“I know,” he admitted. “But how could I possibly tell a man in his position no?” He remembered his brother asking about putting him in the will not long after Luna was born. He’d agreed. Of course he’d take his niece in an emergency. He just never expected there to be an actual emergency. Or if there was, that it would happen at the worst possible time in his own life.
His lawyer had just sent him a draft of the mediated divorce settlement to review. Once they agreed on terms, it was a matter of signing off and filing it with the judge. Mason had moved out of the house he and Scarlet had bought together in Malibu and got a place in the Hollywood Hills. The new place was definitely a bachelor pad, not a single-dad pad. It was a midcentury modern design decorated with lots of glass, wood and chrome, completely unsuitable for an infant just starting to walk.
Then again, the home he’d shared with Scarlet in Malibu would be perfect. It still had a decorated nursery in it. She’d shut the room up and left it as it was the day they took their adopted son, Evan, back to his birth mother. The home also had an open floor plan with soft, safe surfaces that were fully baby proofed over a year ago.
It also had Scarlet, the mother that Luna would desperately need. That was where Luna should be. Mason was happy to have children with Scarlet when she wanted them, but the idea of being a single father to his niece was horrifying. He didn’t know anything about babies, and he was certain Jay wouldn’t leave Luna to him if he knew Scarlet was out of the picture.
The trick was convincing her to go along with this. After their adoption plans went south, she swore she would never go through that again. Was asking her to take in Luna, even temporarily, going to aggravate the wound? He didn’t know. All he did know was that he’d made a promise to his brother and he would do whatever he had to to keep his word.
“I know that I have no reason to ask you for anything and you have no reason to go along with it. But you were there in Jay’s hospital room, Scarlet. You heard him beg me—us—to take care of Luna. He was worried enough about leaving Rachel all alone, and now he’s powerless to do anything but leave his daughter behind. I know our situation is complicated, but I couldn’t tell him no. I need your help.”
Scarlet crossed her arms over her chest. He knew from years together that it was her defensive posture. She was uncomfortable with this entire situation. “What are you asking of me, Mason? Do you want us to get back together just so you don’t have to do this alone?”
“No, of course not.” But what did he want? He really hadn’t had enough time to process what all this would mean. Life-changing moments that arrived in the wee hours of the morning were hard to work through with a combination of stress and sleep deprivation. He couldn’t process a long-term plan at this point; he could only focus on his next steps. The most important things were to make sure Luna was safe and Jay was at ease.
“For now, I just need you to do me two favors. First, please let’s keep the divorce a secret from Jay and the rest of my family until after...” Mason couldn’t finish the sentence. He still hadn’t fully accepted the fact that his brother had only weeks left to live. Skin cancer was supposed to involve removing a bad mole and getting a lecture about sunscreen. It wasn’t supposed to strike down an otherwise healthy father in his early thirties.
Scarlet watched him silently with dark eyes that didn’t betray what she was thinking. She was always too hard for him to read. Whatever happened inside Scarlet’s head was a secret from Mason. To this day, he wasn’t sure if she blamed him for the fact that they couldn’t have children. It was his fault, really, but did she look at him and see a barren future because of him? He didn’t know. He also didn’t know if she felt he was responsible for everything that happened with Evan. Had he fought hard enough to keep him? Had he hired all the best attorneys their money could buy to keep their son in their home? He thought he had, but it hadn’t been enough.
All he knew was how he felt, and he felt like a failure where Scarlet was concerned. Mason wasn’t the kind of man who failed at anything. He turned a small Venice Beach surf store he started in college into a chain with locations at every major beach in California, Florida and Hawaii. Spencer Surf Shops was more successful than he’d ever dreamed. But none of that mattered to him when he saw the brokenhearted look on Scarlet’s face the day they took Evan away. He had failed her in the one dream she longed to fulfill more than any other.
“Okay. What’s the second favor?” she asked at last.
“I need to move back into the house.” He held up his hand to stop her inevitable protest. “Not forever. I don’t want you to think I’m just trying to sweet-talk you into taking me back so I have a permanent babysitter. But I want to create the illusion of a secure future for Luna with the two of us to give Jay some peace of mind. Everyone thinks we’re still together.”
Scarlet flinched. “You walked out on me and now you just expect me to let you move back in?”
Mason tried not to let her reaction hurt his feelings. He was the one who had left, although he didn’t like the idea that she’d already gotten used to living without him. They were together nine years. “Yes, that’s what I’m asking, but you know I wouldn’t if I had any other choice. It’s just for however much time Jay has left. It will also give me some time to get my place ready for a baby. Our house has a nursery ready to go.”
Scarlet’s already pale skin seemed to blanch at his words. “Evan’s nursery? You want to put Luna in Evan’s room?”
Mason’s jaw tightened. Scarlet’s protection of Evan’s space was something that he’d never challenged before. He knew it wasn’t healthy to keep the room like a shrine to a child who was never returning, but pushing the issue with her seemed like a cruel fight to pick.
