by Debby Mayne
Perhaps the accident had changed her, or maybe she was going through a phase. At any rate, she found herself thinking quite a bit more than usual. For the past eight years, she had been too busy to stop long enough to worry about anything beyond her next photo shoot or Armand’s whims.
Shannon picked out something to wear to church and then took a long, relaxing, lavender-scented bubble bath to relax. She needed to get some sleep, or she’d have dark circles to go with her scar.
Her normal nightly routine of flipping through the latest beauty magazines didn’t hold her interest, so she picked up her Bible study workbook and began reading ahead. She felt the Holy Spirit working in her heart after she finished the next chapter, and her eyelids fell shut. She awoke as the sun rose, and she felt more rested than she had in a very long time. A smile crept over her face as she remembered she’d see Judd in a few hours.
Janie picked her up at precisely nine thirty. “Anything I need to know before we get there?” Shannon asked as soon as she was safely buckled in her friend’s car.
With a shrug, Janie replied, “Only that Judd won’t be there this morning. He took some boys on a weekend camping trip, and he won’t be back until late tonight.”
Disappointment fell over Shannon, but she tried to hide her thoughts and feelings. “That’s not what I mean. Is there anything different about church that I need to prepare myself for?”
With a chuckle, Janie shook her head. “No, God’s pretty much the same as He was last time you were in church. We have a few songs that are different, and it’s a lot more casual, but the message hasn’t changed at all.”
Shannon finally got to meet Pastor Garrett Manning, a tall, middle-aged man with graying temples and a quick smile. His wife, LaRita, radiated a glow of warmth that drew people close to her. She spoke softly and with sincerity.
“It’s so nice to meet you, Shannon,” LaRita said as they shook hands. “Janie has said so many nice things about you.”
Pastor Manning came up from behind her. “Judd told us you’re thinking about staying in Atlanta.”
Shannon shrugged. “I’m not sure yet. It all depends … “
Her voice trailed off as she saw his gaze drop down and focus on her scar. Automatically, she reached up to touch it.
“Sorry to hear about the accident,” Pastor Manning said. “But you were very fortunate, according to what I hear.”
“Yes, I suppose I was.” What was with these people, noticing her scar and telling her how fortunate she was?
Janie took Shannon by the arm and tugged. “We need to go find a seat now. See ya later, Pastor. LaRita.”
Once they’d gotten away from the pastor and his wife, Janie leaned over and whispered, “You looked like a deer caught in headlights. I had to get you away from there.” She patted Shannon on the hand and smiled. “Take a couple deep breaths, sweetie. I don’t want to have to scrape you off the floor.”
The sermon dealt with compassion and reaching out to those who were less fortunate. Rather than talking about pitying the poor, Pastor Manning spoke of believers sharing their faith with the lost. His words gave Shannon plenty to think about later. She took notes in the margins of her church bulletin.
After the services, Shannon turned down an invitation to join Janie and some of the other singles who had plans to get together at a buffet restaurant. She wanted to get home so she could look up a few things in her Bible. Although it didn’t appear she’d have a modeling career anymore, so many years of watching every bite that went into her mouth had become habit and instilled guilt. That would take some time to change, if she ever did.
“I hope you don’t mind taking me home first,” Shannon said.
Janie shook her head. “Of course I don’t mind.”
“Did she ask about me?” Judd said when he called Janie right after he got home from the camping trip.
Janie laughed. “She didn’t have to. I told her where you were before we got to the church.”
“Did she sound disappointed?”
“Look, Judd, you’re a grown man. Why don’t you call her and find out for yourself?”
“I wanted to give her space.”
“Okay, so give her space. You’ll see her tomorrow night at the Bible study.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, “you’re right. It’s just that …”
“You really like her, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Good. I think she likes you, too. But go slowly. Shannon had a double whammy, between the scar and Armand dumping her.”
“I remember you telling me about that guy. What a jerk.”
“He’s not really a jerk,” Janie argued. “Armand is actually a very nice man. He’s just a little shallow and can’t see beyond the scars.”
“Janie, you and I both know we all have scars. I’m sure this Armand guy has plenty of his own.”
“Yeah, but he does a great job of covering them.”
“And Shannon can’t see that?” Judd asked.
“I think she does now. You still need to give her time.”
“I have all the time in the world.”
After they got off the phone, Judd thought about Shannon and how difficult it must have been to have someone she loved turn his back and run when she needed him most. That had to be the most painful part of the whole ordeal.
