Mason was relieved they didn’t think it was serious, but their response still left him with questions. “So what can we do for now? She’s pretty miserable.”
“Give her this for a start,” she said, handing over the bottle of water. “If she’ll drink it. The medicine should kick in pretty soon and her fever will go down. We can give her a cool bath. Hold her a lot. Basically, just love on her and keep her from getting overheated.”
Mason offered the bottle to Luna and she took it, sniffling sadly as she suckled on it. “How do you know all this stuff?” he asked her when Luna appeared to be settled for the moment. “You were an only child. You weren’t raised around any other kids, were you?”
“No. But when we found out we were getting Evan, I read a lot so I’d be prepared on day one. I was so worried I was going to screw something up and they’d take him away.”
Mason’s jaw tightened. Her worst fears had been realized through no fault of her own and he hated that, but it was another scenario he had no control over. Child-rearing was far more stressful than business any day. “I don’t know how I’m going to manage this on my own.”
Scarlet sat back on the couch and looked at him. “You’re doing just fine.”
“Because you came home just in time.”
“No,” she insisted with a shake of her head. “You checked her temperature and you were about to call the doctor. They would’ve told you what to do even if you weren’t sure. You could’ve handled this. You’re going to be a great father. I always thought you would be.”
He wasn’t so sure of that, but he knew she was destined to be a great mother. Part of him wanted her to be that mother to Luna, but he wouldn’t force that on her. If she wanted her own children, she deserved that.
“I remember you sitting in that same chair holding Evan not long after he came to us,” she continued. “I was so enamored with him I’d hardly put him down for a week, but I was desperate for a shower. You took him while I washed my hair, and when I came downstairs, the two of you were just like this.”
Mason remembered that day. He’d been terrified by the idea of holding such a small baby, but he’d done just fine. At least for fifteen minutes or so. Evan slept most of the time, so it hadn’t been as much of a challenge as today had been. “You had the magic touch with Evan. The minute you picked him up, he’d stop crying.”
“It’s not magic,” Scarlet said. “It’s love and trust. The baby bonds with you and you with it. When they know that you’ll do whatever it takes to keep them safe and happy, that’s where they want to be. Eventually, Evan would’ve been just as contented with you as he was with me. And the same goes for Luna. You’re going to be her whole world and she’ll love you more than anyone else on the planet, and you’ll feel the same way. When you run across a speed bump, you’ll figure it out. That’s just parenting. You can’t expect to know everything, but you adapt and the baby learns to trust in you.”
Mason looked down at Luna, who had let the bottle slip from her lips as she fell asleep, then back up at Scarlet. “I never wanted to do this without you. Whenever I imagined a family, it had you in it.”
“Life doesn’t always turn out the way you plan,” Scarlet said with a sad, distant look in her eye. “You two will be just fine.”
Mason watched as she turned and walked back into the kitchen to deal with the groceries and end the conversation. He hoped she was right.
* * *
Things had begun to return to normal after a day or two. The new normal, anyway. Carroll was back, Luna was on medication and was feeling better. They were starting to settle into a groove. At least it felt that way.
Scarlet was feeling anything but settled. She felt like the world was tipping on its axis and the scariest part of it all was that she liked it. It was far too easy to return to the life she had with Mason, especially adding the piece of her life she always felt was missing. Having Luna made almost everything fall into place for her. That was what made it frightening. This couldn’t possibly be her happily-ever-after, could it? Could the Fates really give her everything she wanted and let her be happy? She just couldn’t believe it. There had to be a catch.
She was pretty sure that catch was Mason. She just wasn’t sure if he felt the same way about how things were going between them. They hadn’t really talked about the night they’d spent together. Both of them had artfully dodged the situation, and with Luna getting sick, it was easy to do it. She wasn’t sure where they stood long-term. What she did know was that she wasn’t going back into this relationship again just because he was scared to care for Luna alone. That was a recipe for disaster.
He’d walked away from their marriage once because he didn’t feel like he could give his best to her. Before she could trust her heart in his hands a second time, she had to know that he was in it for the long haul, no matter what challenges came their way. Those things were inevitable, but they were easier to tackle with someone else than alone. At the same time, she didn’t want him coming back just because he was afraid to face those scary things without her help.
When she came home from her office that evening, she found the house quieter than it had been since everyone else moved in. She’d stayed late getting things ready for the grand opening but was still surprised by the stillness.
“Hello?” she called as she stepped through the foyer.
“Hello,” Mason’s voice answered back.
She followed the sound through the sliding glass doors to the deck. Mason was sitting out there with his laptop and a half-empty bottle of beer. “Where’s Luna and Carroll?”
“Luna is down for the night and Carroll is reading in her room, so I came out here to work. You stayed pretty late at the office tonight.”
