by Lori Ryan
Ernie looked up at the ceiling. “You got a drill, Sam?”
Adding to Logan’s annoyance, she nodded and walked into the utility room that housed the hot water heater and furnace and came back with a large drill case in one hand and a tool box in another.
“Take whatever you need.” She put the cases down and came over to pet the dog, who greedily pushed into her arms for more. “What’s your dog’s name?”
Ernie didn’t bat an eye as he opened the drill case, sorting through bits for the right size. “His name is Billy, but he’s not my dog.”
“Whose dog is he?”
Logan got a weird twisty feeling in his gut at Sam’s question. Oh, hell no. He wouldn’t.
“He’s Logan’s.”
He did.
“No, he’s not,” Logan said, dropping the leash and taking a step away from both Sam and the dog. The dog followed Logan, pressing to Logan’s left side and shoving his head up under his hand.
“Sure he is,” Ernie said, “just look at him.” Ernie waved a hand at Logan and the dog, and damned if that dog didn’t press even further into Logan’s leg.
“No. He’s not.”
Sam started to laugh and Logan’s scowl only made her laugh harder.
Ernie was knocking on the low basement ceiling with his fist, and Chad joined in, searching for a beam to hang the bag on. They nodded at each other a few times, and Ernie marked a spot with a pencil. As he turned the chuck to fix the bit into place on the drill, he glanced up at Logan.
“Yeah, he’s your new service dog. You got lucky. There’s normally a very long wait. He was working with another veteran nearby but for a number of reasons, the match wasn’t the right fit. The guy’s kid is allergic to him. The service dog organization I work with is going to get him a poodle instead. There’s usually a one year or longer wait for a dog. I talked them into letting you have Billy since you’re in the area. That way, he doesn’t need to get shipped back to them in Massachusetts. You will need to attend training with him, though, but that can wait for a while.”
The drill started up as Chad began setting up the heavy bag, and Logan remembered Ernie and Chad had been friends. Maybe he shouldn’t have chosen Ernie as his counselor after all.
Logan yelled over the noise. “I don’t need a service dog. I don’t need any of this. I need you all to get the hell out and leave me alone.”
He saw Sam’s flinch, but he just kept going. He started to pace along one wall of the room, turning when he hit the end to go back to the other wall. Back and forth, walking to nowhere and getting there fast. He needed to get out of here. He needed gone. Now.
“I don’t need pity jobs or—” He stopped and looked down. The dog had moved himself in front of Logan’s legs and was pressed up against him. He rubbed his head up and down Logan’s leg.
“What the hell is your dog doing?” Logan yelled, but the whine of the drill stopped halfway through his question and the room went silent as his too loud words met the emptiness.
“Your dog,” said Ernie calmly. “You’re getting upset. He’s responding to it.”
The dog placed his mouth gently on Logan’s hand. Not biting or clamping down. Just holding his hand.
Logan stared at the dog.
“If you’re having a nightmare,” Ernie continued, “he’ll place his paws on your shoulders and lick your face to wake you. If you need him to, he’ll crawl right up in your lap and just let you hold him for hours. Some of it is trained and some just comes naturally to him. He’s really quite good at his job.”
Despite Logan’s dumbfounded expression, Ernie just smiled down at the dog. “He’s got a natural aptitude for this work.”
“He’s fantastic,” Sam said, beaming at the dog. “Is he a rescue?”
Sam hadn’t batted an eye at Logan’s sour mood, and he wondered how many times he’d have to kick her before she’d give up and leave him alone. He didn’t know if he could stomach much more of it, so he hoped she’d give up soon. It wasn’t in him to be cruel to her, but he needed her to stay away from him.
“Yup,” Ernie answered. “The organization works with shelters. The shelter calls if they think a dog will pass the screening. If they take them into the program, they get training and are placed with someone needing their skills. If they fail the training, the group adopts them out. By then, the training they’ve had usually makes them great family dogs.”
