by Holly Renee
When the doorbell rang, I tried to get there before my brother, but I’m pretty sure he had been pacing the living room waiting for him. I was twenty-two years old, but my brother still acted like I still needed a protector.
When I got to the door, Josh looked a little scared and a lot ready to get out of there. I pushed Mason into the house as I stepped out onto the front porch.
Josh didn’t hug me in hello or let his eyes roam over my body. Instead, he watched the front door as he led me to his car.
As we walked into the restaurant, he seemed to finally breathe in relief.
“I’m sorry about my brother.” I laughed. “He’s a bit overprotective.”
“Just a bit.” He chuckled.
The server took our drink order, and Josh finally looked at me, his eyes jumping from my face to my chest.
“You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.” I smiled. It was a little late, but I kept that to myself.
“So Liv, what do you do?”
“I’m a receptionist at Forbidden Ink. Do you have any tattoos?”
I took a sip of my sweet tea and watched him shake his head.
“No way. I can’t have any tattoos at my job.”
“Why not?”
“I’m a lawyer. No one wants someone to represent them that looks like a convict themselves.”
He laughed, but I didn’t.
“You don’t like tattoos?”
“No.” He shook his head again with a smile on his face. “You don’t have any do you?”
“I do.”
He straightened up at that.
“Oh. I haven’t seen one.”
You probably never will either. “It’s hidden.”
“See that I can deal with. If you can put on clothes and still look presentable, I think they are fine.”
I thought about what Parker would think about his words as they flowed from his lips, and if I were half as courageous as Parker, I probably would have said his thoughts out loud. But I wasn’t.
I nodded my head as Josh continued to talk. I wasn’t sure what Parker wanted from me anyways. He tracked my every movement with his eyes as I worked around the shop, but we still hadn’t spoken a word about our kiss.
Our drunken, idiotic kiss.
He was getting married in two weeks. Two fucking weeks, and I was sitting on the sidelines obsessing over a kiss. He probably thought it was a mistake. He was probably just worried that I would say something to Emily, but I would never do that to him.
As much as we had hurt each other in the past, I wanted to see him happy. Even if that meant he was with someone else.
“Do you want children, Liv?”
“Whoa. That escalated quickly.” I laughed, but Josh didn’t. “Yeah. I want kids.” I just wanted them to have striking green eyes and Parker’s sense of humor.
“Me too. I think I want four.”
I was thinking two, but I didn’t say that to him. I just nodded my head.
Our food arrived at the table and I was thankful for the distraction.
We chatted as we ate. The topics were much less serious, and I finally started to relax.
Josh liked to hike which was something that I thought I might enjoy.
I told him how much I loved the lake, and he told me that he preferred the beach.
My phone vibrated in my lap, and I looked down at my text.
* * *
Staci: How’s the date going?
* * *
It’s going.
* * *
Staci: Well that sounds tantalizing. We’re going out for drinks later. Bow out of the date earlier and come with!
* * *
Okay. Let me see what I can do.
* * *
Staci: 911 text me if you need help!
* * *
“Is everything okay?” Josh asked as he handed the server his card.
“Yeah. Sorry. It’s just my best friend.”
“Is this a 911 text?” He chuckled and guilt filled me.
“No. She actually wanted to know if we wanted to meet her and some of my other friends out for a drink. Would you be interested?”
“Sure.” He smiled, and I tried to make myself feel something. I knew it was insane to think the curve of someone’s lips could make you fall for them, but I had done it before. I stared at Josh’s smile, the edges of his lips perfectly symmetrical, and I longed for something a little less perfect. I craved the small dimple on Parker’s right cheek as his smile lifted higher on that side, and I felt anxious to feel his bottom lip that was just slightly fuller than the top one between my teeth.
But that smile didn’t belong to me, and I needed to do myself a favor and remember that.
P A R K E R
Present
“Where’s Livy?” Staci was talking to Mason, but my attention was focused solely on them as soon as I heard her name.
“She’s on a date.”
My heart stopped at his words.
“With who?” Staci seemed excited for her, and I wanted to ask her whose team she was on.
“Some guy she met at a coffee shop. I wasn’t too impressed with him.” Mason shrugged his shoulders.
I wanted to ask him where they went, but I didn’t need him suspicious of me. Not to mention my fiancée who was sitting by my side glued to her cell phone.
Staci pulled out her cell phone as well and started texting before a smile lit up her face.
“She’s going to come by here after.” She looked directly at me as she said the words, and I narrowed my eyes at her. She and Livy had become best friends ever since Livy started working at the shop, and I wondered how much Livy had told her.
“Are you almost ready?” Emily wrapped her arm around mine.
“We just got here like thirty minutes ago, Emily,” I whispered to her, and she just rolled her eyes before going back to her phone.
I knew that it was stupid, but I wanted to be here when Livy came. It was driving me insane to think about her on her date. Did she like him? Would it become something serious?
