"And the nightclubs and Xander Vane?" Seraphina raised a doubtful brow.
"Rebounding," she said. "I haven't been to a club since that time I got so drunk, Harper had to take me home. I haven't slept with anyone since then." She raised her hand and rubbed her brow. "When Papa died, I kept everything in because I felt I needed to be strong for you. When Matt broke up with me and demanded to be traded, I used that as an excuse to act out. I felt like an idiot and I stopped that. I feel like I'm finding my way back to myself again but Negan makes things way harder than they need to be."
Seraphina shook her head. "Don't make Negan responsible for your behavior," she said. "And don't let him get to you. I still think he might have a thing for you." She grabbed her pen and started clicking it, a habit of hers. "The guy is pretty cute."
"I guess," Katella said with a shrug. "If you're into brooding assholes with scruff." Her lips curled up into a smirk. "Which you are."
Seraphina shot her sister a look but Katella could see the pink in her sister's cheeks. "So that thing’s still going on?" she asked. It was rare for Katella to turn things around on her sister, but when she did, it was a glorious feeling.
"What thing?" Seraphina asked, looking back down at her planner. "There is no thing."
"Stop lying to me - and yourself," Katella said. She couldn't stop the smile on her face from beaming across to her sister like the bat signal up in the sky. "You have a thing for Thorpe, Sera, just admit it."
"A thing?" Seraphina said again. "What are we, in high school?"
“Come on,” Katella said, her forest green eyes shining. “It’s me, Sera, your sister, your best friend, your confidant. I know you’ve lost a lot of friends since Papa died. I’m not stupid. You barely graduate UCI and all of a sudden you own a hockey team and you’re a billionaire. People you barely remember have come out of the woodwork to ask to borrow money and people you’ve been friends with all your life suddenly vanish on you.”
“What’s your point, Kat?” Seraphina asked, and Katella could detect an underlying hint of annoyance in her tone.
“You’re all I have,” Katella finished, all traces of amusement gone. She was serious about this and she needed Seraphina to understand that. “And I’m all you have. If there’s something you’re going through, I want to be there for you. You’re always there for me, and I want the opportunity to return the favor.”
Seraphina looked away. “Brandon is…” She let her voice trail off before pressing her lips together, as though she was afraid to let her secret out. “I can’t do anything about Brandon, Kat, whether I want to or not. To be honest, I want him. More than I’ve wanted anybody in my life. But I can’t be with him.”
“Bullshit,” Katella said.
“What?”
“Bullshit,” she repeated.
“It’s not bullshit,” Seraphina told her. “Listen, Kat, you don’t understand the pressure that I have to go through on a constant basis. I’m criticized because my hair is messy or my blouse is untucked or my shoes don’t match my purse. My team sucked my first year. They did the worst they’ve ever done, even with my grandfather. We established that scholarship, which was about the only good thing that came from last season.”
“Are you crazy?” Katella asked. “You think I don’t understand criticism? I’m the older sister who didn’t get the team. Which must mean I’m an idiot. Untrustworthy. Incapable. I have blonde hair and big boobs and I didn’t inherit the team. It doesn’t matter that I graduated cum laude or that I run my own event company. So don’t tell me I don’t understand pressure.”
“If you knew the type of pressure I had to face, you wouldn’t have fucked Alexander Vane,” Seraphina said.
Katella could see regret flash in her sister’s eyes. She knew that she would forgive Seraphina for it, too. Just… not right now. She clenched her jaw and let out a shaky breath.
“I get people are watching you more than they’re watching me,” Katella said slowly, her voice quiet. “But don’t let their assumed perception hold you back from following your heart. And before you say anything, I know that’s cheesy. And yeah, I fucked Xander Vane as a rebound and I felt… beautiful. You don’t know how Matt made me feel at the end of our relationship. I just wanted to feel beautiful. Things fizzled out. But I don’t regret my time with him. I know with all my heart that you won’t regret your time with Thorpe but you’re scared. Don’t pretend it’s the press or anything else. You’re holding yourself back. Own your decisions, Sera. They eat you alive because you let them.”