While Sam and Ernie talked, Chad lifted the heavy bag up while Zach affixed the chain at the top of it to the large hook Chad had just installed. Ernie nodded and turned to Sam.
“What’s for dinner? It smells fantastic.”
“Paella,” she said with a smile as the group walked upstairs, leaving Logan and the dog watching after them.
He looked at their retreating backs, then up at the heavy bag, and down at the dog. Billy looked up at him with open, brown eyes. Logan grunted at him and picked up the gloves Ernie had left against the wall. Slipping them on, he chose a position that allowed him to watch the door and beat on the bag at the same time, and started up a rhythm, letting the steady sound of the punches roll over him. Billy watched for a minute, then chose a spot in the corner and laid down. He rolled over on one hip, but his shoulders and head remained upright and alert. A sentry, Logan thought, and kept on pounding on the bag.
Chapter Nineteen
“Billy!”
Sam watched with interest as Ernie called the dog the following morning. Ernie had slept on one couch while Chad and Zach had taken turns on the other, swapping out halfway through the night. Logan hadn’t come upstairs.
“I’m wondering if Billy can get Logan to come up,” Ernie said quietly to Sam. “Either way, the dog needs to go out to the bathroom and eat something.”
“Billy!” Ernie called out to the dog again. Chad came down from the third floor, where he’d been taking his turn in the shower. Zach was in the living room with the eggs, sausage, and toast Sam had made for him. She piled a plate up for Ernie and one for Chad, while trying not to look too expectantly at the stairs.
The sound of Logan’s voice came up the stairs, but it sounded like he was arguing with Billy, maybe trying to send him up alone. Could a dog, that hadn’t been trained to do so, dig in its heels and refuse to come up without his companion? Sam didn’t even know if it was possible to train a dog to do that, but it had seemed like Billy saw something in Logan—a need, maybe? He’d seemed to respond to it last night, and Sam held her breath as she listened to the one-sided argument with the dog coming from downstairs.
Apparently, Billy won out because Logan and the dog came up the stairs, heading toward the living room rather than the kitchen. Sam tried not to stare as Logan opened the sliding doors and let Billy outside to relieve himself, but she couldn’t help it. She wanted to drink him in. To somehow assess how he was, what holes there were in his armor and how she might get through them. She wanted to see him back on the mend the way he had been only last week. Because right now, he seemed lost to her. So lost and far away, despite their proximity.
She knew he wasn’t here voluntarily. She knew he was doing all he could to keep the walls up between them. That he’d leave as soon as they stopped the threat to her. And the thought of that crushed her. She didn’t know how he could believe there was anything wrong with him, anything wrong with what he’d done.
When Logan shut the door after Billy came back in the house, Sam spun and turned back to the kitchen. She could hear his steps coming closer, so she put a plate of food together for him and poured a cup of coffee. He nodded and gave a small grunt when she passed them over to him. Nobody said much as Logan began shoveling food into his mouth and Ernie poured food into a bowl for Billy.
“Sam,” said Zach quietly, handing her his iPad. “It’s hit the newspapers.”
Sam took the tablet from him and swallowed hard when her eyes scanned the photos of her wounds on the screen in front of her. She had known they’d be printed. Had prepared herself for it. Or so
she thought. It turned out, seeing them there on the screen was a lot harder to handle. She hit the arrows for the slideshow and saw a picture of Eric Westbrook, of Logan in his uniform looking much younger than he did now. She scanned the article. This reporter interviewed several people who were coming out on Logan’s side and were irate about Westbrook’s treatment of a veteran, just as she’d hoped. She wondered, though, if there were others who saw this as vigilante justice. Others who would have Logan see the inside of a jail cell before this was over.
Ernie and Chad kept talking while she read, but Sam slowly became aware that Logan had frozen over his food and was watching her intently. She locked the screen of the iPad and set it aside, and turned to pet Billy. Logan rose slowly and came toward her in the too-small kitchen. He reached around to the counter behind her and picked up the iPad, swiping the screen with his finger.