“It’s an unused nursery,” Mason clarified. Evan was never going to use it ever again. It was just a room with a crib, a changing table, and some baby supplies and toys that would help ease the situation they were in. “I’m not saying Luna has to stay there forever.”
Scarlet’s lips flattened into a tight line of displeasure, but she didn’t argue with him. Instead, she seemed to be considering his request for a moment, finally dropping her arms at her sides. “Okay, fine. You can stay at the house and bring Luna. But,” she emphasized, “I’m not going to be your nanny, Mason. I’ve got a new gallery opening in San Francisco in two weeks, not to mention a large commissioned piece for a hotel in Maui. I’m behind on it because of everything that’s happened between us and I have to get it done.”
“That’s fair,” Mason said cautiously. “What do you need to make this work for us?”
“I’m happy to keep up appearances for Jay’s sake, but you need to get a nanny to take care of Luna. I won’t—no, I can’t—go into Evan’s room. I don’t even like the idea of Luna using it, but I know that’s unreasonable. You can use it, but don’t expect me to be in there singing lullabies and rocking Luna to sleep. Please don’t ask me to.”
Mason watched as frustrated, glassy tears formed in Scarlet’s eyes. It had been over a year since the judge awarded Evan back to his biological mother, but it may as well have been yesterday as far as Scarlet was concerned.
He had hoped that she might enjoy the time with her niece, but that didn’t appear to be the case. She actually seemed repelled by the idea, which surprised him, but he wouldn’t push the issue. If she agreed to the two favors that really mattered, he would find a way to make it work even if Scarlet was hands-off with Luna.
“I understand. Thank you for doing this. I’ll see about a nanny first thing in the morning.”
“Where is the baby now?” she asked.
“With my parents.” It gave them something to focus on other than the grief. Luna was the same happy baby she always was. For her, nothing was different and that was a good distraction for them. “They’ll probably keep her until Rachel’s memorial service.”
Scarlet nodded and reached into her purse. She pulled out a key and handed it to him. “This is to the house. I had the locks changed after you moved out. Just let me know you’re on your way before you show up. Remember this isn’t your place anymore.”
Without another word, Scarlet turned and headed toward her car in the hospital parking lot. Mason watched her drive away with an aching feeling of disappointment in his stomach. He hadn’t been able to shake that feeling the last few years of their marriage as they battled to start a family. He’d hoped that maybe when they were apart, the feeling would go away. It only got worse.
Scarlet had agreed to do him these favors, but he could tell she didn’t want to. She had loved her little niece, but she resisted the idea of being hands-on with her. He hadn’t had time to ponder the possibilities of what Luna could mean for their relationship, but it was clear that those ideas would just be fantasies. She didn’t want anything to do with Luna. She wanted a child of her own. Once they were divorced, there was no reason for her to even pretend to be a family. Hell, that was why he’d left in the first place, so she wouldn’t be held back from her dream.
That meant that once Jay passed away, Mason was going to be raising his niece all on his own.
A feeling of overwhelming panic started to wash over him. It felt like the first time he’d caught a huge wave surfing and had been engulfed by the harsh cone of water. He could only brace himself for the inevitable wipeout, knowing he was in way over his head.
Two
“You just need to go in there. Get it over with.”
Scarlet turned to her manager, April, with a frown. They were sitting on her poolside deck overlooking the Pacific Ocean. “All right, you’re cut off. No more wine for you.” She picked up the bottle of chardonnay from the table and moved it out of her friend and employee’s reach.
“I’m not drunk. I’m serious, Scarlet. Do it right now. I’ll even go with you. Just open the door and step into the nursery. I think once you do it you’ll feel better. It’s just a room. It doesn’t have any power over you that you don’t give it.”
“Thank you, Dr. Phil. I’ll take that under consideration, but I’m not going in there right now.” April was Scarlet’s best friend, but she was regretting confiding in her about her latest situation with Mason. She was from the school of tough love and wouldn’t pull any punches if she thought Scarlet needed to hear the truth.
“Does anyone go in there? Ever?”
“The housekeeper goes in to clean once a week.”
“Did Mason ever go in there?”
Scarlet hesitated to answer, the memories of that night flooding through her mind like it was yesterday. “He did once. The night they took Evan away. He sat on the floor and cried. Losing Evan was hard on us both. Adopting that beautiful baby boy was a dream come true for us after struggling so long with infertility and sitting on the waiting list to get a baby. It was the best four months of my life. And then when the mother changed her mind...”
April reached across the table and took Scarlet’s hand. “I know it was hard on you. And I’m not going to be the jerk who tells you to move on and forget about him, because that’s never going to happen. You loved that little boy more than anything. Hell, I couldn’t get you to put him down long enough to paint. But I do think that you’re being unreasonable about the nursery. It’s just a room filled with furniture like any other room. Once Mason and Luna move out, maybe you need to redecorate.”
Scarlet snatched her hand away. “Redecorate?”
“Yes. Donate the furniture and baby clothes to a needy family. Paint the walls. Maybe turn it into an office or a yoga studio. Something that won’t haunt you every day about what you lost.”
