorframe, his heart pounded. Please, help me find the words. He inhaled deeply.
“I intended to discuss my heritage when you moved into our home. I’m ashamed to admit, our lives became … occupied with life and it slipped my mind. You must believe that.”
He watched for a reaction, but Sarah never moved. Her arms remained crossed in front of her chest. Hoping she was listening, he continued.
“Allowing you to enter my life was difficult after Elaine. I didn’t believe it was possible for a woman to be willing to spend her life here. But I can’t fathom another life for myself. We became acquainted but I didn’t trust my heart or my head. When I met your brother and discovered Andrew’s occupation, I was … my God … terrified. After listening to the conversation with my uncle, you are now aware my family … we’re not poor. Once I was certain your affection was sincere, I allowed my feelings to develop.” Alex paused and took a deep breath. Sarah did not attempt to get past him. She was listening.
“Nana Natasha.” He stopped. “How do I describe a woman I never met, but whose death moulded my family?” He knew the story, but could he keep the facts straight? Given the emotions of the evening, it was questionable. His papa would willingly discuss his life with Nana Natasha.
“Years ago, Momma and Papa Stewart were approached with an offer to reside at the castle. They declined that invitation. I admire them for that decision and will until my last breath. Momma’s uncle has ruled for a number of years, yet within these walls, he’s family. He is not treated any differently than Aunt Vicki or Uncle Greg.”
Pausing, Alex used his thumbs to wipe the wet streaks from Sarah’s face. “Growing up in an orphanage, I never considered our family wealthy. Our wealth exists in the love we share. I felt privileged knowing we had a roof over our heads, food on the table, and that Rose and I were given an education. I’d entered my teens before I learned of Momma’s heritage.”
Alex stopped. He hoped to see a sign of a smile on Sarah’s face, but that did not occur.
“With his father’s assistance, my papa started a business. With their joint talent and expertise, it became the success you know of today. Papa Stewart and Momma shared a home with Aunt Vicki and Uncle Greg until they moved into this building. Business wasn’t discussed in their home. That rule applies to this day. I’m proud of Papa Stewart, but I’m equally proud of Papa and Nana Venderkemp. This orphanage has a reputation and I’m proud to bear their name. I will continue to put my heart and soul into this business, assisting the children to find loving homes.”
“Alex, I appreciate hearing of your heritage, but I was humiliated earlier today, in front of Prince Marcus. More than once.”
Alex closed his eyes. He hated hearing Sarah refer to his uncle so formally. She should have been using the term ‘uncle’.
“I questioned whether Prince Marcus was making a donation or wishing to adopt. I didn’t know Papa Stewart, a man I have grown to love and admire like my own grandfather, was a respected entrepreneur. I should have enquired. I don’t know why I didn’t, but you never discussed it. You are so comfortable discussing every aspect of your life with your family, but in my company, you struggle. I would never intentionally hurt you. I love you. Having given you my heart, my soul, and my body, I have nothing left to give … Money and social status? If I wasn’t so hurt that would be comical. I am living in this building, teaching students and putting savings aside, just in case, God forbid, this family runs into financial difficulty. If those things were important to me, social status and money….” She put her hands on her head.
“May I remind you, I declined an offer to travel the world? An opportunity to meet people of influence and earn an incredible amount of money! I chose to remain with you.” Sarah’s sobbing stopped her, but Alex remained silent, encouraging her to continue.
“I would teach piano every waking hour of the day to support this business you love. In return, you have absolutely no faith in my love. In your mind, I’m a common prostitute, giving you my body on a very regular basis.”
He shook his head. He made so many errors. He had planned to take Sarah out to dinner and ask her to be his wife, but had procrastinated. Now, he had so many regrets. This was not an appropriate time to propose.
“I regret moving into your home,” she admitted. “I question whether you will ever fall in love with me.”
That comment stunned him. “Sarah, how could you question my feelings?”
“I will not discuss this.” She whimpered and covered her face with her hands.
Alex placed his hands on her wrists and gently pulled her hands down. “Talk to me. Explain that comment,” he ordered.
She took a deep breath and calmed her voice before continuing.
“I vividly recall the first time we were intimate. After I told you I love you, you responded by stating you would not say those words unless you were certain of your emotions. I have never heard you say those words.” Sarah sobbed. Her glassy eyes continued to shed tears. “Now it’s impossible for me to be certain of your feelings.”
“You must be mistaken.”
“I’m not mistaken, having prayed I would hear those words from your lips. I have heard the statement ‘you know I do’ and ‘the feeling is mutual,’ but you have yet to say those three words. I’m out of patience. Perhaps you would be happier with another woman.”
“No-o-o,” he winced, shaking his head.
“Do you recall when you last used the term ‘I love you’? Were you gazing into Elaine’s eyes? In my heart, I question whether you’re still in love with her.”
Alex shook his head very slowly from side to side. “There isn’t an ounce of my being that misses her.”
“I never wanted to have this discussion, but if you’re not happy, I will pack my bags and leave. I have some savings from teaching. If I approach Martin at the conservatory, he will allow me a room to teach.”
