by York, Mattie
“Good.”
“Good, good. Now, Dora just told me that you wanted to book double appointments. Is that wise? Do you need money? Are you in trouble?”
“Oh yes, everything is fine.”
“Ok then darling, as long as you are not too tired. I don’t want any dark circles under your eyes ruining that beautiful face. You are sure nothing is wrong?” Angela asked again.
“No, really, I am fine. I am good. Just, well,” she paused, “I need some money.”
“Anything serious? Darling, I can give you a loan, if you need something quick. You didn’t come to our investment group meeting, but we had quite a few girls show up. We would be happy to give you a loan with that money. That’s what it’s for. To help us and to help other girls. Dora can set it up. The interest is really cheap.” Angela paused for a response, but Chieko was quiet. “Well, I want to help if I can. It’s not for a boob job, is it? Because Chieko darling, you don’t need to waste your money. No, I know, some of my girls have done it. And some want to. But I always tell them straight up. Natural is best. Work with what god gave you right? If you love what you have, everyone else will to. And who wants to go through the recovery and the pain?”
“No, no, it’s not. No, I don’t need it fast. I just want to save some money. I, maybe,” she said slowly, “I want to go back to school.”
“Oh, wow! A girl with a brain! I knew there was something special about you Chieko. Ok, well, you can call me if you change your mind. Especially if you’re using it for something good like your education. I can arrange the loan with almost no interest at all. Especially for one of my girls. And I’m serious, give a thought about our investment group. It’s important to save some of your money, and we can make it grow much quicker than in a bank.”
“Ok, thank you.”
“Yes, darling, do take care of yourself though. Call me if you change your mind or get too tired, ok?”
“Yes, thank you,” Chieko hung up the phone. Why did she just tell Angela about school? That was just a thought. She hadn’t even decided. She had enough money saved for a flight back to Tokyo, and at least enough to support herself until she could find a job. But tuition for the University? She would have to work a lot more appointments. But, it could work. Her marks from the Academy were so high, she should still be able to enroll in the Journalism program. They had offered her a scholarship the year before, before she had run away with John. She wouldn’t be allowed back into the Academy though. And she knew that her parents wouldn’t help her. She doubted if they would ever forgive her for running away and for wasting her grandmothers’ money.
Chieko smiled, remembering her Grandmother. She hadn’t thought about her in ages. What would her grandmother do, she wondered? Her grandmother had been a geisha. And although Japanese geisha officials swore up and down that it was just a respectable entertainment service, Chieko suspected that being a geisha wasn’t just about giving concerts and serving tea. If the stories that Chieko had heard from the Tokyo girls were true, it didn’t sound to be that different than escorting. Well, except for the studying and the traditions. And the tea ceremony. And the clothing.
She still remembered sneaking up into the attic and peeking inside her grandmother’s old trunks, carefully pulling out the delicately tied rolls of silk, unraveling her gorgeous kimonos. Chieko could sit for hours tracing her fingers over the fine embroidery. Watching as the delicate pink cherry blossoms came alive under her fingers and sprayed their sweet spring fragrance into the stale attic air. The crisp yellow and red gingko leaves rustled in the strong blowing wind of damp rainy autumn days, their sharp points pricking Chieko’s fingers as she traced their reckless flight down the dark gray silk. And her favorite; her grandmother’s dark blue kimono that faded as it sank beneath the rolling, crashing ocean waves that swept around the bottom of the robe, splashing specks of silver up into the winter sky. Chieko always thought that must be what a sailor must see, out at sea, alone surrounded by wild frothing waves and a pale grey sky stretching out forever in every direction. An undulating pattern of beauty and unlimited freedom.
Wait. Did Angela just ask her if she was going to get a boob job? Fake breasts? Chieko shook her head. That woman is so crazy! Why would she waste her money on that! Imagine a Japanese girl with big boobs? With a sigh, she picked up the pen and continued to write.