She nodded. She did most of her work at home, but she did have an office she went into occasionally to handle the business side of her art. Today, it was going over all the plans April had put together, overseeing the shipment of works up to the new gallery, finalizing the catering arrangements and approving the hiring of the employees who would be manning the new location.
“Gallery openings are exciting and wonderful and stressful all at once.”
He nodded. She’d watched him go through the same anxiety every time he opened a new surf shop. “Well, grab a glass of wine and join me out here. It’s a beautiful night.”
That was an excellent suggestion. As a couple before children came into the picture, they’d spent more evenings than she could count out on this deck talking. Over a bottle of wine, they’d catch up on their busy work lives, reconnect emotionally and enjoy the soothing rush of the waves at their back door. She didn’t realize how much she’d missed those moments with him until she joined him on the porch with a full glass of merlot.
This was where they’d always had their important talks. Something about the sea and the safety of their deck retreat made it easier to share their feelings. Maybe by the time she’d gotten halfway through this wine, she’d have the nerve to bring up their brief encounter the other night. On an empty stomach, the first two sips were strong, warming her blood and loosening her tongue.
“I’m glad we have this moment together to talk. I feel like things have been so hectic lately.”
She nodded, deciding to let him say what was on his mind first. It might make whatever she wanted to discuss moot. “It’s been a whirlwind since you and Luna arrived.”
“Scarlet, things have really been...nice...since I came back. Being here feels just like before. Sitting on this deck with you, it’s like the last year and a half never even happened. I probably shouldn’t say this, but I hate my new house.”
“Why?” She hadn’t been there, of course, but she had no doubt it was superluxurious. Mason strived for the best in all things. Building in Malibu had been their dream, but his place in the Hills was hardly a shack.
“Because it’s not home.” He looked around their backyard, which included the Pacific Ocean, and reached out to take her hand. When he leaned in, the spicy scent of his cologne mingled with the sea air and tickled at her nose. “This feels like home.”
Scarlet couldn’t pull away although she knew she should. She liked the feel of her hand in his. The warmth of his skin enveloped her, and he was right, it did feel like home. It hadn’t until he came back. The big house had seemed hollow when she was alone and she’d spent many nights walking around wondering how she could ever fill it.
At the same time, she couldn’t shake the worry about his timing. Without Luna, he wouldn’t be here saying these things to her. This was still the man who left her, and she had to keep reminding herself of that, especially when he leaned in close and smiled at her this way.
“When I realized Jay was leaving Luna to me, it was like the whole world was collapsing around me. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I know moving in on your life and pretending like our breakup never happened wasn’t ideal, especially for you, but I don’t regret it. Being here, raising Luna together, has shown me a lot about the life we never got to have.”
She knew what he meant. Even as they avoided the consequences of the physical relationship, she understood how easily it had happened. Slipping back into their life was so easy. So comfortable. She had to fight not to let herself get carried away by the fantasy they created when it was everything she had ever wanted in her life.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t give this to you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t keep Evan home where he belonged. All you wanted was to have a family with me, and no matter what I seemed to do, I just made it worse.”
“None of it was your fault.”
“It feels like my fault. But even if all of that was out of my control, leaving you was my fault. I hurt you and I’m sorry for that.”
“Thank you,” she said, accepting the apology he offered. “I’m sorry for disappearing on you the other night.”
“I didn’t blame you,” Mason said as his thumb brushed over the back of her hand. “We didn’t plan that, and I don’t think either of us were ready to deal with what it meant, if anything, to ourselves and to each other.”
“I think we both needed some comfort and a release after everything that has happened.”
He nodded. “It was more than that for me, though. That, more than anything else, really made me feel like I’d come home. This place, this life, making love to you again...it was amazing, Scarlet. And I can’t stop thinking about it. Thinking about you.”
Scarlet held her breath as she anticipated what he would say next. This whole conversation had been unexpected for her. They’d tried to keep their focus on Luna and the situation, but this was treading into unexpected territory.
“I don’t know what to do, honestly. I still feel like letting you start a new life is the best thing for you. But if I’m being totally selfish, I want you back. Not just in my bed, but in my life. I want you in Luna’s life. She deserves a mother like you would be. When I see you two together, I know that’s the way Rachel and Jay wanted it to be.”
The words he was saying sounded nice, but Scarlet still wasn’t hearing what she wanted. Yes, he liked being back, but was he more interested in the life they’d make for Luna than just being with her again? He hadn’t said that he still loved her. That he wanted to be with her no matter what. That he wanted to call off the divorce proceedings. Just that Luna needed her for a mother.
Things were going well enough now, but it wouldn’t always be such smooth sailing. Would he turn and run again if something bad happened, like before? Would their fragile peace be destroyed by the finality of Jay’s death? His brother’s health was deteriorating day by day and their stability could change with a single phone call.
“What do you want, Scarlet?”