"Don't you think I want to be with him, Kat?" Seraphina outburst surprised Katella only because her sister had been holding her emotions in check since the middle of her first official season, after they reamed her for her terrible poker face and her display of emotions. "I'm in love with the guy. And it sucks so much to watch him be with someone else!"
"Wait," Katella said slowly, "is he dating anyone?"
Seraphina shrugged. "I don't know," she said. "I just think why wouldn't he, you know? He's beautiful, Kat. I just want to be with him. But I don't know how he feels about me because he's so reserved and I can't have anyone questioning me being the rightful owner of the team. You know Alan is just waiting for me to fuck up so bad he can just swoop in and take over."
"Our uncles can't do that, Sera," Katella said as calm as she could. "You know he can't. If he could, he would have done so last year, when the team came below five hundred, losing more than half their games. But you know what? Thorpe was somehow still nominated for the Vezina trophy."
Seraphina pressed her lips together and looked away at her planner. She clenched her teeth, causing her jaw to pop. The gold around her irises dimmed slightly, causing the blue to get more intense. Her sadness was striking, and Katella had to take a moment to really think of what to say to her sister in order to help her.
"You are doing an amazing job, Seraphina," Katella said, hoping the usage of Seraphina's first name would cause her to really hear what she wanted to hear. "And I get why you aren't making a move on Thorpe. But you can't let people - or your assumption of how people will respond - dictate the decisions you make. That isn't fair to you and to Thorpe. We learned a valuable lesson with Papa's death: life is short. Don't waste it."
"I can't do anything right now," she said, shaking her head. "Don't we have to prepare for the Allstar Auction and the break. We still need to book our flights to Atlanta for the Allstars and" -
"That's what assistants are for," Katella said. "Speaking of which, why haven't you hired one yet? I hear Dimitri is looking for a job."
"Only because his wife kicked him out of their place and he refuses to go back to Russia because of the kids," Seraphina muttered.
"Didn't she cheat on him?" Katella asked, cocking her head to the side.
Seraphina gave her a look that said, She totally did but she's still kicking him out of the house and refuses to let him see the kids. I have no idea why but it is what it is.
Katella rolled her eyes. "Well, I'm pretty sure he'll be our best bid," she said. "Hell, I would do him. The guy looks amazing for his age."
Seraphina laughed in surprise at her sister's outburst. "Oh my God, Kat," she said. "You have no filter, do you?"
"Oh, come on," Katella said, rolling her eyes. "Let's say you weren't professionally associated with the team and Dimitri hits on you. Are you seriously telling me you wouldn't take the opportunity? It's just me, your sister. You can be honest. No one has to know."
Seraphina rolled her eyes, laughing. "Speaking of that," she said, "how are you and Matt?"
Katella immediately sobered but she wasn't offended with the question. She understood Seraphina was asking both as a professional and as a sister. It was Seraphina's decision to bring Matt back for training camp, and after consulting with Cherney, they offered him a roster spot after one of their centers got injured and would be out the rest of the season. Katella wasn't going to lie - it was tough. She blamed Seraphina for that the first
month. She acted like an idiot, getting drunk and hooking up with Xander Vane. Poor Harper Crawford was her babysitter a couple of times. And she wasn't typically that type of woman. So October came and Katella decided she needed to get her shit together, that this wasn't going to change, and she needed to understand that. She was twenty-six now; she needed to act like a mature adult.
Katella shrugged. "I mean, it sucks," she said. "But it's not as bad as I thought it would be." She furrowed her brows, remembering the meeting. "He was actually standing up for me, if I'm being honest. Which is weird because even when we were together, he typically kept quiet, letting me fight my own battles."
"What do you mean, defended you?" Seraphina asked, cocking her head to the side.
"You know how Negan says stuff to piss me off?" she said. "Well, he was defending me to Negan. Like, telling him to back off."