I downed a few beers as I watched the door waiting for her to arrive. My friends were all laughing around me, and I tried to join in, but every time the door opened I was on alert.
When she finally walked through the door, I finally breathed a sigh of relief. Until I saw some douchebag walk in behind her.
He was wearing a baby blue button-down shirt and black dress pants, and as much as I hated to say it, he actually looked like he fit next to her. Staci waved her hand in their direction, and Livy’s face lit up when she saw her.
She made her way over to us, and she faltered slightly when she saw me. Apparently, Staci didn’t tell her that I would be here.
Her date pulled out her seat for her directly across from me before sitting down himself. I gave him points for being a gentleman, but that didn’t make me want to rip his head off any less.
“Hey, guys. This is Josh.”
We all said our hellos, and Brandon shook his hand. Emily had finally put her phone down, and she was looking directly at Livy. I wasn’t exactly sure what the look was about, but I could see a glimpse of the catty Emily that I didn’t like.
“Hey, Emily.” Liv smiled at her, and Emily smiled back.
I watched Josh as he put his arm over the back of Livy’s chair, but she didn’t seem to notice. I watched him watching her as she and Staci gabbed on about who only knows what. He looked like a good enough guy, but he wasn’t good enough for her.
Livy would glance my way every so often, but as soon as I caught her gaze, it’d dart away.
I left the table to order a round of shots, and Brandon followed me.
“What are you doing?” he asked as I threw a shot of whiskey down my throat.
“Getting drunk,” I said sarcastically.
He rolled his eyes. “That’s not what I mean. What are you doing with Livy?”
“Livy’s on a date.” I looked behind me to watch her date lean
in close to talk to her.
“And you’re here with your fiancée yet you both continue to eye fuck each other regardless.”
I ran my hands through my hair. “No. We’re not.”
“Yes. You are. Everyone can see it except maybe you, Livy, and Emily. Even her date’s been watching her watch you. Now I’ll ask you again, what the fuck are you doing?”
I threw another shot back and stared at my best friend. “What do you expect me to do?”
“Break up with Emily for starters.”
“It’s not that easy.” I shook my head. I had been thinking about ending things with Emily ever since Livy came out from behind that curtain at the strip club, but I would crush her. “We’re not just dating, Brandon. I’m supposed to marry that girl in two weeks.” I looked over at Emily who was still sitting on her phone and ignoring all my friends that surrounded her. She looked so out of place with them, so out of place with me.
“And did you hear how thrilled you are about that? You just said that you’re supposed to marry her. Not that you’re going to, not that you can’t wait, but that you’re supposed to.” He shook his head like I was the biggest idiot he had ever met. “You’re not supposed to marry someone because you’re scared of hurting them, Parker. You’re supposed to marry someone who sets you on fire. Someone who you can’t stop thinking about and who thinks about you more than they do themselves.” He took a deep breath and stared me straight in the eye. My usual jokester friend completely serious in that moment. “I heard a quote once that if you want to know what someone loves then you should look at what they photograph. I think that goes for drawing too. How many portraits have you secretly drawn of Livy even since you and Emily have been together? How many drawings have you titled something else, but they only remind you of her?”
I stared at him and let his words sink into me.
“What about Mason?” I looked at my other best friend who now had his sister in a hug as they laughed.
“Fuck, Mason. If he can’t see how much you love his sister, then he’s as much an idiot as you are.”
L I V Y
Present
I felt like every day I was fighting a war with myself. Some days I would wake up and nothing in the world mattered as much as Parker. Other days, the pain was so fresh that the only thoughts that ran through my head were how to destroy him like he had done me.
I didn’t know what I had expected after our kiss, but I didn’t think that everything would be exactly like it was before. Parker barely seemed to notice me at work, and Emily was there far more than she had ever been before.
Their wedding was a week away, and I swear to God if I had to listen to her talk about it for one more minute, I was going to strangle her.
With every detail that she described, it was as if she was stabbing a tiny dagger into my heart. Part of me wondered if she was aware of what she was doing to me, but I couldn’t be certain. She was too friendly, blissfully happy, and I hated her.
Parker was busy with a client, and I was still trying to figure out why the hell Emily was still here. We weren’t friends, regardless of how hard we had tried, and I was beyond ready for her to leave.
“So… I took your advice.”
“You did.” I was staring at the computer adjusting Parker’s schedule.
“Yeah. I’m finally going to get a tattoo.”
I looked up at her, and she was clearly watching me.
“Have you decided what you’re going to get?”
She nodded her head excitedly. “You have to promise not to tell, Parker though. It’s going to be a wedding surprise.”
“Okay.”
She pulled out a wrinkled piece of sketch paper that had clearly seen better days, and as I stared down at the drawing, I thought I was going to hyperventilate.
“Where did you get this?” I held the drawing between my trembling fingers, and I tried to stop the bombarding memories from taking over.
“I found it in an old notebook of Parker’s that he had hidden away. I absolutely love it. Don’t you?”
