"Where did you get that?" I asked.
"Our Palm Beach boutique," she replied. Our Palm Beach boutique?
Winston was at the door. "Ladies," he said, holding out his arms. Mommy moved quickly to his right, and they both looked to me. After a slight hesitation I took his left, and he escorted us to the limousine. I really felt silly.
"Where are we going tonight?" I asked. "Not Bermuda or something, are we?"
Winston laughed. "No. Just a place on the water. Twenty or so minutes' driving. No big surprises." Then he turned serious, "I know what it's like for you. Grace. To lose a young friend like this." he said, shaking his head.
"I was hoping we wouldn't talk about it." Mommy interjected.
"No, no," Winston said. "We can't run from our disappointments and hide. We must find ways to grow stronger because of them instead."
I liked that. I liked that he was confident enough in himself to do what he wanted, what he thought he should, even if it displeased someone he wanted to please very much.
"When I was in college I lost my best friend in a similar way, automobile accident. He and I were runners."
"Runners?" Mommy asked.
"Yes, you know, track and field. I happen to have been a four-letter man. too. I was on the school's championship relay team. and I came in second at the all-state conference in the three-thousand-meter steeple-chase. I looked like a gazelle in those days, all legs. lanky. My mother used to say I was so thin she could see my breakfast."
I laughed.
"Anyway, my roommate. Paul Thoreau, was a runner. too. He was actually the fastest in the twohundred-meter and might have gone on to be in the Olympics. You couldn't meet a nicer guy, sensitive, considerate, very family oriented, and religious. In all the time I knew him I never heard him say a bad thing about anyone else. He would say nothing rather than do that, and he rarely cursed. We used to make fun of him for that." he said, remembering with a smile. ''He would say things like 'Holy cow!' or 'Jeepers!' He was killed on his way back to college. A drunken truck driver hit him head-on. He never had a chance. The truck just veered into his lane.
"I like to think he's running in heaven, winning trophies. Anyway. I wanted to quit the team, give up running myself afterward, and my coach... I'll never forget him. Rolly Allen, pulled me aside and said. 'Don't you know. Paul will be running alongside you for the rest of your life, Winston. You can't outrun him.'
"I smiled at that, and you won't believe this. but I ran my best race soon afterward, and when I stepped off the track Mr. Allen was there. and I said. 'You were right. He was with me step for step.'
"If you're close with someone. Grace, you take them with you forever. Just think of that. It won't stop the pain and the sadness completely, but you can go on and run your races and do your work, and after all that's what is most important."
I didn't realize I was crying until he leaned forward with his handkerchief and wiped the tears from my cheeks. Then he touched my hand. and I seized his. We held on to each other for a long moment. I saw Mommy watching, a smile on her face, and then I sat back and listened to them talk about an upcoming charity event Winston insisted we attend with him.
.
Life was meant to ad on, and go on it would at an even faster pace than before. Mommy returned to work at the restaurant, but as the weeks and months went by it soon became more and more of a part-time job. Every time Winston had a place to take her or take us both, she would call Dallas and get off that evening. Of course, I wondered how she could be buying all the new clothes, the new shoes, and the jewelry for herself and me as well, and then one morning she revealed that Winston paid our bill at the boutique.
"How could you let him do that?" I asked. astounded.
"It was his idea from the start. Grace. I didn't know anyone in Palm Beach and certainly didn't know my way around boutiques and beauty salons."
"You mean he even arranged for that, your hairdo?"
"It's something he enjoys doing. It means nothing to him financially. and..."
"But that's like.., like taking advantage of someone," I blurted.
"Hardly," she said. "I can't imagine anyone taking advantage of Winston Montgomery. It's probably the other way around." She sounded almost critical. By now I had come to like Winston very much. I didn't see how he could be nasty to anyone. "I didn't ask him to buy these things for us. Grace. He offered."
"But..."
No buts about it He's on top of the world, and if he wants to rain down some of that gold upon us. I'm not going to throw up any umbrellas. I told you. I'm tired of being the victim, the suffering casualty of an unforgiving, relentless, and cruel fate. We'll beat it back until it leaves us alone and goes looking for weaker prey.
"Besides," she continued. "Winston wants me to go with him to the finest places, fly us places, take us to extravagant charity events. I told him we couldn't go because we didn't have the wardrobe for all that, and he said he wouldn't permit us to miss anything because of something so trivial as clothing and shoes. Those were his words. I told him we couldn't accept any charity, especially for expensive things we wouldn't use much, and he said we would be doing him a favor. He likes us. Grace!" she cried. throwing up her hands. "How can we be blamed for that?"
She waited for my response. I didn't know what to say. Winston never made me feel like a charity case or as if he was doing us any favors. Mommy was right. He was the one who always acted grateful and looked sad if we were even a bit unhappy or if there was any possibility we wouldn't accompany him to something. His favorite expression was "You two make me look good."
"I just... feel funny about it." I said.
"Well don't," she insisted. "If he doesn't want to do it. Winston Montgomery will tell us. He is not a man who does anything he doesn't want to do."