With tears streaming down his face, he placed his hands on her cheeks. “I’ve hurt you and will spend the remainder of my life apologizing. Don’t leave me. I love you, Sarah. I’m in love with you,” he whispered.
“Truly?” she asked.
She’s questioning my words and she’s right to do so, given my timing. “I love you with all my heart and soul. I need you. I want you in my life.”
Her sobbing intensified. Alex put his arms around her and held her tight.
“I love you.” He stepped back from the embrace, wiped the tears from her cheeks and gave her a gentle kiss. “I’m not complaining, but if I’m to receive salty kisses, I want them to be tears of happiness. I love you, Sarah.” He took a deep breath and exhaled. “Now, I plan to go upstairs. I’d like you to join me while I visit Papa Stewart.”
“Oh my gosh. Not this evening.” She put her hands over her face. “I must look dreadful.”
“You’re not capable of looking dreadful. I don’t want to wait a moment longer. Tonight, Papa Stewart will speak of his life with Nana Natasha.”
Alex led Sarah up the private steps and knocked on the slightly opened door.
After a long conversation, Alex followed Sarah out of the sitting room. She had the diary clenched to her chest. They crawled into bed and talked and talked.
He intended for the evening to end with a goodnight kiss. It was late, well past the hour he would normally be sleeping, but the kiss turned into much more. By the position of the moon, he’d be lucky to get two or three hours sleep, but they were both smiling and happy and very content.
* * *
Stewart closed the door to the hallway and followed Izabella into their bedroom.
“I had assumed Alex spoke of his heritage some time ago,” he admitted. They pulled down the sheets to their bed.
“I cannot imagine Sarah’s state of mind. Sitting with Marcus, a man who might intimidate her, and then to learn he was related to the man she loves. I’m no longer surprised Sarah left the property for a few hours. I’m relieved she returned.”
“As am I. I hope Alex has learned a valuable lesson about communication with people he loves.”
Stewart, Izabella, Hope, and Adam were enjoying their morning coffee when Alex entered the room. Dressed for the day, he wiped the sleep from his eyes, still struggling to wake up. Stewart was reminded of his young grandson when he woke from an afternoon nap. Normally Sarah would greet them and continue to the parlour to play the piano until breakfast was served, but he didn’t see her.
“Where is Sarah?”
“She didn’t stir when I crawled out of bed. She’s sleeping.”
Izabella chuckled. It was apparent neither had received adequate sleep.
“Given the sleepy blue shade of your eyes, may I suggest an afternoon nap,” Stewart remarked.
“I can only pray it’s a quiet day. That Tom can manage so I can escape for a few hours.” Alex yawned.
Stewart saw the much anticipated article in the newsprint the following week. A picture of King Joshua with a bold headline announcing his death. The article outlined his life and accomplishments.
“He was an incredible man and leader,” Izabella remarked.
“Yes. Many will mourn his demise.”
Hope and Rose spoke on the telephone every day. As her pregnancy progressed, Rose complained that her swelling stomach made it difficult to stand for hours at a time and manoeuvre around the boutique. Richard and Hope persuaded her to quit her job. Accustomed to her independence and freedom, Rose found their two-storey, three-bedroom home small and confining.
“I am amazed you carried both Alex and me knowing you’d be confined to bed rest for the duration of the pregnancy. I’m not pleased with the fatigue I’m experiencing. Richard and I have spoken. This will be our one and only child,” she informed them during their Sunday get together.
“You’ll feel differently once you hold your child in your arms, Rose,” Hope assured her.
“Perhaps, but cl
imbing in and out of bed has become difficult. One day, I will lay down to rest and be forced to remain until Richard returns home. Heaven help me if I feel the need to urinate,” she grumbled.
“Would you like your poppa and me to come?”
“Please. Richard is concerned about leaving me each day.”
Bags were packed that evening and Hope and Adam arrived at their daughter’s home before Richard left for work the following morning.
* * *
Alex and Papa Stewart were sitting in the private dining room, enjoying their morning coffee when they heard a tap on the door. Alex jumped from his seat, surprised to see Grace standing beside Tom. Her brown eyes were sparkling as she held a game against her yellow dress. Tom, an avid believer in volunteering, brought his wife and sons regularly over the years. Now that their children were grown, Tom and Grace didn’t join them on weekends as often. It was good to see Grace on a regular work day.
“Pardon the intrusion. I’ve come to spend the day volunteering with the children.”
“The children have missed you. I have fond memories of playing when your entire family arrived for the day.”
“As do the boys.”
The couple turned, walked through the kitchen, and into the lobby. Alex returned to his seat.
“Does Sarah have plans today?” Papa asked. “Students?”
“Surprisingly, no. She had two cancellations and rescheduled her third student. She has the entire day off.”
“May I suggest you take advantage and relieve yourself of your duties for the day? If Tom is unavailable, Izabella, Grace, and I are capable of giving tours and taking donations.”
Grateful for the opportunity, Alex left the room to find Sarah. An hour later, Sarah lifted the skirt of her floral dress as Alex assisted her into the car. After completing a few errands in the city, and enjoying a picnic lunch, Alex drove to his sister’s home. He knocked on the door and entered. “Rose, Momma, Poppa.”
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