I did love it, but not for the same reasons she did. If she knew why I loved it, she would hate it.
I laid the drawing on my desk, and I stared down at the portrait of a girl, a girl I hadn’t known for a very long time. Half of her face peaceful and half her face distorted with a swirl of colors and lines.
It was the first drawing Parker had ever drawn of me, but I looked nothing like that girl anymore.
I searched the lines, looking for something, but no matter how hard I looked, all I could see was Parker and me. It was the perfect match to the tattoo that was inked over my ribs, and there was no way in hell I was going to let her get it.
“I love it.” I croaked out the words. “When do you plan on surprising Parker? I can block some time out of his schedule.”
“I’m thinking the week after the honeymoon. I would get it before the wedding, but I wouldn’t want anything to ruin our wedding night if you know what I mean.” She winked at me, and I could taste vomit rising in my throat.
I blocked time off in his schedule then put the drawing in a folder. “I’ll keep it safe until the appointment so he doesn’t find it.”
“Thank you, Liv. I couldn’t have done this without you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“We’re going to match, you know?” She smiled.
“What?”
“Me and Parker. You’ve probably never seen it before because the tattoo is over his ribs, but he has this same tattoo on him. I’m so damn excited.”
I couldn’t breathe as the words passed her lips. I wanted to tell her that I was the one who inspired the tattoo she wanted. I wanted to tell her that I refused to allow her to get this drawing, but instead, I smiled and watched her sashay out the front door.
I pulled the drawing back out of the folder and held it in my hands thinking about what I wanted to say to Parker. I considered hiding the drawing and claiming that I lost it, but I couldn’t do that. Plus, he apparently had a perfect match permanently inked on his body.
When he finally appeared out of his room with his client, I held my breath trying to calm myself down. I knew I had no business getting this worked up, but it was impossible to tell your heart not to care when it had done nothing but care for so long.
As soon as his client walked out the door and Parker locked the door behind him, closing up for the night, I stormed over to him and lifted his shirt so I could inspect his body.
It only took a moment to spot my face, and I ran my hand over the ink as a tear trailed down my cheek.
“What the hell are you doing, Livy?” He tried to pull his shirt down, but I refused to let him.
“Why do you have this?” He opened his mouth to respond, but I spoke again before he could. “She’s not fucking getting it, Parker. Over my dead body.”
“What are you talking about?”
I stormed over to my desk, and he followed me. I shoved the drawing at him, and he stared down at it before looking back up at me.
“Where did you get this?”
“Your fiancée brought it in. She plans to surprise you by getting it after your honeymoon.”
“Livy.” He reached out for me, and I let him.
“I swear to God, Parker. She’s not fucking getting it. She doesn’t get everything. This is mine.”
He pulled me into his chest, squishing the drawing between us. “I won’t, Livy. I promise I won’t tattoo it on her. But you have to tell me what you want. Do you want me to leave her for you? Do you want me to tell her that I still love you?”
“That’s not fair.” I stepped away from him.
“No. What’s not fair is that you came back into my life when I finally thought that I had something real. You make me question everything, Livy. Everything.”
“I didn’t come back here to ruin your life, Parker. You know that. You were there, bringing me back here.” I could taste salt on my lips, and the taste of my pain a fresh
reminder of everything we’ve been through. “I just need to think.”
I walked past him into the back room, but his steps echoed mine, following me step for step.
“You’re not running again, Livy.” He grabbed my hand, pulling me to a stop.
“We’ve been through too much.” I shrugged my shoulders. “But no matter what, I can’t unlove you, Parker.” I whispered the words as he tucked my hair behind my ear.
“I don’t want you to.”
He lifted me in the air as his mouth crashed into mine. My back slammed into the wall, and I tightened my thighs around him.
I didn’t have time to think about whether what we were doing was right or wrong. I could only think about how badly I wanted him, and as he pulled my shirt over my head, I did absolutely nothing to stop him.
The door to his and Brandon’s office crashed against the wall and my back hit the cold wood of his desk. I searched his eyes, but there wasn’t an ounce of indecision there as he pulled my pants down my legs.
He didn’t give me a chance to catch my breath let alone my conscious as he began nipping at the delicate skin of my thighs. I let my head fall back against his desk as his breath trailed over me. The moment his mouth pressed against my panties, I thought I was going to die. He ran his tongue over the fabric which was already wet with want, his hands wrapping around my thighs, and when he jerked me to the end of the desk, my body colliding with his, I cried out in pleasure.
He stared down at me, his eyes roaming over every inch of my skin, and his hand running over my tattoo. His hand trembled precariously close to my breastbone, and I watched him, the exact moment the last ounce of his control snapped visible before my eyes. His fingers curled into the edge of my panties and then the fabric was shredded as he ripped it from my body.
I couldn’t catch my breath as he flipped me over the desk, my face pressed against the wood, my ass on full display.
