“How do we even know if we're headed in the right direction?” Christy mused.
“Larry's watch has a compass on it,” Lando explained. “Between that and the starlight, I've been able to stay on a basic route. It's just a matter of locating the North Star and the Big Dipper.”
“Very impressive for a city boy,” Christy marveled.
Lando tossed her a calculating look. “Some people can be very helpful while looking down the barrel of a silencer.” Christy's eyes widened, feeling unnerved.
Lando began walking, but she could hear his soft chuckle. She guessed he sensed her indecision. Christy looked longingly back at the still warm cave, missing the safety it offered already, then turned and followed Lando's retreating form.
They trudged on for hours at a steady pace, following the stream down river. Many of the large trees were coniferous, their branches bulky, which made seeing past the next tree or large pile of rocks difficult.
Christy was fearful as they rounded each bend. She was apprehensive of running into another Kodiak. She climbed over one fairly large mound of dead leaves, moss, and small broken limbs carefully. She scrambled quickly after Lando, who moved with ease, his longer legs a definite boon, until Christy's stumbling began to increase. To her credit she never lagged or complained. She was completely exhausted before long and afraid she would soon be unable to continue.
Lando stopped by the stream and dropped the duffel bag. Gratefully, Christy slumped upon a large rock. After Lando had a quick fire going, he once more moved off to the stream to fish.
“You stay where I can see you,” Lando warned sternly before he left.
At one time Christy would have been concerned at the fierce look he leveled on her. Now she had come to the conclusion it was just his way. She supposed she should have been annoyed; after all, she wasn't a child of three. Yet, she sensed his concern. It was dangerous out here. She couldn't rebuff his want to protect her.
Though she had originally promised to obey him, it was not the only reason she preferred to do as he commanded. Christy had felt certain something had been trailing after them in the bush. The hair on the back of her neck seemed to stay in a raised position. She had followed closely after Lando, not letting his comforting, big form get more than a few feet away.
The day warmed and the sun shone down brightly through the trees. An eagle soared overhead. The stream bubbled quietly, and a fish jumped. Christy sat complacently, warming her hands at the fire. Lando had removed his outer jacket, having become sweaty during their walk, and it lay a foot away from her. Picking it up, she studied it thoughtfully, noticing a small tear. It had been Sam's jacket, and she remembered when he had torn it on the branch of a tree while they had been out taking pictures. She had offered to fix it for him, yet hadn't gotten the chance.
Eager to keep her hands occupied, Christy rifled through the duffel bag and came across her camera case. She fingered it lovingly for a brief moment, wondering if she would ever again take another picture. She allowed herself a brief moment of sadness before opening the case and removing her small sewing kit. She was just finishing her last stitch when Lando returned.
He had already gutted the fish he had caught, and proceeded to set it up over the fire. Christy looked at the fish longingly. She had quickly gotten over her squeamishness that sometimes Lando never bothered to scale it, while also leaving the head and tail still attached.
“Very nice,” Lando commented on her work as he once more donned his jacket.
“Thank you. I had a very nice nanny who taught me to sew,” Christy commented, a touch primly. She remembered the sweet little puppets they had made for a puppet show. Her mother had been proud of her painstaking work. Though on reflecting back, she realized the nanny had been more out of prestige than need. It had been her father who had insisted they have one. Her mother had wanted to keep Christy close to her own side.
Lando snorted softly.
“What is that suppose to mean?” Christy demanded, annoyed.
“You are a prissy little pampered, fluffy kitten aren't you? Did she serve tea and crumpets to you and your mountain of dollies and cuddly stuffed animals?” Lando teased, his eyes alight with amusement.
“So what if she did,” she said, bristling with annoyance. She could feel a slow blush creep over her face.
Christy jumped, startled, as Lando suddenly roared with laughter. It had been the first time she had ever heard him laugh. She watched with wide-eyed amazement as he continued to howl, tears rolling down from his eyes. His laughter faltered as his arms flailed and, losing his balance, he fell backwards off the log he had been sitting on.
“Well now, that was rather rude,” Christy said angrily. She leaned back, shaking her head, watching him lay motionless for a moment, feet straight up.
Lando struggled, awkwardly righting himself, then sat up still laughing, swiping at his eyes. “I thought it was rather funny,” he said, mimicking her haughty tone.
“Just because I had tea parties with a nanny isn't something that should send you into hysterics,” Christy answered. Impishly, she crossed her arms over her chest.
“You and I, sweetheart, are worlds apart,” Lando informed her. He was smiling with open amusement at her discomposure.
“More like galaxies,” she rebuffed haughtily. Then noted Lando had stopped smiling as his eyes began to narrow.
“You think you're better than me because you have money,” Lando said tightly.
“I don't think I am better, just different,” she replied, now wary.
“Would you be surprised to learn I have money? In fact, I have a great deal of money,” Lando informed her.
She could sense his anger was growing. Feeling apprehensive, though resigned, Christy muttered, “Blood money. You got rich off of the suffering of others.”