I regret that my actions have caused you sorrow and embarrassment. I am writing you now to let you know that I am safe and well. I am in Toronto, Canada. I am studying English and am working at a part time job to pay the bills. I plan to return one day to Japan to begin my university training. I will write you again when I have a more definite plan for my future. I just wanted to let you know so you would not worry. I am safe and in good health and think of you with fondness. I think of my actions with regret and ask you to remember me from time to time.
Please do not worry about me.
I think of you often and remember you with love.
Your faithful daughter, Chieko
Chieko rewrote the letter on formal paper, folded it carefully and put it in her handbag. She slipped on her shoes and jacket, slung her bag over her shoulder and let herself out; testing the door to make sure it locked behind her.
Stuffing her hands into her pockets she walked quickly down the street, stepping off the sidewalk into High Park and following a narrow foot path into the wooded area. As she felt the late afternoon sunshine on her face, Chieko began to relax. She loved being close to the calming stillness of nature. As she breathed in the crispness of the late summer air, she noticed her footsteps left tracks in the damp mud of the path. Twice, she paused inhaling the damp earthiness, sensing the aliveness of kami - the Shinto forest spirits of the forest. “Arigato kozaimus,” she whispered three times into the still air, asking for blessings from the tree spirits.
As she emerged from the tranquility of the wooded area, the roaring waves and wet fishiness of the water assaulted her senses. The waters of Lake Ontario looked cold and wild and Chieko shivered in her light jacket. No swimmers brave enough to battle the waves today. She walked along the lake shore, dodging the cold spray as the waves crashed against the rocks and watching in awe as the sun rays turned the white caps into a cacophony of sparkling gold. She carefully scrambled along the rocky shore and onto the large boulder that jutted out into the surf. She crawled right to the top, careful not to slip and stood up tall, gazing out over the far horizon. She closed her eyes and focused on the roar of the water and the warmth of the late afternoon sun on her face trying to block all other thoughts from her mind. Slowly her breath joined the rhythm of the crashing waves.
After a few moments, she opened her eyes and took out the letter she had written earlier. Unfolding it, Chieko read it out loud to the wind. When she finished, she folded the paper into the shape of a small boat. Finding a calm area sheltered from the wind among the rocks, she lit the small boat with her lighter and placed it into the waves.
The flames blazed bright against the dark green of the water. The small boat battled valiantly but all too soon it was overcome by a large wave. It capsized and slowly sank into the murky water. Chieko waited watching until all traces of the letter had gone. Then she turned and walked down back down off the rocks. One day she would write the letter again. And that day, she would actually mail it.
45
Alex sighed and turned off her mustang’s engine. She looked down the tree lined street and listened to the neighbourhood sounds of children’s laughter, a dog barking and the low roar of a lawn mower. Birds sang out from the trees and a squirrel scampered across the street. Shaded under the large chestnut tree, Alex watched a middle aged father help his son sort out his hockey equipment. “Handsome,” she muttered, noticing the slight graying at the man’s temple and the ruggedness of his face. “And still in pretty good shape. Wonder if anyone out here gets Sunday morning deliveries?” She laughed, thinking of all her past middle aged clients who were probably spending their Su
nday afternoons with their oblivious families as well.
Alex pushed her sunglasses up on her nose, noticing the afternoon sun sparkling off the lake behind her parent’s house. The drive up north, out of the city had been peaceful and refreshing. The sky was clear and blue and the leaves were just beginning to change their colours, creating a kaleidoscope of green, orange and yellow. There was a patch along Highway 400 that Alex just loved at this time of year. The farms on either side of the highway grew mustard plants and for a few rare weeks, the flowers were in bloom creating an almost fluorescent carpet of bright yellow. It was stunning.
The drive had also given Alex some time to think. The past few weeks had been a blur. She still couldn’t believe that Joseph had bought an apartment for her. Joseph had been so adorable and generous, spending his time with Alex, shopping for furniture, decorating, and moving in. But what gave Alex the biggest thrill, was just hanging out with him. Being there when he got home from work. Snuggling into his warm arms in the morning when he pressed the snooze button and reached for her. And just walking down the street with him, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. It made her glow every time another women glanced admiringly at him, knowing that he was hers. She looked down at her hands remembering how Joseph had reached for her hand after leaving Flo’s diner. It was just automatic. Already an old habit. Her hand had never felt so at home.