"How did Negan take it?"
Katella snorted. "How do you think?" she asked.
"Do I have to keep an eye on those two?" Seraphina asked as Katella turned for the door.
"Not that I know of," Katella said over her shoulder. "Matt doesn't care about me anymore and Negan doesn't like me. Thanks for the chat, sis. See you at home!"
Katella headed out the door, refusing to think about her sister's insinuation that anything untoward between Matt and Negan would ever come to fruition. No way. Like she told Seraphina, Matt didn't care and Negan all but hated her. There was no reason to think otherwise.
Chapter 3
By the time Katella had finished speaking with her sister, the sun descended past the water, causing an array of glitter to shine on the changing blue ocean. It was hard to make out in the darkness. Now that the sun was gone, the water looked dark and ominous, filled with shadows and secrets. It was beautiful in its darkness, hard to look away from.
When she emerged from the building, she was surprised to find Matt leaning against the building, his broad shoulders hunched over. Somehow, he was immune to the cold - must be a hockey player thing - so he wore a simple t-shirt and black skinny jeans. Tattoos lined his arms like they were sleeves of a shirt and his black hair was combed back. He wore his glasses - God, he looked beautiful in glasses - and his olive skin was still smooth shaven. His brown eyes were warmer than she remembered - or maybe the last time he looked at her, that familiar, comforting look had been shielded from his eyes like glaciers over water. He looked like he was waiting for something - or someone. Katella rubbed her lips together and looked away, turning to head to her car. The door to the building clicked shut and from the corner of her eye, she felt Matt’s head snap in her direction.
"Kat," he called out.
She had already been a few paces away, her back to him. Her older Mercedes Benz her grandfather had bought her as a high school graduation present was in her sight. The white car shone even in the darkness. She could make a run for it, if she wanted. She would be able to get away.
But how could she justify running when she just finished talking to Seraphina about how she was doing the same thing with Brandon Thorpe? She huffed a breath. She was twenty-six years old. She needed to act like an adult even if she didn't exactly feel like one.
She took another breath and slowly turned around. She made sure to have a fake smile already on her face and she cleared her thoughts of the millions of questions that had popped up in her head the minute she saw him waiting there, the minute he called her name.
"Hey," she said, hoping her voice wasn't as shrieky as it came out. "What's up?" She clutched the strap of her purse tighter to her shoulder just to give herself something to hold onto. She felt like a buoy out in choppy waters, no chance of not being dragged further and further out to sea.
He furrowed his brow causing his forehead to wrinkle. He looked so cute when he was pensive, his brown eyes sparkling with that hint of curiosity he always had. She thought she had moved on, so why did it hurt to look at him now? Then, he shook his head and picked his eyes up off the pavement so he could look at her. His hands were shoved in his pockets. It was almost as though he was uncomfortable but also relaxed. Matt had always been full of contradictions.
"I just wanted to say hi," he told her. "Make sure you're okay."
Now it was her turn to furrow her brow.
"See if I'm okay?" she questioned.
"After that whole thing with Negan in the locker room," he explained. His shoulders eased down and he towered over her at six foot.
She shook her head dismissively. "That's typical with Negan," she said. "It's not a big deal."
To be honest, Katella had no idea why Matt even cared. It wasn't as though Negan was being disrespectful. He was just trying to get a reaction out of her. And yeah, the guy was obnoxious and aggravating and a downright pest - which made him a perfect hockey player - but not to the point where anyone needed to be concerned. Especially not Matt. He had no right to be concerned. It wasn't anyone's business, if she was being honest.
"I don't like the way he talks to you like that in front of everyone," he said. "Is there a reason why he does that?"
Matt didn't quite understand the nature of her relationship with Negan because he officially made the team a week ago. Katella was nowhere near them during practice and that was all the interaction Matt seemed to have with the team.
Katella shrugged. "Matt, it's not a big deal," she repeated. She cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. "Why do you care, anyway?"