Sam stood stock still as he looked through the pictures and scanned the article. Her heart beat wildly in her chest and she raised her eyes to find his gaze angry and hard on her. She gasped and moved backward and then Zach was there, tugging her out from between the counter and Logan, placing his body between Logan and hers.
The growl from Logan’s chest was feral and dark, almost primal in its pain and anguish and Sam had no idea how to respond. She didn’t know if he was angry with her, angry with the reporter, or Westbrook, or simply all of it. But the look on his face had scared her. And that wasn’t a feeling she liked.
Logan spun and stalked from the room. Billy stuck to his leg like the Velcro dog he appeared to be as they made their way back to the basement. Moments later, they heard the pounding of Logan’s fist on the heavy bag and Sam was glad Ernie had brought it. She didn’t know how Logan would have vented if his counselor hadn’t given him the outlet.
That didn’t stop the burning in her eyes and she blinked several times, wrapping her arms around her waist. As though she could guard herself from all the feelings hitting her so harshly without seeming to care if she buckled under them.
Ernie crossed the kitchen, stopping to squeeze Sam’s arm as he walked toward the basement stairs. Chad pulled Sam into his arms and she fell against him, letting him hold her up for just a few minutes. She’d get her strength back in a minute, but for now, she wanted to be held up.
*****
Logan didn’t look up when Ernie entered the room. The ache in his arms was starting to cut through the haze in his brain. Ernie lowered himself to the floor of the room, the move inelegant with the prostheses. He leaned back against a wall, but didn’t say anything. Just folded his hands in his lap and waited. Well, he could wait all damned day, for all Logan cared.
Christ. Seeing those pictures of Sam had gutted Logan. Completely gutted him. He should have protected her. He had known she was in danger, and he’d gone off and left her. His thoughts flashed quickly to Jeff, whose mom still sat by his bedside in the hospital, praying her son would wake up from the coma he was in. Logan had underestimated these people, whoever the hell they were. And wasn’t that just the kicker?
Sam had said she knew who was after her and he was so screwed up in the head, he couldn’t even be in the same room with her long enough to find out who it was and take care of things. His issues were getting in the way of making her safe again. What was wrong with him?
He let his arms fall to his sides, but didn’t remove the gloves. Billy whined in the corner, but simply sat and waited, as though Logan might tell him what he needed any minute.
“Sam said she knew who was doing this?”
Ernie nodded. “She does. She and Chad have given the information to the police. They’re handling it.”
“I should be handling it. I should be up there helping her, but I can’t. I can’t trust myself not to leave here and rip whoever the hell it is into pieces. I can’t help her because I can’t even control myself long enough not to maim and kill.”
When Ernie didn’t speak, Logan went on. “You have to put on this cloak as a SEAL. You harden yourself. You’re not just a man anymore. You become a dangerous weapon. I thought I could shed that cloak when I came back. I thought I could drop that and go back to just being a man, but I can’t. The danger is still there.”
“Do you really believe that?”
Logan spun on Ernie. “Hell yes, I believe it! I didn’t even hesitate with those men. I didn’t think about whether to neutralize them or use deadly force. I just knew she was in danger and I came in and killed them all.”
Ernie murmured a speculative, but noncommittal sound.
“What!” Logan practically shouted at the man. “What the hell can you possibly say to that?”
“I can’t really say anything to it, Logan. Only you know what happened that night. I can only tell you the facts I know.”
“What the hell do you know? You don’t know shit.” Logan turned away, unable to look at Ernie. Unable to have this conversation.
