“And yet I think Charlotte is determined enough to go through with the thing.”
“If this dull man will have her.” Hector shrugged.
“As dull as he is, I cannot think him either blind or stupid. What man in his right mind would avoid the attention of such a beautiful woman as Charlotte? Especially when he is unlikely to have received very much feminine attention in the past.”
“You are perhaps filling in the gaps with your own version of things, my friend.”
“But I cannot afford to be complacent. I cannot afford to assume that she will not marry Marcus Hillington, that he will not have her. I have to work from the assumption that, if I do nothing, the dreadful thing will go ahead.”
“Then we are back to the beginning, James. We are back to the clever maid’s assertion that you must, if you wish to have the beautiful Charlotte, tell the absolute truth.”
“But there is more to think about. There are more people to consider than simply Charlotte.” He said, thinking of her father and the wise, pretty Ruth Clarkin.
Could he really turn their worlds upside down simply to secure his own happiness? But if he did not, could he live with such sadness? Why was it that every choice seemed to end in pain without a hint of an assured happiness either way?
“How trustworthy is this little maid?” Hector said and changed the direction of the conversation somehow.
“I think she is Charlotte’s only true confident.”
“Well, Charlotte is a very good judge of character, it has to be said, so if she is prepared to tell her own secrets to this maid and nobody else, then I think it is a fair assumption that Miss Clarkin can be trusted.”
“So? What of it?”
“It seems to me that Miss Clarkin has been able to give you more information about Charlotte than anybody else could have, possibly even dear old Lucas himself. So, who better to secretly tell the truth to, do you not think?”
“You mean I should tell Miss Clarkin the secret that I have been holding onto for three years?”
“Yes.”
“But why?”
“Because it seems that she knows my cousin better than anybody and she is the only person on earthwho will have an idea how Charlotte would react to it if she heard it herself. Do you not think that Miss Clarkin could tell you definitively whether you should tell the truth to her mistress or simply leave things as they are?”
“Yes, I suppose there is something in what you say.” James said, thinking that it would be a very fine idea indeed if Miss Clarkin herself was not about to be upended by the truth.
And yet, did he really have a choice? Ruth Clarkin was already upset by the idea that her mistress would determine to make her own life unhappy. Could he justify the whole thing on those grounds? Could he upset Ruth like that in the hope that everything really would work out in the end?
“I think you should try it.” Hector said firmly.
“I am beginning to think that I do not have a choice.” James said and stared off across the immaculately trimmed lawns of Sanford Hall.
James set off early the next morning, safe in the knowledge that Hector would still be comfortably snoring in his bed by the time he returned. But he also knew the workings of a house, even a little manor house such as Hawthorn, and he knew that the servants would now be awake whilst the rest of the house remained asleep.
If he was to have any hope of speaking to Ruth Clarkin privately again, it would only be under such circumstances. And he knew that he only had one opportunity of it, for he did not want to raise suspicion amongst the other servants should they see him making his approach.
No, attending Hawthorn Manor in such a secretive way would be something that James could only do once. He would have to make it count.
The grounds of Hawthorn Manor were not particularly big, although he was able to tether his horse out of sight on its very edges. He walked through the trees in the hopes that nobody looked down on him from a window above, for he could not risk discovery.
He took things slowly, stopping here and there to catch his breath behind one of the thick hawthorns for which the house had undoubtedly taken its name. The gardens were rather rambling, and he was pleased that there was much by way of establishedshrubbery and foliage behind which he could take cover.
He made his way to the rear of the house, hoping to see the servants’ entrance. Secreted behind yet another hawthorn, James was pleased to see that the door was open.
Perhaps he could get a little closer and peer inside in the hopes of catching a glimpse of Ruth Clarkin. After all, Hawthorn Manor was not a large house and he doubted that the servants were plentiful.
Of course, the closer he got to the house, the more he risked discovery and either having to explain himself or ask for Ruth Clarkin by name, only for her mistress to hear of it later from a nosy servant of the Hawthorn household.
As he stood in an agony of indecision, however, his thoughtfulness and patience were rewarded when Ruth Clarkin herself walked out of the servants’ door and across the little courtyard. She was holding a teacup without a saucer and he watched as she settled herself down on a low retaining wall to enjoy a little solitude.
It was now or never; if he approached that young woman, it could only be to tell her everything. James felt his stomach lurch at the idea of it; the finality of it all.
When he finally started moving in her direction, he could hardly believe it. He was sure that he had not made that determination, and it was as if he was nothing more than a puppet and somebody far above him was pulling his strings, making him walk.
