by Lauren Helms
Special appearances like Comic-Con are all part of the gig. A team signing session is nothing out of the ordinary. You smile, say, "Hi, thanks for coming," sign whatever is placed in front of you, and you're on to the next one. It's all about meeting the fans, letting them know you're a real person and not some robot created by the game developers to kick their ass in a multiplayer round. But today, out of nowhere I looked up and saw a woman so gorgeous I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I forgot about what’s normal.
She is a little bit on the short side, maybe about 5'3” or 5'4”. She could be athletic, but she has some killer curves. Her hair is a dark brown and sits on her shoulders. What really caught my attention was her face. It was all soft and sweet looking. She just looked like someone I wanted to talk to; someone who would just be a really nice person. It was so strange because I've never looked at someone before and thought "I'd really just like to meet her," in the most genuine way.
But shit, then she looked at me—right at me. And her eyes—they stopped my heart for a beat. They were the prettiest eyes I'd ever seen. At that moment, I thought to myself, if I don't ever see this woman again, I know I’ll never be able to forget those clear, gray-blue eyes. When they stared at me, it was as if I sat there naked. Those eyes saw every last part of me, inside and out. I was immediately thankful that she still had to get Bernie's signature, because at that moment if she were to talk to me, I wouldn’t have been able to speak.
I was at war with myself during the minutes it took for it to be my turn to sign her stuff. On one hand, I wanted my turn with her so I could talk to her. I was eager to speak with her—for her to become real to me, but on the other, I wanted her to stay away. I wasn’t ready to meet the girl of my dreams, the one I'm not looking for—the one I don't have time for in my life right now. In the end though, reality won out. She was standing there in front of me, and I had to, just had to talk to her. And I really wanted to touch her, but she seemed as dazed as I had just felt seconds ago. She didn't even seem to register that I was asking her a question. Finally, like her head caught up with the moment, she shoved her hand out at me and introduced herself, admitting that she had no clue what a positive K/D is.
I didn't hesitate on the opportunity to shake her hand, but at that point, she started drawing the attention of the team and others around us. That’s when Ruby, who I didn't notice at first, brought us both back to reality. All too soon, it was over, and all I was left with was a name and the memory of a face I'll probably never see again.
“Dex, hello….Earth to Dexter.” I snap out of my thoughts of Morgan (damn, even her name was perfect). I clear my throat, “Yeah, sorry Bernie, what did you say?’
“I asked if the food court was fine or if you prefer to leave the convention center to get lunch,” Bernie asks with a fascinated look on her face. She’s the only female on our team.
“Oh, the food court. Definitely,” I reply.
“Yeah, only because you want the chance to see dream girl again,” Simon mocks.
“What?!” both Link and Bernie question at the same time.
I groan and start walking toward the food court. “Nothing. Simon’s being a dick.”
I hear the dick chuckle behind me as Bernie starts asking him questions. But I can tell they are all following. Link catches up to me and asks, “Hey, tell me about this Morgan chick.”
“Noting to tell. She came through the line with a shirt to be signed. She introduced herself, we shook hands, that was it. End of story.”
I try really hard to not look at him but sneak a quick glance and see him grin. Damn it. The guy has known me since we were like five. Of course he knows.
“Alright, I can see you’d rather try to bullshit me, so when you're ready to tell me about her, let me know.” I don’t have to look at him to know it’s taking everything in him to not continue to rag me about it. I just grunt.
But damn it, the next thing I know Bernie is next to me, and I just know she won’t let it go. She is like an annoying little sister when it comes to this stuff. She fits with our team perfectly, but when it comes to dating and girls, she goes all…well, girl on us and wants to know the details.
“Personally, I think it sounds romantic, like the perfect meet-cute in a romance book,” she dreamily informs me. Simon and Link are both laughing now.
“Since when do you read romance books, Bern,” I shoot back at her.
She goes stiff as her eyes shoot daggers at me, “I read. And it’s never been anyone’s business what I read. Anyway, I saw her, and I think she is adorable. And she couldn’t take her eyes off you.”
“She was pretty smoking” I hear Simon say from behind us.
“Damn, and I missed it all,” Link pouts, sounding more pathetic than not. Honestly, why is this such a big deal?
Ok, I’m done with this conversation. With a sigh I say, “Yes, she was hot, and I’ll admit that it took me by surprise when I saw her. But I have no idea who she is, where she is from, and I’ll probably never see her again. With that being said, we see and meet people every day that we’ll never see again in our lives It is what it is, and I’m done talking about it.” There. That should shut them up.
And it does for like two minutes. Then I hear Bernie quietly say, “Well, you were right; Simon has no idea what a positive K/D is, that’s for sure.”
The three of us crack up while Simon mutters, “That’s bullshit.” Topic closed. Thank God. I’m going to have a hard enough time keeping my mind off those eyes, her beautiful face, and that soft, warm hand in mine. I don’t need these guys bringing her up.
***
Thirty minutes later we’ve found a table right outside the convention center with our lunches from various food booths. California is really hot in July, and the convention center is packed and stuffy, so being outside is a welcome reprieve.