Was Mommy falling in love with him or just admiring him and enjoying his company? I wondered, Sometimes she sounded as if she thought he was so wonderful, and sometimes she sounded as if he was just someone she was occupying herself with until something better or more important came along. I guessed the biggest danger to being rich was being used, taken advantage of, but if you didn't mind, if what you received in return was satisfying, what difference did it make? Especially for someone as wealthy as Winston Montgomery.
"Okay," I said. I wasn't going to argue or make Mommy feel bad about anything.
The list of events Winston wanted us to attend seemed to grow longer with every passing week. Most of the time I was unable to attend. I had to study for an exam or complete a major homework assignment. I became accustomed to preparing dinner for myself. Mommy was always suggesting I invite a friend over to eat with me, but after the tragic accident and Randy's death I retreated to my own corner of the world. Time seemed to have little meaning. One week was like the next.
I was friendly with other students, talked about school and homework. but I resisted every invitation to every party. Two boys asked me out. but I made up so many excuses they soon gave up. Despite the lectures Mommy gave me I couldn't get over the dreaded feeling that somehow, some way, I brought others bad luck.
When Phoebe finally returned to school she was treated like some sort of heroine. Expensive cosmetic surgery had corrected almost all of her scars. What few could be seen were treated as if they were badges of honor. She had survived, but the accident and the ordeal that followed didn't change who she was inside. If anything, it reinforced her arrogance and her conceit. Now she was even more of a center of attention.
The one thing that did change was her focus on me. I stayed away from her, and she finally decided to really ignore me. Perhaps I was a constant reminder of Randy and his death, and she wanted to avoid that more than anything. Ironically I thought that was Randy's gift to me. He wanted Phoebe off my back, and he got her off. Only the price was far too high. I hated her for that. but I didn't dwell on it.
Winston became more of a confidant for me than Mommy was during those weeks. She had reached a place where she
did not want to think about, hear about, or discuss anything unpleasant or sad.
"You permit one teardrop to slip under your door, and a flood of sadness comes pouring your way," she told me. "Think of only happy things, fun things, beautiful things.'
She even stopped watching her favorite soap opera because it had too many sad events occurring in it She would rather watch mindless sitcoms if she watched any television at all. Most of the time she was too busy planning her wardrobe or working an her appearance.
She turned her attention to fashion magazines, read the Palm Beach newspaper and magazine religiously to the point where she knew all the social gossip. Winston was at first amused by that and then occasionally looked at me with a troubling eye.
"Oh. Jackie," he said once after she was rattling off what this heiress had done and that trust baby had bought. "you don't want to dote on those people. And you certainly don't want to be anything like they are. Why, when they die, their souls will just go up in a puff of smoke." He and I laughed. but Mommy looked upset.
Later she told me. "Winston might make fun of those people with us, but believe me, they are the citizens of his country, and he pays more than just lip service to them."
I wanted to argue about that. but I didn't. Let it go, I thought, all this will soon end, and who knows maybewe'll move. That was something we were accustomed to doing anyway. I would certainly not put up any fight if she suggested that. Winter slipped almost unnoticed into spring, and very often in the spring talk of our leaving for another base, another community. began.
However, what was to be now was quite the contrary, even though for a short time it looked as if it was not to be. One night in late May Mommy came home unusually early from a charity ball in Palm Beach. I was studying for my final in social studies. and I was still at my desk reviewing notes when I heard the front door open and then slam shut with such force the condo shook.
"Mommy?" I called from my door.
She went into her room without responding. I couldn't imagine what was happening, but I was so used to the sound of one shoe dropping I was trembling in anticipation of the next. I went to her room and peered in. She was throwing her jewelry and her clothes off in a fury.
"What is it? Why are you back so soon?" I asked. I didn't think she would respond, but suddenly she stopped undressing and turned to me.
"I don't mind a man who gets jealous and upset when you spend too much time with another man or other men. That I actually expect and enjoy. But a man who criticizes me far spending too much time with other women and agreeing to go to their lunches at the finer clubs is... is... infuriating!" she cried, and looked as if she would pull out her own hair.
"Maybe he just wants you to stay away from women he knows are not really nice," I offered.
"Why is it that all the men I've met in my life think they know everything, even what's best for me more than I do? Can't I tell who is and who isn't nice, who is and who isn't sincere? Do I have to depend on them for that?"
This was the first hint I had ever gotten that there was even an iota of dissatisfaction with Daddy. Unless, of course, she didn't include him.
"Daddy wasn't like that, was he?"
"Wasn't? Your father was a naval officer. Grace. He was in command. That wasn't something easily left outside the door when he came home to me."
She saw the expression on my face and relaxed. "It wasn't unpleasant. We didn't fight over things like most husbands and wives fight, but men in general feel superior. Don't you see that for yourself?"
I wanted to say no. but I was afraid.
"Most of the power in this world is in the hands of men, not women. Grace. They decide the important things, and every time a woman tries to take a piece of that away from them they cry that she's not a woman or she's too ambitious. The truth is, they're afraid of us, afraid we're smarter and we will take over everything," she said. nodding. She flopped onto the chair by the vanity table.