“Yes, I did. How many people do you think get rich off the suffering of others? A great many more do it legally. How many helpless people might actually take their lives when everything is taken legally? How many innocents snap because of the pain another has caused them? Harassing phone calls people want to hide from, demanding money they don't have or they wouldn't be in the predicament they are in. Vicious, mean people, who don't know you. All they want is the almighty dollar, a fast buck. At least I have the guts to do it face to face. Not through litigation, and the people I have faced are anything but innocent or in need of a break, or a small amount of compassion,” Lando replied.
“The man who taught you about the stars, did you kill him?” Christy asked quietly.
Lando checked on the fish, remaining quiet. Christy knew he was a killer. He had never denied it. But she was struggling to understand why anyone would purposely choose such a vicious profession.
He began slowly, and she sensed his hesitation. “I can't begin to describe to you about the people I know. Men who haven't a shred of decency, an ounce of compassion or mercy. Cruel, evil men. Men with relentless, steely determination, who could move mountains if they so desired, instead would kill a helpless, frightened woman and her three-week-old baby girl.” Lando's words trailed off slowly, bitterly.
“Is that what happened? Did you know them, were they close to you?” Christy asked, wide-eyed. She wondered at what kind of tragedy would make him cause the wrath of such soulless, brutal men on purpose.
“I had been ordered to kill them and a nine-year-old boy,” Lando told her.
“Why would they think you would do such a thing? Have you, Lando? Have you murdered women and children?” Christy couldn't stop her body from trembling; her eyes began to overflow with her tears. He was speaking of them in past tense. My God, a baby, a three-week-old baby? A sudden feeling of gripping terror possessed her and she resisted the urge to flee from him.
Lando crouched, before her taking her hands in his; she recoiled from him, yanking her hands away to pull them tightly to her chest. “I have never in my life killed anyone who I felt was completely defenseless,” he informed her.
Sighing, Lando sat back on the log. She avoided his look, as though to cast her gaze upon him would pollute her. He averted his own eyes while once again checking the fish. He removed it and set it aside to cool.
“You were in pain. I hated seeing you suffer. When you followed me I felt a great relief knowing I would not have to harm you. You told me your father was a doctor. Did he never once see someone in such agonizing pain he wanted to end their suffering?”
“He did. He helped them, he gave them medicine,” Christy raged at him, her eyes snapping a vile, heated look, feeling furious anger. “Don't you ever compare yourself to such a wonderful, caring man. Every day of his life he sought to ease people's suffering. He took great pains to save them. He told me on numerous occasions life is a gift.”
“What medicine could I give you except a few pain pills? We had flown way off course. The elements would have caused you a slow, lingering death. What would you have done if you had been confronted by the Kodiak all alone? Can you imagine the suffering he would have caused you while he ripped into your body, perhaps feeding on you while you still lived? What kind of gift would that have been? I at least wanted to offer you some mercy,” Lando reasoned.
Christy refused the fish he handed her. She rocked angrily back and forth, not even looking at him. When he stretched out a hand to her, she jerked from his touch almost violently, repulsed. She was uncertain she wanted him near her anymore. Lando put his own food down. He packed up some of the articles he had, leaving her clothes, the camera case, and a flashlight behind. He rose stiffly to his feet as though pained. For a brief moment, she saw his hand hover in the air as though to touch her hair, then thought better.
“I suggest you eat. Keep following the river downstream and hopefully you will run into someone eventually,” Lando said quietly, then he left.
Christy watched as Lando moved from her sight. She whimpered softly. He had left her all alone. Yet, a voice reasoned, what did she expect? It seemed to her she was the only person on earth he had ever been kind to and she had thrown it in his face. But he is a killer, her mind screamed. But he didn't kill you, another voice challenged.
“Lando?” Christy called. “Wait, please come back.”
Christy looked at the bush where he had walked off, her eyes searching hopefully. She began stuffing the items he had left her into her backpack hurriedly. She needed to catch up to him. Running, Christy crashed through the bush, holding the fish in her hands.
“Lando! Wait, please,” she yelled desperately.
She could see him up ahead, slowing down. He still had yet to face her.
“Please, don't leave me all alone,” she implored.
Hearing her frightened cry, Lando paused and breathed deeply. He should tell her to stay away. He had been getting too close to her. Telling her things he had never told another soul.
Christy knew he was a killer. He had never denied it. He should have known hearing of an actual killing would frighten her further. He had felt so uncertain until once again a thought had popped into his warring mind, making the decision for him.
She needs to know exactly what she is dealing with, the voice was again advising. If she rejects you, are you still willing to care for her? Did you save her expecting a favor? Can there not be one time in your life you can actually give unconditionally, are you even capable of such a selfless act?
He had watched sadly as her eyes filled with horrified disgust. For a moment, Lando thought she was about to become physically ill. Each harsh word had slammed him worse than any knife ever had, and then she had shut him out, ignored him as though he didn't exist. She really only wanted him for the protection he offered. His company. His head dropped to his chest.
He could now hear her labored breathing as she raced to catch up. Of course she only wanted his protection, his company. Lando had already told her once they returned he would be gone from her life. The voice casually mentioned, What did you expect, her undying love? A commitment? Lando didn't make commitments, he only lived for the moment.