The question startled her out of her thoughts. It was a question she wasn’t used to answering. Mason was bad about making decisions without consulting her. He always insisted he was acting in her best interests, but sometimes people didn’t want what was best for them. They just wanted what they wanted. Now that he was asking, she was afraid to throw caution to the wind and be completely honest with him, or with herself.
“I don’t know,” she said. “These last few weeks have been a taste of the life I’ve always dreamed of. But I’m afraid it won’t last.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean Luna seems to be the linchpin that’s holding our relationship together at the moment. But when Evan was pulled from our lives, things fell apart. What if something happens to her? What if someone in Rachel’s family takes you to court for custody and you lose? Or she gets sick. Or in a car accident. I feel like what we have would go into a tailspin without her. That scares me.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because you can’t deal with failure, Mason. At the slightest sign that something won’t work out for you, you bail. I can’t have you bailing on this marriage twice.”
Mason frowned at her. “No, I don’t.”
“When grad school got too hard, you dropped out. When your first big project at your dad’s company went south, you decided to quit.”
“I did both those things so I could focus on starting my own company. Considering how successful the store chain has become, that was the right choice, don’t you agree?”
“And did you leave me to focus on starting your own company? No. You did it because you couldn’t stand to live each day with me as a reminder that you’d failed at making me a mother. Maybe leaving so I could start over was how you legitimized the decision in your own mind, but with you, I know you’re always going to pull away when things get too difficult. Your father programmed you to succeed at all costs. It’s not good or bad, it’s just the way you are.”
Mason let go of her hand and sat back in his seat for a moment to take in everything she said. After a bit, he sighed and nodded. “I guess I do. I’ve never thought about it that way. I’m sorry you feel like you can’t rely on me.”
Scarlet shook her head. “Enough apologies for tonight. I just need you to know that I need someone who will stand and fight for this. For us. No one ever said marriage was easy, and raising a family is even harder. You and I have chemistry, there’s no doubt of it. But passion alone isn’t enough for me. Staying together is a choice you have to wake up and make every day.”
Passion faded; she knew that. And if it did, she was in a very precarious position with Mason and Luna. Unless he allowed her to legally adopt the baby after Jay died, she had no rights to Luna. Just like with Evan, she wouldn’t have a leg to stand on in court if they separated again and battled for custody. Losing another child would destroy her and she wasn’t sure she could recover from it a second time while also coping with her marriage finally ending. She was already enamored with her niece. But losing her daughter, if she let it go that far, would be devastating.
“Before I can let myself even consider a future with you and Luna in it, I need to know that I’ll be able to count on you, especially when things get hard.”
Mason listened patiently to everything she had to say. When she was finished, he reached over and cupped her face in his hand. She couldn’t resist closing her eyes, leaning into the warmth of his touch and drawing the scent of his skin into her lungs. He was her weakness, and she knew it. All he had to do was say the right words and she’d believe him because she was desperate to believe.
When she opened her eyes again, he was watching her with a serious expression lining his face. “I’m not going to run this time, Scarlet.”
He leaned in and followed his promise with a kiss. Scarlet didn’t resist. This was what she wanted, even if she was afraid to want it again. She knew this kiss would lead them upstairs and, eventually, would lead her heart down a path of no return. But even then, she
kissed him back with all her heart and soul and could only hope for the best.
Eight
Things were going well. Too well.
Mason wasn’t known for being the most optimistic person. Running his own company had taught him to always watch for the other shoe to drop. After his talk with Scarlet the other night, things had made a turn for the better. They seemed to really be giving this a chance. He was actually sleeping in their bedroom again, leaving her studio and the lumpy futon behind. Now he got to fall asleep every night with the scent of Scarlet’s shampoo on his pillowcase and the warm curve of her body pressed into his.
He could almost forget that the drama of the last year or so had ever happened. And that was what worried him the most. He was not one to get lulled into complacency. That was when fate would throw a curve ball and hit you squarely upside the head. He just wasn’t sure what direction the threat would come from next. Would Scarlet decide that she really did want her own child? Would something else drive them apart? Jay’s death? Something with Luna? He didn’t know. There was no way to know. That was just life. He just needed to be ready for the eventuality.
When Mason pulled his car into the garage that evening, there were no curve balls in sight. When he stepped inside, he could hear commotion out back and saw that Scarlet, Carroll and Luna were playing in the pool together. He stood for a moment at the window, watching Scarlet and Luna.
Scarlet’s dark hair was twisted into a messy knot on the top of her head to keep it dry. She was wearing the red halter bikini he’d chosen for her at one of his shops a few years before. She was bouncing up and down, holding on to a little floaty chair that kept Luna upright in the water. The baby was wearing a hot-pink zebra swimsuit with giant sunglasses that nearly covered half her face. She was happily splashing her hands and giggling as the water went everywhere.
The Baby Favor Page 9