Judd had been accused of not allowing himself to get close to women, but he couldn’t help himself. Moving so often while growing up had done something to him. Getting close to people was scary, he admitted only to himself. However, he felt different around Shannon. She needed him more than he needed her, and he liked the feeling.
The only thing he wondered was how he’d handle a relationship if the opportunity ever did arise for him to get close to her. It wouldn’t be easy for either of them, considering their pasts.
He went over the lesson in the workbook and reread the Bible verses they were supposed to study. For the first time since he’d joined the group, he was prepared to participate without having to resort to clown tactics.
He held back the urge to call Shannon and offer her a ride to the Bible study. He knew it would be best if she went with Janie. He sensed that crowding her would cause her to turn and run from him, and that was the last thing he wanted now.
Paul was the only one at the church when Judd arrived half an hour early. “I see you’re eager this evening,” Paul chided. “Anything I need to know?”
“Not really,” Judd replied with as much nonchalance as he could muster.
With a look of understanding, Paul motioned for Judd to assist with arranging the chairs. “Janie’s bringing the food. Why don’t you get the coffee started?”
Paul had just left the room, and Judd was about to flip the switch on the coffeepot, when he heard the door open behind him. His hand stilled. He glanced over his shoulder in time to see Shannon and Janie enter the room.
As soon as she spotted him, her lips widened into a glimmering smile, making his heart thud with the anticipation of being near her for a couple of hours. He grinned back, feeling like a foolish adolescent.
“That coffee won’t make itself,” Janie said as she reached his side. “Ya gotta turn it on.”
People began filing into the room, so Judd was forced to broaden his attention. He was still aware of Shannon’s presence, something he suspected would always unnerve him.
Once everyone had arrived, they all sat down. Paul started the prayer. Suddenly, the sound of a car backfiring, then squealing tires on the pavement right outside the church filled the room. Judd turned to Shannon to make a wisecrack, but he stopped cold. Shannon’s face turned white. Her eyes widened as she jumped up and ran from the room. Judd stood to follow her, but Janie motioned for him to sit back down. “Don’t. I’ll handle this.”
The room grew very quiet as Janie jumped up and flew down the hall after Shannon. Judd’s throat constricted as he did what Janie ordered. His ears rang with the hush that fell over the group.
>
four
Shannon fell against the wall and squeezed her eyes shut. Her heart continued to hammer.
When would the fears go away? Or would they ever?
“Shannon?”
She blinked as she looked up and spotted Janie tentatively approaching, appearing almost afraid to get too close.
“Are you okay?”
Shannon opened her mouth, but no words came out.
“Of course you’re not okay. What was I thinking? Want me to take you home?”
Janie continued to step closer, her arms extended, and when she got within reach, she gently placed her arm around Shannon’s shoulder.
“You’re shaking. Why don’t we get you to a place where you can sit down, and I’ll pull the car to the door?”
Still numb with fear and shock, Shannon allowed herself to be led to a chair at the end of the long hallway. She sat erect, her hands folded in her lap, staring straight ahead. When Janie came back, she didn’t move.
Although she could see, she was numb. Her ears rang, and her mouth was dry.
“Shannon.” Janie tugged on her hand, but Shannon couldn’t move. Her legs felt like they were filled with lead. “Your hand’s icy cold. Let me see if someone can help us, okay? Wait here.”
The car’s backfire had long since passed, but the memory of the sharp sound echoed in Shannon’s head. The only thing she felt was a numbing fear as it held her in its clutches.
Judd held his breath as he paced and waited to hear how Shannon was. When Janie appeared at the door, he shot over toward her.
Crooking a finger, Janie motioned for Gretta, a woman Judd knew was a nurse in the local hospital emergency room. “I think she’s in shock. Can you come take a look at her?”
Now there was nothing that could hold Judd back. He might not know much about medicine, but he did know how he felt about Shannon.
When Janie looked at him, he tightened his jaw. She wouldn’t dare tell him he couldn’t go to Shannon. Janie didn’t say a word when he followed her and Gretta to where Shannon sat staring blankly ahead.
Judd stood back a few feet while Gretta checked Shannon’s vital signs. He closed his eyes and said a brief prayer for healing for her and guidance for himself. Shannon’s car crash had caused more trauma that he’d realized—and much more devastation than a scar on the face.
“How’s she doing?” Paul asked from behind. He kept his voice low, almost to a whisper.
Judd quickly turned around and took a step back so Shannon wouldn’t overhear. “I’m not sure yet. She looks pretty shaken.”
“I can imagine. What she went through was serious.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Janie took a step back and joined them. “I’ve never seen her like this, and I’ve known her since we were little.”