Everything was going great, except, well, the money thing. It was all Joseph’s money. Now that she quit escorting she didn’t have any income of her own. Not that Joseph didn’t take care of her. He did. It just felt awkward for Alex. Being a kept women. She was so used to worrying about money, getting a job, keeping a job, watching her bank account go up and then go down. She didn’t like asking for money. Or having to worry what someone else would think about her spending choices. She sighed. She’d get used to it she supposed. Isn’t that how most married women lived? Checking her reflection in the rear view mirror, Alex grimaced and then opened the car door.
“Hello there,” a voice boomed out from the garage.
“Oh, hey, hi dad,” Alex peered into her dad’s dark workspace, inhaling the familiar aroma of smoked cigars and wood shavings. Alex’s mother didn’t like her father smoking and refused to let him near the house with his cigars. So Alex’s dad usually spent most of his spare time building shelves and cabinets in the garage.
Her dad grinned as Alex walked in the door. Shit! Alex stopped and looked down at the floor. She had never realized it before, but most of her clients had been about the same age as her dad. They were definitely somebody else’s dad. She shuddered and turned quickly away, her eyes landing on her dad’s finished cabinet. She pretended to admire it as she tried to shake off that creepy feeling of regret and revolt growing in her stomach. It wasn’t your dad, for god’s sake, she told herself. He’s not like that. Get over it. Alex took a deep breath in, trying to push away the past.
“Your mother will be glad to see you. She thinks you’re up to something?”
Alex looked up at him in surprise. “Me? No, nothing. Just work.”
As Alex’s father smiled at her, his eyes twinkled with laughter. Alex’s stomach sank. How come he always knew when she wasn’t telling the truth? “Better make up a story quick then. Make it exciting to get your mother off the scent,” he laughed and popped his cigar back into his mouth as he started sanding a piece of wood. “Call me, when dinner’s ready,” he called out as Alex ducked out of the garage and slowly walked down the path to her parent’s house.
The front door was open and she could hear voices inside. She followed the sounds into the kitchen. “Elixia,” her mother looked up as she walked in. “You made it. Thank god. Just in time. Mary and Frank are helping me set the table. They have a big announcement but they said they wouldn’t say what it is until after dinner. So,” she winked at Alex’s sister, “I decided we would have an earlier dinner tonight. How was the traffic?”
“Oh, fine. Not too busy. It’s a beautiful day.” Alex walked around the kitchen table to get a good look at her sister. “Mom said you lost weight?” She didn’t look any skinner. How could she? Alex never thought of Mary as fat. She wasn’t. She was shorter than Alex, with a smaller chest. She had always worn size 8 or 10 which was 2 sizes smaller than Alex. But her face was rounded. Ok, maybe she had gained a bit of weight since she got married. But she wasn’t fat. Actually, it looked good on her. She looked healthy. Nothing to worry about. Yet, for some reason, Alex’s mother always did.
“Well a little,” Mary rolled her eyes. “I’m working on it.”
“Working on what? You look great.”
“No,” Mary sighed. “I gained so much weight over the summer. It’s awful. Did Mom tell you about our house?”
“Yeah,” Alex said as Mary’s husband came in and wrapped his arms around her sister’s waist.
“Hey Alex,” Frank said as he leaned around to kiss Mary on the cheek. “Yeah, we’re pretty excited.”
“Stop it,” Mary giggled and tried to shrug him off.
Alex rolled her eyes and wandered over to the fridge. Her mother smiled at the happy couple. “Aren’t they adorable? Your father was like that too, when we were young. Frank is such a nice man.”
Alex rolled her eyes again and grabbed a few raspberries that were waiting in a bowl. She stood with her back to the family, the fridge door open, searching for whipped cream or cake to go with the raspberries. Alex didn’t like Frank. Of course, it really didn’t matter, she didn’t have to. She wasn’t married to him. He was just seemed too high strung for her. And too self-absorbed.