I’m thrilled I’m no longer a topic of conversation, but upcoming events and panels are. We’ve been coming to Comic-Con for a couple of years now, and I don’t think any of us have gotten tired of it. There is always so much to do and see.
“Holy shit. I heard there was a dancing Chewbacca roaming around, but it’s not something you can believe until you see it,” Link says in awe.
I look up from my lunch and turn my head in the direction of where Link, Bernie, and Simon are looking. Yup. There he was. Break dancing. In the middle of the sidewalk. Dang, he was good.
“He has got to be hot in that thing. I mean, it’s like 85 degrees out here and he is wearing the full, furry Chewy suit,” Bernie says with concern.
“No doubt. But that’s pretty impressive.” I reply.
“The one thing that gets kind of annoying here at good ol’ Comic-Con is the cosplay. People have way too much time on their hands,” Link comments as he turns back to his massive burrito.
“I find it inspiring,” Bernie defends with a shrug.
“Yeah, but you also dress up like Lara Croft…every year. And you go all out.” She ignores Link’s last comment with an eye roll and goes back to her lunch.
Chuckling to myself, I don’t bother mentioning that Link has no room to talk, since he dressed up like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle from the time he was in second grade to at least seventh grade, and whenever we went to Halloween parties in high school. I’m pretty sure my mom has pictures. Several pictures, actually. I’ll save that little memory for a rainy day.
Chapter Six
Morgan
Back in the hotel, we get ready to go out to a nice dinner. Ruby is paying for my dinner as her payback for earlier. I climb out of the shower and go back out into our double queen bed junior suite when I hear Gia's voice through Ruby's speakerphone.
"She did what?" laughs Gia.
"You heard me; she shook his hand and confessed she knew nothing about gaming," Ruby replies. "Oh look, she's out of the shower now, so you can ask her yourself!"
I cringe a little. "Come on, guys. I thought we were moving on from this," I say.
&n
bsp; Ruby chimes, "I told you we were going to call her."
I still hear laughter coming from Gia as I say, "Gia, look, it was stupid and embarrassing, but it's not that big of a deal. Don't read anything into this."
"No, Morgan, it is a big deal. We've been friends since 10th grade and I've never known you to get all hot and bothered by a guy," she replies, and both she and Ruby lose their cool to a fit of laughter.
I plop down on the bed opposite of Ruby and pout. "I was not hot and bothered. He was hot. And yeah, it bothers me that I made myself look like a fool. But that's it," I confess.
"Morgan, we love you. We're just giving you a hard time. When was the last time you gave us some real ammunition to make fun of you with?"
I actually try very hard not to embarrass myself. Every once in a while, I will tell a bad joke, or worse, not get a joke, but for the most part, I’m boring. "I know," I say, sighing. "I just, I can't believe I did that. He just took me by surprise, and I don't like surprises."
"I get it, Mo. Just let us have our laugh now and then we can all move on." Gia replies. "But I still really wish I could have witnessed it."
"You know, what if it was the universe's way of telling you that you just met your soul mate for the first time? What if Dex is the one? “Ruby says thoughtfully, and I hear Gia gasp and say "oooooh" like she can’t believe this thought never occurred to her.
Now I’m laughing. "Ha! Right. No way am I meant to fall in love with some…professional video gamer. And Gia, you don't even believe in soul mates, so you just be quiet!"
"No, I don't, but you do. And wouldn't it be a good story someday? I know how you love a good story and happy ending," Gia retorts.
Yeah, good stories and happy endings in the books I read. Because that’s really the only time there truly are happy endings. Instead of sharing my rather depressing but real thoughts on the way life is supposed to turn out, I just say "sure," and move off the bed to my suitcase to pick out my outfit for dinner.
"Ok, guys, how about this? Will y'all just leave the whole thing alone and let me forget about the most embarrassing moment of my life? I promise that if the universe ever gives me the opportunity to talk to my ‘soul mate’ again," putting soul mate in air quotes, "I will talk to him and not be a spaz. Does that sound like a deal? Because I personally think it sounds like a very good idea." If I can just get them to back off, then I can go back to my happy little, non-spaztastic life, and really, we all know that I'm never going to see Dex again.
"Boring!" says Gia through that phone.
"Fine, but remember you promised to talk to him. Oh, and if he were to ask you out, you have to go. If he doesn't ask, then you do. Live on the edge a little, " Ruby counters.
"I'm totally down with this version," Gia says with a tone that implies that she is probably doing that fingers-to-fingers hand gesture used by evil masterminds during the reveal of their evil mastermind plans.
"Ugh, fine, you guys are the worst.” I'm over this, and I will agree to whatever, just to make them leave me alone.
“Ok Gia, we are letting you go now, we have a dinner reservation in thirty minutes, and we need to get ready." Ruby snickers.
"Ok laters! Keep me updated...on everything!" she replies, and then Ruby and I say quick goodbyes just before the line goes dead.
***
Dinner was fantastic. We walked about five blocks from the hotel to a nice steak and sushi restaurant. I hate sushi but love steak, the complete opposite of Ruby, so it was the perfect place. I don't think I've ever had a better steak in my life. Not that I have had a lot of nice steak dinners, but either way, that was incredible. Per our agreement, Ruby didn't bring up Dex the whole night, thank God. So, it was just a great night with one of my best friends.