Scarlet took a large sip of wine and sat back in her Adirondack chair. April was right. She knew she was right. She just hadn’t been able to make herself do it. In her heart, it was Evan’s room. It was their chance at a baby, as brief as it was, and changing that room meant that she was giving up on that part of her life. Or at least it felt that way.
“After they move out, I’ll consider it,” she agreed reluctantly. That answer would hopefully be enough to appease April, but not require her to march into the house and do something about it right that instant.
April gave her a satisfied smile and took a bite of the homemade guacamole and chips she’d brought with her for their girls’ night in. “When is Mason moving in?”
“The funeral service for Rachel is tomorrow, so probably tomorrow night or the next morning.”
“Are you prepared for having your soon-to-be ex-husband living in the house again?”
Scarlet sighed. She wasn’t really sure how she felt about it. “It’s hard to say. This whole situation is so complicated. On one hand, he hasn’t been gone that long, so having him back in the house may just feel like he’s been on an extended business trip. Then again, he’ll be in the guest room, not in bed beside me.”
“You could always invite him into the bed beside you,” April said with a sly wink.
Scarlet responded with a nervous giggle. “Yeah, right. I’m sure he’d bite, because that won’t complicate matters at all. Anyway, if my feminine wiles were that powerful, I wouldn’t have lost him in the first place.”
April ignored her sarcastic tone. “I still don’t understand how you two could break up. You were the perfect couple. Your marriage was what I was striving for. Now you’re divorcing and living in separate houses. It makes me feel very dubious about my own love life. I don’t get it.”
No relationship was perfect, although it might look like it from the outside. “We had issues. There were a few things that bothered me before the baby thing came up, but I thought we could work through it. In the end, I’m not the one who left, April. You’ll have to ask Mason why he decided to give up. I know things between us had become...strained... And then he told me he wanted a divorce.”
It had been only a couple months since their marriage unraveled, and the moment was still fresh and painful in her mind. She knew she hadn’t been herself. Not since they lost Evan. But she’d been getting better. She was trying to reimagine her future without a child in it, and that took time to come to terms with.
“What reasons did he give for wanting the divorce?”
“He said he didn’t want to hold me back from my dream of having a family. Since he was the one who couldn’t have children, he said he thought it was best to step aside and let me find someone who could.”
April’s mouth fell open. “That’s the most romantic breakup I’ve ever heard of.”
Scarlet shook her head. “I don’t know that I believe it was entirely selfless. It sounds noble, but I know Mason. He can’t stand to fail at anything. Mason doesn’t do well when he isn’t on top. He’d rather walk away from something if he can’t succeed. He’s done it before. Did you know he was a vice president at his father’s company before he quit and started the surf shop? That he dropped out of grad school? This was the same thing. Staying married to me would be a daily reminder that he failed and couldn’t give me a child. And by that point, we’d started growing apart. If you’d asked me two years ago about us ever divorcing, I would’ve laughed in your face. But we’d become strangers living in the same house.”
She knew most of that was her fault. Once they started to try having a family, she’d become obsessed with the idea. As the only child of two only children, Scarlet had always wanted a big family. Three or four kids at a minimum. For the first five years of their marriage, she and Mason had been focused on their careers and they’d been very successful. It wasn’t until they decided to finally try for a family that things started to come apart.
Their passionate nights became dominated by ovulation kits and monthly disappointments. Then romance went out the window entirely in the face of sterile doctors’ offices and medical exams that uncovered that
Mason was infertile. It had been a huge blow to them both, but Mason seemed especially devastated by the diagnosis. She had tried to convince him that she didn’t care, that they could adopt a child who needed a home. When that fell apart, too, they had no hope left for their marriage to cling to. At that point, Mason did what he always did—he made a decision without consulting her, and moved out.
“Do you think things will be different with him back in the house again? Now that he has custody of Luna, perhaps you could reconcile.”
Scarlet didn’t really think that was an option. Being back together would be awkward at best, contentious at worst. She imagined them tiptoeing around each other, trying to adapt to a new dynamic that flew in the face of nine years together. “This won’t really be the right environment to rekindle our romance. We’ll have Luna here. And the nanny.”
April set down her empty wineglass and turned in her seat to look at Scarlet. “May I ask what the nanny is about?”
Scarlet’s brow furrowed at her friend’s silly question. “I’m on deadline. That massive humpback whale oil painting is due next week. You of all people should know that. And we’re on the verge of opening up the Fisherman’s Wharf gallery. That’s going to keep me busy.”
April didn’t look convinced. “So busy that a woman desperate for children can’t make time in her day to care for her orphaned niece, who needs a mother more than anything in the world?”
Scarlet frowned at her insightful friend. So she wasn’t that busy. They would need help with Luna, though. She’d rather have an in-home nanny than put her in day care while they worked.
“Tell me that you’re not putting up these walls as a self-preservation mechanism,” April said.
“A what?” Scarlet snapped.
“You got attached to Evan and you lost him. Are you deliberately keeping distance between you and Luna so you don’t get attached to her, too?”
The Baby Favor Page 2