And he had barely finished that thought when he realized that he was out in the open and Ruth Clarkin was staring at him open-mouthed.
“Your Grace?” She said in a loud whisper, her eyebrows arched high as she tentatively rose to her feet.
“Forgive me for coming upon you so early, my dear woman, but it is imperative that I speak with you. I wanted to see you before the rest of the household was up, I hope you do not mind.” He said and turned to look back towards the cover of the thick hawthorns in hopes that she would follow him that way.
Without a word, that clever young woman walked smartly from the courtyard, across the lawn, and into the cover of the thick foliage. She was still carrying her teacup and she looked at it doubtfully when she remembered its presence.
“I am sorry, Your Grace. I really had not expected to see you here.”
“You have nothing to apologize for, Miss Clarkin. In fact, I rather think that I do. Or at least I will, in the end.”
“I am afraid I do not understand.” Ruth said and tipped her head to one side, her bright blue eyes studying his face intently.
“You were right yesterday when you said that I had a truth to tell, that there was something more to it all than simply my father’s interference. You perceived that there is a greater secret behind my disappearance from Miss Cunningham’s life.”
“I would not wish to force you into something, Your Grace, but I cannot see a way around it. All I care about is my mistress’happiness, for she is so dear to me. If there is anything that you can do to stop her running head-first into disaster, I would be eternally grateful to you, whatever it is that you have to say.”
“Even if that very thing concerns you yourself, Miss Clarkin? Even if what I say in the next few moments might take your very vision of your own world and tear it asunder in front of you?”
“But what has it to do with me?” Ruth said and looked a little afraid.
“Forgive me, I cannot.” James said and turned to leave.
“Your Grace, please wait,” Ruth said, and he turned to see that she had begun to follow him. “As I said to you before, whatever it is you have to say, I shall be grateful to you for saying it.” She nodded vigorously, bravely even, and he knew the moment had come.
“Miss Clarkin, if I continue with this, please know that it very likely affects you more than anybody.”
“I see.” She said
continued to nod.
“You permit me to continue?”
“Yes, Your Grace.” She said in such a quiet voice she almost sounded like a child.
Could he really do this? The woman looked at him with a mixture of fear and curiosity, so much so that he knew she would never settle anyway, even if he did not tell her everything he had to say. He had, perhaps, stepped over the point of no return.
“Miss Clarkin, when my father discovered of my courtship of Miss Cunningham, he was absolutely furious. unknown to me, he set his attorney, a vile man, to unearth whatever little scandal he could that would see to it I could not marry your mistress.”
“Oh dear.” Ruth said, and he almost laughed; she sounded suddenly so openly disparaging of the old Duke that he thought he saw her true mettle then and he rather wondered ifwere his father alive and standing before them now, Ruth Clarkin might very well tear strips off him for what he had done.
“And I am afraid that he was able to find something that your mistress was not aware of. Something that, if she discovered it, might disrupt the friendship she has with her father irreparably. And he is such a nice man, is he not?”
“The Baron is a very fine man, Sir.” Ruth said, and her eyes began to fill with tears before she even knew what hurt might be done to him.
“Worse still, my father threatened to have this piece of gossip spread everywhere so that everybody in society might know of it, thereby hurting not only Charlotte and her father but you also.”
“Me?” Ruth said and nodded as if to hurry him along.
“In the end, Miss Clarkin, my father’s attorney found his greatest source of information in a little town called Hollerton.” He said and saw how her eyes widened at the recognition of her hometown. “With your very own family, I am afraid.”
“Oh goodness, what have they done?” Ruth said, and the warmth seemed to disappear from her altogether.
“They told my father’s attorney something about you, my dear Miss Clarkin, which you might find extraordinarily painful.” James said and wondered how on earth he was going to continue.
“That I am not their child?” Ruth said simply.
“Yes,” James said and shook his head wildly from side to side. “But how did you know it? I mean, have you known it all along?”
“I did not know for certain, Your Grace, until this moment.”
“So, your mother and father, well, the Clarkins, they did not tell you?”
“It was not something I needed to be told, Your Grace. I felt it all along. They had no love for me and I certainly had no love for them. And that is not a natural, Sir. We are so different, not just in terms of appearances, but I am bound to say in intellect too. I never did fit with them, you see, and I could sense their relief when the Baron came to offer me a job.”
“And can you possibly see now why it was that the Baron might have come to specifically offer you a job, Miss Clarkin?” James said and felt rather cowardly as he hoped to lead Ruth to the discovery without him actually having to say it.