I am so incredibly lucky to have Ruby and Gia in my life. I couldn't ask for better best friends. I met them both at different times in my life, and I am beyond thrilled that they both get along with each other. The three of us are nearly inseparable.
Ruby and I met at work and really hit it off. She is the comic relief in my life. She’s super smart and hilarious. So, conversations with her are never boring. She always has something to say, and it’s usually entertaining. We became fast friends the minute she saw the picture of me standing next to a cardboard cutout of Edward Cullen in my cubicle. She struck up a conversation about why she will always and forever be a member of Team Jacob. A healthy debate on if Bella chose the right guy in Twilight is always a welcome conversation in my book. And that’s how it’s been since that first day. I don't have a lot of friends, or really a lot of people in my life, so she was a welcome addition.
Before my mom passed away, I was a social butterfly. I had an extremely full social calendar, and I couldn't have been happier. But when my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I started sticking around at home more often. My mom was more important than going to some dumb movie or wasting time at someone's house just to flirt with boys.
My friends were understanding at first, but after a few months of blowing them off for my mom, they stopped inviting me out. Honestly, I hated that my friends gave up on our friendships. It really hurt at first, but being with my mom was my primary focus. By that point, we knew she wasn't going to be able to beat the cancer, so my time with her was a top priority.
A couple of months before she passed, Gia moved to town, and being the sweet and attractive new girl, she had an opportunity to pick her place within the social hierarchy of high school. She could pick any friend she wanted, and to my surprise, she picked me. She sat down next to me at the library on her first day, introduced herself, and pretty much became my best friend within the week.
She didn't push me to spend time with her, she knew I needed to be home, but she came over at least once a week and got to know my mom. My mom loved Gia. It's like she knew that when the time came to leave me, Gia would take care of me. And she did. She stayed with me for a week after my mom passed. She was my rock, and she has been ever since.
When I tried to reemerge back into the social scene at school, it was brutal. I went to parties only because Gia was invited. I wasn't quite a social pariah even though it felt like it in the beginning. It was almost like I made my choice and it wasn't “them,” so that was my payback. I was left behind and forgotten about. But really, it was all right, I dealt with it. Even though it was lonely at times, I wouldn't have changed my decision to spend as much time with my mom.
In college, Gia and I purposefully didn't room together. We were consistently told that if you room with your best friend, then you wouldn't be best friends at the end of the year. We took that to heart, and I think it was for the best. We both had a chance to become adults on our own, but we still remained best friends. I never got super close with my roommate, Ashley, but she was my roommate for three years. Senior year, though, Gia and I decided we were past the "growing up stage of college" and moved off campus and got a small apartment together. After graduation, we decided to move to Chicago.
Shortly after the move, I met Ruby. While she is the complete opposite of Gia, she, like Gia, attached herself to me. I don't know what it is. I've stared at myself many, many times in the mirror trying to find out if I just look lonely, or if I look like I need a friend, but both Gia and Ruby say that there was just something about me that made them feel like they wanted to be my friend. I guess I should take that as a compliment. In truth, spending time away from real life with one of my best friends means a lot to me. I could be home on the couch reading a book or watching TV, instead of living.
Later that night, as I lie in bed trying to get some sleep before another long day ahead of us, I wonder; why do I get the feeling that I'm still not living? My mom's sickness and death shook my world apart. I let the shattered pieces fall where they landed and did very little to put them back together again. I embraced this way of life as my new normal, and it was now safe. So why do I feel like it's about to be shaken up again?
Chapter Seven
Mo
rgan
We've just had a fun, but busy morning. I have no idea how I'm going to get through another day of this craziness. I'm going to be wiped! We sit down for a late lunch and decide that we should relax and mosey through an exhibit of video game art throughout the years. Apparently, video game art is a big deal in the industry, and some are even highly sought after. I quickly notice, however, that the "making of" part of a video game gives you an inside look at how scenes or characters in a game are created. It's actually really kind of cool.
We get about half way through, and Ruby's cell rings. "Oh! It’s my brother. I'm going to take this. I'll be back, don't move!" she insists, as she rushes back the way we just came. She tried to call him last night to give him a rundown of the day, but he was unavailable and texted that he would call her as soon as he could.
Ruby and her brother are really close, and they'd been going to Comic-Con for the last five years. They switched between the San Diego and New York cons. As much as Ruby was excited to have me tag along, I know the fact that her brother bailed on her really upset her. The past six months had been a little straining on their relationship. He recently received a promotion at work, and that meant he was spending a lot more time on work things. He suddenly had little time for his sister.
While I wait for Ruby to come back, I focus in on a “making of” piece on a podium about the art that hangs on the wall above the display. Several other people are walking through the exhibit, so I don't notice at first when someone comes up behind me until I hear a familiar deep voice say, "Hi Morgan.”
I know that voice. I spin around so fast that I lose my balance and bump my hip into the free-standing podium. It immediately starts to wobble, and Dex quickly lunges forward to still it. He chuckles when he says, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."