"Because I do," he said. Matt was gentle until he was on the ice. It wasn't like him to snap. In fact, it wasn't like him to get defensive even if he had the right to. "I still care about you, Kat."
"Can we not do this?" she asked. Almost begged. "You left me. For some reason, you couldn't stand being around me to the point where you asked to be traded. And then you wanted to come back. And now you're telling me you don't like the way Negan talks to me? Negan is who he is. The great thing about him is that I can always count on him to be there."
Matt narrowed his brows. "And what is that supposed to mean?" he asked.
"It means it's none of your business, Matt," she told him. "There is nothing going on between me and anyone here. But if there was, you would be the last person I told." She pressed her lips together, wondering if she should push it, if she should try to grab the closure she needed to finally move on from the man standing in front of her. If it was even worth pursuing. "You left after two years of almost-commitment. And not just left, but you ran. You ran when I needed you the most. And now you're back, concerned? Who do you think you are? Who do you think I am?" She shook her head. "Just do us all a favor, Matt, and leave me alone, okay?"
James Negan wasn't the type to eavesdrop. He typically didn't give a shit about anyone's business, especially when it involved feelings, emotions, and love. But it wasn't his fault that he had stumbled upon Katella and Matt in the middle of...
Well, Negan had no idea what it would be called, technically. They weren't arguing, per se, but things were heated between them and even Negan could feel the thick tension between the two of them. Typically, he would have walked to his car, not caring if he interrupted anything, not caring if they stopped and waited for him to pass. But this was different because this involved Katella Hanson.
The first time he met her, he thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Of course, feeling his chest get tight and the self-doubt to creep in meant that he had to keep her at a distance because she had power over him. And he couldn't allow himself to be vulnerable with anyone the way he had been with Andrea, his high school sweetheart, the woman who wouldn't fix their relationship but also wouldn't sign the divorce papers. So he cheated on her. It wasn't right but it was all he could think of to get away from the three years of marriage that never should have happened. Granted, he shouldn't have proposed to her on the false claim that she was pregnant. He shouldn't have married her after she admitted it was all a farce. But there was something about that history that seemed to have its claws deep in his ba
ck and wouldn't let go.
Until he forced her off of him.
He didn't even care about the girl he slept with. She was some puck bunny he had seen around a few times and thought she was cute. Everyone knew he was married, no one really cared. So he fucked her and left her and allowed himself to get caught. Andrea got exactly what she wanted - she got to portray herself as the victim, she got an extra fifty thousand in the divorce settlement thanks to her cheating clause she forced into their prenup - but he didn't care. He was free.
When the Gulls picked him up, he was ecstatic. Yes, they sucked and probably weren't going to hit the playoffs anytime soon, but he was away from the crazy and the drama and he could start fresh.
And then he met Katella and his heart did that weird thing where it palpitated and it reminded him what it felt like to have a crush on someone. The problem was, she was beautiful and intelligent but she had her own baggage and he didn't want to deal with it. Matt Peters and Xander Vane? He didn't like competition and refused to indulge in trying to woo her even for a night. But there was just something about her that still drew him to her, and because of that, he picked on her.
Like they were in fucking elementary school.
And the problem was, picking on her did nothing to keep her away from him. Not in the way he had hoped. He liked the way she reacted, he liked the way he got under her skin. It made him feel special. Which was just stupid. A liability. Bad news. But he couldn't stop himself. He couldn't not pick on her. It was just too easy. And she looked just too cute.
It was easy to pick up the slight tremor in her voice. She was nervous, he could understand that. Matt really did treat her in a shitty manner - breaking up with her during her grandfather's murder and demanding to be traded only to stay a season with Toronto, didn't get resigned, then coming back with his tail between his legs like a moron. No wonder Katella wanted nothing to do with him. He sure as hell couldn't blame her. If anything, he was proud that she didn't seem to be falling for his bullshit.
Black Eyes & Blue Lines: A Slapshot Novel (Slapshot Series Book 2) Page 2