“Yes, I can.” She said, and her face softened considerably. “I always felt so very comfortable, from the very moment I arrived at Thurlow Manor. His Lordship was always so kind and I had often wondered why it was that he chose to give me so fine a job when I had never worked a day as a maid in my life. But I was glad of it and I did not question it.”
“So, you had wondered?”
“I think sometimes we wonder without realizing it, Your Grace. I have never consciously considered my origins, but I suppose we know things that we do not realizewe know. I do not know if that makes sense at all, but I am bound to say that Miss Cunningham has always felt like a sister to me. We have been close from the very first and I have never been anything other than confident in our friendship and her regard of me.”
“You have taken this awfully well, my dear,” James said and reached out to lay a tentative hand on her shoulder. “I do hope I have not turned your world inside out.”
“You have done nothing of the sort, Your Grace. Although I do have one question, if I may?”
“Of course.”
“My mother?” She raised her eyebrows, her question clear.
“I am afraid that I do not know. As far as I can tell she was a member of your father’s household staff at the time, but I cannot say in what capacity. I truly am sorry.”
“I daresay there is time enough for me to discover it.” She said with a pleasant smile.
“I suppose I ought to leave in a moment, before the rest of the household is awake and your mistress… sister… is looking for you.” He said, feeling suddenly awkward about the young woman’s confusing status.
“And you want to know if I think you should tell her?” She said, looking at him knowingly.
“Yes, yes please.”
“In the end, I think the news will affect Miss Cunningham much more than it has myself, despite your misgivings. But her father is a good man and I think that he would put her future happiness before the keeping of any secret. It will be painful, and there will be much to come of it, but I truly believe that it is the right thing to do.”
“Then I shall do it. I shall seek her out and beg her to listen. But where? What am I to do? After all, it is not something that I can discuss with her in Lady Elton’s drawing room over a game of bridge, is it?” He laughed and was pleased to see that Ruth was also amused.
“Leave it with me, Your Grace. I shall find a way to have the two of you meet in private and in a place where my mistress can come to terms with her emotions without fear of being discovered. I shall write to you, Sir, when I have come up with something.” She looked over her shoulder then and he knew it was time to depart.
“Miss Clarkin, I cannot thank you enough.”
“And I cannot thank you enough, Your Grace. It is not every day that a person has a deep-seated feeling suddenly explained.” And with that, she was gone.
Chapter 30
“What about this pale green gown, miss? I always think it suits you very well. It goes so nicely with your hair and your skin and it fits so well.” Ruth said excitedly.
“But I am going nowhere today, Ruth. I hardly think I need to put so much effort into my appearance on a day when I am to do nothing more than wonder about the house, read, and sew.” Charlotte laughed. “Not that I am not, as always, appreciative of your care of me.”
“Not at all, Miss.” Ruth said and her cheeks were suddenly pink.
Charlotte had noted a change in Ruth in the last couple of days. She had seemed in onemoment excitable and the next distracted and Charlotte could not hazard a guess at the cause. After all, Ruth was the most sensible, level-headed person that Charlotte knew.
“Ruth, is everything alright, my dear? You seem a little out of sorts.”
“Not at all, Miss. I feel very well indeed, as a matter of fact. Very healthy and content.”
“If there was something wrong, Ruth, you would tell me, would you not?” Charlotte had a feeling that there really was something to tell.
She hoped with all her heart that Ruth really would tell her if something was troubling her and not simply suffer in silence. After all, they were the closest of friends and Charlotte had always known that she could tell Ruth anything. But what if Ruth did not feel the same way? What if Ruth had never been able to trust her mistress with the secrets of her own heart?
Charlotte had always assumed that there was nothing for Ruth to tell, but perhaps that was not the case after all.
“Of course, I would tell you, Miss. If something was wrong, if something was upsetting me, you would be the very first person that I would come to with it. In truth, you would be the only person.” Ruth seemed to calm down suddenly, appearing very much like her old self again, and Charlotte felt relieved.
“Well, I am glad to hear it. But if there is something you think I should know, do not forget that we have the house to ourselves today. When my Aunt Gwendolyn goes out after breakfast, we shall be left to our
own devices until this evening. We could have a wonderful walk, could we not? And then you and I could take tea in the drawing room. What do you think to that?” Charlotte said, relishing the prospect of sitting down with her friend in the main part of the house without any of the constraints that existed between master and servant.
“I think that sounds like a very fine idea.” Ruth said and lifted down the green gown from the rail.
A Damsel for the Daring Duke: A Historical Regency Romance Book Page 24