“Lando?” Christy cried to him from a few feet away.
Lando stood quietly, head bowed in thought, wondering if he should accept her back. They needed each other. Out here was no place to have to be alone. But she would ask more questions, she would want to hear more of his life. What if she glared upon him once more with revulsion, could he handle the pain of rejection over and over? He made a decision, having no other choice, his face set in steely, determined resolve, and he turned to confront her.
Suddenly, moving swiftly, he dropped the duffel bag to the ground as he meticulously pulled his gun from behind his belt in one fluid motion. Christy stopped dead in her tracks; her face reflected stunned surprise. The fish she was carrying dropped from her grasp, falling to the forest floor with a tiny bounce, ruffling a few crackling leaves.
“Lando?” Christy whimpered, her plea was laced with terror.
Lando's look had turned murderous.
“Get down!” Lando bellowed urgently.
Christy turned abruptly, sensing eminent disaster, and dropped to the ground, screaming in terror. Her arms flew up to protect her face. The mountain lion screamed out hideously and leaped into the air, intent on capturing his helpless prey. The gun blasted and Christy was knocked backwards as the huge cat landed soundly upon her. She screamed repeatedly, batting her small arms, trying to dislodge it. Lando gave a violent yank, locking his hands on the cat's neck and back, and pulled the furry predator's limp body from her gasping form. Lando grabbed Christy to him, crushing her within his fierce embrace. Lifting her off the ground as he straightened with her in his grasp.
“It's all right, sweetheart, it's dead,” Lando soothed.
“I'm sorry. Please don't leave me. You just seem so frightening at times, I get so scared,” Christy admitted while clutching his powerful body closer still.
“I know I'm frightening to you at times. You might always find me frightening. But I won't ever hurt you. I swear it!” Lando declared vehemently.
“Thank you for saving me...again,” Christy said with wide-eyed sincerity.
Lando chuckled softly, his heart that near pounded from his breast began to steady, and he locked her tightly to him, listening as her ragged, labored breathing began to steady. You are mine. The voice in his head sounded a bit too triumphant. He realized she was still not ready or willing to hear that. Also feeling a tad concerned, Lando rather hoped he wasn't becoming schizophrenic.
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* * *
Chapter Eight
* * * *
With Christy's help, Lando and she were able to construct a shelter in front of a large rock, using the parachute as a tent. Soon enough a fire blazed within the tented structure, brightly offering them warmth and a small measure of security against the frightening darkness that would envelope them as dusk descended. Lando had boiled more water, checking to make sure eight minutes had elapsed, and added to it a few of the mints Christy had carried, melting them for flavor.
Feeling pessimistic, Christy watched as Lando took a stick and turned a dead, headless snake roasting in ashes placed off to the side. He had found it sunning itself quietly on a rock, warming in the afternoon sun. Lando had pounced on it. He informed her once the skin split he would then boil the meat. She grimaced at the thought; still, her tummy rumbled in hunger.
Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad.
Christy sipped slowly from a crude piece of driftwood Lando handed her. It contained the hot minted water. She watched as Lando refilled the metal bowl with water from a condom he had dipped into the stream.
“Lando?” Christy asked cautiously, remembering how their last exchange had ended when she had questioned him, but she was just too curious, she needed to know.
“I know you are afraid to ask, Christy. I know you are afraid not to ask. You will just have to accept me for who I am and what I was. You know I will never hu
rt you. I swear that on my own life.”
Christy thought about that for a moment. “Have you ever been camping?” she inquired, taking a different route. She wanted to understand him, not fear him
Lando looked at her thoughtfully, obviously wondering at her change of tactics. “Not intentionally,” he replied.
“Something you had to do?” she asked.
“Definitely,” Lando responded, and then chuckled; Christy could tell he was recalling a memory.
“Is that how you know about the Big Dipper, and direction, and...eating snakes?”
“Yes. The man I was after led me into a deep forested area, hoping I would not survive because of my inexperience; he was very surprised at my tenacity,” Lando replied.
“Why did he teach you?” Christy asked softly. She knew Lando had killed him. Why would anyone teach someone of survival if they were about to die? Especially by their hand?
It just did not make any sense to her.
Taking a breath, Lando looked at her intensely. “If you were going to die, if there were no other options available to you, would you rather die a horrible, painful, slow, agonizing death, or would you want a merciful end?”
Christy swallowed noisily. She knew it had been Lando who had given the man a choice.
She once more fought to control the sudden terror in her breast. She knew Lando was admitting he could cause someone great pain if he did so choose.
“Would it help if I told you what he had done?” Lando asked kindly.
“Was he a bad man?” Christy asked softly, battling an internal struggle. Her head once again bowed almost to her chest.
“He was a very bad man. Some men don't feel as I do, that women and children are too helpless to be harmed. They enjoy their helplessness. They revel in it. They glorify in it. When he offered to teach me a few things on survival I offered him an act of mercy he had never shown another,” Lando told her.
Love's Dangerous Territory Page 9