Her sister actually washed and ironed his business shirts for him and laid out what he was going to wear each morning before he went off to work. Mary had told Alex one day that she had been too busy to make Frank’s lunch before he left, and he had called her in the middle of the day, to ask her to make him one and bring it to him at work. Mary had laughed at how cute he was.
Alex smirked as Frank walked by. If her sister laid out his clothes every morning, you’d think she could find him pants that weren’t so tight. What a dork! It was funny to watch him though, walk around her house, trying to impress her family like he was this big business hot shot. He was a manager of a call centre. He hadn’t even gone to university. Alex shook her head. Why did her parents like him? Because, she thought wryly, apparently a marriage certificate made you a real person. If her parents only knew. Joseph was at least 10 times as rich as Frank. He was the boss of a hell of a lot more than a call centre. His business shirts were sent out to the cleaners and his pants fit.
“Elixia, close the fridge! And stop eating all the dessert!” Her mother snapped. “Go and call your father. Dinner is ready.” Alex closed the fridge and went out to call her dad. This is going to be a long dinner, she thought.
“Ok, you two lovebirds,” Alex’s mother smiled at Mary and Frank as she poured the tea, “so what is your announcement?”
Mary looked at Frank. “You tell them.”
Frank reached over and squeezed Mary’s hands. “Don’t you want to? It was your idea.”
“No, you go ahead.”
“Oh, my god,” Alex said, “you’re pregnant?”
Alex’s mom screamed and clapped her hands over her mouth, her eyes twinkling with excitement.
“No,” Mary glared at Alex. “Thanks Alex. No, we’re not pregnant.”
“Yet,” Frank squeezed Mary’s hand tight.
Mary smiled and looked up at her mother, father and Alex who were all staring at her. “Frank got a raise. That was our announcement.”
“Oh wonderful, dear,” Alex’s mother clapped her hands. “What a wonderful thing since you just bought the new house.”
“Yes,” Mary smiled. “It all worked out so well.”
“Congratulations,” Alex’s dad stood up and shook Frank’s hand. “Be sure to put some of that aside.”
“Of course, of course,” Frank was beaming from ear to ear.
“That’s great. How much do you get?” Alex asked
“Alex, please don’t be rude.”
“Let’s just say it’s substantial,” Frank grinned, readjusting the waist of his pants.
“Does that mean you are the boss of the call centre, now?”
“Why,” asked Mary, “you looking for a job?”
“No,” said Alex, “no, I’m ok.”
“Are you? Because Mom said you’re just temping. You know, Frank could put in a good word for you. Frank says they are always hiring customer representatives.”
“No, I’m fine,” Alex glared at her sister.
“Yes, dear, isn’t that nice of Frank?” Alex’s mother said. “I think it’s just a lovely idea.”
“Not right now. I’m pretty busy with work and well, I’m moving into a new apartment.”
“What?” her mother dropped her fork. “You are? What happened?”
“Did you get evicted?” Mary asked.
“No, no, everything is fine. I just found a place I like better.”
Alex’s mother frowned. “Are you sure it’s ok? Do you want your father to come down and check it out? I don’t want you to get into another mess.”
“No, mom, it’s good. Really. It’s nice. Right downtown, so it’s better for work. And well, it’s this lady from the office. You know the advertising agency. She’s going through a divorce, her husband left her, so she needs a roommate to help with the rent.”
“Alex,” her mother sighed, “do you really need another roommate?”
“Yes mom,” Alex scowled at her mother. “It’s at Bloor and Yonge and it’s a beautiful apartment. I’m really happy there and it’s much cheaper than my last apartment.”
“So,” Alex’s mother sighed, “is this what your life is going to be like? Look at your sister. She is married, just bought a new house. Look at how happy her and Frank are. Do you see what I mean?” Alex’s mother looked at her father. “She gets this from you. I didn’t raise my daughter to be a hobo, to shuffle around from job to job, living like a gypsy. When are you going to grow up, Elixia? You are attractive enough, why can’t you find a man and start your life?”