"So you had a bad fight with Winston?"
"No, not a bad fight. I just told him to take me home immediately. That put some hesitation in his steps. I told him if he had anything critical to say to me about me he should do it in total private and he should think ten times before saying it then. He got the point." she said.
She thought a moment. "If the phone rings, answer it and say I'm asleep or I'm in the bathroom if it's Winston."
"Okay," I said. retreating.
She was psychic. The phone rang an hour later, and it was Winston. I told him she was asleep.
"Oh. Well, tell her I'll call her tomorrow. How are you doing. Grace?"
"Studying for finals."'
"That time already, huh? Time just flies. Before you know it, you'll be as old as me," he said with a light laugh. "Enjoy your youth while you have it."
"You're not so old. Winston," I said.
He liked that. "I hope I'll see you soon," he said. I felt sorry for him after we hung up.
Mommy came to her door. "Was that
Winston?"
"Yes. I told him you were asleep."
"What did he say?"
He said to tell you hell call you tomorrow."
"I won't be home," she said. "Not until I feel like it."
She closed her door and then opened it quickly and looked out at me. "You'd better pay attention to this. Grace. Men have to be trained just like... like pets. We're always at a disadvantage, so we have to use everything we have, every emotion, every gesture, every word we say. And especially sex," she added.
"Don't look so shocked. It's just another weapon in the arsenal. Women who don't take advantage of it will be taken advantage of. There are enough examples of that out there. Don't become another." She closed her door again.
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I was too shocked to do either. And my social studies notes provided no answers and no relief.
Winston might have called while I was in school. If he did. Mommy was true to her word and did not answer the phone. When I came home. however. I was greeted by the pungent aroma of roses, and when I looked in the kitchen I was nailed to the floor by the sight of what was there: not just two or three dozen roses but at least twenty dozen. The whole kitchen was covered, every available counter space, the table, the chairs, and some of the floor.
"Now this," Mommy said proudly, her hands on her hips as she nodded at the flood of roses. "is what I would call a decent apology."
I was soon to find out that it wasn't just an apology. It was groundwork for a marriage proposal.
.
It came two days later. Mommy had relented and gone out to dinner with Winston the night the roses arrived. She didn't return until very late, well after I had gone to sleep. I vaguely heard her come in. The following morning, she wasn't up to have breakfast with me as usual. I peeked in and saw she was dead asleep. Her dress wasn't even hung up. I did that on tiptoe for her, and then I went to school.
When I returned she was in a wonderful up mood. She was leaving shortly for work, but I had never seen her as happy about it.
"I prepared one of your favorite dinners for you, Grace. shrimp Parmesan. It's all in the dish in the fridge. You just have to heat it up. I'll be home late." she added. "so don't worry."
"Where are you going?"
"Someplace," she sang, laughed, and left.
Once again she didn't come home until long after I had gone to bed, but this time, when I woke in the morning, she was up as well, although still in her bed. She called to me when I went out to the kitchen.
She was sitting up, a smile on her lips, her blue eyes gleaming. "Good morning," I said. "Where were you last night?"
"I was in a chariot." she said. laughing. "Made of gold and sparkling with diamonds. If you had looked out, you would have seen me crossing the night sky."
"What?" I held my confused smile,
"I have a surprise far you." she said, and extended her hand. At first I actually didn't see it. Maybe I didn't want to see it. She was obviously w
aiting for some big reaction on my part, but I just stared.
"What?" I said.
"Look, silly!" she cried, and held up her hand. Now, in the morning light, the large diamond twinkled so brightly even a blind person would see it I stepped closer.
"What is it?" I asked. full knowing what it was.
"This is an engagement ring," she said. "He had it especially designed for me. It is a six-carat clear marquis. With the work that went into it, the quality, the color." she continued, turning her hand every which way to look at her ring, "it wouldn't surprise me to know this is worth a quarter of a million dollars."
"You're engaged to Winston?"
"Yes. Sit and let me tell you all about it." she said.
I backed away. "I've got to get to school."
"Forget school for a moment."
"I can't do that. I have a math final today."
"Well, you have time. I'll call you a cab and get you there faster," she added with annoyance. "This is important, Grace. C'mon." she urged. "Stop wrinkling your forehead and sit.'
I did as she asked. A laud humming started at the base of my stomach and moved up to my chest. It was so loud I almost didn't hear her begin.
"From the first moment I met Winston I had the sense that he was sent to us."
"Sent to us? By wham?"
"By our good angel, of course. I could see it in the way he looked at me, spoke to me, smiled at me from across the restaurant. I knew who he was beforehand. Dallas had filled me in. She was doing that from the moment I arrived, 'It's not that I don't think a woman and her teenage daughter can't make it alone in this world.' she said. 'but why try?"'
Mommy laughed. "Dallas was always like that, looking for the easier way out. I never blamed her, now especially. Anyway. I didn't really expect anything would come of my conversations with Winston, but he was obviously determined to get to know me. and I let him." she said.
DeBeers 04 Into the Woods Page 22