Apparently, Ernie didn’t get the hint because he went on talking. “I know you have years of experience as a member of one of this nation’s most elite military special ops groups. That you honed instincts during those years that likely kept you and others alive many times, instincts that are likely well beyond those of many other members of the armed forces. I know that you perceived several things that night and you took them all into account. You knew Sam’s safety was compromised. You knew something had happened to Jeff, a heavily trained and armed man, to cause him to be away from his post. You knew a man with some serious artillery guarded the entrance to Sam’s home. Not your everyday, average burglar, or even a seriously armed burglar. A man with heavy duty weapons designed to kill quickly and efficiently. You knew he was standing guard at the door, which meant it was reasonable to presume there were others in the house. At least one or more persons, presumably as armed and dangerous as that man. And they were inside, with Sam.”
Logan turned his head warily, as Ernie continued, and he met his counselor’s steady gaze.
Ernie went on. “You knew how much time had passed from the initial time of entry to the time you arrived on scene. You knew what they could do to Sam in that time frame if they had gotten to her. You took action to neutralize the threat, Logan. That’s what you did. Sam doesn’t fault you for that. The Feds don’t fault you for it. And when this all shakes out, I wouldn’t be surprised if a hell of a lot of the people in this community have your back, too.”
Logan crossed to the wall opposite Ernie and sank down, pulling the gloves from his hands. Billy was there in an instant, laying his legs across Logan’s lap and resting his head across Logan’s arm. They were quiet for a long time.
“He’s gonna be a hell of a good service dog for you. Once you get all caught up on his training you’ll make a good team,” Ernie said quietly.
Logan nodded. He’d keep the dog.
They sat there quietly for another few minutes before Logan spoke again. “She shouldn’t have released those pictures, Ernie,” Logan said and his voice all but cracked under the anguish he’d felt at seeing Sam’s injuries. She shouldn’t have to show those to the world.
“She’s a strong woman, that’s for damn sure,” Ernie said.
“She was afraid of me up there.”
“No, she was afraid of your reaction to the photos. If she was afraid of you, I wouldn’t be here right now. She wouldn’t have stood up for you and brought me in here to help you, if you frightened her. She stood up to you and all your bluster to get you the help you need.”
Logan laughed. “My bluster?”
Ernie smiled and reached out an arm. “Yeah. You’ve got a lot of it. Now help me up. We need to go see what Sam found on those guys and put an end to this. You have a life to get to and it doesn’t involve running off to some island by yourself somewhere.”
Logan grunted, but he felt like he had when his mom had found him hiding under the dining room table when he’d “run away” as a kid.
“I was going to the mountains,” he grumbled as they made
their way up the stairs with Billy between them.
Ernie snorted. “At least if you’re going to run away, go tropical, dude.”
“Did you really just call me dude?”
Chapter Twenty
Sam came down the stairs just as Ernie and Logan made their way back up from the basement. She had showered and changed and now looked at Logan’s face, searching for any clues. How far away from her was he? Was he still hurting and running as far as he could in his head, or was he on his way back to her? What she saw made her heart trip over itself. His face softened as he looked at her. He came over to the bottom of the stairs and pulled her into his arms, wrapping her up and kissing the top of her head.
“I’m sorry, Sam,” he whispered.
Sam tilted her head and met his eyes.
“Are you okay?”
“No. I’ll get there. Someday. It just might take a while.”
Sam looked up at him. “I have time.”
He nodded, a lump in his throat making it suspiciously hard to talk.
“Plus, I like your new dog. He’s super cool. I emailed Jack. Since he’s a service dog, he gets to come to work with you!”
She practically vibrated with excitement and Logan couldn’t help but laugh as he looked down at the dog by his leg. “I have a feeling he wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Sam smiled up at him and his heart melted. How the hell had he thought he’d be able to pull away from her? He didn’t have it in him. He might be a strong man when it came to a lot of things, but putting up walls where this woman was concerned wasn’t one of them. He shook his head and rubbed her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs as his hands cradled her head.
“You didn’t need to release those pictures for me, Sam. God, I wouldn’t have you relive those moments, that fear, for anything in the world. Sure as hell not for me.”
He wanted to be the one protecting her, not the other way around.