“Any idea what we can do?” Paul asked.
“Just be there for her. Let her know you care.”
“I do care,” Judd said.
Janie looked at him for a moment before turning back to her friend.
“Why don’t you stay close by and be there when she comes out of this trance?” Janie’s expression was one of concern and deep affection. Judd could tell hers and Shannon’s friendship was strong.
“I’ll do whatever it takes,” he replied.
He didn’t want to interfere. However, when Gretta turned and said she thought Shannon would be fine in a few minutes, he didn’t waste a single second. He was beside Shannon before anyone could stop him.
He took her hand in his and felt the clamminess. At least she didn’t pull away.
“Want me to take you home?” he asked.
Shannon blinked at him before slowly turning toward Janie, who tilted her head and held her hands out to her side.
“Your decision, Shannon,” she said. “I just want you to be comfortable.”
All eyes turned back to Shannon to see what she’d say. She finally nodded. She tried to stand on her own, but her wobbly legs gave out, and she fell back onto the chair.
“Put your arm around my neck, and I’ll walk you to my car,” Judd said softly, hoping to offer comfort to this broken woman. He stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. “Janie, would you mind running out to my car and pulling it closer to the exit?”
“Sure thing.”
Janie grabbed the keys and took off running. Judd positioned Shannon to make it easier for her to walk.
He loved the way her body felt next to his. Although she was still shaky, she was firm and athletic—nothing like a frail woman who nibbled rabbit food to keep her weight down.
As they hobbled down the hallway toward the exit, he inhaled the spicy fragrance from her hair whenever it brushed across his face. He wanted to lean over and bury his face in her hair, but he wouldn’t dare do anything so bold and presumptuous.
Once they got to the door, she stopped and shifted, pulling away a little. He hated that he had to let go of her in order to get the door.
Janie pulled up at the exact moment that they reached the edge of the sidewalk. “You sure you wanna do this?” Janie asked.
“Positive. Go on back inside and finish the Bible study. I’ll take her back to her place and make sure she’s okay before I leave.”
“Thanks, Judd.” Janie smiled at him in appreciation. “You’re a good guy. No, make that a great guy.” She leaned over and snapped Shannon’s seat belt into place, then slammed the car door shut.
Judd cringed at the harsh sound, until he glanced over and saw that it hadn’t fazed Shannon.
Once Judd was buckled in, he turned back to Shannon. He was surprised to see her staring at him, a half-smile on her lips.
“Feeling better?” he asked.
She nodded. “A little.”
He offered a few minutes of silence to let her recover and regroup. Her ordeal had taken its toll on her in a big way. Although he knew he couldn’t be beside her every minute of every day, he wanted to help her as much as possible right now.
“Wanna hear some music?” he asked. Maybe that would drown out outside noises and help her relax.
“Sure. That’s fine.”
Judd turned on the radio and pushed the button he had tuned to the contemporary Christian music station. The sounds of a heavy metal band blasted through the car.
Shannon flinched. He quickly hit the POWER button and silenced it.
“Sorry.”
She managed a weak smile. “You didn’t know. What kind of music is that?”
“Christian rock, believe it or not.”
“Amazing.”
When Judd pulled up to a stop sign, he took the opportunity to study her in the light of the streetlamp. Good. Her hands weren’t shaking anymore, and her eyes didn’t have that glazed look.
When they reached her apartment complex, he pulled into a parking spot and instructed her to stay put so he could walk her to her door. This time she was much steadier on her feet, but he didn’t let go, just in case.
She had the presence of mind to dig in her purse and have her key ready before getting out of the car. He stood, feeling rather awkward, while she unlocked her door. What should he do now? Leave her alone and risk something happening to her, or ask if he could come in?
Holding the door open, Shannon turned around and touched him on the arm.
“Would you like to come inside?”
“I, uh … “
“Please?” Her one simple plea turned him inside-out. “Are you sure?”
“I insist. Come on in, and I’ll fix you a cup of chamomile tea.”
“Okay, I’ll come in, but let me fix the tea. You lie down on the couch.”
Shannon snickered. “Such a caregiver. Not many guys are like that.”
“Well, I am a teacher, and I’m used to watching after children.”
The instant he said that, he knew it was a mistake. Her eyebrows shot up.
“I’m not a child,” she said firmly.
“No,” he said, trying to think o
f the best way to backpedal. “I didn’t mean it like it sounded. What I meant was …”
“No, don’t explain. I understand.”
“You do?”
“Yes. I’m always sticking my foot in my mouth, so I know how things can come out completely wrong.”
